When We Get Sick…

Okay here is a real stretch.  Does God know what it is like to not know what to do? Does he know the feeling of being at the end of His rope? Does He even have a rope?

I would say in the Doctrine World the answer to all of these questions is  a resounding “no.”

But when you have been up for two nights, your youngest has been crooping for three weeks, your husband has been in bed for two days, your oldest is home from school too with first stages of the same crud, your dog is yipping outside the door and you are cramping like crazy from PMS, it really helps to know that God understands.

Really understands.

I was laying on the couch in those first waking moments thinking, “God how am I going to do this today?” And Charis came and snuggled with me on the couch.

“Like this.”  I felt Him whisper in my heart.

Just let Him hold you today. Somehow, no matter how bad it gets, it always feels better when you’re in Their Arms.

As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you…” Isaiah 66:13

Lord thank you that You are what’s at the end of my rope. Amen

Face Toward the Sun

Did you know that sunflowers follow the sun all day long? Their faces follow the pattern of the sun across the sky. If you have seen a field of them, like the one on highway 321 in Friendsville, it looks like the sun has dripped across the field leaving little puddles of sunlight on stalks.

What I love is the notion of faces turned toward the sun. Wherever the sun goes, the plant, without mind, heart or soul, follows. The flower knows the sun is where the nourishment is. The life. And it reflects the golden life so, so well. Then oddly enough, when the seeds are ripening, the sunflower faces only east to protect the seeds from scalding.

If that is not enough, the center of the flowers form circles. Like a crown.

Wonder what God is saying through this simple act of nature?  Follow. Reflect. Glory displayed.

Father, I think You are so smart and so beautiful in how nature teaches us about You. Teach us to look and listen. Warm our hearts and minds, that we would follow You and find life. Amen.

The Master of mastery

Have you seen the new Karate Kid? There is a scene where  the Kung Fu master tells the boy, “Hang up your coat, take off your coat, drop your coat, pick up your coat.” And repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Not until many days and hours of repetition later did the kid realize the brilliance of the master’s strength, discipline, and character building.

When you are working on mastery, praise and criticism are inevitable. But also irrelevant.

Look to the Master. Let His voice alone be your teacher. Walk through your circumstances with an eye on what He is training in you. Don’t aim for a gold star. Aim for being like the Master. That’s sure His goal…

“A student is not above his teacher, but everyone who is fully trained will be like his teacher.”  Luke 6:40

Lord, I want You to be my first and foremost teacher. I want to submit to Your training, I want to work for Your loving praise alone. Thank You that You are working all things to make me more like you. Amen


Performance vs. Mastery

Tuesday night in WGR class we talked about Performance vs. Mastery.

Performance always drives us to be approved, by means of pleasing others. At all costs. Even at the expense of our own desires and often at the expense of following God. Performance always wants a grade, a score, pat on the back. When you have to get it right all the time, any criticism becomes an enemy that produces shame. There is no room for growth, experimentation, or lessons learned through  trial and error because there is pending doom of a “hand” hovering over your every move, ready to swat you if you fail. Not fun.

Criticism is usually fatal to the performer’s growth.  However, praise does not offer a much better prognosis. As performers, we have this deep, empty pit in our heart needing to be filled with God’s significance. Apart from His definition of worth, we try to fill this hole with the praise of others. Thus praise becomes the ever-out-of-reach gold ring that the performer continuously strives to get more and more of.  Performance is not so good for our soul.

Mastery however, is the slow, strenuous journey of Learning.

Learning requires the right ingredients, the right recipe, the right goal, and the right teacher. Mastery is having your eye on the right model and then accepting that the “master” is using all circumstances to teach you how to do as she does. Over time. With repetition.

Mastery is not about proving value. That fact is established. Done. Settled. Mastery is literally about refining, unveiling, conditioning the valued person to walk in the master’s footsteps. One life experience at a time. One day at a time with new mercies every morning so that we begin with a clean slate to try again, to learn more, to practice, to improve, even to fail and get back up again.

When Jesus picked the disciples, “performance” would have them trying to validate His selection of them. Instead, He chose them out of His goodness, His significance. Just like He chose us. He said to them, follow in My footsteps, do like I do, and you will see the Father like I do. He says the same to us.

You being valued isn’t the question. You doing life like Jesus does is the life long journey The Master is after. And in.

Need a visual? This is the result of my fourth and fifth batch of bread. See the difference? Flat, heavy, “squished” vs. light, airy and yummy. Performance would have quit after ruined loaf number one. Mastery is continuing to learn, grow and try, try again. Only trying with more wisdom each time. My family is loving my journey into mastery. Smile.

Criticism and Praise

I heard a story a long time ago about a train conductor who would walk up and down the train punching people’s tickets.  He came upon one grouchy lady who complained and ranted and loudly criticized his every move.  As he punched her ticket, he raised his eyes and said, “You hear that, Lord?” And he moved on.

The people in the that box were astounded by his gracious response. So a man several rows back praised him on how well he handled the difficult moment. The conductor raised his eyes again and said, “Did you hear that, Lord?”

Which voice would have rattled you more? The criticism? The praise?  Funny how some people languish over one word of criticism. Others are spun around by one word of praise.  How loud is the voice of God in your life?  Is His voice enough to silence the voices of criticism and praise from others?

The Great Divide

A lot of people have used this phrase to denote the great chasm between the saved and the unsaved. But I think it is a great description of what separates the Saved and the Living.

I hear lots of stories. What I see as the biggest hurdle for most believers is the notion that God is present, relevant and available in their lives.

Today. Tomorrow. Now.

He is important enough to save us from sins. Indeed, enough to punch a card for entry into heaven. Yet He seems irrelevant and even irrational for our daily lives.

Why is that?

Have we gotten so self-sufficient, so IN-dependent, that we don’t think to ask God for help?
Is He too busy?
Are we too broken, beyond His repair?
Are we unclear of what is ours to handle and what is His?

I was reading a book that lists many of the ways God introduces Himself to us. One is that we are soldiers and He is the King of Angel Armies. The other name and picture was of us being His sheep and He our Good Shepherd.

Don’t know about you, but a soldier and a sheep? In one package?  My friend Meagan said she feels like a sheep holding a sword.  That awkward and that foolish.

Or maybe it is precisely that need and dependence God has set us up for. We are part of the Great Battle Plan. We are also lowly, needy, sheep that can not cross running water, don’t know when to move on to other pastures, can’t get back up when we fall down unless helped, and who are the stinkiest farm animals around. That’s us. Snort. God’s sheep.

Today, instead of scraping to figure out how to make your life work, ask the Lord to be your Shepherd. Ask Him to lead you beside still waters so you can cross safely. Ask Him to lead you to pastures where there is good green grass. Make the metaphors work in your life. Just ask Him. And then watch and wait.

Begin to close the Great Divide by relinquishing your need for control, and acknowledging His Very Real Presence in your moment right now.

Psalm 63 says: “My soul clings to you, your right hand upholds me.” O Lord, lead us in your way everlasting. Interrupt our lives. Realign our thoughts and needs to You. You are the Good Shepherd. We need You. Amen.

God Stories from Beth

So love sharing the way God is holding Beth close to Him. This was from a recent email she sent. Enjoy!

It is Sunday (Aug 29) so I’ve been here a little over a week and it has been the hardest day so far without question.  I’m just really missing people and realizing that this could be harder and longer than I thought even though I’ve known it wasn’t going to be easy.  I went outside behind the cottage to sit at the picnic table facing the river and turned on some music planning to write emails.

Instead I ended up just listening and letting the songs wash over me for about an hour.  I was playing a list of songs God had brought up throughout the time leading up to the first trip and as well as this one.  Each one had something I needed to hear or be reminded of.

The first one was “Our Hope Endures” which just helped change my perspective.  Nothing has really changed…the reasons I came are still the same and everything I heard from the Lord to bring me here is still true.  The next song was “Don’t Get Comfortable” by Brandon Heath.  The chorus says, “I am gonna show you what I mean.  I am gonna love like you’ve never seen.  You are gonna live like you used to dream.  This is your new song.”

I’ve also been frustrated because I feel like I’m not doing anything or getting anywhere.  I know that it will take time but you would think that I’d never even met the Croudaces before with how reserved I’ve been and still am even after a week.  I was thinking about this and had stopped listening to the songs.  The Lord brought my attention back in the middle of “Wait and See” also by Brandon Heath…”Still wondering why I’m here.  Still wrestling with my fear, but oh, He’s up to something.  And the farther on I go I’ve seen enough to know that I’m not here for nothing.  He’s up to something. He’s not finished with me yet.”

Each song was so on target.  “By Your Side” Tenth Ave. North and “Let the Waters Rise” Mikeschair…”God you know where I’ve been you were there with me then.  You were faithful before you’ll be faithful again.”  Then hearing God say the next line:  “I’m holding your hand.”

At one point I heard something rustling in the leaves and looked over.  It was a bird but what caught my attention was the fact that it was at the base of one of those trees that the bark peels off.  I hadn’t seen or at least noticed any of these trees til just then.  Not much of the bark is off at this point but it has started.  The Lord was saying, “You’re going to get there. Don’t get discouraged with slow beginnings.  It is coming off.”  It will be interesting to watch the tree as it progresses.  I’m sure the Lord will have more to say to me about it.

Lord, thank You that You see and hear. Thank You that You are ever interceding for us. Bless You, Lord. Amen.

Don’t Scramble. Follow.

Don’t scramble. Follow.

Simple words. Big, hairy, audacious way to live. Scrambling and striving is innate, ingrained. Expected and applauded. By the world, that is.

Following is scary, unsure, uncertain and certainly out of your control. But whose life is it anyway?

Weren’t we crucified with Christ? And now, we don’t live anymore? Our demands for control got nailed to the tree. Right?

Want to know if you are simply doing life the Jesus way when He said, “Follow Me” ?

Pay attention to your fear, anger, and need to know the outcomes. They are dead give-aways that you really, really, really think you are in charge.

Not only did Jesus say He would never leave you, He also said you couldn’t add one hour to your life or an inch to your height by worrying. He implied, why fret when when you can trust?

Fretting comes from fear of being alone and on your own. Trusting comes when you know you are in His hands. And it is the only and best place to be.

“Let not your heart be troubled. Trust in God. Trust also in Me” John 14:1

Do You Get Tired of Hearing “I Love You” ?

I now have a God Box. I had to. My dresser and my desk were covered with all these sweet notes, kisses, hearts or butterflies from the Lord. As I was lovingly putting them in the box, I thought about how I have a box for my kids, and a box for Chuck.  Little remembrances of moments, notes, emotions, memories of our lives together.

And now a God box.  At first I felt foolish. Or insane.

But then I went to the mountains with Chuck.
In our favorite jeep with the top down.
On our favorite kind of day, crisp and cool.
With our favorite music playing loud.
Holding hands and breathing deep.

We were aware, invested, immersed in being together. Nothing foolish. Nothing insane. But instead it was the most normal, delightful thing in the world.

Then we went to our favorite spot in the mountains. But actually it was Our spot before it was our spot. I had been running away to that spot to cry or dream or vent long before Chuck came into the picture. When I got there, it was just as as sentimental with Him as it had been with him. Butterflies were everywhere. The sand was warm, the water loud and laughing. The trees nodding and bending in the almost-autumn breeze. I gasped in surprise when a cool gust of wind swept across my skin as walked in the chilled water. And there it was…

A little pink heart lying on the river’s bed.

No doubt discarded by a visitor tubing down the river. But there. Not carried away. But there. On that day. At that place. For me.

I picked it up and laughed out loud. My voice and tears burst out, “I love You too!”

What else could I say?

No, I will never get tired of His love notes. Because I can never get enough of His love.

Lord, you delight in us. In me. You are ever, ever trying to tell us how much You love us. Give us eyes to see, and ears to hear. And boxes. We all need God boxes so we won’t forget. Oh yes, and Lord…We love You back. Amen

Big Mac Attack

Some of you have heard about my computer woes.  But what you may not have heard is how the Lord totally set me up. Again.

I had all these big plans of writing this summer. My laptop computer broke. I got another laptop. It broke, too.

Summer has slipped by, the crunch of our new WGR class is here, and I have been reduced to trying to peck out emails on a machine that resembles an old, old woman on oxygen in a hospital bed, gasping for breath. But here is the rest of the story. I am a little awestruck in the telling.

This morning I am sitting in front of  an iMac with a 20-inch screen. It’s secondhand for sure. It came late yesterday afternoon, only one day before our class begins tonight. But still, I’m shaking my head in disbelief as I look at the first pages of my new books without having to squint and blow it up to 200%. I am noticing its speed and ease of handling big projects. With three book projects on the way this year—and a worship CD— this is a very, very needed piece of equipment.

I think to myself: Did God really break my computers, while they were still under warranty,  so that I could get what He knew I would need?  Is that possible? Or, even probable?

I am reminded of Proverbs 16:9  In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps.

All that wrangling, and worrying, and whining, for what? Can you believe I shed tears over a computer?  Or lack thereof?

Today, God’s name on my calendar  is Jehovah Jireh. The meaning of this name is The Lord Who Provides. The name is literally, The Lord Who Sees, or The Lord Who Will See To It.  Funny huh?

Lord, You alone are my source, and our source, for everything.  What can we say but we love You. Thank You for being so good to us, even if we don’t always see it in the moment. Amen.

Notice heart in center upper screen... smile.