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God is Not Ashamed of You…Part 1

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“God is not ashamed of you.” Ryan Wyatt said at Fuse Church on Sunday. The comment hung in the air — as if suspended by our deep longing and yet our persistent unbelief — as if we all collectively held our breath at the boldness of the notion.  He repeated the phrase. This time a declaration.  “God is. Not ashamed. Of you.” 

You could tangibly feel the relief. We exhaled our corporate breath and Truth laid over the congregation like a warm blanket, comforting and covering us all.

God really is not ashamed of you. Nor is He disgusted, disappointed, embarrassed, or fretting over you.  Imagine it. God in heaven wringing His hands over your latest goof up, saying, ‘Oh my, oh my, what ever will I, the God of all creation, do about this creature of mine?”

Get it? Not gonna happen. Ever. Infinity.

If you think you have that much cosmic power, you might need a bigger God. I’m just saying.

I want to belabor this point.  It applies to all: the couple living together, the businesswoman who cheats on a deal, the unfaithful husband, the screaming mom, the binging teenager, the person who swears to do better with his selfishness and yet repeats it daily…God is not ashamed to call all of us His children. How can it be?

It’s called the grace factor. While we are made in His image, there is a huge difference in God’s emotional capacity and ours. Thank you God. ThIMG_4791is is really good news for people who are still running from God, or holding Him at arms length, or won’t look Him in the eyes.

Perhaps, you are afraid He will act like you act. Or how your mom, dad, pastor, friend, or spouse acted.  Perhaps, you are afraid of the expression on His face.  You think He is thinking about your sin and you want to hide from Him. But this is one of the greatest deceptions in the Christian life.

If you belong to God in the name of Jesus, then your sin is gone. Period. It’s paid for. It’s not that God is in denial. But that He lives in fulfillment.  The law has been satisfied. Death for sin.  Jesus for you. Done. You now live in a too-good-to-be-true-but-is-true reality of Grace.

Which brings us to a much bigger and better conversation.  If God is not ashamed of you, and He is not talking about your sin, then what IS He talking about?  What IS the expression on His face?

I want to take a few blogs and talk about living from the look on Jesus’s face. Selah.  Living from…the look on His Face…

But for today, will you take a moment just to still your heart, and your world?

Let your spirit see the expression on Jesus’s face. Even now, close your eyes. Take a deep breath and just look and listen for Him.

I trust once you let him remove the veil of shame from your eyes, you will see something, Someone, better than you expected.

More to come.
“My heart says of you, “Seek his face!”  Your face, Lord I will seek.” Psalm 27:8 

 

Photography by Salem Spicka, “Veiled Woman” from Metropolitan Museum of Art, New York City

Farewells, Hellos, and Thank Yous

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Dear friends of mine, friends of WGR and friends of Jesus,

Wow!  My first reaction coming off of Sabbatical is— Wow! This has been the hardest and best year of my life.  What a God! What a Lover!

It’s been so impacting, in fact, that it will be the source for my next book.  There have been so many visions and revelations, so many holy hushes, so many Re-directions. I am hoping to have it finished by fall, please pray with me.  (Hint: You might get sneak peeks through my blog and FB posts.)

Now comes a season of “new wine” and  “new wineskins.”  It could be summed up in a few words. Abandon. Worship. Write.

He has released me from the Drive to be so “productive” that I neglect myself, my family, or even Him! It is a greater work He is after. Therefore, you will likely see less events this year, but you will see more in-depth writing and more opportunities for focused teaching.

Honestly, I am eager to teach. And yet, He has made it clear that it will look very different. Something has shifted even in my outpouring. I  felt it when I taught a recent youth retreat and I spoke at a Pep Moms retreat. We went to incredible places with God. I am so grateful He is refining my gifting.

What’s next? Writing and Waiting on Him to open doors. Our conversation went something like this: “Jana your job is to refine the message, I’ll take care of the audience.”

Thus, my next teaching opportunity is April 25-26 Fascinate Women’s Gathering at Fuse Church.  I will be one of the keynote speakers! I am so so excited!!

(It’s an open event so you can register at www.fusechurch.com)

An 8-week intensive course to follow up that event called, “Saying Yes to God.”
Location Claris Networks Conference Room, 6100 Lonas Drive. (right off Papermill exit at I-40)  Registration is required and space is limited.

Many of you have asked? What about Beautiful, or the marriage retreats? What about Unhindered, Sweetly Broken Abortion retreat, or Yes and Amen?  What about church or small group retreats?

Yes and Yes is my answer. I am so willing and available as long as someone else bears the weight of the event. I have LOVED doing the many events hosted by WGR. We had a blast and I am forever changed by what God did in our midst.

Going forward though, I am to be a speaker/teacher. Not an event coordinator.  God has made the transition so clear that He moved the incredible women I served with into new adventures. Ahem.  We call that “pruning.”  Therefore, I am eagerly waiting for an increase of harvest of women who will be rescued, restored and released… smile.treewomansmall

I was at the beach on the close of the Sabbatical which was the exact date of the first Unhindered Encounter in 2007. I stood in complete awe as I considered all that God has done in the last seven years. Really it takes my breath away to consider what he has done for me as well as for many of you. We are different. Our relationships with God, with our friends and family, in our marriages—they are different. Better. Deeper. God has been doing an amazing work in us all.

Will you allow me a few Thank You’s?
I offer a heart felt shout out to:

The Girl Group and the Dream Teams: (you know who you are…)
I look back on all I have learned, all that we did together, all that God taught us and I am humbled beyond words.  You each brought such joy to my life. I loved walking that stretch of the road with you.  I am forever changed. Your hours invested in the events for other women are mind blowing. Only me and Jesus know how much you gave on their behalf. Thank you.

Lyschel Burket:  You were the first insane and brave soul to come along side and “assist” the vision of rescuing and restoring women. I will be forever indebted and grateful for your organizational skills, your deep friendship and encouragement, and your steadfast belief that all the volunteer work was worth it.

Heather Terflinger:  When the baton passed from Lyschel to you, I had no idea that the roller coaster was getting ready to speed up.  What a ride!! Your laughter and energy took us to new dreams and possibilities.  I have enjoyed every minute working with you.

Volunteers:  Although that sounds broad and impersonal, I can see your faces as I write.  The courage it took for so many of you to step into serving others, the cardboard testimonies, the hours of blood sweat and tears…How do I say thank you?  When I did that first conference with 5 dear friends, I had no idea that God would raise up an “army of Friends” to take it from there. Especially you Laura Jones and Beth Hungerford. God bless you and bless you all again.

Mentors and Prayer Warriors: Betsy Michalik, Kate LeBoeuf, my faithful Board, John Dee, the intercessors — thank you for  your wisdom, insight, and deep concern for me. I am so blessed by you.

To my husband and children:  You are my most important ministry of all. Thank you for your investment, patience, and sacrifice.

Does this sound like a farewell?  It is.  And it is not.  We have all crossed paths out of His goodness. I still ardently pray for harvest to come out of holy seeds that He planted. And my eyes watch and wait for all that He is bringing forth in days and years to come.

I am confident of His calling and His plans.  “Yet he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, being fully persuaded that God had power to do what he had promised.” Romans 4:20-21

Thank you for being a part of this ongoing work of God.  Thank you caring enough to read this. May we press in to know Him more with “ever increasing glory.”

Jana

Pesto: A Lesson on Jesus and Gratitude

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I’ve heard a lot of people bad-mouthing God lately. Mean stuff.  Accusing Him of wrong doing, of abandoning people, of being cruel and unjust. And while I know their petty insults don’t put a dent in His endless joy, it aggravates me. A lot.

I rant to God myself but I don’t blame Him for my stupidity or the stupidity of others. In fact, Jesus is my best and brightest hope. So why isolate from the only One who heals, loves to help, and changes circumstances?   As I was mumbling to God about these mumblers, He gave me a crazy picture that put things in perspective for us all.

My friend Kate makes the best pesto in the world. The bowls magically empty every time I serve it. Even when it is not served, people request it. “So you got any more of Kate’s pesto?” they ask, already knowing I do. It would be near criminal to refuse them. It’s that good.

It all started with Kate’s crazy basil plant that she ignored and it produced abundantly, out of control. That is another blog post altogether, but she decided to make pesto with her abundant plant and then realized that her quantities of pesto were also abundant. Enter me, the willing pesto junkie, happy to take any extras she may have.

She recently asked me if I wanted last year’s leftovers to make room for this year’s batch. I took it all.  Without guilt or hesitation. All.  And yes, I shared the abundant stash with other pesto junkie friends.pesto

Now in my world, I have really tried to express my gratefulness. From my perspective, I really, really think I have thanked Kate appropriately.  I have bragged on her, I have posted on her Facebook page, I have texted.  I am pretty sure that she knows that I am grateful for this delicious gift.

Until. Until she gave me the recipe and I decided to make it myself.

(Jesus is relevant in this story so stay with me.)

She gave me the sacred recipe with extra notes gleaned from trial and error. She gave me some of her sacred, abundant, Basil plant. She told me where and what kinds of ingredients to buy. She even told me what kind of food processor I would need.

I was making it, but everything was still from her and through her…

It was the most humbling moment. When I made it myself, only then did I see the effort required, the true and high cost of the ingredients, the lavish flavors that were carefully blended together. This is not your basic thrown down of mere nuts, olive oil and basil.  There were two fine cheeses I couldn’t even pronounce, two different kinds of nuts, extra virgin olive oil, on and on the extravagant list goes.  It’s not hard to make necessarily.  But when my own batch was done, I found I was grateful beyond words. And no, to be honest, it was not as good as hers. She has “the touch.”

I had no idea.  I had no idea the cost of the cheeses and nuts. No idea how much basil was required. No idea of the effort and the precision.

Then it hit me, how could I be fully grateful for that which I had no idea of its true cost?

I thought about Jesus a lot when I was making pesto that day with my junkie friend, Heather.  We kept making remarks like, “Now we know why it’s so good.” and “Wow, who knew this was in here?”  and, “Oh my goodness, this is so expensive to make!”

I kept thinking about Kate just giving me all that pesto.  So extravagant a gift and all I gave her was a greedy thank you and an ask for more. I kept thinking about Jesus.  About how I think I know why to be thankful but really I don’t have a clue of the real cost…

A couple of God take aways:

Be grateful rather than greedy.  When we complain/accuse/blame The God of Love and Life, we forget that we can’t even breath without His power. He gives us all that we have. We may be dissatisfied, or greedy, or clueless, but we do well to remember that “he graciously gives us all things for life and godliness.” All that we have, even that which we complain about…it’s a gift from Him.

His lavishness is to be shared. It is out of His abundance that He gives us abundance so that we can give abundantly.  God blessed Kate’s basil that she transformed and shared with me. Out of her blessing I was able to enjoy this amazing gift but also to pass the blessing on to others. What have you been blessed with?  Are you transforming it? Are you sharing it?

Consider the great cost.  Jesus has given us His extravagant, abundant love, redemption, adoption—every single blessing we enjoy.  On our good days, we throw little thank you’s at Him while our hands are out asking for more. On our bad days, we just complain. And yet we don’t even know all that it took— all the ingredients, the cost, the precision, the sacrifice, for us to have His life.

How gracious. How giving. How generous. How patient with my ignorance.

It is the giver of the gift who knows the full price of the gift. Like Kate with her pesto. Like Jesus with his redemption. It is the receiver of the gift (me!) that would do well to consider the cost and realize some things can never be re-paid only shared. Maybe the best way to bless Jesus, or Kate, is to honor the giver by passing on the blessing I have received with a grateful heart.

As for the trash talking about God? Maybe the sound of our praise and thanksgiving will drown out their doubt and unbelief. Maybe our shared abundance will do more to soften their hard hearts than any correction.

The Missing Ingredient for Breakthrough

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“I’m stuck.”     “I can’t.”       “I don’t know how.”

I have come to a real epiphany around these phrases. As a warning, you may not like my revelation, but it is in the Word.  So I guess you’ll need take it up with the Author and Finisher of our Faith instead of with me. Smile.

I’ve spent a lot of time telling people how to get well.  Some respond and some don’t. No problem. But I have also spent a lot of time trying to talk people into getting well. Most don’t.  This is a problem on both our ends. It’s not a counseling issue, it’s a repentance issue.

Why?  Because, while God has forgiven us completely of our sin and no longer counts it against us, there is still a spiritual principle of repentance that is for OUR good health. Let me explain.

Repentance is like a spiritual thermometer. It checks the tenderness of our hearts, our willingness to see with spiritual eyes, our openness to hear from the Lord. When I get in a wad, it is repentance that invites God to redirect my heart and mind. Otherwise I continue to harden—defend — isolate—blame. These heart conditions always lead to stupid actions. Always. That’s why we want our “repentance reflex” to be very quick and strong.

So what is repentance?  To turn back. To return. To agree with God.

It is like Google Maps saying, “Re-routing.”  Somehow we have gotten off the blue line of wisdom or truth so repentance, or returning, helps us get back on God’s blue line of direction. And with repentance comes a promise.

“Therefore repent and return, so that your sins may be wiped away, in order that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord.” (Acts 3:19-20 NASB)

This makes my heart beat faster. Have you ever felt this burden? The sheer weight of the bitterness, confusion, anger, disappointment, unbelief, sarcasm, shame or accusation?

As soon as we confess it, agree with God, turn our faces back to His, He wipes it away and we are given a fresh breath of His loving presence. Again and again He does this. His mercy never fails.

People who love to repent do get well over time.

But what about those who scoff or ignore or despise even the idea of repentance? Here is my epiphany.

So much time is spent on God’s people who are Clearly lost and yet they act like they are not. This is denial, or worse, pride. I am finding it is better to let them soak in the hard place rather than to give hours of unheeded counsel. Here’s why. I believe our good intentions hamper their healing. People want to talk about their problems and they should. We all need it. In fact the Bible encourages us to confess our sins to one another that we may be healed. (James 5:16)

Yet here’s a dividing point. Danny Silk has this beautiful phrase, “You don’t have a solution for anybody on the planet that doesn’t have a problem.” People who want to massage their problems are not repenting. They want to feel better for the moment but they never want to get right with the Lord. They rarely ever want to confess that they are the problem. And more importantly, they never want to believe that Jesus can or will heal them. Even Jesus asked, do you want to get well? (John 5)
He didn’t ask, do you want spend endless time arguing, blaming, defending, explaining why you are sick and why I should feel sorry for you?

He asked a crippled man, Do you want to be well? When the man started giving his list of excuses, Jesus gave a clear instruction, “pick up your mat and walk.” It was completely counter to what the cripple expected. Here is where choice is a life or death matter in healing. The cripple had to respond to Jesus’s instruction in order to be healed.

Everyone has the freedom to choose life or death. God or drama. Free or stuck. Worship or numbed out.  People have to choose to go to God. To listen and respond in repentance. They need to feel the squeeze of their choices in attitudes and actions. We call this beautiful phenomena “being led by the Spirit.” And we all have to respond when the Spirit tells us to get up and walk.

I think it’s important for us to tell people about the incredible love of God and then get out-of-the-way. It’s His kindness that leads us to repentance. Not our begging, enabling, cajoling, controlling. Only the Holy Spirit can bring conviction and only the Holy Spirit can empower healing. Our job is to tell them what’s available, love them either way, and then let them choose their own path. Life or death. Healing or addiction. Conquering or quitting.

May we all work on our “repentance reflex.” There is so much more life available in God. I believe repentance is the key that unlocks the door.

Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God. 
Psalm 42:5

Whoever conceals their sins does not prosper, but the one who confesses and renounces them finds mercy. 
Proverbs 28:3a

Our Awkward Lovely Selves

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Why is awkward such a curse?  Why is being in human contact so painful that we will vie for just about any alternative to escape. Enter:

  • Food
  • Porn
  • Smartphones
  • Texting
  • Gossip
  • Avoidance
  • Sex
  • Shopping
  • Drugs
  • Work
  • Shall I go on?

I wonder if Awkward is a symptom instead of a cause. I heard a story once about the power of the photograph.  Read that again. The Power of a Photograph.  The story goes that a group of people were interacting, sharing, relaxed and comfortable in their own skin. They were even “unaware” of personal flaws until…the introduction of the photograph. One woman was said to be quick to smile, full of laughter and joy— until she  saw her face for the first time in a photograph. IMG_1970

Try to give yourself time to envision this.

Our children are INUNDATED with images of themselves. From newborn photos in the hospital, to annual growth pictures, to school pictures, to now Facebook and Instagram postings, our children are constantly seeing themselves captured in time. They are constantly “on display.”  I even remember seeing a great shot on a school field trip of one of Charis’s friends.  I said, “Hey, let me get your picture.” She immediately straightened her back, threw her shoulders back, cocked her head to one side, and then gave me a perfect cover girl smile. Obviously, my original shot of her was ruined, but her “photo coaching” was evident.

So try hard to think of life without the constant evaluation. No concern of whether you are with makeup or without. No selfies. No Kodak moments. Just living life as a fluid experience.

Back to the laughing woman. She saw her own captured image for the first time and for the first time she became self conscious. Conscious of her self.

The wrinkles when she laughed, the gap in her teeth, the way her eyes squinted unevenly, all these unique attributes were, before this moment, simply part of who she was and blissfully un-critiqued.  But no more.

We live in an age of Self Conscious.  How do I look? How do they look? How do I look compared to them?

The temptation is so strong. Case in point. I am in Nashville today having joined Chuck on a business trip.  We got up at 5 a.m. and had a three hour car drive.  So I washed my face, brushed my teeth, pulled my hair back in a ponytail and headed out the door. I was completely at ease until Chuck dropped me off at the Starbucks near Vanderbilt.

I went in the bathroom and saw my reflection. Without even “thinking” I compared my appearance to the college, preppy, professional, cool lookers I had passed on the way in.  Wow, I thought, I look awful.

Really? In a span of walking from the front door to the bathroom, I went from completely at ease to completely self critical.  That, my friends, is the curse of Self Conscious. And, may I go further? I believe this root produces a nasty offshoot called Awkward.

We get in social settings and our fear of conflict or failure or criticism chokes our hearts and emotions to such a degree that we seize up and morph into this ball of Awkward. We’re so concerned about what to say, how to say, should I say. It all comes back to looking to each other for definition and approval.

I tell you there is freedom. And that freedom comes not by winning the game of perfection, or isolation.  No one wins when there is only one standard of beauty. No one wins when we resort to emotional shut down to avoid the tension.

Freedom comes when we acknowledge the fear of being less than and allow Perfect Love to have His say. That is what transformed my Starbucks moment.  “I belong to my lover, and His desire is for me.” (Song of Songs 7:10)  Oh yeah, there is a bigger story being told here.

It really is the diversity, the collage, the imperfections of humanity that make us truly alive. It is the beauty expressed in each of us that lets us truly see the beauty of God. It is the love of God that helps me love me and thus love you.  Why? Because if He can love my crazy, psycho self with all my inconsistencies, I am confident He can love you too.  Understanding the “Level Ground of Love” that we all stand on really does change our need for approval from others.

Freedom comes when God’s compassion for the human condition becomes our standard instead of our own self conscious assessment.

And the whole awkward business? It is uprooted when we shift off Self. Everyone wants to be loved. Everyone makes mistakes. Everyone blows it. And NO one knows how to glide through this life thing without an occasional crash.  Therefore everyone can relate to the need for grace.

We need a bigger view. The pressure’s off. Just be you.  I’ll be me.  Let’s just laugh and love together and let go of the Kodak moment. We are more than a snapshot. We are more than just awkward.

Photo Credit by Salem Spicka

Five Days to a Better Marriage. No, really!

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Brothers,

I am going way out on a limb to give a shout out for my sisters.  I have seen way too many women cry and heard way too many stories about good men who look like idiots, for me to stay silent anymore. I am asking you all to Man Up for your woman.  I’m talking about about the Big Five.

Not a football conference (although you could likely name most).
Not your favorite food or workout regimen.
Not even the episodes of your favorite show….
IMG_5042
I am talking about the Big Five For Your Wife.

  • Her Birthday
  • Your Wedding Anniversary
  • Valentine’s Day
  • Christmas
  • Mother’s Day (if applicable, of course)

These are days that you get to remind her of why she wants to spend another year picking up your socks and listening to you snore.  These are the days that are similar to holding a newborn baby. The baby is so cute that mom forgets the pangs of labor. You want these five days to be filled with so much affection that your wife will forget the pangs of living with you all the other 360 days of the year.

Really?  Only five out of 365 days? I’d say this is a pretty great deal. Very, shall we say, low maintenance…

Yet some men seem surprised, even caught off guard, that they roll around Every Year. With all our modern devices and widgets and apps to make us smarter, it really makes women dislike their men all the more when their husbands “forget” the days that she has been looking forward to for weeks. Yes, for weeks. For women who are up to their eyebrows in changing diapers, or shuffling work, home or kids, these days pop up like little mini-mental vacations.  She looks forward to these special days with girlish delight that her man is going to spoil her, to treat her, to love on her. Finally, it’s her turn, after pouring out on everybody else all year.

I am not talking about spoiled rotten women.  I am talking about women who need reminders of why you fell in love with her in the first place, reminders that you still love her today. Reminders that she is the number one person in your life amid all the pressures of work, kids, and money.

To be serious, these are the days that you promised to remember when you said “I Do.”  It falls under that love and honor part. When you show up like a loser on these days, she feels like she’s a loser too.

Brothers, I know there are objections. I have heard them first hand.

What the men say:
I don’t have any (enough) money.
She’s never satisfied.
I don’t know how to do that.
What difference does one day make?
She knows I love her, why should I jump through hoops?

But have you heard what the women say?
Its not the money, it’s the effort.
If he would just try to make me feel special, I’d be happy.
I give him lists, ideas, even links, but he won’t do anything.
When he refuses to remember me, I feel like he is saying I’m not worth anything to him.
I feel unloved.

The most scary responses are from women who say, “I don’t need that kind of stuff. Anymore.”

Usually these women have given up.  Their husbands have let them down so many times that these women quit hoping just to protect themselves from the disappointment.  They love to call it maturity.  But the dark side of this reality is many times these women have shut down a part of their hearts too.  And men, this is never a good thing for you.

The male and female worlds may indeed be strange and gloriously different. We may seem like foreign creatures to you. Yet there is an inherent design and desire for oneness in our friendship and sexuality.  For the couples who call on Jesus, this desire for oneness is even greater because it embraces the  spiritual connection as well as the physical and emotional ones.

For far too many couples, the design is there but the oneness is not.

I see woman after woman who says her husband refuses to acknowledge her year after year. Don’t be that guy. Men are amazing problem solvers. Men can, and do, accomplish incredible things.  We know you have the ability. We just need to see you have the heart. For us. In action.

Brothers.  It’s only five days. Stop making excuses. Mark your calendars.  Remind your woman why she is lucky to be with you.  Trust me. You will be glad you did.

For The Wounded Ones in the Abortion Battle

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Because I know you are out there…

I know that every time you even hear the words “pro life” or “abortion” or “pro choice” you get a pit in your stomach, or lump in your throat, or rush of fear, anger or regret in your heart.

Your worst fear is to be found out. Your deepest desire is to be forgiven, finally. You wrestle with what your parents, pastor, boyfriend, husband, friends said before and after your decision. Or what they would say if they only knew…

You replay the day. Over and over.

You flinch at babies. Or you long for a baby.

You can’t stop crying. Or you can’t stop raging.

You can’t stop hating yourself. Or the father, or person who pressured you, even if that person was you.

You can’t even think about heaven. Because what on earth will you say to your child?

And then there is God…how could he love you now?

Even churches act like your choice is too bad, too big for God’s mercy. Will God punish you forever?

Do Christians even care about the scared, trapped pregnant woman or just the baby?

Sisters (brothers), God’s grace is greater than all our sin. It truly does wash us white as snow. When we sing “Jesus paid it all” it means He paid for that day in the clinic as well.  Not partially, or conditionally, but it is completely covered by His redeeming love.

I pray you will have the courage to begin the journey to freedom.  One of the steps to my own healing was to talk about it. I had to open the door to let the shame and fear out but also to let His breath of cleansing freedom in. God led me to a grace-filled believers who really, really understood the Power of the cross. They spoke truth over me that Jesus came to save the world not to condemn it. (Thank you Nan Sprouse and Pat Gilley.) They cried with me. They grieved with me. They loved me with the eternal Love of Jesus.

Look at John 3:16-18 with fresh eyes:IMG_1318
“This is how much God loved the world: He gave his Son, his one and only Son. And this is why: so that no one need be destroyed; by believing in him, anyone can have a whole and lasting life. God didn’t go to all the trouble of sending his Son merely to point an accusing finger, telling the world how bad it was. He came to help, to put the world right again.

The gospel of Jesus, His desire to make the world whole applies to  you. You are not disqualified. You are not cast out. You are not unlovable or unforgivable.

Truly, as the song says, “God renders miracles of our sin.”

For the wounded ones of the abortion battle…Your child is with God but you are still here with us. I pray that God will lead you to people that will love you into freedom.

Pro-Choice…I once was blind, but now I see

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“If you don’t want to have an abortion, then don’t have one. If I do want to, then it should be available.”

“What right do you have to tell me what to do with my body? It’s my choice!”

“Thank you [HIllary Clinton] for always speaking up for women.”
IMG_1717
Let’s play a little game, shall we? Let’s translate some of these comments from people who advocate abortion:
“If you don’t want to murder someone then don’t, but if I do want to murder someone, then I should have all the tools to do it.”

“I have the right to do what I want with my body, even if it means I am destroying someone’s body in the meantime.”

“Thank you Hillary Clinton for only protecting the women who are able to speak for themselves and not the ones who are currently silent in the womb.”

I did have an abortion.
I was pro-choice.
Until I realized how selfish and ridiculous my logic was — I was guilty of murder so let me help more people be guilty of murder.

What aggravates me about the abortion debate is many  people are so high and mighty about their personal rights and so condescending to others who value all human life.  What I want, what I think, what I need.  One woman said she couldn’t imagine bringing her baby into prison to see the dad. So she aborted instead.  This is crazytown.  Death is better than hardship?

And on top of it all, the personal hell that abortion brings is the most UNDERrated dilemma ever.  How many women and men have I walked with who carry life-altering grief, shame and guilt.  They made decisions based on too much fear and too little help and  hope. No one talks about this reality in the pro-choice camps.

Thank you Jesus for washing that blood off my hands.  Thank you for healing my broken heart. I pray the same for those who still suffer from this choice.

Today though, I want to address the staunch pro-choicers…If you are in favor of murdering the babies for mom’s convenience, preference, and shortsightedness about the future (I can say this because I did it) then proceed.  Let’s just agree to call it what it is: Perverted human rights. One human life valued above another. Period.

Don’t call it empowering, or justified, or noble. Just call it murder. I pray that somehow, you will one day see that we have “choiced” away a huge portion of our country’s resources and wounded our own soul in the process.

God have mercy on us all.  Give us eyes to see the truth Lord.

Photo Credit: Salem Spicka

Barking at God

/ Jana / Leave a comment

Her name is Lucy. If you just saw a photo, you would think she is the most adorable dog ever.  If you have ever been to my house…you know better. She “nibbles” on new people which often makes new people feel violated. She steals food off of the counter when you are not looking. She pulls toilet paper  from trash cans or off the roll itself and then shreds it all over the house. She makes daily rounds in the girls’ rooms to scavenge any empty food container that she then quickly demolishes. This could be a chip bag or a plastic container.  Did I mention that she is a lab? Did I mention that she does all this right in front of me? She will literally go find a snack container and bring it to me and lay down in front of me to destroy it.

At least she is open about her sin.

If these were not endearing enough to warrant a trip to the shelter, her pinnacle offense happens while she is on “guard duty.” She has free range of the house while we are gone and you can hear her barking as soon as we get out of the car. Good dog.  But when you come around the corner of our house and look in the window, you see that the barking dog is actually laying on our bed. Laying. On our bed. Barking.

When she sees it is us, she STAYS on the bed and continues to bark until she sees we are at the door. Finally she rouses from her comfort zone to greet us.

Why has she not made a trip to the shelter? Because we love her. She rolls over to have her belly rubbed much like our three cats do. She and Chuck have an evening ritual of playing catch that is therapeutic for both of them. She lays on my foot by the fire and looks at me with those soulful brown eyes full of love and affection. We still have high hopes that one day she will be a great dog, so we suffer through the learning process and keep working with her. Because we love her.

And, she stays because she is a great object lesson that God uses to teach me about myself.

Chuck and I came in the other night grumbling about her barking at us from our own bed. Chuck fussed at her saying, “Whose bed do you think that is?  Who do you think you are barking at? My DOG. Barking at ME. From MY bed!!”

I threw out a what I thought was a casual comment from the other room.

“It’s okay, she just looks a lot like how we bark at God sometimes.”  There was a long silent pause and then both Chuck and I took deep breaths.  There is was.  Truth.

I sometimes lay on the bed of relationship that God has provided, in the warm house and life that He’s graciously given. I have an assignment from Him to do, but I often don’t want to be moved out of my comfort zone enough to really do it. To add insult to injury, I sometimes won’t even get up and give God the respect He is due, but instead I bark out commands and concerns, rather than greet him with appreciation and affection.

Ouch. Ouch. Ouch.

Why has God not given up on me, you or us?  He loves us.  He endures our indignant behavior and attitudes, our lackluster praise, even our flat out sin, because He believes in us. Completely.  He loves us. Absolutely. He is confident, no more than confident, He is giddy, crazy sure that He will be able to transform  our hearts so that we will be the light of the world. His love is that strong.

When I see God’s persevering heart, it makes me love Him more. It makes me want to be a better dog, er, make that a better daughter.  One day, both me and Lucy will get this whole attitude of gratitude thing down.  Everything good thing we have is a gift. Not a right, entitlement, or obligation.  It’s a gift from our good, good Father who uses a dog to love me into action.

Thanks to Lucy, I’m going to try a little more praise and a little less bark.

God rest you…

/ Jana / Leave a comment

I sit in a few quiet moments on Christmas break and ponder the treasures, thus far, of this year of Sabbath Rest. Each month, God has given a “word” that He has tutored, deposited, or unpacked for me. “Surrender, wisdom, abundance,” just to name a few. He has graciously told a story of how radically different life could look for us all.

As I sip on my first cup of coffee, “God rest ye merry gentlemen” simply floats through my mind. A half hour later, my brain whirring with Google searches, there is much about the original meaning of this great, old hymn: God make you merry, God give you joy… But I stop and listen to the Spirit, and the dots begin to connect further.

God rest you merry gentlemen

Let nothing you dismay

For Jesus Christ, our Saviour

Was born on Christmas Day.

 

God rest you. Is it not what we all secretly want in our stocking or better, in a huge box under our tree? Is it not what we labor and toil for? That one day, one magical day, we might have “enough” so that we can stop and rest? Do we not all long for a break in the mundane and meaningless, so that we might one day fully live out of this illusive but never ending hunger to live with meaning?

God rest you. How did God rest us? How did He bring the balm to our dismayed souls? For Jesus Christ was born.

Through Christ we enter into His rest (Hebrew 4:10) Not just not working. Not just heaven one day. But we are now able to enter into a wholly other way of doing life. God has himself given us His Peace. His Prince of Peace, in fact. With God, through Jesus, we are able to go through the same day to day turmoil and adventures, struggles and joys because there is something altogether different at work at our core. His rest.

God’s rest is available to us all.  Rest from fear, performance, production, striving, satisfaction, significance. Rest from loneliness, coping, hurting. But also rest TO enjoy, delight, consider, dream.

I see God revealing piece after tender piece of His heart and I’m frankly undone.

The Bible says, “Mary treasured these things in her heart.”  Take a moment to let God rest you. Treasure His rest in your heart. I find the ripple effect is His rest generates more joy, more gratefulness and even more faith.

God rest you merry gentle ones. Christ has overcome all that would dismay. O tidings of comfort and joy!