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Your God Stories: The Gift of a Name

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I love to tell women about how much God loves names. All through the Bible, He gives people names or changes their names. A new identity in Him.  Abram to Abraham. Sari to Sarah. Jacob to Israel. Simon to Peter. Saul to Paul. In Revelation 2:17, God says, “I will also give him a white stone with a new name written on it, known only to him who receives it.” Isaiah talks about it. Ezekiel talks about it. I mean, new names are  everywhere.  And better yet, He still does this. God has given each of us “a new name.”  A pet name between Him and us.  This new name is such a gift from Him. Affirmation of how He sees us.

So I frequently invite women to ask God to reveal their name. “Go ask Him to tell you what your  name is. Look up your name meaning. Watch for Him to tell you again and again until you believe it.”  Here are a couple of girls’ stories.

Jana,

So I went to the website that gave us our name meanings. They didn’t have my name listed. So I just gave up.

Well, God put it on my heart to look again somewhere else. He gave me its meaning: “Princess”!

That’s what he’s been calling me the last couple of months, but I wasn’t sure it was really from Him. I just thought that I would share that. 🙂 God is good.

~Tia

__________________________________________________________

Jana ~

I’ve been meaning to email you since last class, but finally am making time to do it. I just wanted to share a couple things that have been going on with me. I left class last week angry (as you mentioned might happen)! I basically half-a$$ed the exercise, got in my car, and cried the entire way home. I came to the realization that I feel like I don’t have TIME to breakdown. I don’t have TIME to think about all this heavy, emotional stuff. I don’t have TIME to be so completely broken which then makes me feel like I need to fix everything, take time for myself, etc. So instead, I’ll turn my head and be fine =) Right? Because that’s way easier!

There’s so many things I want to share with you – my ‘journey’ on value, being be-loved, recently this notion of affirmation – and I’m aware they all are connected. And I get overwhelmed thinking I need to conquer all of them at the same time since they are all staring me in the face.

I was sharing last night in my small group how I’ve somewhat acknowledged the fact that I don’t want to ‘go there’ with the Lord. I get this picture of someone taking tiny, tiny baby steps towards the ledge – not really wanting to peer over and see what’s on the other side, knowing I could be cheating myself from the beauty and freedom of the view.

For whatever reason, I’ve been meaning to look up the meaning of my name. I know we’ve touched on that a couple times during class, so I finally did it this morning. Wouldn’t you know this is what I found:

Jamie

Meaning: truthful

Verse: “Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart.” – Proverbs 3:3

Which is obviously the same context of scripture we talked about last night! Ah, I thought that was cool =) I also saw another version where they used the words kindness, trust, and mercy interchangeably with love and faithfulness. What website did you use when you looked up our names?

I’m way past my 3-sentence mark =) but wanted to share. Even though sometimes I don’t want to admit it, I know the Lord is working on my heart ever so slowly – or maybe it’s just that I’m ever so slowly starting to turn to Him.


The Seasons of Loss

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God is teaching me a lot about loss right now. Right here at Christmas, when the focus is on getting — getting gifts, getting decorations up, getting together with loved ones — I am living through different kinds of loss. Charis losing her front tooth. Losing my time. Losing a dog. Tucked into each of these losses are good lessons, but they are bittersweet.

Charis is now officially without two front teeth. I must be getting sentimental in my old age, but it marked more than being able to sing the “All I want for Christmas” song. She is growing up. The baby of her is almost gone. I looked at her and thought, “Childhood is passing so quickly.” And there is a spiritual picture in losing teeth — moving away from baby things to maturity, from temporary to permanent, from milk to solid foods. I am forced to ask: Am I investing in the days I have with her? I found myself praying, “Lord, help me to relish the moments. Help me to savor her as she lets go of childlike things, and to not miss these vanishing days.”

Birthdays, though wonderful, are a kind of loss to me. They mark a passage of time. I always do an evaluation of where my life is to date. What am I doing with my time? Am I moving forward in my life goals and dreams? Have I allowed another year to be sucked away by distractions and excuses? Now more than ever, I am seeing that my time is a gift. My energy and health are gifts. But they are like seeds that can only be sown in certain seasons. I don’t want to lose the seeds to neglect.

We had to put Pearl, our Great Dane, down. She was nine years old, which is old age for these gentle giants. But age didn’t ease the how, why, and when questions, the second-guessing, the wishful thinking. When your dog weighs 150+ lbs, your options are very limited. But her frailty didn’t lessen the bitter decision.  Finally, one day when Salem and I were both trying to lift Pearl up to help her outside and failing miserably, Charis’ voice hit home. “Mom, it’s just time. It’s time to put her down,” she said quietly. Just like that, I realized that my avoiding the moment wouldn’t stop the moment. The loss was inescapable.

We all went together as a family, by choice. We cried and prayed before we took her to the vet. We thanked the Lord for the years, for the great dog that she was. And again Charis’ voice cut through the fog. “Lord, it is just time to let Pearl go. Help us let her go. We love her. And we let her go back to You. Amen.”

The peace that transcends understanding flooded into my weeping heart. After it was over — the vet, the tears, Pearl’s last breaths escaping her body — I asked the Lord to show me the sweet of this bitter moment. And the sweet was in the weeping. We all came home and lay on our bed together and wept. It was the realness of the loss, the realness of the emotion, the realness of death that we needed to experience and be comforted in.

What makes gain so real, so beautiful, is when it laid up against loss. My heart knows joy better when it has known grief. A hungry belly appreciates a meal more than a well fed one. A father letting his son go off to war knows better than anyone the joy of his son’s return. Let God soften and comfort your heart in losses. He is an ever-present help in time of need.

Let Earth Receive Her King – Part III

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So through the surprise birthday bash, God has shown me that He can be trusted with the desires of my heart (Part 1), and that I have to learn to receive good from His hand through others (Part 2). And He is still revealing. So here is Part 3.

At the party, Chuck Spicka leaned over and whispered something in my ear and I looked at him wide-eyed and panicked.

It was the same reaction when Lyschel Burket made the announcement in the WGR class.

“We want to do Birthday Blessings for Jana.”

My body went into immediate shock: heart racing, pits sweating, hands clinching and feet positioned in the “Swim away, swim away” mode. To further the conflict, in my heart of hearts I did have honest desires, needs and wants. But I didn’t know how to approach our Giving God with hope and expectation for me personally and interact with the human race at the same time. I was in a pickle. Can’t run. Don’t want to miss it.

And then came the Birthday Blessings. If you are not familiar with it, it is a time each year to give words of thanks, blessing, and affirmation. We saw this sweet tradition acted out in the Michalik family and were so blown away by the beauty of loving words that we immediately began it our own family.

Here is how it works: family and friends each take a turn and tell the “Blessee” what they like, how they have been impacted, what they love about that person. One time a year to pour in grace and truth. It is so, so fun to do. I mean really, how often do you purposely take a few minutes and just tell someone that you are with on a daily or regular basis what you really love and appreciate? We are so impacted by others as we share life, but rarely tell them just how much their presence influences us.

Anyway. To do this with family and close friends is one thing. But doing it with a broader circle of friends is quite another. And did I mention that to be the “Blesser” is radically being different that being the “Blessee”? We just aren’t conditioned to receive praise and love like that. Well most of us aren’t. My youngest daughter on her birthday said, “Hey are you all done eatin’? I am ready to have my birthday blessings! Bring on the blessin’s!” But she is an unusual case. Or is it that she is the normal one, and the rest of us have just had all of the desire and need for affirmation beaten out of us…?

When it was all done at both events, my heart was swelling. If you knew how many years I had spent alone, or crying, or rejected. If you knew how many birthdays had passed by, just begging the Lord to bless me in the middle of my isolation, then you would know just how rich was that drink of water. It was amazing to hear these beautiful words pouring over me, washing me and watering me, all the while having an internal conversation with God at the same time.

“Steady,” He would say. “Steady, just receive.”
“But Lord, this is crazy. I feel so awkward. This is about you, not me,” I would protest.
“It is still about Me. I put that love in them, for you. I am loving you through them.”
“But what if they reject me later?”
“Jana, today, receive the gift of today,” He said.
When someone would say something that seemed over the top, putting me in too high of a position, I would flinch and object.
But He would whisper, “Just be loved. I will correct the course.”

Just be loved.

Chuck asked me what was the most important thing I had learned in my 48 years. (YES, I am 48!) I told him I have learned that the God life was easier than I had ever been taught. To receive His love, to believe I am loved by Him is the bottom line that changes everything. Every relationship, goal and problem. Just be loved.

Who knew? He did! The great Giving God who restored the years the locusts had eaten; Who makes all things new; Who is the Giver of new life, hope and healing. Oh earth, receive your King!!

Let Earth Receive Her King – Part II

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In Part I, I told you about how my crazy husband got me so, so good with a surprise birthday party. I began explaining all that the Lord had revealed through this one event in my life.   Here is Part II.

My first lesson was that I can trust God with the desires of my heart.  But the second and perhaps more important lesson is: Do I know how to accept gifts from Him when He sets out to fulfill my desires? Through my birthday extravaganza, the Lord showed me that I don’t really know how to receive from Him.  Let me explain.

I told you that my instinct was to run away from the gathering of loving friends.  In the middle of the night, I went back to the Lord to ask Him why.  He explained that as long as Jana was giving to someone else, Jana was fine. But when someone wanted to give TO ME, then my hard drive went haywire. Somewhere in my God belief system, my programming was distorted.  I believed to the extreme that “it is better to give than to receive.”  So much so that I felt guilty, selfish, even sinful if I was ever given something.  Not from God, you understand, but from other people. When other people tried to bless me, I felt vulnerable, undeserving, lacking.  Do you hear that worth bell tolling?

To clarify, this scripture about giving is specifically geared toward stewarding money. Yet this verse had been manipulated into a theological equation that totaled: giving, giving, giving.  Only it didn’t quite add up.

You see, Jesus has his own doctrine:
Love one another.
Love your neighbor as you love yourself.
Love as I have loved you.

Somewhere in His doctrine there must be recipients.  Somewhere there is a giver AND receiver. Just look at Christmas.  Look at the gleeful children so ready, eager and waiting to Receive their Christmas gifts.  God Himself says: “Unto you a child is born, unto you a Son is given.” We have to Receive the Child that has been given to us. Receive the life He gives to us. How powerful now is the refrain, “Joy to the world. The Lord is come. Let earth receive her King.”

At my surprise birthday party, I was going through card after home-made card.  Reading scriptures, pictures and stories of how God had connected my life to others and how we had all been changed.  We were gifts to each other.  Gifts to be received.  This wasn’t a one way street. This wasn’t a benevolent, unconnected exchange.  This was flesh and blood interactions.  It was God’s life poured out through our lives, into my life.  It was Emmanuel.  God with us.  In us, through us, for us….

So revelation number 2: To really experience the Christ life is to Receive Him, His love and gifts — especially as they come through the hands of others….

Let Earth Receive Her King – Part I

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Joy to the World, the Lord is come.  Let earth receive her King.

I have had a phenomenal revelation this weekend in the unlikely form of a Surprise Birthday Party. My ever clever husband conspired with my children (what restraint!) to have me, completely clueless, walk in to a room full of loving friends saying, “Surprise!”  My first response was shock. I stood there open-mouthed, dumbfounded and speechless. Which is a RARE condition for me. But my next responses were of embarrassment and the desire to run away. So I just sat down at the table and cried.  Overwhelmed and undone.

It was a great, great night, with home-made cards and words of love and blessing. As I looked around the table, I kept shaking my head thinking, “I can’t believe all this is for me.”  My cup was indeed running over with thankfulness.

But at 3:30 in the morning, I had to get back up and process with the Lord. Why did I want to run away? Why was I so embarrassed? Why did I feel so guilty over being the recipient of such love and affection?

His answers were astounding.  As usual.  Over the next 24 hours, He began whispering truths into my heart.  Truths about desires, design and receiving His goodness.

So in this first of several blogs, let me give you some background. During the day on Saturday, I had been whining. I was really in a wad about my birthday plans or lack thereof (so I thought). Not one to be overly sentimental about my own birthday, I surprised myself and Chuck with shooting down his plans for our night out:

“No I don’t want to drive the kids out to my mom’s, then drive back west for dinner.”
“No, I don’t want to dress up.”
“We’re only going to Macaroni Grill because you like it.”
“This is stupid, it doesn’t matter, let’s just stay home with the kids and I’ll make dinner.”

Fortunately, Chuck had enough self control to NOT blurt out, “You need to get dressed because I am going to have a surprise party for you, and the kids have to go to your mom’s because all the other people to babysit will  be at YOUR party at Macaroni Grill!”  So glad he resisted that temptation.

But I was still whining. I went outside and told the Lord, “I am just really under attack. I don’t even know what’s wrong with me. Help me to just calm down and be thankful for whatever comes.” But the Lord very quietly asked me, “What do you want?” I said, “Nothing.”

And as soon as I said “nothing,” I wanted to laugh out loud. Because if I wanted “nothing” then what was the whining about? So I ‘fessed up that I wanted to have a heartfelt card from Chuck; that I wanted to feel special but didn’t want to have to ask for it.  That I just wanted to be loved on…. But instead of softening my heart, those thoughts hardened my  heart. I recalled past times of dashed hopes and disappointments. There was no cheese down that hole.

So I concluded my time with the Lord with a grown-up white knuckling version of “that stuff doesn’t matter, and I need to be thankful and not complain.”

How funny that the Lord already knew the desires of my heart, even the unspoken ones, and already had a plan that I knew Nothing about. And how funny that I was tormenting Chuck and all the while he was trying to bless me… How crazy that just hours later, I had the first surprise party of my life and handmade cards telling me how well loved I was. How funny, how crazy, how God….

So for today, I want to end with revelation number one: I can trust God with the desires of my heart. He has plans for me that I know Nothing about.  And, He loves surprises as much as I do….


Your God Stories: Just Swallow

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I get so many God stories, stories of how He interrupts our “normal” life with his “supernatural” life, that I decided to start sharing them!

Please don’t think that these stories indicate that someone “has it all together.” Read them to see how God loves speaking our individual languages and how He enjoys being with us.  He is the ultimate pursuer!

Ok, so this was my AMAZING story of the day. I was sitting at work thinking about all of this stuff in my life that sucks, especially being sick.  And Jesus just said to me: Bethany, remember when you were a little girl and your mom would give you cough syrup? It tasted awful so what did you do?  You just held it in your mouth. You would never swallow the stuff.  All you would have to do is swallow and not only would the taste go away but also it would make you well! Bethany, swallow!  If you just swallow all this stuff, (all the bad tasting stuff going on in my life right now: the no boyfriend, the being sick all the time, the money,etc) I will use it to make your heart well! Just swallow!

Isn’t that amazing!!!! I love that! I love how good He is. That is just the coolest metaphor! And it makes so much sense.

So…I don’t feel like it. Because I’m still a little bitter about it, to be honest. But I’m going to swallow, because I want to be well! I hope this makes sense to you, because it speaks volumes to me!!! Anyway, I’m just so excited I had to tell someone. I told this guy here at work and he couldn’t get past the first sentence of “Guess what Jesus just told me!” He just kept saying, “Jesus talks to you?!” Haha.

Ok, Love you,

Bethany

Trees Without Christmas?

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Now here is a sad statement of the day.

Everywhere we go, people are saying “Happy Holidays” for fear of intolerance or offending.  Or they are being pure spiritual wimps. Yet we are still selling Christmas trees.  I mean seriously, where are the militant atheists when you need them? Where are the political, historical scrubbers who try to erase any sign of religious freedom in our country?  Are they taking naps? This is a pretty serious oversight…

(Deep breath.)  Is anyone else chaffed by this duplicity in our culture?  If we are not going to SAY Christmas then why are we still SELLING Christmas?  I mean, let’s just drop the whole day altogether if we aren’t going to have the freedom to call it what it is.  Now hear me, I happen to love unbelievers and folks of other faiths.  I spent a large part of my life in that belief system.  But the last time I checked, neither they nor I were the authorities on what Christians could and could not do.  If I didn’t believe in Jesus, then I didn’t participate.  Today however, for non-believers to tell me what can and cannot be said around my Holy Day is ridiculous.  At the very least, if you want to make money off it, then you should have to at least call it the same name I do.

I don’t believe in Halloween, Santa or the Easter Bunny, but I don’t try to move legislation to silence those things.  Christmas is a religious holiday, part of our religious heritage.

Can you imagine trying to pull off this heresy in a Muslim culture?

So you know what we are doing as a family?  We are wishing every single store teller, Salvation Army ringer, and restaurant server, “Merry Christmas.”  No matter what they say, we are singing it out.  It is a simple act of faith, but a stand for God nonetheless.  No matter what their reactions are, we smile and bless them anyway. Why?

Because that’s what the angels said that glorious day.  Without fear, without shame, they declared the good news in a world just as hostile to the Messiah as ours is today.

“Go tell it on the mountain, that Jesus Christ is born.”  Merry Christmas.

Christmas Red

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I am sitting tonight by the last embers of our first official fire. The first fire kind of marks the beginning of winter in our family so it is a big deal, at least to us. I love watching it blaze bright yellow-orange then transition into varying shades of reds. And as I sit mesmerized by the fire, changing before my very eyes, I am remembering our first night in Charleston.

It was truly one of those moments when you didn’t want to blink or breathe for fear of missing something supernatural. There was a sunset, which is always beautiful at the beach. But moments after the sun had gone down, the sky turned a vibrant red – so red that the water in the marshes and the ocean reflected red. Not pink, but red. Blood red.

The thought came to me, “The world is covered in blood.” We were on historic ground, where much blood had been shed, that of native Americans, soldiers in the War for Independence and in the Civil War battles. Thinking of the sacrifice of wars, I felt this grateful grief come over me. They died that I might have freedom.

The expanse of the red sky was so great that the whole landscape was covered. Any place that there was water – the intercoastal, the beach, small inlets – it looked like great pools of blood. I sat there breathless in awe. I heard it again: “The world is covered in blood.”

And it hit me. “All of creation groans for the sons (and daughters) to be revealed.” Creation was groaning and reflecting the greatest sacrifice, reminding us of the Blood that was shed for the whole world. The blood that has truly set me free.

After this vivid picture, I notice the color red seems a little more dear to me this Christmas. More than a merry color, it helps me remember the “why” of the season, by His stripes we are healed. So this Christmas, think red.

God Speaks In Funny Places

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Just in case you think hearing from God is crazy. . . . It is, but it is also wonderful.  I love how creative He is in talking to us.  And I love how if you ask, seek and knock, He will answer, find and open!  

This year has been one of birthing and refining a vision.  I have been asking, “What exactly are God’s plans for me, for WGR, for the ministry?”  And so every couple of weeks He speaks in more power, more clarity, more truth.  Here is the latest download from Him.

As we were taking in the new city sites, I was just praying and thinking.  Here is a conversation that happened, all through billboards, each one building on the other.

The question from me was, “Lord, tell me again what we are doing?”

His answer was the following:

Masters Inn.

Grace.  (Read that: Masters in grace.)

I believe.  (Complete with butterfly photo!)

Dedicated people, Dedicated energy.

It’s amazing what we can do together.

A glimmer of hope in a needy world.

We raise ambition.

Be one.

We know women.

 We do things a bit differently.

I believe.

Thank You, Lord, for Your presence.  For Your mysterious ways of
interrupting our lives.  Thank You for speaking and making known the
paths of life.  Amen.

Decisions

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“We tend to become the decisions we make. The more we choose something, the more we become that something. We are all in the process of solidifying our identities by the decisions we make. With each decision we make, we pick up momentum in the direction of the decision.” Greg Boyd

Page 51, Letters from a Skeptic, a Son Wrestles with His Father’s Questions about Christianity
by Dr. Gregory Boyd and Edward Boyd

Isn’t this a powerful truth? Don’t you see this everywhere, inside the church and out? The Bible says, “The tongue has the power of life and death; ” “where your treasure is your heart will be;” “if the eye is full of light the whole body will be light.”

I am reading this powerhouse book, Finding your Strongest Life, by Marcus Buckingham and it really twists your head around how and why we do what we do. It seems like the Lord is bringing this over-arching message to me, to us, about the intention of our focus, the power of our decisions. Intention doesn’t mean a happy ending. It just means that we will reap what we sow. The spiritual harvest comes from living out of the belief, “as a man thinks in his heart, so is he.” Whatever you think, is what you is.

The Bible says that “David said in his heart…” That particular decision led him into months of murder and destruction for the enemy as he pretended to have joined their ranks. It also says that “Daniel purposed in his heart” that he would not defile himself with the king’s food. Both of these men made decisions, focused their intentions with radically different outcomes.

So where are your thoughts these days? What decisions about your life are you choosing? Or refusing to choose? Because you know, the absence of a decision is still your decision.

And to flip the coin, dwell on God’s decision about you. You are loved. You are lovely. You are His handiwork, created in advance to do good works. He loves to think about you and brag on all the two of you will do together. He has made His Decision about you. He chose you forever.

waiting room
by shane barnard

i will run when i cannot walk
i will sing when there is no song
i will pray when there is no prayer
i will listen when i cannot hear

sitting in the waiting room of silence
waiting for that still soft voice i know
offering my words up to the rooftop to Your heart
trusting that this closet’s where You are

Lord i know if i change my mind
You will change my heart in time
Sovereign Lord this time’s from You
so i sit in the waiting room of silence
cause its all about You

i will fight when i cannot feel
i will trust when You don’t seem real
i will tell when i cannot speak
i will step when i cannot see