A Woman’s Place

Submission. Are we really still gnawing away on this bone? This conversation recently warranted space in the Knoxville News Sentinel and Tennessean newspaper. Wonder why? Unless. Unless possibly we talk about it because there is still no unity of the Spirit.

Few people in believing circles discuss the crucifixion or resurrection. Why not? Perhaps, because there is sufficient evidence and sufficient unity of the Spirit that we believe by faith.  But submission often unsettles the spirit. Is this just a case of female rebellion?

Here is the irony.  When Chuck and I talked last night, he said, “Jana you can’t even write about submission because you don’t have a penis. So you will just sound like a woman who is ‘not in submission.’” How sad but how true.

I did note in the article that the woman who favored submission was a pastor. Now that’s a trick. She is qualified to lead God’s people, but she cannot co-lead with her husband.

I remember a conversation with a 77 year-old woman who didn’t understand my strain over this issue. After 50 plus years of marriage, their policy was for her to share her thoughts with her husband and he would make the final decision.

“Says who?” I asked respectfully. “If the Spirit truly leads us, then why does ‘someone have to make the final decision?’ Isn’t that His job?”

I told her that if my husband and I disagree, we wait. We wait on the Spirit to reveal our hearts. And then one or both of us would have better understanding of what caused the divide and one or both would shift as necessary. Then the Spirit would lead us to make decisions jointly. We were both stronger and closer because of it, not only to each other but to the Lord as well.

“Sometimes you have to make a decision quickly,” she challenged.

“The Holy Spirit has never been late one time,” I said.

I love men. I love mutual submission out reverence to Christ.  But this is more than who is “in charge.” This is God’s story. In the beginning male and female were to co-rule. (Genesis 1 and 5) It has always been His plan. His plans have not changed.

Let’s stop to clarify the status of us modern Western women. You have only been able to vote since 1920. For not yet 100 years has your voice been heard. Only when men realized that women were voting did they deem women worthy of educating.

Since the fall there has been an overwhelming attack against the image of a woman (and man). You only have to research the devastation globally to see this is true. Can you swallow your Western sensitivities enough to hear that some men in other countries “biblically” beat their wives if they don’t submit?

But God. His overarching story is the redemption of the broken, power-based mentality of men and the redemption of the broken, silent-victim mentality of women. He has completed this through Christ. And now we are invited to walk as co-heirs with Christ, made in His Image, led by His loving Spirit.

Let’s stop acting like empowering men means for women to fall silent behind them. The objective is Husband and Wife rest in His loving embrace.

For the brave of heart:

I want to blow this topic way, way out and offer some piercing questions:

  • What did Jesus mean that we are co-heirs with Him? Is this for men only?
  • Who was Jesus talking about when he said has come to “set the captives free”? Does that mean everyone but women?
  • What do you do with men who say submission scriptures have been largely misinterpreted by men for centuries?
  • What does it mean that Christ is the head? How many heads do we need?

Take these back to scripture and to the Spirit who leads us in all truth. Listen to what He says rather than defend what you already think.

Can I Get an A-Men??

Let me just praise the name of Jesus.  Yesterday I found out that one location for the WGR class was a “no.”  So I just thanked the Lord for answering the question and told Him I would wait on where we were to be. I made one call and spent the rest of the time praying and asking others to pray too.

Today on my calendar is the name of God: Jehovah Jireh, The Lord Will Provide.

Inspired by the name,  I spent the morning reading about the story of faith between Abraham and God. Could Abraham trust God? Could God trust Abraham?  I lifted up a prayer that I would be as steadfast in my faith as Abraham, holding nothing back from the Lord. Later in the day, I got a return call and our new location is set up, like a breeze.  No problem, no issue.

But right after the “Yes” came through, so did the financial numbers. And just as the praise  left my tongue, the questions started rolling out…how are we going do that? No, how are You gonna do that?

I go to church tonight and what is first song?  “Oh, I run into your arms, the riches of your love will always be enough…”

Oh the tenderness, the depth, the wisdom, the faithfulness of God. I don’t have to have a how. I have a Who!!

Jesus and Pooh

Chuck is investing in Charis’ reading skills. To do so, they were going to begin a “chapter” book (which is a big deal in third grade) and take turns reading aloud. Chuck suggested Winnie the Pooh but Charis adamantly refused, saying that book was for babies.

We were surprised by this reaction because the original story, as opposed to the videos, is beautifully written with great insight and challenging human dynamics. Yes, I said Winnie the Pooh. But her frame of reference is the modern Pooh cartoons that do not always capture the brilliance of author, A.A. Milne.

Anyway, Chuck suggested that he read the first chapter out loud and if she still didn’t want that book, then they would find another. Complete with voices and beautiful “Pooh-isms,” Chuck carried Charis away to the 100 Acre Wood. At the end of the first chapter, he began closing the book but Charis quickly protested. “One more chapter, Dad, please?”

The plan worked and the adventure continued for days. But really, the goal was for Charis to be strengthened as she read alone.

On Saturday we all grabbed books to take to the pool. Charis milled around and then grabbed Winnie the Pooh. Chuck and I smiled at each other. Success. Chuck praised her for being such a good reader and they exchanged inside jokes about their shared reading.

It was such a fleeting moment but it rang in my soul. God has such good stuff for us but we have dulled our taste buds for His original story with our modern day cartoons. Yet undeterred, Jesus entices and pulls us in and whisks us away on an adventure. All the while, Holy Spirit is working, lovingly working on some weakness in us so that we might be stronger. And when we trust Him, listen and follow His example, when we allow ourselves to be swept away, then we find ourselves doing more than we thought we could. And what does God do? He praises us. He encourages us onward, forward, deeper.  What a God! What a Father, Savior, Friend!

“Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. “Pooh?” he whispered.
“Yes, Piglet?”
“Nothing,” said Piglet, taking Pooh’s hand. “I just wanted to be sure of you.”

You Are Worth It.

I know you know this. But, I am saying it again. As long as you are trying to “do” something to get your worth, you will be miserable, exhausted, disappointed.  And worse, you will be demanding. Demanding on you and the people in your life.

You know why? Because you demand that they “do” for you to make you happy, pleased, satisfied. Performance is really a subtle form of pride, because the lie is you somehow “add” to your status by your own works.

Worth is a fact. No, better, worth is a truth. Fact is something we humans have figured out through science or study. Truth is divine. It is originates in heaven and smells of heaven. Truth is a person.

So when you talk about “your worth,” what you actually need is for Truth (Jesus) to make known what He values. Your response? Faith to believe what He says.

You cannot have worth apart from Christ. Can a clay pot, or field, or piece of gold, have any value apart from the shaper of the clay, the planter of the field, the finder and refiner of the gold?

Your actions do not determine your worth. Quite the contrary. The more you soak in just how much God values you, just how much Jesus paid to be with you, just how much the Spirit is working with you, in you, the more you see that your definiton is quite “apart” from your efforts.

You is. You have. You are. You don’t have to “do” to prove anything because Jesus “did” already. He’s already proved who you are and your worth.

He is already happy, pleased, and satisfied with you. Right now. No matter what you have done or will do. It is settled in His mind. And, unlike humans, He is not swayed.

“There is no shadow of turning with Thee.”

Performance is not the answer. Jesus the person is your definition, your solace and ultimately your freedom. Once you get that you have the Heavenly Worth of Christ, no one can take it from you. THIS truth is what changes what you do, how you do, why you do.

Where is your face?

I am not always a big fan of the book of Job. He had some pretty lousy friends who gave really crappy counsel. But as is the way of God, tucked in every messy relationship is a revelation of God, and a revelation of ourselves. Don’t even ask how I ended up at this passage. But it really hit me. I went back and read it in several translations.

Here is my take on it:

When we try to do it our way, then what we grasp and strive for is meaningless. Our impact on the world is very small. But when we do life God’s way, with Him as the source, the reward, the goal, the pleasure, then all of life is changed, not only our lives, but the lives of those around us.

“Give in to God, come to terms with him
and everything will turn out just fine.
Let him tell you what to do;
take his words to heart.
Come back to God Almighty
and he’ll rebuild your life.
Clean house of everything evil.
Relax your grip on your money
and abandon your gold-plated luxury.
God Almighty will be your treasure,
more wealth than you can imagine.
You’ll take delight in God, the Mighty One,
and look to him joyfully, boldly.

Job 22:21-26 The Message

Look at the actions required. Give in. Let Him tell you. Come back and He will rebuild. Clean house. Relax your grip and abandon. Take delight. And look to him.

Do you ever find yourself stuck in those Not Yet seasons? You know something in on the horizon but it’s not here yet?

Or you are poised in one of those Ready to Launch phases?

Or, perhaps, God has already Released you but you are not doing what He said?

Be faithful. Do what He tells you. Clean house. Let go of your notions about money and treasure. Delight in the Lord first and foremost. Turn your face toward Him. Not toward yourself. Not your pride or problems. Not someone else to “rescue” you. Just face him.

In one of the translations, the word God is Shaddai. How funny. That means All Sufficient. Lacking nothing. Looking to God is more than passive Jesus talk. It is intently listening and doing whatever He says.  There you find delight. And so does He.

 21 “Yield now and be at peace with Him;
Thereby good will come to you.
22 “Please receive instruction from His mouth
And establish His words in your heart.
23 “If you return to the Almighty, you will be restored;
If you remove unrighteousness far from your tent,
24 And place your gold in the dust,
And the gold of Ophir among the stones of the brooks,
25 Then the Almighty will be your gold
And choice silver to you.
26 “For then you will delight in the Almighty
And lift up your face to God. NASB

 

 

Okay, Enough Already!

Do you ever just get knocked down by the world and its ridiculous attacks? Are you ever just shocked at how big  and how deep the Lie goes about the Value of a Woman?

I don’t know whether to cry, scream or throw up. When the first offer and photo came through my email, I tried to stuff the outrage down.  And now the email offer has resurfaced. But instead of it being a onesy thing now it is a GROUP thing. Classes of women groping and balancing. What am I so pissed about?

Pole dancing classes. Are you kidding me???  Do we not have enough porn shoved down our throats without trying to mimic the deception even more? Are you not already tired enough of trying to keep up with the world’s faulty concept of beauty?  The dieting, the surgery, the self-loathing? The comparison, the envy, the jealousy that leads to even more harmful acting out?

Really women? Really? Is this our sum total?

Does this woman’s posture do anything but reduce us to body parts for consumption? Ask most men to look at this photo, or better have him recall a time on film or DVD when he watched pole dancing,  and see if women grinding to poles makes him rise to anything remotely holy….
I am all about a woman being and feeling healthy and assured of her own worth. I am all about the “wow” factor of the female race. I am all about blow-the-house-down great sex. But I am also 100% convinced that women who try to imitate porn stars (women and men who are in need themselves of rescuing) look to the wrong source for inspiration and definition.  The women I talk to don’t need help being “sexed”. We need help being loved and cherished and adored for who we are, not just for the way we contort our frames around steel.
Is anybody hearing me? Did anyone even flinch when this offer came through?
We were watching a harmless movie with Salem and they snuck in a 30-second clip of pole dancing and men gawking. Her natural disgust and shock was immediate. “What is that?” she asked incredulous.  “Men and women wasting their strength and beauty on empty sex.” I said.   “Gross.” said the 13-yr-old.

Yep. It’s gross.

Women, what we need is how to tap into the real beauty, the passion, the fire that God has for us. In this place of true intimacy, we don’t feel like objects. We feel valued and enjoyed by our Maker. Then we can move to share that with our husbands. But we don’t create intimacy by imitating prostitutes.
“The man and woman were both naked and they felt no shame.”

Deep Breath. And Believe.

This is too rich to not share. Charis was playing with 5-yr-old Laila. The younger was teaching the elder gymnastic tumbles. And after Charis’ first or second Unsuccessful Attempt, Laila asked emphatically, “Did you take a deep breath? Did you believe?”

It seems the first basic step before feet are lifted off the floor is: Deep breath. Believe you can do it.

Are you getting this as much as I am? I am believing God for big things. So are many of my friends. God has given us a YES but we still have to walk it out. We still have to run across the mat and Jump. And when we fall over in an awkward mess this is a great reminder. Take a deep breath. Breath Him in deep down. And Believe you can do it. He can do it. He can do it through you.

And keep on doing it.

The funny thing is, Charis has not said one word about quitting. She sees the goal. And she knows, with enough practice, and coaching, and breaths and belief, she can do it.

Do you?

So what are YOU waiting for?

There is lots of flux around me right now. Lots of dreams, lots of plans and at the same time lots of gaping holes. I have pieces missing, people moving away, plans falling through and I am watching in wonder as what I worked and hoped would happen simply fizzle out to nothing. So now what?

Sound familiar? What do we do in the waiting?

I noticed when everything started unraveling I took a deep breath and evaluated what I did know.

1) I know God loves me and only has good for me.
2) I know that I am not quitting just because it got harder than it already was.
3) I know that God never goes back on His word so somehow this change in course is going to get me closer to His plan.
4) I know that waiting on Him is the safest, smartest, healthiest thing I can do.

I realize now this is a pretty great place to be. Waiting sucks. But Jesus is better. Better than running ahead, running away, running crazy. And just to top off the day today, in the middle of the waiting, He gave me this passage:

Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; he rises to show you compassion. For the Lord is the God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him! Isaiah 30: 18

Are you resting in the truth that God longs to be gracious, giving and good for you? Are standing in the one truth that you will be blessed if you will but wait on Him alone?  Not waiting  on the perfect outcome, or getting your way, or happy endings…but waiting on Him. Alone.

Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord.  Selah.

The meter is ticking…

I had told Charis “yes” a hundred times on those rides and crazy car buggies in the grocery store. (What crazy person thought of those anyway? Have you ever tried to drive one full of groceries??) But I had told her “no” a thousand times.

Not today.  I’m in a hurry.  Next time.

Imagine my horror when I finally said “yes” and she was too big for the car. She had outgrown it. The window had closed. Just like that.

I thought I would burst into tears. Fortunately the Lord provided a “bigger car”  so she did in fact get to ride. But the shock that both of us felt has imprinted on my mind. Had I really chosen best? Had everyone, everything else been more important that enjoying my child enjoy be a child?

What all am I missing by rushing around? How many windows are closing while I am checking off boxes?

This is a microcosm of our lives.  Are we really doing the important? Are we really focusing on the now? Are really seeing and living our lives, or are we in some self -made perpetual fog. Whether the fog is worry or striving, denial or laziness, dreaming or planning, are we focusing on the people and purpose of what God has placed right in front of us?

I don’t feel beat up or condemned. I feel supremely grateful for the wake up call.

Childhood has an expiration date. But life has one too. Live your life. Full out without excuses and quitting. Push hard to absorb and enjoy every season, obstacle and blessing. Breathe deep. God is in the details.

It is not the goal or destination we will remember. But the moment by moment living on the way.

Let the peace of Christ keep you in tune with each other, in step with each other. None of this going off and doing your own thing. And cultivate thankfulness. Let the Word of Christ—the Message—have the run of the house. Give it plenty of room in your lives. Instruct and direct one another using good common sense. And sing, sing your hearts out to God! Let every detail in your lives—words, actions, whatever—be done in the name of the Master, Jesus, thanking God the Father every step of the way.

Colossians 3:15-17 The Message