Because I know you are out there…
I know that every time you even hear the words “pro life” or “abortion” or “pro choice” you get a pit in your stomach, or lump in your throat, or rush of fear, anger or regret in your heart.
Your worst fear is to be found out. Your deepest desire is to be forgiven, finally. You wrestle with what your parents, pastor, boyfriend, husband, friends said before and after your decision. Or what they would say if they only knew…
You replay the day. Over and over.
You flinch at babies. Or you long for a baby.
You can’t stop crying. Or you can’t stop raging.
You can’t stop hating yourself. Or the father, or person who pressured you, even if that person was you.
You can’t even think about heaven. Because what on earth will you say to your child?
And then there is God…how could he love you now?
Even churches act like your choice is too bad, too big for God’s mercy. Will God punish you forever?
Do Christians even care about the scared, trapped pregnant woman or just the baby?
Sisters (brothers), God’s grace is greater than all our sin. It truly does wash us white as snow. When we sing “Jesus paid it all” it means He paid for that day in the clinic as well. Not partially, or conditionally, but it is completely covered by His redeeming love.
I pray you will have the courage to begin the journey to freedom. One of the steps to my own healing was to talk about it. I had to open the door to let the shame and fear out but also to let His breath of cleansing freedom in. God led me to a grace-filled believers who really, really understood the Power of the cross. They spoke truth over me that Jesus came to save the world not to condemn it. (Thank you Nan Sprouse and Pat Gilley.) They cried with me. They grieved with me. They loved me with the eternal Love of Jesus.
Look at John 3:16-18 with fresh eyes:
“This is how much God loved the world: He gave his Son, his one and only Son. And this is why: so that no one need be destroyed; by believing in him, anyone can have a whole and lasting life. God didn’t go to all the trouble of sending his Son merely to point an accusing finger, telling the world how bad it was. He came to help, to put the world right again.
The gospel of Jesus, His desire to make the world whole applies to you. You are not disqualified. You are not cast out. You are not unlovable or unforgivable.
Truly, as the song says, “God renders miracles of our sin.”
For the wounded ones of the abortion battle…Your child is with God but you are still here with us. I pray that God will lead you to people that will love you into freedom.