women getting real

Take a Breath, by Guest Blogger, Beth Hungerford

/ Jana / 1 Comment

The Lord gave me a really cool spiritual picture.  Jana was talking to me about sin issues and how when we have a break-through that it’s like God is bringing us up for air and letting us take a breath before we have to go back down and keep working through the issue.  In other words, we are not done; He’s just giving us a breath and a sense of making progress.

Here is the picture He gave me.  We were playing water polo during swim practice several summers ago.  Brittany, my very fun and extremely competitive coach, was on the other team.  I was having a great game and had scored 2 or 3 times practically unguarded.  Brittany was getting frustrated that no one was defending me so she switched from offense to defense.  The next time I got the ball she wrapped her arms around me from behind so tightly and completely that I couldn’t move and plunged me under the water in hopes that I would let go of the ball.  After a few moments she brought me back up said, “Take a breath,” and immediately dunked me right back under.  This is such a strong picture for me of what Jana was talking about.

As I thought about it more the Lord clarified it a little making a distinction.  Brittany was taking me under trying to get me to give up and stop fighting whereas the Lord’s goal is for us to be free and have a deeper and closer walk with Him.  He lets us struggle until we are ready to give up and then brings us up for air to let us catch our breath and says, “Ok you ready? You are stronger now and you can hold your breath longer so this time we are going in deeper and it’s going to be even more amazing.”

This goes for more than just sin issues.  I need to remember this the next time I find myself having to deal with something I thought I had already worked through.  We weren’t done, He was just giving me a breath.

Sugar or Blood?

/ Jana / 1 Comment

There are a few things that really get my knickers in a knot.  And the easter bunny is in the top three.  When it comes to honoring, loving, enjoying, and celebrating the Holy Days, I get pretty steamed by cheap counterfeits. Now with Christmas, I can hold my head just right and see some value in the story of St. Nick, aka Santa. He was a man who loved Jesus and loved others in His name.  Sure “Santa” has been sanitized of any God truth, but the origins are noble. Don’t misunderstand, I don’t like Santa either. He is a pointless distraction from the Birth of God.  But the easter bunny is not only ridiculous, it is blasphemous.

Let me explain.  The bunny is a symbol of fertility, as in to mate in the same way rabbits do.  With speed and frequency, resulting in many offspring. Doesn’t this sound, I don’t know, holy? The egg is a symbol of new life. You take a sperm and an egg, and voila’ you have new life.

However, this is not the story of Jesus, the the Slain and Risen Lamb of God.  In His life, from virgin birth to brutal death and miraculous resurrection, sex is not the issue. Creating life is not the issue. Procreation has been giving to humankind and the animal kingdom. 

More than new life, Jesus was the Lamb chosen for slaughter for the Passover meal. It was His blood that was posted on our door frames so that the angel of death might pass over us.  And when He was killed, it was not candy and colored eggs we received, but the access into the Holy of Holies. Communion with God because the veil was torn.

In the empty tomb, we don’t see “new life.” This is not merely life created by human effort, or animal instinct. This isn’t a maternity ward.  This is a Miracle.  The Holy Dead was resurrected. Jesus was brought from death to life.   And with His resurrection comes all our hope and joy of life from now through all eternity.

What has the easter bunny ever done for us, or our children, but make us fat and satisfied with a sugary delusion?  It is not fun, not harmless. It is a false idol. No more, no less.

“To Tell the Old, Old Story”

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It has become for us like putting up the Christmas Tree, only at Easter Time.

We take out and unwrap each piece that we have made or gathered. And as we do, we reflect on its specific contribution to the greatest story ever told.  There is a donkey with yarn fur. A clay bowl. A paper Jesus with red crayon marks on His hands and feet.  And more. We call it the “Resurrection Scene” and we put it on display a few weeks before Easter. Why?  Because it became absurd to us that we would spend so much time and money to “deocrate and celebrate” the coming of Christ, and not “decorate and celebrate” His death and resurrection. For without these two events, Jesus was just a baby.

This year we are making a scurge. It was Salem’s suggestion because she has been studying armor and medieval weaponry for years. But I am watching to see what the Holy Spirit does in her heart, as her hands create a weapon like that which ripped the flesh of her Lord.  Our Lord.  Ripped for us. “By His stripes we are healed.”

And now, just for review… someone tell me what on earth the easter bunny has to do with this beautiful story?  What can candy and a farcical absurd notion of rabbits laying eggs possibly add to the power and awe of our sins being washed away by the blood of the Lamb?

What could be more “magical” than a dead man being raised back to life? How great our joy.

As Heather Says, “Simmah Dahn Nah.”

/ Jana / 3 Comments

Translation: Simmer down now.

Not sure this isn’t beating a dead horse, but I want to circle back around on the blogs from last week. There was a lot of concern/instruction about my upset on the pregnant question. Thank you. And tons of concern about the offending woman. Thank you.

But I want to clarify that wasn’t about her. If I didn’t make that clear, let me repeat. It was about me and the Lord. As my friend Lyschel said, “she just happened to be the person who delivered the blow to the piece of the dam that loosed some stuff for you.” Amen. And the irritation of the moment was worth the revelation from God later.

However, glossing over the irritation, or denying it, or padding it, might not have resulted in the same revelation. Why were we so concerned about even broaching the topic? Is the idea of offending so off limits? Is it un-Christian? Is our every conversation to be without emotional upset?

Do you think Jesus offended people?

I am quite sure He did. In fact I think God purposely blows us up emotionally to get to our heart. Just like He did me last week. It is okay to be offended. It is okay to be angry. It is okay to express all of that. The better question is what do we DO in the that moment.

It is also okay for us to learn grace, to learn how to speak the truth in difficult moments. What if we were not talking about social faux pas, but life and death issues: porn, abortion, eating disorders? What then? I think there will be all kinds of sparks flying in those conversations.

In my first blog on this topic, I said, “Grace is not the same as silence.” I chose silence that day, because I lacked grace. And in my human observation, we don’t get to grace without practice. We learn it, one difficult encounter at a time. He doesn’t waste anything. I am so glad.

I don’t think God’s goal is for us to”be nice.”  I think His goal is that we”speak the truth in love.”  And then gives us a lifetime to practice.

A Timely Word Aptly Spoken

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On a very soggy, groggy morning, my friend sent me this great devotion. It was exactly what I needed. But of course, God already knew that didn’t He? That is why He stirred her to act and why I am so blessed that she listened.

It reminded me of a story my friend Mary K. told last night.  She was really sick and God prompted a friend to call her. And the friend did.  Mary K. could hardly speak for holding back the tears as she told the class how much that one gesture of kindness, that one act of her friend responding to the Holy Spirit’s tug, reassured Mary K. that God knew how much she was suffering and He cared.

Remember God is always working for our good. Even if it hurts. Be encouraged today. And better yet, if the Holy Spirit prompts you to love on someone today, please do. It may make all the difference.

March 16th
“It is good that you recognize your weakness.  That keeps you looking to Me, your Strength.  Abundant life is not necessarily health and wealth; it is living in continual dependence on Me.  Instead of trying to fit this day into a preconceived mold, relax and be on the lookout for what I am doing.  This mindset will free you to enjoy Me and to find what I have planned for you to do.  This is far better than trying to make things go according to your own plan. 

Don’t take yourself so seriously.  Lighten up and laugh with Me.  You have Me on your side, so what are you worried about?  I can equip you to do absolutely anything, as long it is My will.  The more difficult your day, the more I yearn to help you.  Anxiety wraps you up in yourself, trapping you in your own thoughts.  When you look to Me and whisper My Name, you break free and receive My help. 

Focus on Me, and you will find Peace in My Presence.”

Philippians 4:13; Proverbs 17:22

“Jesus Calling” Devotions for every day of the year by Sarah Young.

Ready, Set, Zim!

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We had our first meeting for Zimbabwe last night and I am FIRED UP.

After hearing stories from others who had already gone and are going again, and after watching a video of the needs, I was undone. Because of AIDS, there are two groups of people: old people and and children – from infants to teens. So few parents, no leadership, no hugs, no training. Here is a country starving to death in more ways than one: spiritually, economically, socially, physically.

An old folks home where the patients don’t even have matching shoes.
Homes where grandfathers and uncles want 12, 13, 14 year old girls to prostitute so they can eat.

What do you do with that?

Salem is 12. I hear those stories and I look at her. I try to think of how bad life would have to get for me to be willing lay her in the arms of a stranger for money.  How could I get to the place of desperation that I would do that to my own flesh and blood?

Here is a place where babies are abandoned on the road. Some kind soul brings them to the hospital but once they get there, what next? There is no family to hold or soothe. The orphanages are full. There is no room in the inn.

What do you do with that?

Then there are pockets of whites who have been so hurt and betrayed by the government seizure of their land and livelihood, and they are so bound up by religious legalism that they are shut down, paranoid, lost.

What do you do with that?

You pour forth the name of Jesus like ointment.

What they need, what we need, is the supernatural.  It hit me last night as I was listening. Perhaps, we have been deceived. What do we bank on? When there is no government program to turn to, no store to buy from, no money to withdraw from the bank, we need something beyond our own control, something “altogether other.” These people far away, are like us.  We need the REALITY of God to interrupt the reality of our lives.  It is easy to watch videos of Haiti, and Zim, and other places of devastation and think, “What can I do?”  and I would say more than you can possibly imagine. Pour forth the name of Jesus. Pray that they would prosper spiritually, economically, socially, physically. Pray that the teams have all they need to go so they can speak hope, life and truth to a desperate people in desperate times.

What will you do with that?

Here is video clip if you would like see first hand what God is up to.  My Cry for Zimbabwe

Remember, if you want to be part of this work you can do so here.

Hitting a Nerve

/ Jana / 2 Comments

It is so much fun to let go of a ball in a pinball machine.  It starts setting off lights and bells everywhere. Such was yesterday’s blog.

Sistahs just like me (members of the round belly club) gave me a resounding Amen.  DING DING DING
Others gently instructed me on how or why to process with understanding. FLASH FLASH

I so love journeying with us in all different places. Nice to know that I am not alone in my frustration; nice to know that others have moved beyond, or never experienced it. But I find I am laughing at us all. In love of course. Not sure there is a right answer on this one.

He is the answer. For me, for you, in the middle of the moment. And you know what? The moments are often ugly and that is okay.  You may not ever get asked that because that might not ever set you off. But I did, and it did.

You see, my Holy Dad set me up.  He knew that reaction was in there, and I did not. Think of it as my own personal “show and tell.”  He showed me what He was seeing so He could tell me how much He loves me and wants to be my everything.  John Dee tells me often, “He wanted me to see what He always knew was there.” Truth in the innermost parts.

And then Jesus came right after the wounding and started reminding me of all of His sweet murmurings in my ear and heart.

As if that was not enough, the Spirit guided me into real revelation…. about “that girl.” Do you have this? The memory, the hurt from middle school, high school, college, the same “that girl” who has showed up all through life. You know the one – she always made you feel like crap. If you let her.

I just took a comprehensive exam yesterday. And you know historically, I don’t test too good.  But I am a quick, quick learner. I love the way He simply won’t let me live in lies. That my friends, round or flat, is freedom.

How about you?  When you blow up, where do you go?

We Interrupt This Regularly Scheduled Program… To Vent!

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You know you need grace when you get into those situations where you become frighteningly silent for fear of vomiting venom all over yourself, the offending person and the people standing within 10 feet of you.

That happened to me this morning.  I didn’t even look at her for fear that fire-breathing dragons would burst from my eyes and burn her up on the spot.

But after I walked away from the moment, the Lord showed me these scenarios are also good indicators of other things besides grace:

A) God is teaching me self-control.
B) God is setting me up to flush places in my heart that need healing.
C) He is using ME to heal, repair, and convict someone else.

Another possible solution is that He is doing D) all of the above. Not funny, fun or entertaining. At all.

For the sake of social instruction… if you don’t KNOW a person well enough to already KNOW the facts, don’t ask if she is pregnant. Unless she has on a “baby on board” T-shirt, or like message, don’t go there. Not ever. Ever. Just because someone has a pudge, don’t ask, “How far along are you?” Believe it or not, there are about 100 body shapes between anorexic and pregnant. Why do we go from model thin to “with child”? Look around; there are lots and lots of body styles in between these two points on the spectrum.  The last time I had a flat belly, I was 8.  It is socially ridiculous to assume someone is with child because they have a roll.  Can I be more clear? If you haven’t heard through the grapevine, if you don’t see a baby falling out of her uterus,  if you don’t see some book for new mommies nearby, don’t ask.

For the sake of spiritual conviction…why did that bother me so badly that I couldn’t even respond? And what is the appropriate response?

It bothered me so badly because it was like a contest had occurred and I lost. She was thin and attractive and her question was like a judgment that I was not.  I let her definition shake up my heart.  And appropriate? Proverbs says “An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips.”  How about a response like, “What an odd question. Why would you feel the freedom to ask that?”

Instead of being honest, I withdrew. Instead of standing in my beauty as God sees it, I hung my head in shame. That really hurt, but instead of being straightforward, I froze in the name of some Christian, Southern, love your neighbor BS.

Why do we shy away from letting people know how we feel? Are only good feelings, happy, holy feelings allowed?  I don’t think so.

Today has been a good, good day by being such a bad one. But here are my God take-aways:

Truth:  I belong to my Lover and His desire is for me (round belly and all).  Don’t give in to social stupidity when it comes to weight, beauty and fashion.
Truth: If you don’t know, don’t ask. Ever.
Truth: Speak the truth, even when it hurts. Maybe it will stop the insensitive person from continuing to ask foolish questions of others.
Truth: Grace is not the same thing as silence.

Blessings on all you round-bellied women!  And you flat-bellied ones, too!

Holy Parentheses

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The book I am devouring now is “In a Pit with a Lion on Snow Day” by Mark Batterson. And he made a comment that the Lord has me running crazy with.

Batterson talked about how the Holy Spirit “hovers” over us. From Genesis until now, He is working, hovering, creating, leading. Read his book to hear his conversation. But I want to talk about how this notion and Psalm 139 connect.  He knows us. He sees us. He hems us in, before and behind…Batterson used the word parentheses. I heard the Lord say, “Like a holy parentheses.”

And I had this visual of God’s hands forming a “holy parentheses” around my life. And your life. But it didn’t stop there.

Look at the first letters of this word. What does it spell? Parent. When I looked up the definition for the word here what it says:

Etymology: Late Latin, from Greek, literally, act of inserting, from parentithenai to insert, from para- + en- en- + tithenai to place

Uhm Wow.  We are inserted in the Parent’s hands. Placed there by His design, held there by His love. What was David’s response to this Ahaa moment?  “Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.” Amen.

I just want to dwell on that today.  As I “move and have my being,” as I work and rest, succeed and fail, think and dream, I reside in the Holy Parentheses. My Heavenly Parent placed me there, and “nothing can pluck me out of His hand.” Hallelujah.

1 O LORD, you have searched me
      and you know me.

 2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
      you perceive my thoughts from afar.

 3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
      you are familiar with all my ways.

 4 Before a word is on my tongue
      you know it completely, O LORD.

 5 You hem me in—behind and before;
      you have laid your hand upon me.

 6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
      too lofty for me to attain.

 7 Where can I go from your Spirit?
      Where can I flee from your presence?   Psalm 139

Who Is Driving?

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You already know that the Lord is hilarious. And He speaks everywhere all the time.  Well my God story this week is from a bathroom in Hot Springs, North Carolina.

We were making a pit stop on the way to our WGR Leadership Retreat and I saw an open Bible on the bookshelf next to the potty.  So since I was just sitting there for a moment (ahem)  I looked over to see where it was opened.  Oh, surprise, surprise: Psalm 23, where most Bibles are marked in funeral homes and the like. But I sensed the Lord telling me to read Psalm 26 because I love that one.  I quickly realized it was in the King James Version, and this familiar verse took on a whole new kick.

“Examine me, O LORD, and prove me; try my reins and my heart.” Psalm 26: 2

When was the last time you prayed that? How much do we give the Lord permission to examine and prove us?  I don’t know about you, but the term “try my reins and my heart” really grabbed my attention.  Reins are what you use to direct, to lead, to guide, to stop or correct. Reins are how you drive a horse, a carriage, a life.

“Try my reins.” See if I willingly hand them over to You. Are they supple in Your hands from firm, loving use?  Are they easy to hold from lots of hours of good following and obedience? Or are they stiff and unused?  Have I been running wild without reins or direction?

What about my heart?  Do I do the same for my heart? Willingly hand it over? Trust You to hold and lead? Is it soft and following, or hard and balking when You apply  tender pressure?  And honestly, what is the difference between my reins and my heart?

It is the difference between my will and my affection.  It is one thing to say you follow God. It is another to love Him. It is one thing to “obey” out of fear, and quite another to “go with Him” out of pure adoration. Both the reins (or will) and the heart are what God is after. Wholeheartedly His.

Examine me, Lord. Test how I am living life with You. Gauge how I am allowing my life to be led. By You or by my own selfish ways. You are the God of my will. You take the reins. And hold my heart, Lord. Keep it warm, safe and soft in Your mighty right hand.  Heal me and make me fully yours. Amen.