truth

The Light of His Presence

/ Jana / 1 Comment

After teaching an intense retreat this weekend, and busy Monday, I sat down today to “eat” on the word. My spirit was grumbling like an empty belly. As I was reading through Psalms, I kept running across the phrase, in the light of your presence.

Not once, but many times.  And as I kept reading, I had a “Nemo” moment: when all these scenes connected together.

The women on Saturday night not knowing how much God desires them…

The teens on Sunday morning, not seeing that God longs to help them succeed in the middle of this culture…

The woman on Monday afternoon, not being able or willing to believe that she doesn’t have to “perform” to be valued…

My own heart needing clarity as I navigate politics and protocols with other organizations…

In the light of Your presence.

Without Him we cannot see. He wants us to get that all these appetites, all these hungers, questions and needs, are met in Him. “In the light of your presence,” there is such comfort. His light reveals. His presence heals. He helps us see what we cannot see, but desperately need to.

Think about these spiritual nuggets:

“There is no shadow of turning with thee”  God is not moving. He will not turn His back on us. Jesus’s death means he will not change his mind about us. There is no darkness in Him, so if we need revelation of our gray areas, we need only ask, believe, receive.

“We walk in the light as He is in the light.” His Spirit is “ever” interceding, ever leading us into greater light and understanding.

“There is NO condemnation for those who are in Christ.” Romans 8:1

God is constantly telling us that They (Father, Son and Holy Spirit) are With us and For us.  Their love is the answer for every ache in our hearts. But we have to believe that.

In the disappointing movie, The Invention of Lying, the producers set up the story to be an assault against the Christian faith. But it actually turned out to be a revelation of how desperately the human heart needs and longs for direction. We want and need the light. However, the movie’s message chose to remain in darkness. And hopelessness. They refused to “see” that His presence is real. And His light changes everything.

Utter dependence on God is the goal. Jesus said, Man does not live by bread alone but by every word that proceeds out of the mouth of God. Feast on Him. Enjoy Him. Let His presence be the Light you live by.

Delicious Deception

/ Jana / Leave a comment

There is a lot of effort, advice, and energy surrounding our issues.  I am thinking of food in particular. It is a tragic trend to study.

Chuck and I have seen the odd parallel rise among the sexes. As men turned to porn for relief, excitement and comfort, women turned to food for the same. For both there exists a deception of love and acceptance.  We form “relationship” with an object. We turn to a seductive picture of a body and how it promises to momentarily makes us feel. We turn to a seductive picture of a food item and how it promises to momentarily make us feel.

I kid you not in Walmart last year, there was a calendar display that stopped me suddenly. Side by side. Maxim and Desserts. It was such a telling moment. Two different calendars, one simple lie. A year full of fantasy.

What flavor ? Red head or strawberry? Brunette or banana split?

For both sexes, the compass of True North is broken.  Or maybe instead of True North, the compass of Truth is broken.  We turn to something other than Truth to define, comfort, heal us.

Sure, sure we know that. We only have to look at our out of whack minds and bodies to see this doesn’t work. But now what? Is joining another “don’t touch, don’t eat” group going to really heal the hurt and hunger inside?

For today, I want to suggest you begin a conversation with God and ask Him: Where do I go when I hurt?

It is not a quick conversation. But a slow dawning. Like the sun coming up, the sky goes from black to gray to full light. Ask the Lord to bring you revelation. Before you tear down idols, you have to know the Truth. So let’s begin there.

YOU AND I
by Shane Barnard and Shane Everett

Clean I call you clean
I came to clean you and it’s done
Here’s a call to all who’ve
Felt disqualified to run
Pleasures flowing here and there
From my right hand
What’s mine is yours
Come behold all of who I am

You and I will run
You and I will run forever
All is done
You and I will run

Come with what you do not have
And buy what’s undeserved
Feast and drink, the bounty’s great
I know you hear
But have you heard
Have you heard

Clean!
I’ve called you clean!
“I am dirty”
Clean!
“So unworthy”
Clean!
“Dirty”
That’s what I’m wanting

You and I will run
You and I will run forever
All is done
You and I will run

“Every one who thirsts, come to the waters; And you who have no money come, buy and eat. Come, buy wine and milk without money and without cost.”
(Is 55:1)

“He made Him who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf, so that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.”
(2 Corinthians 5:21)

Hitting a Nerve

/ Jana / 2 Comments

It is so much fun to let go of a ball in a pinball machine.  It starts setting off lights and bells everywhere. Such was yesterday’s blog.

Sistahs just like me (members of the round belly club) gave me a resounding Amen.  DING DING DING
Others gently instructed me on how or why to process with understanding. FLASH FLASH

I so love journeying with us in all different places. Nice to know that I am not alone in my frustration; nice to know that others have moved beyond, or never experienced it. But I find I am laughing at us all. In love of course. Not sure there is a right answer on this one.

He is the answer. For me, for you, in the middle of the moment. And you know what? The moments are often ugly and that is okay.  You may not ever get asked that because that might not ever set you off. But I did, and it did.

You see, my Holy Dad set me up.  He knew that reaction was in there, and I did not. Think of it as my own personal “show and tell.”  He showed me what He was seeing so He could tell me how much He loves me and wants to be my everything.  John Dee tells me often, “He wanted me to see what He always knew was there.” Truth in the innermost parts.

And then Jesus came right after the wounding and started reminding me of all of His sweet murmurings in my ear and heart.

As if that was not enough, the Spirit guided me into real revelation…. about “that girl.” Do you have this? The memory, the hurt from middle school, high school, college, the same “that girl” who has showed up all through life. You know the one – she always made you feel like crap. If you let her.

I just took a comprehensive exam yesterday. And you know historically, I don’t test too good.  But I am a quick, quick learner. I love the way He simply won’t let me live in lies. That my friends, round or flat, is freedom.

How about you?  When you blow up, where do you go?

We Interrupt This Regularly Scheduled Program… To Vent!

/ Jana / 4 Comments

You know you need grace when you get into those situations where you become frighteningly silent for fear of vomiting venom all over yourself, the offending person and the people standing within 10 feet of you.

That happened to me this morning.  I didn’t even look at her for fear that fire-breathing dragons would burst from my eyes and burn her up on the spot.

But after I walked away from the moment, the Lord showed me these scenarios are also good indicators of other things besides grace:

A) God is teaching me self-control.
B) God is setting me up to flush places in my heart that need healing.
C) He is using ME to heal, repair, and convict someone else.

Another possible solution is that He is doing D) all of the above. Not funny, fun or entertaining. At all.

For the sake of social instruction… if you don’t KNOW a person well enough to already KNOW the facts, don’t ask if she is pregnant. Unless she has on a “baby on board” T-shirt, or like message, don’t go there. Not ever. Ever. Just because someone has a pudge, don’t ask, “How far along are you?” Believe it or not, there are about 100 body shapes between anorexic and pregnant. Why do we go from model thin to “with child”? Look around; there are lots and lots of body styles in between these two points on the spectrum.  The last time I had a flat belly, I was 8.  It is socially ridiculous to assume someone is with child because they have a roll.  Can I be more clear? If you haven’t heard through the grapevine, if you don’t see a baby falling out of her uterus,  if you don’t see some book for new mommies nearby, don’t ask.

For the sake of spiritual conviction…why did that bother me so badly that I couldn’t even respond? And what is the appropriate response?

It bothered me so badly because it was like a contest had occurred and I lost. She was thin and attractive and her question was like a judgment that I was not.  I let her definition shake up my heart.  And appropriate? Proverbs says “An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips.”  How about a response like, “What an odd question. Why would you feel the freedom to ask that?”

Instead of being honest, I withdrew. Instead of standing in my beauty as God sees it, I hung my head in shame. That really hurt, but instead of being straightforward, I froze in the name of some Christian, Southern, love your neighbor BS.

Why do we shy away from letting people know how we feel? Are only good feelings, happy, holy feelings allowed?  I don’t think so.

Today has been a good, good day by being such a bad one. But here are my God take-aways:

Truth:  I belong to my Lover and His desire is for me (round belly and all).  Don’t give in to social stupidity when it comes to weight, beauty and fashion.
Truth: If you don’t know, don’t ask. Ever.
Truth: Speak the truth, even when it hurts. Maybe it will stop the insensitive person from continuing to ask foolish questions of others.
Truth: Grace is not the same thing as silence.

Blessings on all you round-bellied women!  And you flat-bellied ones, too!

Pink Pigs and Black Lab

/ Jana / 1 Comment

Her name is Lucy.  She is a black lab that is a little over four months old. Wondering why you haven’t heard much about her?  Because her future has been on shaky ground these first 3 – 4 months…. What was I thinking to go back into Puppyland? But the verdict is in. She is definitely going to live, and live with us. I am so glad because this morning she provided a beautiful “Ah-ha” moment with the Lord about Unanswered Prayers.

The Lord and I have been talking a lot about the difference between feelings, facts and faith. Feelings are good, only not enough to build a life on. Facts are good but can be deceiving.  What are facts to me, may be not quite the whole picture from God’s perspective. My friend Mary made a great distinction between facts and Truth. She said facts are information but Truth is power.  Wow.  I loved that. And then finally, or rather ultimately, there is Faith. Belief in the unseen power, love and goodness of God. Ahhh– the squeeze begins.

“We wrestle not against flesh and blood.”
“Faith proved more precious than gold.”
“His ways are higher than our ways.”

Talk about tension.

God is revealing everything in my life that competes for His affection. I am pretty sure I want this or that. And He says “No, but you can have more of Me.”  I ask for something else. He says “No, but you can have more of Me.”  And on it goes.

I don’t feel bad about the process. I don’t think He does either. He is trying to show me how I go looking for the wrong thing, the lesser thing, the Un-needed thing over and over. He is painfully but lovingly showing me how I believe in what I can see more than what He has promised me. Enter Lucy.

Lucy has a whole bag of toys: Old shoes, a red lobster, an orange pumkin, and her favorite, “Blue,” a blobby blue toy with a face. Go figure. But every single day, I said every single day, Lucy sneaks into Charis’ room and nabs a pink pig slipper and lays down and begins chewing on it.

Every day I say no.  Some days she brings it to me as if to say, “Today?”  Other days, she waits ’til I am distracted and slinks off to her bed with it in her mouth. And of course I see her and take it away and give her one of her own toys. She seems oblivious to the fact that her whole world is governed by me; that I know the condition of her toys. I replace them as needed and buy her new ones just for fun. I buy her food and make sure she eats. I even clean up her many messes, some that are true accidents, and many that are on purpose.  But I do more than provide for her. I enjoy her.  I am here for her, but she is also here for me and my family.  There is an emotional exchange between us.

I am like Lucy more than I care to admit.  Every day, I ask for some stupid pink pig. Every day, I think that I have to scrounge, or that I can sneak, when the reality is, my world is governed by my Living God.  But I am more than a family pet to Him; I am His bride.

Really. You are too. Really.  Maybe faith is believing that those pink pigs are only distractions and the safest place I can be is in His arms.  There has been a Holy Exchange between us. I am here for Him. And He does more than provide; He enjoys me.

“He who did not spare his own Son, but gave Him up for us all—how will He not also, along with Him, graciously give us all things?” Romans 8:32

Can You Hear Him Singing?

/ Jana / 2 Comments

“Walk towards me
I want to hear
The heavens singing over you.”

I just had this most fantastic conversation with my friend about “sitting in the presence of the Lord and talking to Him.”  She is going through a really hard time with medical issues but the Lord is showing her those physical symptoms are also related to her heart issues.  And she said this beautiful thing: “I was working on all these things but I still wasn’t seeing what was in my heart. There was a lie in my heart that He wanted me to see.”

God doesn’t just want to make us feel better, or give us relief for a moment. He wants us to be healed. Free. Healed and walking in newness of life. But we cannot walk in newness of life and still hold on to the same old lies. In her life, and in my own (perhaps in yours?) I can see the circumstances circling and tightening like a python.  Yet instead of squeezing life out, this holy paralysis is forcing stillness.  God will immobilize us if necessary just so we can look Him in the eyes and see that He “will fight thousands for my love.”

Will we sit in the presence of the Lord and journal? Ask Him questions, hard questions.  Will we let Him ask us questions? Hard questions.  And will we let our hearts see the lies He is exposing?  God wants us to “know the truth” so that we will be free indeed.

Today, perhaps, stop fighting the python. Stop struggling to escape the circumstances. Instead, sit. Write. Listen. Ask. Believe. See the lies that keep you in torment. Renounce them, let them go, call on the Lord.

And if you listen long enough, you will hear heaven singing over you.

For My Love (listen)

Walk towards me
I want to hear
The heavens singing over you
When you breathe
And look at me
I want to be captured by you

Gaze into my eyes
And let me know you’d fight
Thousands, for my love
Slip your hand in mine
Ask me to dance with you tonight
Just ask me for my love

I want to hide
What’s deep in my eyes
I’m scared to be known by you
But when I turn my head
And see you there
I want to be pursued

Gaze into my eyes
And let me know you’d fight
Thousands, for my love
Slip your hand in mine
Ask me to dance with you tonight
Just ask me for my love

A dream I won’t wake from
A story that will never end
The ground your feet walk on
Let me be there, let me be there

by Bethany Dillon