Proverbs talks about “the way of a man with a maiden.”  I love how Tim Keller of Redeemer Church teaches on this and on biblical sexuality. He paints a beautiful picture of a pursuing lover, romancing and wooing his woman, providing a safe and loving place for them to truly be naked and unashamed. Known and knowing. A place where a woman freely and willingly offers herself and receives this ardent lover. Wow…what a vision of love. What a great idea from God.

But — this is not always the reality or goal of many men, or women. My husband and I have young daughters, so we are often showing them real life ways to evaluate character and to recognize selfish motives. In themselves and in others. We want them to have a healthy respect for themselves so they will know how to test a guy’s heart. (You know by the time they are in high school they are gonna be sick of us…)

Anyway, Chuck was driving the girls to school and they came upon a truck.  It had one of those painted beach scenes and stuck on the beach scene were two of the classic silver silhouettes of a woman. You know the ones, the truckers’ equivalent to the Playboy bunny. I hate  what both represent. What it reduces a woman to, what it reduces a man to.

So Chuck proceeds to tell the girls, “If you ever meet a guy that wants to date you and he has this on his truck, your answer is ‘No.’ This guy has a wrong view of women. He is just a consumer of beauty, and doesn’t value you for who you are.” (Preach it, brother!)

Of course, Charis quips, “Well what if you are dating him and you didn’t know he drove a truck like that?”  To which Dad says, “Dump him.”

And then, Chuck proceeds to tell one of his favorite stories about one of his sisters. She was going on the first date with a guy. On the side of his truck were decals. It read:  Jeff and …. The other name had been removed and you could see the sticky residue. 

In all seriousness, Jeff looked at Chuck’s sister, smiled and nodded toward the blank spot on his door. “You know, your name could be here,” he said.

WHAT???  If it wasn’t so funny, it would be tragic…And here is our problem.  We as women tolerate that. Why?  Because we settle. We hope to have our names of the side of a guy’s truck, when in reality our names have been engraved on the Palm of God’s hand.

Our desire for beauty, our need for affirmation, our hope for romance and fulfillment is best met in our Bridegroom God. He is our definition and satisfaction. And then with our hearts full of living water, and real love, we are able to enter into relationship with a man. Sisters, let’s not talk about “them.”  Let’s talk about us. Let’s start with the right Man, before we cast our pearls before swine.