“I Need More…” Class Tonight!

September 16, 2014 / Jana / Leave a comment

I don’t know why I am so excited about this class. I think it is the Freshness that I feel in His approach. I have just had time to pause and reflect, even to evaluate why we do what we do. Or more specifically, why I do what I do when it comes to Jesus and teaching and pouring out.

With all that said, I feel like a river has opened up in my soul and I am eager to splash around in it. And to invite some friends along to play as well.

So please pray with me as women come that they will drink deeply. Pray for me as He pours through me. And please. There are so many who “need more” of Jesus…in so many different ways. So spread the word of this offering.

Green Brier Club House, 1505 Greenbrier Ridge Way, Knoxville, TN 37909. Every Other Tuesday beginning tonight, 6:30-8:30

Tuesday is the Day for New Class— “I Need More…”

September 4, 2014 / Jana / Leave a comment

Soooo. Nothing like a little stumble to keep you humble. In my thrill of making announcements I missed one little glaring detail. I am not available on many Mondays.

So here is the UPDATED new announcement. And I am still super thrilled to get to be with God’s women.

I really feel like God is calling His women to an awakening. So many I talk to are really frayed, dried out or tied up in knots. He is wanting us to come sit in His presence for a deep breath, a new perspective, a safe place to heal. He wants us to come into the deeper waters for life.

“I Need More…” is a new class that begins September 16 through November. We will meet every other TUESDAY night at Greenbrier Club House, from 6:30-8:30. The address is 1505 Greenbrier Ridge Way, Knoxville, TN 37909. Very convenient at the Papermill exit off I-40.

What you can expect: soaking worship, the presence of the Lord, other hungry women who want more of God, and real life topics. It’s for women who have that yearn in their gut for something better, deeper; for women have gone numb; for women who need some freedom finally; for women who are ready to go to the next level.

Please pray with me that the women who are hungry will come, and thank God with me that He will feed those who do.

New Season, New Class, New Event— Just New!

September 3, 2014 / Jana / Leave a comment

Hello Friends!

Do you smell that? No, it’s not Pumpkin Spice lattes. It is the aroma of anticipation. God is moving and shaking so much that I am eager to begin this new season.

We had a great “Saying Yes to God” Class. I am still meeting with new women who are doing just that, saying yes, and I love watching their lives explode with more of Him.

Here is a quick update of things on the horizon.

“I Need More…” is a new class that begins September 15 through November. We will meet every other Monday night at Greenbrier Club House, from 6:30-8:30. The address is 1505 Greenbrier Ridge Way, Knoxville, TN 37909. Very convenient at the Papermill exit off I-40.

Little Teasers about what’s Coming Soon
The Yes and Amen at the Beach sold out really quickly.

So guess what? I am planning another! And, we are scheduling a Yes and Amen in the Mountains for folks who need one closer by. If you are remotely interested, please email me at Jana@janaspicka so I can get you on the details list.

Fresh Revelation…God is stirring in me to do a new event this Spring. I have the location but I need a team to help me get the ball rolling. If you have any desire to love God and love on others by serving on a volunteer team, I will let you in on the secret handshake (wink) and we will get busy! Email me or find me on Facebook.

I hope you will connect with, or pray over, or spread the word about all God is doing. My heart is so full. And I am thankful for the opportunity to let it pour out.

Grace and favor on you and in you!
Jana

When You think You Need More Money…

August 28, 2014 / Jana / 1 Comment

I have a lot of wealthy friends. We live in really different financial spheres and sometimes the money gap is comical. For example, I was thrilled to go to Florida and one friend vacationed at a Mediterranean oasis. I bought a new house (that I love!) and one friend bought a new house that makes my house look like her bonus room. Another friend eloquently remarked, “Jana I live in a land with lots of zeros, so I am not worried about the cost of this.”

I laughed out loud. I can’t even imagine making such a statement.

The odd thing though is my wealthy friends also make heart-wrenching comments. Two of them said recently that they have a hard time with close friendships because people are jealous of them and that people judge them for how they spend their money.

These comments rattled my soul. For several reasons. I love my friends. Deeply. And they love me. Deeply.

I would hope that their love for me would not fluctuate as my income fluctuates. As in, when I have no money, I would have no friendship? So then, why would having a surplus of income mean a sacrifice of friendship?

Do we really believe that more money is the answer to most everything? If we are not careful, we will have our eyes on more money rather than on more of our Maker. Look at these statements from wealthy people in my world:

“I have so much money, I don’t really need Jesus for anything.”

“I had an opportunity to make millions, but I don’t think that is what’s best for my family or my own soul. I don’t think this is God’s plan for me right now.”

“I am thankful for the money we have, but my friends think I don’t have any problems. They think their life is harder than mine. And it gets very lonely.”

Do you hear the temptation? the poverty? the need? Suddenly the ground becomes very level at the Cross. Perhaps money isn’t the answer to everything. Here are real life people who have plenty of money, yet still have plenty of lack.

Theologian Henri Nouwen poignantly calls out that we are all poor in some areas and rich in some areas. Some have material wealth, some have spiritual wealth. Some have wisdom, some mercy. Yet above all things, he asks, where is our trust? The Lord is the source of all, for all.

Extreme security. These are the two words that God gave me in March. It was an invitation actually.

“How would you like to live in “extreme security?” He asked.

“What does this mean?” I said. Instantly I thought of paying opportunities that would give me more stability, more options. But that’s not what He had in mind.

“That you would be so convinced of My Provision that I would become your ‘extreme security’.”

“I would love this Lord, but I don’t know how.”

“Trust Me.”

Trusting the goodness of God is our highest goal. Perhaps, just perhaps, this is why Jesus said you can’t love God and love money. You have to choose.

You can love God and use money. But you can’t love money and use God.

When I love God, I can learn to trust in His abundance for my every need. Enter peace.

When I love money, I am constantly grasping for more to meet my own needs. Enter exhaustion.

My wealthy friends already know this. They have all they need financially and more. (Which is why they give so much away.) They already know that money doesn’t meet ALL their needs. Only God can do that.

So regardless of your financial status, how is your peace? What is your source? Where is your love?

Really let the Lord reveal your mental conversations as you compare yourself to others, or even despise others for their surplus or lack. Are you asking God to meet your needs? Are you accusing God of not taking care of you? How about this— are you thanking God for what you do have?

And, likewise, let the Lord reveal your areas of spiritual wealth. What areas are you so full that you might share with others? You may be rich in ways you have never considered. I love what 1 Timothy 6:6 says: “But godliness with contentment is great gain.” Godliness. Contentment. Great Gain. This sounds like a great path for us all, regardless of the number of zeros in our lives.

God is faithful to meet all our needs. May we be rich in trusting Him.

Standing in These Uncertain Days…

August 22, 2014 / Jana / Leave a comment

ISIS. Torture. Beheadings. Martyrs. Burned at the stake. Crucified.

Persecution is not a new thing. More than twenty years ago, as brand new believers, Chuck and I worked closely with the Voice of the Martyrs organization. We heard stories that turn your stomach turn and test your faith. But that’s not all. I have read many history books. And, I have read the New Testament. Often.

Remember? It is the stories of people who experienced overwhelming love and utter sacrifice. Persecution is not a new thing.

So as we face the current onslaught, the alarm sounds for us to move deeper into the heart of God. Just as tornado warnings blare out for us to “seek shelter,” so we seek the shelter of the Almighty.

Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High
will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress,
my God, in whom I trust.”

Psalm 91:1-3

These are the days that separate true faith from religion. The sheep from the goats. Religion would make cowards of us all. Social comfort zones, or playing church, do not provide a foundation worth dying for. But “the love of God compels us” to stand against the evil of every generation.

I tell you in the Spirit, the days we are living in must produce three things in every believer’s heart—love, power, and a sound mind.

Love will help you discern that the battle we are in is not against “flesh and blood but principalities and powers.” (Ephesians 6:12)

Love— and I mean God’s real, relevant and consuming affection— will help you abandon your life into His heart. That though you lose your life, you know you will save your soul. These are chilling questions but ones you must examine.

“Am I willing to die for Jesus?” “Am I willing to lose all that I have, including my family, for Jesus?”

You can be sure that our brothers and sisters in the middle East live—and die— by their answers every day. We are not exempt from these spiritual siftings.

Jesus himself spoke of days just as these and declared that these things “must happen.” But his warning? He was concerned about our love. ^“Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold, but the one who stands firm to the end will be saved.” Matthew 24: 12-13 What is your love temperature?

It a sincere love for Jesus that motivates us to follow in His sufferings should that day come. You can’t fake Christianity for long when someone is a holding a gun to your head. Be diligent then in these days. Cultivate, nurture, prioritize your relationship with God now.

Power will equip you to wage war with “divine weapons” and demolish strongholds regardless of where the enemies are located. (2 Corinthians 10:3-5)

Power comes when we understand that Jesus reigns. He is the King of all the earth. Period. When we see evil on the rise, we must respond with even greater confidence and faith. And we must respond. In prayer, in action, in faith. The great Light of God has come into the world, and the darkness cannot put it out. Not ISIS, not anyone.

Through him all things were made;

without him nothing was made that has been made.

In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind.

The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.”

John 1: 3-5

We don’t wring our hands, or fret about our way of life. We speak the kingdom of God into the darkest places. We declare the goodness of God to be manifested to those being tormented but also to the tormentors. We release the Scriptures like arrows. We stand in the Spirit against our enemy, we intercede for the suffering. Just this morning I prayed that the name of Jesus would “pour forth like ointment.” (Song of Songs 1:3)

We must rise up into the power and authority that Jesus gave us to advance His Kingdom. It is time for the church to stop its petty territory games and “follow the leader” paradigms and instead start equipping the saints for the Holy War of Love.

A sound mind has a peace that “will guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:7

It is in the mind that your greatest victory is won. “For God did not give us a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind.” ( 2 Timothy 1:7 ) A sound mind has already been given to you. Are you accessing it? We know that in Him we are more than conquerors. But so many of us live in a daily panic or state of “what if this happens.”

I challenge you that God knows your days. He knows the hairs on your head. His job is to be God. Your job is to trust and obey. Trust His goodness, even in the darkest of circumstances, and obey His commands: Love God and love your neighbor.

“He has shown you, O mortal, what is good.

And what does the LORD require of you?

To act justly and to love mercy

and to walk humbly with your God.
Micah 6:8

Which takes more faith? To freak out over every news report or Facebook post? Or, to love your enemies and to bless those who persecute you? ( Matthew 5:44) Our sound mind and steadfast faith releases the power of God into our lives and the world.

Perhaps, the greatest challenge we face as Christians is to finally learn the secret: “Perfect Love casts out fear.”

Today. Tomorrow. Middle East. USA. War. Peace. Famine. Abundance. It is Christ alone.

I exhort you to examine your life. To purposely raise your spiritual expectations so that you live in the realm of Love, Power and a Sound Mind. Then we might truly see “Thy kingdom come, on earth as it is in Heaven.”

Pass the Popcorn…Every good gift is from above.

August 20, 2014 / Jana / Leave a comment

When Charis came home from school, she wanted a snack. I reminded her of the popcorn in the cabinet which produced a squeal of glee from my eleven-year-old. “I didn’t know you had this!” she called from the kitchen.

“Yep, just for you, my sweet,” I called back.

A delicious scent filled the house. She plopped her books and freshly popped snack on the table and began to study and munch. I sat down with her to catch up on her day. I reached over to grab a few kernels and she looked at me with shock and pulled the bag away.

I reached again. She pulled it away again.

I laughed out loud. Then I formally asked, “May I have some of your popcorn?”

Again shock, followed by a little whine, “But mom, this is my popcorn.”

Trying to play along, I said, “and just where did you get that popcorn?”

She crammed more popcorn in her mouth. “The store.”

“Oh I see,” I said, “and who paid for that popcorn?”

“But it’s mi-i-i-ne,” she said half laughing, half serious.

“Girl, give me some of that popcorn. Everything you have you got from me.”

Again she pulled the bag away so I tickled her and tried to grab it out of her hands.

“This must be how God feels.” I said. “He gives us everything we have. He asks us to share some with Him and we holler, ‘but it’s mine.’ ”

And there it was. She and I both heard it. I paused to let it to sink in both our hearts.

Charis handed the bag over, and we both had a laugh and talked with our mouths full of popcorn. But I kept coming back to that thought.

Everything I have comes from the Father. Every. Thing.

Is my posture quick to share when He asks? Is my heart quick to give back to Him ?

Or do I defend, or hoard, or protect, and argue that “this is mine?”

I am talking about every thing in my life. Money, skill, creativity, time, family, comfort, stuff, wisdom, laughter, joy, friendship.

It is all His. Given by Him for our enjoyment, for our good. He has all kinds of surprises for us. Our job?

Say thank you. And share.

Okay that’s all today. Just do a heart check. Are you really grasping that the breath you just took to read this was a gift? We are all so rich is so many ways. So pass the popcorn— without whining.

^“Teach those who are rich in this world not to be proud and not to trust in their money, which is so unreliable. Their trust should be in God, who richly gives us all we need for our enjoyment.” 1 Timothy 6:17

Learning to Love: Honesty and Boundaries

August 19, 2014 / Jana / 1 Comment

While I was on Sabbatical, the Lord did a one-on-one tutorial on relational health. Yes. It was frightening. Because if you are like me, you think you are one of the “mature” people walking around doing life in health and wholeness.

But God. When Jesus steps into the picture of emotional health, the bar is raised to a new level. The sermon on the mount was not a standard for us to try to reach up to, but rather a standard of heaven that exposed Just How Much We Need Jesus. In the same way, emotional health seen through the lens of heaven is very different from our reality.

I am breaking all this down in more detail in my book, but I want to prime the pump but talking about honesty and boundaries. To be honest…I find unbelievers can often deal in reality better than believers. Somewhere along the line we have swallowed just enough Sunday School lessons on kindness and “turn the other cheek” that we think Jesus was some kind of emotional marshmallow and thus that is our goal. We are so paralyzed by by the thought of hurting someone, or that person retaliating, that we flat out lie. Did you hear me? We lie. We gloss, avoid, tell half-truths, exaggerate or just full blown fibs…we lie.

On the contrary, Jesus never lied.

Let that soak in— Jesus. Never. Lied.

Not to the disciples, not to the weak and hurting, not to Pilate, not to the Pharisees and Saducees.

He was Truth. And so he spoke truth at all costs, regardless of potential hurt because he knew that the truth would set us free. Alas. We don’t like this. It is waaaaay too vulnerable. And so we grab from Paul the standard verse in Ephesians to “Speak the truth in love.”

However it does not say…

“speak the truth in denial” or

“speak the gossip in love” or

“avoid the truth in love” or

“speak the truth only if the people still like you” or

“speak the truth regardless of whether it kills the other.”

Do you see we need the lens of Heaven? I heard it said once that Jesus always fully spoke the truth and yet you had never felt so fully loved in your life. Fully truth, fully loved. This is what the Spirit is after.

It is not enough for you to love, and yet you lie. It is not enough for you to be honest, and yet you don’t love the other person.

Enter boundaries. Most of us are dishonest because we don’t feel safe. In fact, we often are not in safe environments. And this is where boundaries become our holy guardrails.

1) Boundaries are for me, not the other person. Boundaries help me feel safe from others. I am not responsible for others’ safety. They are. (How did I miss this?)

2) Boundaries create a safe place for me so that I can hear God for myself. If I can only hear other people’s expectations, demands, pressures, then I can’t hear God for myself. Boundaries help me move those people out a distance until I can again hear the voice of God.

I love this. But does this mean I get to be a hermit, safe inside my own little Jesus world? Not quite.

“But over all these things, put on love.”

How many prophets must ask us: Have you learned to love?

Have we learned to love fully? Not just the beautiful and thrilling and delightful parts of a person, but the weak and ugly and continually maturing parts of a person.

We don’t lie about or deny the ugly parts, and we don’t lack boundaries to protect ourselves from them. But we press into learn how to love. Jesus sees us all fully. And yet he love us fully. This is our model and our goal.

May we learn how to speak the truth. May we learn how to have boundaries so we can hear the Voice of Love above all. And may we learn how to love.

Be tolerant with each other and, if someone has a complaint against anyone, forgive each other. As the Lord forgave you, so also forgive each other. And over all these things put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity. The peace of Christ must control your hearts—a peace into which you were called in one body. And be thankful people.

Colossians 3: 13-15

The Beauty of White-Haired Worshippers

August 18, 2014 / Jana / Leave a comment

Yesterday I had the complete delight of singing on the worship team of Fuse Church. As I stood on the stage, I realized I had the best seat in the house. From that vantage point, I could see God’s people, all shapes and sizes, all ages and stages of faith, coming together for one common purpose — to love on Jesus.

It was beautiful to witness the Holy Spirit woo us into worship and then our adoring response. I was nearly out of my skin. And one woman on the front row took my breath away. I have no idea her age but her hair was white, her back slightly bent. She was alone and yet so very connected to her King. Her arms, thin and shaking, kept lifting in praise. Over and over my gaze would land on her frail body and strong spirit.

I could see she was praying, and worshiping, and being loved on by her Father. Priceless.

Try to hear my heart as I recount this. I was so moved by her apparent age and obvious heart for God that I uttered a cry: “Lord, let this be me till the end.”

I don’t know her story. But I see that at the end of her life, she has found the answer to her questions and it is Jesus. I want to fight the good fight. I want to run the race to the end. When all else fades: beauty, money, strength, reputation, good works, even relationships — I pray my hands will still be lifted in praise to my King. I want the worship of God to be my legacy regardless of the length or status of my life or color of my hair.

How about you? Whose footsteps are you following in? Who are the white-haired worshipers in your life? Who has gone before you and led the way in worshiping God through the seasons of life?

Give me a quick response. And let’s thank God for using these people to “spur us on to good works.”

I’ll go first. My mom is 83 and still plays the piano at her church. Even arthritis doesn’t stop her white-haired worship. And my dad at 85 can still sing some Gaither hymns like you’ve never heard. Your turn. Go.

The Painting: A Parable about Results vs. Enjoyment

July 14, 2014 / Jana / Leave a comment

I had a major ah-ha moment around “getting it right.” And the more I sit in it, the more the Spirit is bringing revelation.

Before we closed on our house, I was stuck in a moment of “God, I am not so sure about the new house idea.” I knew that I had heard the Lord say this was to be our new home. But I was just not seeing it. A friend came over and she and I both stood in silence looking at the property. “It’s really different from where you are right now,” she offered kindly. “It’s a lot of work,” I grumbled.

I turned to her and nearly begged, “Please pray for me today. If God is telling me this is it, I must be missing something because this does not look like abundance. And He promised me abundance.” We hugged and went our separate ways.

But we both did pray. I asked for God to give me glimpse of what He was seeing, a sign, a token of His Yes. She prayed for a glimpse of what God was up to in my life.

The answers to those prayers were, well, God sized.

After my friend left, my family and I ran errands. As we were driving down old familiar roads, “something” caught my eye. I knew a Holy Nudge well enough to go back and look. It was the back of a huge canvas being discarded. My first thought was for Salem. She could repaint this big piece.

Why throw it away when there is so much potential? (Selah)

Then Chuck turned the canvas around I heard this whisper from the Lord. “These are the colors in your new house.”

“But I don’t do blues,” I said.

You do now. This is a whole new season. So all new colors.

Whaaat? Here was a literal sign from God, with a touch of interior Designing too. I was overwhelmed by His kindness to answer my prayer but also the attention to detail of my house. Who is this God who cares about paint colors? I couldn’t wait to tell my friend my answered prayers but she had her own story.

She retold her God conversation as:

Lord, it’s not my place to wonder if she is hearing you right. But I don’t want her being miserable. She loves her home. She has worked hard to make it beautiful.

“Yeah. She is pretty great at making beautiful things, isn’t she?” He said.

So we just started bragging on you and how faithful you are with the gifts you have been given. You look at this house and see everything you want to change, but He is looking at it going, ‘Jana would would excel in here. It looks like work, but an artist enjoys painting…’

Also, I kept asking Him why this looked like a decrease when we know He has “more”. I kept getting words like, inheritance, legacy, generational blessings, and honor of the father and mother. I think the “more” is not in the size of the kitchen… Does any of this fit?

I was crying as I read her email. Yes, Yes it fits. Perfectly.

I turned a corner that day. Yes I was moving. There were months and mountains to cross before we would move into our promised house, but God had activated my creativity. I was dreaming again, brainstorming options. I would go in my garage and look at this huge canvas and just smile. “Blues, huh? This is going to be fun.” I said to the Lord.

I know, He said. That’s the point.

So fast forward six months. God so changed our hearts that we were all but running to the new house because we were so eager to be there. We lugged that huge canvas to the new house and leaned it against the wall, and taunted me. Chuck and I had agreed once we moved, that he wanted something more than an abstract so it needed repainting. So it waited for me.

I tried to recruit my daughter, the artist. Salem refused to touch it.

I kept telling her I didn’t know how to paint well enough to get what was in my head onto the canvas. But every time I said that to Salem, the Spirit would press on me and say, “That’s not the point. You do it.”

Have you ever had something being offered to you that you had no idea how to start, or worse, you wouldn’t start because you were afraid you would screw it up?

When the day of no more stalling came, paints and brushes ready, I stood there— panicked.

What if I mess it up? I said out loud. What if you do? He answered.

What if I don’t like it? I asked. What if you don’t? He prodded.

I don’t know what to do.

Whatever you want.

Really? The first swaths of mixed paint were bolder than I thought but it was too late. A huge stripe of turquoise interrupted the tranquil greys and misty blues. Might as well keep going, I thought. I splashed and smeared and stroked. Then came the tree.

I don’t know how to make a tree.

I do.

I know you do, but how do I paint one.

There was only Silence. So I took the brush and tried to carefully create a tree branch. It looked awful.

You are trying too hard. What you would paint if you were just having fun?

Suddenly I started slapping the brush on the canvas. And before long a tree of sorts did emerge. And so the process continued. With the dripping affects, and squiggle lines, and the cream colored tree roots. The more I relaxed, the more lost I became in the moment, the more I realized I was smiling. I was playing more than painting. I was enjoying more than working.

I stood back and observed my work. “Well it looks really different than the painting in my head.”

Yes it does.

“I am not sure I like it.”

Is that okay?

“Yes. No. Maybe? I like it but it doesn’t really fit my house now. But I sure loved doing it. That was so — fun.”

Ah yes. That’s the point. (Ever have the feeling that Jesus is laughing at you rather than with you sometimes?)

Once the whole family voted, we agreed that we liked the painting but didn’t want it in our new house. And I felt…wonderful.

It really had nothing to do with the result. The whole exercise was about hearing the Lord, responding to Him, being wiling to walk into the unknown, or even unskilled, and enjoy the process.

How have I missed this so many times? I re-read my friends email:

An artist enjoys painting…

I have missed much enjoyment in my life because I have been so results-oriented. The questions God laid on my heart might help you too.

Have I let the “pressures of this world” (the ones Jesus warned us about) choke out the seeds of creativity, joy, enjoyment in my life?

Could I do the same things I do every day, but do them differently? With enjoyment, with pleasure, with God? And let the results—just be the results and not my goal, my worth, or my god?

Seek first the Kingdom of God, and all these things will be added to you. Matthew 6:33

“Where are the good men?”

July 9, 2014 / Jana / Leave a comment

My friend’s eyes filled with tears as she asked these pertinent questions: Where are the good men? Who love God and want to do what’s right?

If this was an isolated case, it might not be blog-worthy. But I have heard these questions for ten years as I’ve walked with women. I should start a match-making service because I have been honored to walk with outstanding, hard-working, motivated, Jesus loving women. But when I look around for available men to be good husbands to these women — the list gets quite short. Instead I find mamas boys, porn addicts, leeches, gamers, and stoners. And, might I add, they are quite content to stay that way.

These women are not perfect. But the secret lies in they know they are not perfect and seek health and wholeness in God. They are working on their stuff to build a better future. But so many of the guys we have seen are stuck in this perpetual teenage boy stupidity:

I want to play. I don’t want to commit. I want sex anyway I can get it. I want to escape.

These Christian women are saying this is the best they get INSIDE the church, let alone those outside the church. One women aptly asked the question, “are my only options to stay single, or, take on a life long project of helping a guy get sober and learn how to get a job and be a husband and dad?”

Listen, before you blast me, I know some outstanding men too. Those guys don’t last long on the marriage market. They are in high demand. But if we are honest, the good men shortage is reaching epidemic levels.

I readily admit I am old school. I come from a heritage of men who know how to work, hard. The passage of my brothers and cousins into manhood was bailing hay as teenagers. Nobody cared if those boys were tired, or sore, or unhappy, or horny. There was work to be done. And you worked full out until the hay was up in the barn just like all the other men did. They were changed by this calling out. We need more of this. A lot more.

Many Christian men I know today, married or single, are walking through life crippled at worst or undeveloped at best. They are lacking fathers in some cases, but in many more cases, they are lacking wise mothers.

If you are a parent to men-in-the-making, may I make a few suggestions for raising them strong:

1) Stop babying your boys.

They will rise to the standard you set. If you do everything for them from laundry to finances to cleaning to cooking, you are setting an expectation that “someone else” will always do the dirty work. In fact, they will let you do all the work, all their life. I heard someone say once “never do for your child what they can and should do for themselves.” This is a powerful gift of personal responsibility. Believe it or not, taking care of yourself begins at a much younger age than most of us like.

2) Men are here to serve others.

Women seem to get this naturally. It is part of our maternal, relationship DNA I suspect. But many young men carry this attitude that “I am the center of the universe.” This does not make for a successful employer, employee, husband, father or friend. You have to teach them to care for others from a young age, and emphasize it all the more when the hormones start raging.

3) Strength must be tested.

The absence of strength is fear of weakness. It doesn’t even mean they are weak. But they fear they will be weak, that they don’t have what it takes in work, life, and family. Obviously, I mean more than just physical strength, but mental and emotional as well.

In the same way a woman constantly assesses her beauty, and man is constantly assessing his strength. If he is never allowed to test his strength, or develop his strength (ie, mom is afraid he will get hurt) then what grows instead is a distorted weakness. This is debilitating to adult males. I believe this is a root cause to most addictions.

He lacks confidence. He lacks initiative and drive. He lacks the ability to be the Man for his family. So what happens? They marry strong women who try to carry both buckets of man and woman inside their families. It doesn’t take long for these marriages to be strained beyond survival. We need strong men and strong women to have healthy families.

The current culture has a lot of bad definitions of men and women. We can’t let those become the norm in our homes. We are kingdom builders. We are co-heirs with Christ. We need godly men and women raising the next generation.

God give us wisdom and power from on high to this noble calling.

Greater Things

Jana Spicka — Author, Speaker, Lover of God

Jana Spicka