God’s presence

A Wedding, a Baby Shower and a Funeral

/ Jana / Leave a comment

Within a month I will have attended all three of these life events. These reality checks should be mandatory once a year for every human being. Why? Because they remind us of promises and futures. They give us perspective on our choices, and what we are sowing and reaping. And, if our hearts are beating at all, we will cry at all three.

Take weddings for example. The bride and groom’s ardent affection make me remember when love was new and the wounds not yet inflicted. I need to remember the helplessly giddy feelings—and cry. Am I still willing to give my heart to my husband with abandon?  But their beaming faces also make me smile because I know, with God’s grace over time, those fresh, gushing promises of forever love and good behavior will turn into more than they could imagine. The wish for “happily ever after” will become a deep reservoir of victories and defeats, little deaths and resurrections, a history of two lives being melded into one. Love is transformed from shallow rapids in a stream into deep still waters.

Baby showers are bittersweet too. Reading the fear and panic on the faces of new moms, or moms again, remind me of just how fast time flies and just how faithful God is. You only have to be a few miles down the road to realize that the sweet cuddles are gone in a moment. Did I stop long enough to enjoy them? Did I plant the seeds of loving God in my children? The messes, questions and hopes of those beginning years will soon be whispers in our memory. God really is big enough to be God to our children, not just to us.  And He will be their God even in our bad moments and failures.

Fortunately, this funeral celebrated a woman who loved God. So we did “not grieve as they who have no hope.” It was a refreshing change to celebrate a life well-walked with Jesus. It caused me to pause and reflect. Am I living in such a way that people know I love God? Not works. Just fruit. This woman had a beautiful display of fruit in the testimonies of others’ lives.

In contrast, the last several funerals I’ve attended have been for unbelievers or spiritual fence-sitters. It is amazing how we speak with gymnastic prowess around death when hell is very real.  None of us can bear the thought of eternal separation from God, yet those people chose separation from Him in this life.  Here is a hard question. If you don’t want to be with Jesus now, why would you want to go to heaven and be with Him forever?

When I die, I  don’t want the speakers to be hanging on some tightrope that I am with Jesus based on some long forgotten church experience. I told Chuck, “If I go first, you tell the people at my funeral that there is no question about whose I am and where I am. I am with my Lover and I had just talked to Him the day I died.”   Chuck laughed and shook his head. “I know honey, I know.”

Life well in Christ so you can die well Christ.

Don’t sleepwalk through your life. Examine, reflect, celebrate, change course. Plant God and harvest His life.

Don’t work more, worship more.

/ Jana / Leave a comment

I am reading this AMAZING book called, Compelled by Love, by Heidi Baker. She and her husband are lovers of Jesus and they pour out their lives to orphans in Mozambique, Africa. She says the poor and orphaned have taught her how to love. Talk about a paradigm shift.

Beyond her degrees, Powerpoints, and fundraising back up plans, she said that they have entered into the Life of Jesus — only. If God doesn’t show up, there is no food. If God doesn’t show up, there is no healing. If God doesn’t show up, they have no protection. So they worship… in everything. And God often responds in miracles and wonderful outpourings that many of us would have trouble believing. But her first goal, her first action, her first response is worship. She knows that the Presence of God is the only way she can live in the pressing need all around her.

Last night, I sat on my bed reading her God stories and just cried.  Cried over the goodness of God. Cried over the way I get distracted and faithless.  Cried over the groan and ache I have for more of Jesus, and yet –I still want my stuff, my way, my comfort.

Then I turned the page and saw a quote from Mother Teresa. She was asked how she managed to face the overwhelming needs day after day. She said:
“My secret is very simple: I pray. Through prayer I become one in love with Christ.

Prayer is not asking. Prayer is putting oneself in the hands of God, at His disposition, and listening to His voice in the depths of our heart.”

At first I read this and was so comforted. But then I looked at the “overwhelming needs” of my day. And I wanted to throw up.

Am I feeding the poor? Caring for orphans? Am I doing something besides being distracted by the lies of my culture (more stuff, more bills, more beauty products)  and seeking entertainment? (Do I even pray about my  “friends” on Facebook? )

Will I invest even one honest season of worship in His presence without all the Christian trappings and just look for His face?

I would love to tell you, Yes, Yes, Yes. But I’m not so sure I can. What I can tell you is that I closed the book and began to pray. First I confessed my willingness to settle for the “pressure of the world” rather than seeking His power in my world. I thanked Him for the blessings of food, shelter, and abundance. When compared to most of the world, I live like a queen. And I can be as demanding and as ungrateful as a queen also. So I thanked Him for His grace and patience with me.

Then I began to pray for the poor and orphaned— in my life. Men and women who are poor in spirit, the people who in live life without the Father’s assurance. They (we) all need to be fed and comforted just like the abandoned ones in countries thousands of mile away. Then my heart turned to just speaking who He is, and how much I need Him and love Him, that He is the answer to all.

He is our greatest ache and groan.

Finally, I just sat in silence. And His presence came.

What did it feel like? Peace. Enveloping, warm, full of light. Peace. Peace that doesn’t always make sense or add up. “Peace that transcends understanding.” But a blanket of “I love you” just draped around me.

His Presence changes things. Our worship stirs His heart and then He stirs ours. He rights our view of our little world when we are reminded, again, it is His world. He is the loving King of all with not only the power but the desire to be God to us and for us.

Today, don’t plan a little more or work a little harder. Worship a little more. And watch God move.

Render Miracles of Our Sin

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What a crazy call.  A friend of mine who had completely given up hope on her marriage called to tell me that God had changed her heart. You have to understand how radical this is. They are separated. They have been at war for years. And the last time we talked, my friend and I were trying to process how to go through the death of a marriage in a graceful way, like walking through a funeral.

And now, a couple of weeks later she is different. Completely different. “I do want to be married…and to him!” she said through choking words. She sees now that she had never been willing to do what it would take to make her marriage work. “I have never been willing to change myself.  I always wanted him to change.”

We pray her estranged husband  will try again too, but watching the Lord soften and heal and completely renovate this wife’s heart is faith building. You can’t believe how bad this story has been.  I listened to her recent revelation with the Lord and  I was dumbfounded. And humbled. She said “I thought about you and Chuck and what God has done.” She named two other mutual friends’ marriages that God had resurrected from dry bones. “If God could heal you all, as bad as you were, then maybe there is something I’m missing here,” she said.

As I relayed the good news to Chuck, we both just sat on the phone stunned. “That’s crazy,” he said. “I mean, who would have believed that this could happen?” Many of us have prayed for breakthrough and deliverance. But when the husband moved out, we felt like it was  over and dead. But God. I am glad that God has enough faith  for all of us.

“It’s a miracle. Really. It is a miracle in our midst,” I said quietly.

Three things  stir in my heart. Share your God stories. No matter how messy and ugly and painful. If God has been God to you through heartache, if you have a story of dry bones brought back to life, then breathe that glory out on others.

At Yes and Amen we talked a lot about the power of God to breathe new life on dead bones. All around the room you could see women sharing their stories. Eating disorders  now healed, marriages being restored, parent relationships being bridged… God’s heart is to heal us all if we will only ask and believe Him to move. And we need to hear that God is still God. Share your stories even if they are not “happily ever after” yet. By faith, we must keep on believing and speaking all that God is doing.

The second thing is hold onto the power of redemption. Really, really. The power of God put on display is not when we do it “Just Right” and He gives us a pat on the back. He does love our maturing in Him for sure. But until we mature, or as we mature, He loves when we bring everything to Him to restore and renew and well—to Be God. God is constantly wanting to be God for us, if we will only ask, believe and receive.

There is a beautiful line in a Caedmon’s Call song called “Carry Your Love.” It says, “change us from within/ render miracles from our sin.”  Only God can do that —take our sin and turn it in to something beautiful for His glory.  That word render  is so potent. Look it up sometime. “To melt down, to give in return, to transmit to another.”

All of those are so different in meaning but so God. His glory melts our sin and converts it into something mold-able in His Hands. He gives us beauty in return for ashes. We give him mess and brokenness, He gives us more of Himself, full of joy, possibility, new mercies. He transmits His very life into our own. Remember in Narnia? Aslan would breathe on the children, and their fears would vanish. In place of lack, He would “breathe into them”, transmit to them  His power, His presence.

And third?  Keep your eyes on Jesus.  Keep believing. What are your dead bones? Ask Him to breathe on them and then believe for your own heart change to happen too. May He render miracles of our sin.

Carry Your Love
We are called out; we are ransomed
We are not of the world were in
We are chosen; we are blessed
to bring light to the lives of men
So Father sow your seed
Give us life in community
Wake us from our sleep
This is your time; this is your place
and we are vessels for breaking

Under your grace we are led by your spirt
You have redeemed us by the blood of your son
Send down your word we are eager to hear it
Ready our hearts to cary your love

You are sunlight you are morning
Your the hope of a brand new day
Your are comfort; you are blessing
and you wipe all our tears away
So change us from within
Render miracles from our sin
Remind us once again
This is your time;this is your place
We are vessels for breaking

Under your grace we are led by your spirt
You have redeemed us by the blood of your son
Send down your word we are eager to hear it
Ready our hearts to cary your love

Sweetly Broken Abortion Healing Retreat

/ HeatherT / Leave a comment

“I thought I was over it.”

“I’ve never told anyone.”

“I’m afraid God is punishing me.”

“How can I make this right?”

“How can I forgive…?”

We know how you feel.  We have been there too.Through the fear, nightmares, denial, anger and regrets.

BUT we have passed through to a new place called peace, and true forgiveness.

We are still sad about the fact of our past, but we are no longer held captive by it.

God has shown us there is beauty in our brokenness.

We invite you to a tender, honest and safe weekend to
hear about how to walk forward in freedom.

What you can expect:

Time to process

Time to worship

Time to hear truth

Time to be honest

Time to sort out what’s next?

Teaching and materials by Jana Spicka.

2 night’s lodging at a lake house in Louisville, TN.

Check in at 5pm. First session at 7pm.  Check out Sunday at 11am.

Four meals and snacks. Breakfast, lunch and dinner on Saturday and breakfast on Sunday morning. (Friday night dinner is on your own before first session.)

This is an intimate gathering for 9 women.

CLICK HERE TO REGISTER.

A New Spin on Forgiveness

/ Jana / Leave a comment

I love it when the Holy Spirit blows me up. He keeps bringing revelation about love and forgiveness. At Yes and Amen  the Lord  called for us to fall in love with Him.  How do we love Him more? At WGR class last Tuesday, we looked at the parable Jesus told about the two debtors.

“Two people owed money to a certain moneylender. One owed him five hundred denarii, and the other fifty. Neither of them had the money to pay him back, so he forgave the debts of both. Now which of them will love him more?”

Simon replied, “I suppose the one who had the bigger debt forgiven.”

“You have judged correctly,” Jesus said. (Luke 7:41)

Jesus used this parable to challenge the hard-hearted homeowner who scorned the woman washing Jesus’s feet with her tears.  The bottom line is he who has been forgiven much, loves much. Jesus directly equates our ability to love with our willingness to receive forgiveness from God. But there’s more.

Sunday morning, I was in a wad  before church and  journaled out some confusion and frustrations in relationships. The Lord spoke that forgiveness was the key. So I wrote out the names of the strained relationships and asked the Lord to bring forgiveness to bear in the hearts involved. Then, what was the topic at church on Sunday morning?

Yes, a message on forgiveness. There were  new pieces revealed in this conversation with the Lord even as the pastor was speaking.

The pastor, Scott Hughes,  taught out of Luke 9 where Jesus said that if we are to follow him, we must take up our cross daily. I began to groan under the hint of “work it up” theology, but  Scott quickly commented how misunderstood this verse is. He broke down the meaning. The cross is a symbol of God’s love, the sacrifice of Jesus, the total forgiveness of our sin, but also the sin of every person in the world.  The cross means I’m forgiven, but so is the person I have conflict with.

So when we take up our cross daily, we take up, we carry around with us, the weight, the meaning, the reality, of God’s love and his total forgiveness. We carry the cross so we think rightly about our relationship with God and our total acceptance by Him. But we also carry the cross as a reminder that the others in our lives, even the ones we want to punch in the face, are also dearly loved and forgiven by God.

Then the Lord added His beautiful touch of revelation and the pieces starting connecting together like magnets pulling pins together.

He brought back a memory from another sermon from a few Easter’s ago. Greg Pinkner had fish tank on the stage and illustrated the story of the ax head being raised up out of the river. He said it was a picture of the resurrection of Christ. Greg had a blooming dogwood branch in his hand. As as he taught — about things begin buried, out of reach, and should not be able to be raised up, things like an ax head, like our sin, like  the crucified man named Jesus—he would push the dogwood branch down to the bottom of the water and hold it there.

But as he talked about the power of God, the power of His word, the heart of God to restore all things, Pinkner would release the branch and it would spring back to the surface of the water. The branch could not stay submerged. It had to come to the surface. He did this three or four times. By the third time, I wanted to stand up and yell HALLELUJAH!!! God has taken our sin and our separation and by His own Hand, He buried it in Jesus, once and for all. And then by His own mercy, He called Jesus back out of the grave and us with Him! Jesus could not stay in the grave!

So the cross isn’t just a sign of death. It is a sign of Life. New Life. Resurrected Life. When we pick up our cross daily we can take our offenses and hurts and “bury them” in the Cross of Jesus. He will bring new life where there was only death and separation before. And part of His new life, is an increased love for Him and for others because of this beautiful forgiven and resurrected life.

Oh the beauty of the Forgiving Father! The power of the Resurrected Christ! The promise of the Wonderful Counselor who leads us into increasing freedom with others, and from others.

Could we love others more if we forgave more? Could we love others more if we embraced how much we have been forgiven by God? May God grant us eyes to see and ears to hear all that He has in store for us through His love.

Loving What God Loves

/ Jana / 1 Comment

It never fails. After an event as powerful as Unhindered 2012, I began to unpack the car,  my heart, and my notes. “Ah” comes the familiar sigh, as my eyes glanced over the post-it notes I used as speaking cues.

“I forgot that verse.”

“Oh I didn’t show that slide.”

“Wow Lord, I didn’t tell them that story of how You came through for us.”

I had coffee with Chuck this afternoon and ran down the list of what “I didn’t say.”  I wasn’t sad or disappointed. I didn’t feel shame. I was just stating the facts. And yet…

“What did I talk about?” I asked him laughing, recalling the Spirit’s mighty presence surrounding the women.  Chuck’s blue eyes and response burned right through me. “You told them exactly what God wanted them to hear!”

(Lord, thank you for this redeemed co-heir, partner, coach, friend and husband.)

“Well then, I just need to write out the rest of what I left out then.”  And he ardently agreed.

It matters because God is telling a powerful story. When you registered for the UE, you weren’t connecting to me. You were responding to the Spirit of the Living God.  So for the next several days, let’s see what else He has to pour out.

Today the pressing topic is God’s utter satisfaction in you.  I heard from women afterwards, and even on my team, the concern and fear that God is displeased, disappointed, frustrated, or “tired of my sh#@!”  When the presence of the Lord is so strong, we often see our shortcomings, deficits, ruts and rebellions all the more clearly. But God.

It is God’s glory  that exposes, overshadows, and covers our human-ness. It is His glory that stirs something in us to ache for “farther up and farther in.”  And it is our inward groan for “more” that should be our greatest encouragement.

The only reason we long for someone’s  total embrace of our true selves,  total acceptance of our good and bad sides,  total filling of a perfect love, and total forgiveness for the seen and unseen sin, is because deep inside we suspect we are more than we appear. God is not like us, but we are made in His image and our spirits hunger for the reality of Him. Dead people don’t worry about sin. “The love of Christ  compels” us to be like Him.

We have an internal hard drive that runs best when we are living out of His embrace, acceptance, fullness and forgiveness. So if our enemy can convince us or distract us by believing less, desiring less,  enjoying less, then he has us right where he wants us: Doubting the Love of God.

The best thing you can claim today is God’s perfect, joyful, continuous, unconditional delight in you. Not because of who you are, but because of Whose you are.

The Infinite God of Endless Delight.

 

Working for the Breakthrough

/ Jana / Leave a comment

Marriage is hard. Fun. Exhausting. Enjoyable. Maddening. Titillating. Boring. Hilarious. Numbing. Satisfying.

How can one relationship be all these things? Why would God set up this structure? Was He looking for cruel amusement. Or cosmic transformation?

God loves marriage. More than we do, I think. Perhaps it is because He sees more than we do. And He knows what He is capable of when He is invited INTO a marriage.

Chuck and I passed the 20 year mark last year. I mean, in all seriousness, it was an act of God. I can’t believe how different we are now, and how glad I am that we kept believing for more. Maybe it is that God kept believing for more.  Just like this photo, He broke through our hard hearts, and brought new life. More than we could have asked or imagined.

And in this last year, I have watched many marriages fall apart. There is grace and hope of course. But what about your marriage?

Would you like see God perform a miracle? Then press into your marriage and beg Him for transformation. It won’t be easy or pretty. But it will be worth it. Get some godly counsel. Learn how to do marriage God-style. Take a great big dose of humility. It is the best medicine around for marriages, hurting or thriving.

And, I have just 2 or 3 spaces left for the True Intimacy Marriage Retreat. If you need a little help, or a great big dose of Jesus, we would love for you to join us next weekend. It is never too late for God to be God in your marriage.

 

Reorder Your Life.

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This is a weighty statement. It is not one you can just blow past or check off. But when the question is: how can I live my life with more of You, more peace, more connection, and this is God’s answer…what do you do? What will you do?

It stopped me cold in my tracks.

If minutiae is a demonic distraction, if fretting is evil, if my busyness  just avoids the rest and trust in the Almighty, if there is more and all I have to do is reorder my life — then how and where do I begin?

This blows new year’s resolutions right out of the water. This requires a surrender of supposed needs, desires, wants, isms, have-to’s and ought-to’s.

Think of Abraham. Think of Deborah. Think of Paul.  Their lives were as loaded, strained, demanding, and draining as ours. And, God totally interrupted their lives for a holy calling. I don’t think the calling was the “outcome.”  I think the calling was saying yes when God asked them: Will you do whatever I ask? This is before the outcome was known. Maybe we deceive ourselves and think we will respond to God when He calls us to “big” things. But it is the “yes” in the moment He is after. Will you lay aside whatever YOU think is important to follow Him?

Think of Jesus.  He actually knew and understood the outcome of His calling. Yet he was not hurried. He was not distracted from the person in front of Him, though the masses pressed in. Nor was He distracted by the person in front of Him, though they wanted  more and more from Him. He was utterly present, and completely surrendered to His Father to live and move according to His will. His surrendered intimacy changed and challenged the status quo. He lived a “reordered” life. We can too.

But it might kill us in the process.  What I mean is, it might kill the whims and excuses, the fads and phones, the complaints and crammed calendars. How about just keeping up with all the “stuff”?  I don’t know about you, but I am ready for some of this to die off, not to become monks or hermits and withdraw from life. But to shed the layers of lies that keep us from our God and each other.

He and I are still talking about exactly how to “reorder” when I have obligations and others depending on me. But the first step was my “yes.” Yes Jesus, I am willing to do whatever it takes to have more of You.  I will gladly trade the American manic panic lifestyle if I can have more of His presence.  How about you?

 

The Manger Moment: The Common Denominator

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The manger scene is a wonder to ponder with the poorest of the poor in the shepherds and the richest of the rich in the magi. What a spectrum of humanity it is. Not unlike our own spectrum of Salvation Army bells ringing for donations and registers ringing up designer gadgets and clothing. Yet we will all come to “the moment.” And it will be the same moment for us all, rich or poor.

The gifts will all been opened, and the glee for the “next” will subside.  From the meager gifts of the Angel Tree recipients to the gaudy gifts of the materialists,  the packages will lie unwrapped in a heap, exposed for what they are: more stuff.

And then the moment comes. The manger moment.  In that split second  we ask, we all ask, whether young or old, wealthy or wanting, we ask, “is this all there is?”

This is the very answer they were given at the manger.  Here, wrapped in his mother’s arms, “is all there is.” Jesus is the all in all. He is the first and the last. The rich who became poor only to become rich. He is ancient of Days who became a newborn, the servant who became King. The crucified who rose again. He is the embodiment of the question “is this all there is?” To which He boldly answers, Yes I am. I am the way the truth and the life.

A new song on the radio declares a glorious truth much like the angels did on that first morning:  “our Salvation has a name.”

He is Jesus, Savior,
Son of God, the King of Kings.”
Our salvation has a name.

Jesus, Savior,
Precious Lord of Everything.
Our whole world’s about to change,
And it will never be the same.

He  is one thing that binds us all together… “But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people.” Luke 2:10  Beyond the gifts, and the goodies, and the yummies, and the laughter, tears, torment, and longings, Jesus is the great joy that fills in our spirits like no gift card can. Jesus is joy. And He is ours for the taking, if we will only believe.

Don’t miss the answer of the manger moment. Our world will never be the same. Your world will never be the same.