Yes or No, both are Good

Sometimes it is good to state the obvious.

My kids still act shocked by it, but on occasion, I tell them “No.”  I usually have  a good reason, or insight, or hunch that they may, or may not see– or agree with. But the answer remains a no. And, I still love them. I have begun saying to them, “My No is as loving as my Yes.” I want to plant in them that I am not mad when I say no. I am not delighting to torment them, or purposely spoiling their idea of fun.

As a parent, I have to look at the big picture, the overall story of what they want  and what I want, who else is involved, the long term effects, even the unforeseen consequences or rewards. Out of love, I tell them–yes. Out of love, I tell them– no. But both are love. My kids Love my yes answers. I get all kinds of gleeful responses. My no answers are not greeted with such enthusiasm.

I ask my kids to trust me even if they disagree. I ask them to trust that I am moving out of heart of love for them. Obvious, right?

Now if I do that so imperfectly, how much more trustworthy is Our Father? When the Spirit tells us ‘no, you can’t have that, do that, go there, say that,’ how much love is He showing us? He cares so much for us that He walks with us, in us. He says because of His goodness and abundance we can run full out.

God says with a smiling whisper, “Go!”  When we fall, no worries, He is there. Just get back up and keep running.

But then He says—no, stop, wait. He wants us to respond with as much love and affection as we do when He says run full out.  Picture His face when He says no.  Is He scowling, condemning, smirking, or ridiculing? God forbid.

He is still smiling, with a secret twinkle in His eyes, and whispers, “No. But trust Me. I can only give you good.”

God does say “no.” And He still loves you. It’s obvious. But we need to translate it rightly. His no is as loving as His yes.

A Wedding, a Baby Shower and a Funeral

Within a month I will have attended all three of these life events. These reality checks should be mandatory once a year for every human being. Why? Because they remind us of promises and futures. They give us perspective on our choices, and what we are sowing and reaping. And, if our hearts are beating at all, we will cry at all three.

Take weddings for example. The bride and groom’s ardent affection make me remember when love was new and the wounds not yet inflicted. I need to remember the helplessly giddy feelings—and cry. Am I still willing to give my heart to my husband with abandon?  But their beaming faces also make me smile because I know, with God’s grace over time, those fresh, gushing promises of forever love and good behavior will turn into more than they could imagine. The wish for “happily ever after” will become a deep reservoir of victories and defeats, little deaths and resurrections, a history of two lives being melded into one. Love is transformed from shallow rapids in a stream into deep still waters.

Baby showers are bittersweet too. Reading the fear and panic on the faces of new moms, or moms again, remind me of just how fast time flies and just how faithful God is. You only have to be a few miles down the road to realize that the sweet cuddles are gone in a moment. Did I stop long enough to enjoy them? Did I plant the seeds of loving God in my children? The messes, questions and hopes of those beginning years will soon be whispers in our memory. God really is big enough to be God to our children, not just to us.  And He will be their God even in our bad moments and failures.

Fortunately, this funeral celebrated a woman who loved God. So we did “not grieve as they who have no hope.” It was a refreshing change to celebrate a life well-walked with Jesus. It caused me to pause and reflect. Am I living in such a way that people know I love God? Not works. Just fruit. This woman had a beautiful display of fruit in the testimonies of others’ lives.

In contrast, the last several funerals I’ve attended have been for unbelievers or spiritual fence-sitters. It is amazing how we speak with gymnastic prowess around death when hell is very real.  None of us can bear the thought of eternal separation from God, yet those people chose separation from Him in this life.  Here is a hard question. If you don’t want to be with Jesus now, why would you want to go to heaven and be with Him forever?

When I die, I  don’t want the speakers to be hanging on some tightrope that I am with Jesus based on some long forgotten church experience. I told Chuck, “If I go first, you tell the people at my funeral that there is no question about whose I am and where I am. I am with my Lover and I had just talked to Him the day I died.”   Chuck laughed and shook his head. “I know honey, I know.”

Life well in Christ so you can die well Christ.

Don’t sleepwalk through your life. Examine, reflect, celebrate, change course. Plant God and harvest His life.

Don’t work more, worship more.

I am reading this AMAZING book called, Compelled by Love, by Heidi Baker. She and her husband are lovers of Jesus and they pour out their lives to orphans in Mozambique, Africa. She says the poor and orphaned have taught her how to love. Talk about a paradigm shift.

Beyond her degrees, Powerpoints, and fundraising back up plans, she said that they have entered into the Life of Jesus — only. If God doesn’t show up, there is no food. If God doesn’t show up, there is no healing. If God doesn’t show up, they have no protection. So they worship… in everything. And God often responds in miracles and wonderful outpourings that many of us would have trouble believing. But her first goal, her first action, her first response is worship. She knows that the Presence of God is the only way she can live in the pressing need all around her.

Last night, I sat on my bed reading her God stories and just cried.  Cried over the goodness of God. Cried over the way I get distracted and faithless.  Cried over the groan and ache I have for more of Jesus, and yet –I still want my stuff, my way, my comfort.

Then I turned the page and saw a quote from Mother Teresa. She was asked how she managed to face the overwhelming needs day after day. She said:
“My secret is very simple: I pray. Through prayer I become one in love with Christ.

Prayer is not asking. Prayer is putting oneself in the hands of God, at His disposition, and listening to His voice in the depths of our heart.”

At first I read this and was so comforted. But then I looked at the “overwhelming needs” of my day. And I wanted to throw up.

Am I feeding the poor? Caring for orphans? Am I doing something besides being distracted by the lies of my culture (more stuff, more bills, more beauty products)  and seeking entertainment? (Do I even pray about my  “friends” on Facebook? )

Will I invest even one honest season of worship in His presence without all the Christian trappings and just look for His face?

I would love to tell you, Yes, Yes, Yes. But I’m not so sure I can. What I can tell you is that I closed the book and began to pray. First I confessed my willingness to settle for the “pressure of the world” rather than seeking His power in my world. I thanked Him for the blessings of food, shelter, and abundance. When compared to most of the world, I live like a queen. And I can be as demanding and as ungrateful as a queen also. So I thanked Him for His grace and patience with me.

Then I began to pray for the poor and orphaned— in my life. Men and women who are poor in spirit, the people who in live life without the Father’s assurance. They (we) all need to be fed and comforted just like the abandoned ones in countries thousands of mile away. Then my heart turned to just speaking who He is, and how much I need Him and love Him, that He is the answer to all.

He is our greatest ache and groan.

Finally, I just sat in silence. And His presence came.

What did it feel like? Peace. Enveloping, warm, full of light. Peace. Peace that doesn’t always make sense or add up. “Peace that transcends understanding.” But a blanket of “I love you” just draped around me.

His Presence changes things. Our worship stirs His heart and then He stirs ours. He rights our view of our little world when we are reminded, again, it is His world. He is the loving King of all with not only the power but the desire to be God to us and for us.

Today, don’t plan a little more or work a little harder. Worship a little more. And watch God move.

Render Miracles of Our Sin

What a crazy call.  A friend of mine who had completely given up hope on her marriage called to tell me that God had changed her heart. You have to understand how radical this is. They are separated. They have been at war for years. And the last time we talked, my friend and I were trying to process how to go through the death of a marriage in a graceful way, like walking through a funeral.

And now, a couple of weeks later she is different. Completely different. “I do want to be married…and to him!” she said through choking words. She sees now that she had never been willing to do what it would take to make her marriage work. “I have never been willing to change myself.  I always wanted him to change.”

We pray her estranged husband  will try again too, but watching the Lord soften and heal and completely renovate this wife’s heart is faith building. You can’t believe how bad this story has been.  I listened to her recent revelation with the Lord and  I was dumbfounded. And humbled. She said “I thought about you and Chuck and what God has done.” She named two other mutual friends’ marriages that God had resurrected from dry bones. “If God could heal you all, as bad as you were, then maybe there is something I’m missing here,” she said.

As I relayed the good news to Chuck, we both just sat on the phone stunned. “That’s crazy,” he said. “I mean, who would have believed that this could happen?” Many of us have prayed for breakthrough and deliverance. But when the husband moved out, we felt like it was  over and dead. But God. I am glad that God has enough faith  for all of us.

“It’s a miracle. Really. It is a miracle in our midst,” I said quietly.

Three things  stir in my heart. Share your God stories. No matter how messy and ugly and painful. If God has been God to you through heartache, if you have a story of dry bones brought back to life, then breathe that glory out on others.

At Yes and Amen we talked a lot about the power of God to breathe new life on dead bones. All around the room you could see women sharing their stories. Eating disorders  now healed, marriages being restored, parent relationships being bridged… God’s heart is to heal us all if we will only ask and believe Him to move. And we need to hear that God is still God. Share your stories even if they are not “happily ever after” yet. By faith, we must keep on believing and speaking all that God is doing.

The second thing is hold onto the power of redemption. Really, really. The power of God put on display is not when we do it “Just Right” and He gives us a pat on the back. He does love our maturing in Him for sure. But until we mature, or as we mature, He loves when we bring everything to Him to restore and renew and well—to Be God. God is constantly wanting to be God for us, if we will only ask, believe and receive.

There is a beautiful line in a Caedmon’s Call song called “Carry Your Love.” It says, “change us from within/ render miracles from our sin.”  Only God can do that —take our sin and turn it in to something beautiful for His glory.  That word render  is so potent. Look it up sometime. “To melt down, to give in return, to transmit to another.”

All of those are so different in meaning but so God. His glory melts our sin and converts it into something mold-able in His Hands. He gives us beauty in return for ashes. We give him mess and brokenness, He gives us more of Himself, full of joy, possibility, new mercies. He transmits His very life into our own. Remember in Narnia? Aslan would breathe on the children, and their fears would vanish. In place of lack, He would “breathe into them”, transmit to them  His power, His presence.

And third?  Keep your eyes on Jesus.  Keep believing. What are your dead bones? Ask Him to breathe on them and then believe for your own heart change to happen too. May He render miracles of our sin.

Carry Your Love
We are called out; we are ransomed
We are not of the world were in
We are chosen; we are blessed
to bring light to the lives of men
So Father sow your seed
Give us life in community
Wake us from our sleep
This is your time; this is your place
and we are vessels for breaking

Under your grace we are led by your spirt
You have redeemed us by the blood of your son
Send down your word we are eager to hear it
Ready our hearts to cary your love

You are sunlight you are morning
Your the hope of a brand new day
Your are comfort; you are blessing
and you wipe all our tears away
So change us from within
Render miracles from our sin
Remind us once again
This is your time;this is your place
We are vessels for breaking

Under your grace we are led by your spirt
You have redeemed us by the blood of your son
Send down your word we are eager to hear it
Ready our hearts to cary your love

Sweetly Broken Abortion Healing Retreat

“I thought I was over it.”

“I’ve never told anyone.”

“I’m afraid God is punishing me.”

“How can I make this right?”

“How can I forgive…?”

We know how you feel.  We have been there too.Through the fear, nightmares, denial, anger and regrets.

BUT we have passed through to a new place called peace, and true forgiveness.

We are still sad about the fact of our past, but we are no longer held captive by it.

God has shown us there is beauty in our brokenness.

We invite you to a tender, honest and safe weekend to
hear about how to walk forward in freedom.

What you can expect:

Time to process

Time to worship

Time to hear truth

Time to be honest

Time to sort out what’s next?

Teaching and materials by Jana Spicka.

2 night’s lodging at a lake house in Louisville, TN.

Check in at 5pm. First session at 7pm.  Check out Sunday at 11am.

Four meals and snacks. Breakfast, lunch and dinner on Saturday and breakfast on Sunday morning. (Friday night dinner is on your own before first session.)

This is an intimate gathering for 9 women.

CLICK HERE TO REGISTER.

Loving What God Loves

It never fails. After an event as powerful as Unhindered 2012, I began to unpack the car,  my heart, and my notes. “Ah” comes the familiar sigh, as my eyes glanced over the post-it notes I used as speaking cues.

“I forgot that verse.”

“Oh I didn’t show that slide.”

“Wow Lord, I didn’t tell them that story of how You came through for us.”

I had coffee with Chuck this afternoon and ran down the list of what “I didn’t say.”  I wasn’t sad or disappointed. I didn’t feel shame. I was just stating the facts. And yet…

“What did I talk about?” I asked him laughing, recalling the Spirit’s mighty presence surrounding the women.  Chuck’s blue eyes and response burned right through me. “You told them exactly what God wanted them to hear!”

(Lord, thank you for this redeemed co-heir, partner, coach, friend and husband.)

“Well then, I just need to write out the rest of what I left out then.”  And he ardently agreed.

It matters because God is telling a powerful story. When you registered for the UE, you weren’t connecting to me. You were responding to the Spirit of the Living God.  So for the next several days, let’s see what else He has to pour out.

Today the pressing topic is God’s utter satisfaction in you.  I heard from women afterwards, and even on my team, the concern and fear that God is displeased, disappointed, frustrated, or “tired of my sh#@!”  When the presence of the Lord is so strong, we often see our shortcomings, deficits, ruts and rebellions all the more clearly. But God.

It is God’s glory  that exposes, overshadows, and covers our human-ness. It is His glory that stirs something in us to ache for “farther up and farther in.”  And it is our inward groan for “more” that should be our greatest encouragement.

The only reason we long for someone’s  total embrace of our true selves,  total acceptance of our good and bad sides,  total filling of a perfect love, and total forgiveness for the seen and unseen sin, is because deep inside we suspect we are more than we appear. God is not like us, but we are made in His image and our spirits hunger for the reality of Him. Dead people don’t worry about sin. “The love of Christ  compels” us to be like Him.

We have an internal hard drive that runs best when we are living out of His embrace, acceptance, fullness and forgiveness. So if our enemy can convince us or distract us by believing less, desiring less,  enjoying less, then he has us right where he wants us: Doubting the Love of God.

The best thing you can claim today is God’s perfect, joyful, continuous, unconditional delight in you. Not because of who you are, but because of Whose you are.

The Infinite God of Endless Delight.

 

Annual Marriage Retreat

Our annual marriage retreat is scheduled for February 3 – 5, 2012. Register today!

Do you wonder if there are ways to connect more deeply with your mate? Do you long for more intimate connections on every level, emotionally, physically, spiritually? Well so does the Lord. He longs for the two of you to experience intimacy with Him and each other.

This retreat is a time to explore ways to make that connection real.

Whether you are barely speaking, or deeply in love, the intention of this retreat is to help us connect our marriage to God’s heart. Every year the material is different, but the desire is the same, to grow more in love with God and each other.

With all that pulls against you and your marriage, this time away is a chance to discover new ways, new habits, new beginnings that help you grow closer together.

Perfect love casts out fear.” We want to learn how to live in this place for a lifetime.

To hear a testimony from a previous attendee check out the video

Retreat price includes two nights lodging in private suites, 4 meals and teaching sessions.

Retreat will be held at Smokey Mountain Christian Village.

Seeing, and Speaking, Truth

Charis and I were watching a football game with Chuck and of course being bombarded with the ads as well. There were two ads that continued to repeat in the same order every couple of minutes. Then it hit me.

“Charis, watch this ad. What is the guy doing?” I asked. She proceeded to tell me how he  “thinks he is all cool, and doing all that rapping and talking about how good he is because of his shoes. And he got all those different colors. He doesn’t need so many pairs.”

“Do shoes make you cool?” I asked.

“No mom, but that’s all he’s talking about. ”

“Okay now watch this one.”  We sat in silence watching the ad, again, but this time focused on its message even though both ads had already washed over us at least four times before. Pay attention to what you are soaking in.

“Charis do you see the difference between these two men? One is about the outside appearance. He is saying,  what I wear makes me cool. It’s all about him, what he gets, what he wants. But this  second ad is about a man who is giving to others. It is about him being strong and brave because he is serving others. His value is on the inside pouring out.”

Oh, the difference between sports shoes and the Marines. But in a two-minute time capsule the great war was revealed. It’s not the argument surrounding materialism vs the military. Those are secondary opinions. It is the war of shallow self focus vs a surrendered life of sacrifice.  When we think we have to own, or wear, or look on the outside a certain way, to feel right on the inside, we have been deceived by our enemy. It’s that simple.

Our worth is who we are in God, to God, through God. It is the truth we possess on the inside that creates our strength, power, beauty, love. Indeed our worth.

You know this. You just unwrapped Christmas presents. Regardless of the wrapping, you judged the gift by what was IN the box. Not the paper and bows.

You are the dwelling place of the The Most High God. No pair of sneakers will substitute for, or add to, this great gift inside you. And honestly, nothing will satisfy our aching hearts like His presence. Are we seeing, and speaking, this truth to ourselves and the next generation?

Every time we turn our hearts toward heaven, every time we breathe a prayer of thanks, or ask in faith, we are strengthened to live inside out.  May it be so.

“They exchanged the truth about God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator—who is forever praised. Amen.” Romans 1:25

Reorder Your Life.

This is a weighty statement. It is not one you can just blow past or check off. But when the question is: how can I live my life with more of You, more peace, more connection, and this is God’s answer…what do you do? What will you do?

It stopped me cold in my tracks.

If minutiae is a demonic distraction, if fretting is evil, if my busyness  just avoids the rest and trust in the Almighty, if there is more and all I have to do is reorder my life — then how and where do I begin?

This blows new year’s resolutions right out of the water. This requires a surrender of supposed needs, desires, wants, isms, have-to’s and ought-to’s.

Think of Abraham. Think of Deborah. Think of Paul.  Their lives were as loaded, strained, demanding, and draining as ours. And, God totally interrupted their lives for a holy calling. I don’t think the calling was the “outcome.”  I think the calling was saying yes when God asked them: Will you do whatever I ask? This is before the outcome was known. Maybe we deceive ourselves and think we will respond to God when He calls us to “big” things. But it is the “yes” in the moment He is after. Will you lay aside whatever YOU think is important to follow Him?

Think of Jesus.  He actually knew and understood the outcome of His calling. Yet he was not hurried. He was not distracted from the person in front of Him, though the masses pressed in. Nor was He distracted by the person in front of Him, though they wanted  more and more from Him. He was utterly present, and completely surrendered to His Father to live and move according to His will. His surrendered intimacy changed and challenged the status quo. He lived a “reordered” life. We can too.

But it might kill us in the process.  What I mean is, it might kill the whims and excuses, the fads and phones, the complaints and crammed calendars. How about just keeping up with all the “stuff”?  I don’t know about you, but I am ready for some of this to die off, not to become monks or hermits and withdraw from life. But to shed the layers of lies that keep us from our God and each other.

He and I are still talking about exactly how to “reorder” when I have obligations and others depending on me. But the first step was my “yes.” Yes Jesus, I am willing to do whatever it takes to have more of You.  I will gladly trade the American manic panic lifestyle if I can have more of His presence.  How about you?

 

The Manger Moment: The Common Denominator

The manger scene is a wonder to ponder with the poorest of the poor in the shepherds and the richest of the rich in the magi. What a spectrum of humanity it is. Not unlike our own spectrum of Salvation Army bells ringing for donations and registers ringing up designer gadgets and clothing. Yet we will all come to “the moment.” And it will be the same moment for us all, rich or poor.

The gifts will all been opened, and the glee for the “next” will subside.  From the meager gifts of the Angel Tree recipients to the gaudy gifts of the materialists,  the packages will lie unwrapped in a heap, exposed for what they are: more stuff.

And then the moment comes. The manger moment.  In that split second  we ask, we all ask, whether young or old, wealthy or wanting, we ask, “is this all there is?”

This is the very answer they were given at the manger.  Here, wrapped in his mother’s arms, “is all there is.” Jesus is the all in all. He is the first and the last. The rich who became poor only to become rich. He is ancient of Days who became a newborn, the servant who became King. The crucified who rose again. He is the embodiment of the question “is this all there is?” To which He boldly answers, Yes I am. I am the way the truth and the life.

A new song on the radio declares a glorious truth much like the angels did on that first morning:  “our Salvation has a name.”

He is Jesus, Savior,
Son of God, the King of Kings.”
Our salvation has a name.

Jesus, Savior,
Precious Lord of Everything.
Our whole world’s about to change,
And it will never be the same.

He  is one thing that binds us all together… “But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people.” Luke 2:10  Beyond the gifts, and the goodies, and the yummies, and the laughter, tears, torment, and longings, Jesus is the great joy that fills in our spirits like no gift card can. Jesus is joy. And He is ours for the taking, if we will only believe.

Don’t miss the answer of the manger moment. Our world will never be the same. Your world will never be the same.