Freedom

The Long View of God

/ Jana / 1 Comment

Have you ever been somewhere where you can see a long way? Picture in your mind the view from a mountain top. You can see a lot of landscape. Rivers, roads, tree lines, meadows. There are a lot of details and specific markers that help you identify where you are and where you have been.

If you are like me, when you look from the mountain view of your life, you can rattle off many markers that may have shaped your life. School, abuse, addiction, car wreck, divorce, bankruptcy, abortion, buying a house, getting new jobs, losing jobs, getting married, having children, death of loved ones, moving to new cities. These markers act as points on a map tracing our journey. But. There is more.

Here is one of those Holy Buts. If you look at your life and you only see those woundings or events, only see the hurt and scars, you might need to look again.

Many of us have long memories of past hurts and use them as stumbling blocks and excuses to stop us from moving forward. With great precision, we can articulate how this person did this and now we…. Or we say, “I chose this and now I can’t….”

When we do this, we need to look again because we fail to see God’s presence in the exact same life. Do we have a long memory of God’s faithfulness and help? With the same precision, can we articulate, this happened…but God…?  He is, in a word picture, the mountain that we move over and around and through. He is our rock.

God was there. God is there. God will be there.

Was working, is working, will be working for our good.

In the book, The Shack, they pose a question to Mack about why he looks to the future and makes up things that will happen, but he never sees God in the future with him. Our regret about the past, our fear of the day, our anxiety about the future might be radically altered if we zoom out and see God is here.

It is, after all, His world. And we are His people.

Take a moment to pray this prayer out loud over yourself and your loved ones. Take a long view at God. Learn how to recount His presence in  your life. It may help you see better.

O LORD, You have searched me
       and You know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise;  
       You perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down; 
       You are familiar with all my ways.
 Before a word is on my tongue 
       You know it completely, O LORD.
 You hem me in—behind and before; 
       You have laid Your hand upon me.
 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
       too lofty for me to attain.
 Where can I go from Your Spirit?
       Where can I flee from Your presence?
Psalm 139 1-7

Safe or Brave?

/ Jana / 5 Comments

In Just Courage, Gary Haugen asked, “Do you want to be safe or brave?” And then ever so subtly, he asked, “What do you think God wants for you? Safety or bravery?”

These are disturbing questions if you examine them. Let me combine some of Haugen’s thoughts with some ideas of my own that have surfaced. Safety is about control. Safety is about doing life “just so” so that we can predict and determine the outcomes of our lives, our jobs, our families. The desire for safety for the Christian is like the boiling pot for the proverbial frog. It will be the spiritual death of us because it calculates and manipulates all the Life out of us.

We resign ourselves to these small endeavors that are easily managed by our own efforts and rarely tap into the need for an Almighty God. We call this spiritual success because we have planned and prepared, avoided and outmaneuvered any real threat to our well being. We are, deep sigh, safe. We pacify our hunger for more by applauding ourselves with being “responsible.”

Yet all through scripture the only place of safety is in God Himself. Do you think Jesus was calling the disciples to safety or bravery? He said simply, “Follow Me.” Was that responsible? Did they hit the safety wall while following Jesus?  You bet. But they also got to experience life beyond the grocery store and ATM. The feeding of the 5,000. The taxes in a fish’s mouth. You don’t need faith and miracles if you have everything under control.

So then is bravery a reckless abandon, without care or thought of future? Not at all. Bravery is following God where God is working and knowing that apart from God,  you cannot possibly make it happen.  Bravery is laying aside the comforts of life for the compassion of God. Bravery is dependence on God born of a desperate heart. It is the deep understanding that the attempted work is so much beyond the individual, that only God could pull it off. Yet the insanity is, being in His presence doing what only He could accomplish is beyond any man-made satisfaction. Talk about exhilarating.

You know the disciples were scared, but you also know they were blown away by what they saw and experienced of God. Sure it was hard, but our desire for “easy” is an American curse.

To make matters worse, Haugen asked, “How are  you raising your children?  To be safe or brave?” Safe in the cocoon of don’t-get-too-close-to-the-dirty-world because it might rub off? Or brave so that they are equipped and desirous of charging the gates of hell in the name of Jesus?

Assess your life. Ask hard questions and let God answer them. Do you want your lattes? Or do you want to see His Kingdom come on earth as it is in Heaven?

“I run in the path of Your commands for You have set my heart free.” Psalm 119:32

We got trouble: right here in River City

/ Jana / 1 Comment

Does anyone even remember this line from the musical, The Music Man?  All my life I have heard this when bigger-than-life problems hit closer to home than we imagined.  That’s what happened when I read last Saturday’s newspaper headline about sex trafficking.

Sex trafficking? You mean women who choose prostitution as a job? No. Sex slavery. These are predators who steal or buy children then force them to have sex with grown men up to 12-20 times a day. I’m talking 5-12 year old children.  These are predators who ship women across country borders with the promise of a better job. But in reality they steal these women’s passports, take them to places where they don’t know the language, and then beat or rape them into submission. They are sex slaves. Forced to do whatever their oppressors demand.

Now put all this horror right here in little ole Knoxville. Or Atlanta. Or Los Angeles. Or Thailand. When it is your daughter, or son, does it matter what city you live in?

I have been reading like a fiend and meeting people who are making a huge difference in this battle. Let me recommend you read: Just Courage, by Gary Haugen. He asks haunting questions when calling us out of the shadows of Christian apathy and comfort.

Do you want to be safe or brave?

We love, and are made in the image of, the God of justice. We rarely talk about Him like this, but He talks about it all the time.

He has shown you, O man, what is good;
And what does the LORD require of you
But to do justly,
To love mercy,
And to walk humbly with your God?” Micah 6:8

1 million.

That’s how many children are trafficked for sex each year. That doesn’t include the helpless, defenseless women.

I want to just start the conversation. I want to ring the alarm. I want to ask you to ask God to show you what justice means in His opinion. Ask, watch and listen for His answers. Then ask Him what  He has put in you to help bring justice to the world.  If you are alive and you are free, then you have a mission.

Evil triumphs when good men and women do nothing.

Start Your Bulldozer

/ Jana / 1 Comment

Are you looking for three easy steps to freedom? Sorry. I can’t do that. But I can share with you a few tools, a few chisels, God has used in setting me free.

• Worship

If freedom comes where His Spirit is, then ask for His Spirit to come. One way to ask His Spirit to come is through worship—whether that time is spent in silence, driving down the road, or singing. One of my favorite ways to worship is to read scripture and then say it back or sing it back to the Lord. Worship is an attitude of the heart.

• The Word

The Bible is living and active, sharper than any two edged sword. (Hebrews 4:12.) When I feel weak, sad, mad, just yuk, I know that I am starving to death for His truth. I feed on the Word of God. I have learned to expect God to listen to me and to answer me. He has far more to say than we have ever dared to believe. He uses the Scripture in mighty ways. But we must come expecting. Hebrews 10:19-23 challenges us to approach God with confidence and with full assurance because He is faithful to hear us. You cannot live a God life without God’s word.

• Journaling

As we write our story we see His story unfolding. As we write out our words, He reveals His Word in the middle of it. Journaling is a history of all God is doing in our lives. You should see the progress that has been made in my list of “hopeless situations.” In every one of them you can see God’s hand moving. I am so thankful that I wrote them out and then rewrote them with a blessing.  In every situation, God is ever working. For His glory and my good.

Don’t be lazy. And don’t quit. Ask the Lord to show you how to worship Him in a deeper way. Ask the Lord to make you hungry for the Word. Ask Him to reveal Himself to you in a way that you can understand. You should see how many journal entries I have where God has spoken to me through nature. He took something simple that I love and used it to explan things about Himself, or me, or my circumstances.  He is very creative.

Holy Roar

/ Jana / 1 Comment

I have the privilege and honor of watching God rescue people. He rescues them from self hatred, God hatred, addictions, legalism, coping, numbness, unforgiveness, and shame. But He doesn’t just rescue them and set them on the shelf. He wakes them up, washes them off, and then gives them a voice. He restores their glory.

It is a truly beautiful transformation to watch. And sometimes it’s humorous even.  Think about how awkward a butterfly looks as she is trying to get out of a cocoon.  She comes out, butt first, wrangling and wrestling, trying get out of the shadowland she had lived in. But her steadfast goal is to emerge so she can dry her wings in the sun and then FLY!  Well, in the same way, some of the women I see are in the “awkward process.”

These are strong warrior women. The Spirit of God is strong on them and in them. They may be unconscious of their full potential yet. (Aren’t we all?) But they are beginning to step out and step up.  They are wrestling to test their new found strength and courage as they feast on the goodness of God.  But I laughed the other day and told Chuck that some of these dear ones are like fierce lions who charge up to you but when they open their mouths what comes out is a ferocious… “meeeeoooow.”  They are still finding their voice. Their God voice. Their ground shaking, tomb breaking God voice that makes the darkness tremble.

In due season. In due season these women’s voices will rise up and become a Holy Roar. Why does it matter? Because we have the power of Christ beating within these bags of bones. We have His voice and zeal to rescue the perishing, to bring the truths of God to a dying world, to rescue other bound and gagged souls. We must open our mouths and let His words wash over this world.

Here is what I got in my email this morning. One woman’s story out of millions of being sold into the sex trade. Any one else want to lean back their heads and let out a Holy Roar?

Claudia (Click the icon to flip the story pages.)

Release Me

/ Jana / 1 Comment

I woke up with a fragments of a song in my head this morning. I heard it yesterday in Jazzercise and it has been rolling around in my head ever since. And when I looked up the lyrics I almost laughed out loud. Let me explain.

Try to picture this. There are 40 – 50 women. Varying ages, shapes and sizes. Jocks, Rocks, Dancers, Divas. But also there are the Wrinkled, Sagging, Wishful and Wanna-bes. We collectively come together to cheer each other on. We motivate and inspire. All this done by just showing up. And while I am there, working on my outer shell, God works on my inner health.  He motivates and inspires. Not for the goal of perfection in the physical. But for the transforming of my perspective.

You see, every woman there works for the goal of seeing herself beautiful. Not just being beautiful. But SEEING herself as beautiful. Some are satisfied, some are killing themselves trying. Most think it is an endless battle they ultimately lose.

But God shows up to tell anyone who will listen how pleased He is that we are taking care of something He loves so very much. And an odd moment occurs every time I go. When you get us all side by side, sweat by sweat, you can really see the beauty and diversity of God. He has made us. Each one. Every one.   What a lot of people call working out, I call Worship.  Because I kid you not, when I show up to invest in this body that God has given me, He meets me there. And He sings over me. Really. 

In the gym, it is really loud, and the workout is really strenuous. But God will have some line blurt out in the middle of a song. It happens like an answer to the question in my head. It happens a lot. So now, I’ve learned to tune my ear. Instead of it being a random, bizarre experience, it is part of our connection, our conversation.

Yesterday, my question to Him was about how to manage all the desires of my heart and still manage the real life demands that coexist. All I heard was:

Release me, release my body…
blah blah blah

Release me, cause I’m not able to…
blah blah blah

Release me, I just can’t do this myself…
blah blah blah

The remainder of the day, I sang those lines. “Release me.” Release me from my need to demand and control. “Release me, cause I’m not able to” do this life alone, nor do I want to. Release me to see You and feel You. Release me from the lie that it is all up to me, all on me, all about me. “I just can’t do this myself.”

So when those lines surfaced again this morning, I looked up the whole song by Agnes. And it is crazy. This song is about a woman who can’t break away from a bad relationship. It has an “addictive hold.” She has no voice or thought except to be consumed by this man. She “knows it’s wrong” but wants it anyway. So she sings, “Release me…” The problem is who is she asking? There is not an addiction that will release you for the asking, nor a user that will stop using because you are hurting. So we are destined to “do what we do not want to do.” Unless. Unless we ask the Right Person to release us.  There is a Healer, a Warrior, a Savior who died to release us from this body of death.  This Lover longs to see us soar in Him, to be released into all that He has ever created us to be.

Who are you asking to release you? You really can’t do this alone.

Prayer for Restoration

/ laurajones / Leave a comment

Greetings!

Jana is teaching a women’s retreat tonight and part of the day tomorrow.  This song came to heart to pray over her and the women who are there to hear her.  Join us in asking that the Lord would restore souls.  And revel in this truth yourself: He’s called you by a new name.

Blessings!

Laura

RESTORATION SONG by David Brymer

You bring restoration
You bring restoration
You bring restoration
To my soul

You’ve taken my pain
Called me by a new name
You’ve taken my shame
And in it’s place, You give me joy

You take mourning and turn it into dancing
You take weeping and turn it into laughing
You take mourning and turn it into dancing
You take my sadness and turn it into joy

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
You make all things new, all things new

When Words Just Aren’t Enough

/ Jana / Leave a comment

I have been trying to get my words around how the Lord showed up this weekend. We named the retreat “Yes and Amen” 6 weeks ago.  But little did I realize that the title was God foretelling what He was planning to do. We spent the weekend re-discovering the promises of God. That they are Yes and Amen in Christ. But they were not just words on dusty pages. We let those promises fill us with His power and we began to dream again. We dared to sit in His presence and let Him wash away our fears, breathe new life and courage into our hearts.

We began to believe we are more than women. We are His Women created for this time and for a specific God-ordained destiny, with His Holy Spirit power shaping and forming and giving us wings to fly. Because the Holy Spirit dwells in us, “we have been disqualified from mundane and ordinary lives.”  We were made to “shine like stars as we hold out the word of life.”

And shine we did and do and will. Could we have planned any better celebration? One sweet lamb was baptized in the cold mountain water. We all stood there stupified. We had cheered, and prayed, and sung. And we couldn’t leave. We all felt it. The power of God.  You simply did not want to walk away…

Here is a beautiful offering of what happened. To God be the glory…

“Be silent
rejoice
your spirit is cleansed

You are water
free as a rushing river,
no longer dammed, damned
for I am your current

We pour and shift
around boulders
without slowing

A force
in constant motion, stop-less
Obstacles are still, lifeless

can not steal power
when you trust and live
within me

love,
God”
by Michelle Westenberger Carrico

Hitting a Nerve

/ Jana / 2 Comments

It is so much fun to let go of a ball in a pinball machine.  It starts setting off lights and bells everywhere. Such was yesterday’s blog.

Sistahs just like me (members of the round belly club) gave me a resounding Amen.  DING DING DING
Others gently instructed me on how or why to process with understanding. FLASH FLASH

I so love journeying with us in all different places. Nice to know that I am not alone in my frustration; nice to know that others have moved beyond, or never experienced it. But I find I am laughing at us all. In love of course. Not sure there is a right answer on this one.

He is the answer. For me, for you, in the middle of the moment. And you know what? The moments are often ugly and that is okay.  You may not ever get asked that because that might not ever set you off. But I did, and it did.

You see, my Holy Dad set me up.  He knew that reaction was in there, and I did not. Think of it as my own personal “show and tell.”  He showed me what He was seeing so He could tell me how much He loves me and wants to be my everything.  John Dee tells me often, “He wanted me to see what He always knew was there.” Truth in the innermost parts.

And then Jesus came right after the wounding and started reminding me of all of His sweet murmurings in my ear and heart.

As if that was not enough, the Spirit guided me into real revelation…. about “that girl.” Do you have this? The memory, the hurt from middle school, high school, college, the same “that girl” who has showed up all through life. You know the one – she always made you feel like crap. If you let her.

I just took a comprehensive exam yesterday. And you know historically, I don’t test too good.  But I am a quick, quick learner. I love the way He simply won’t let me live in lies. That my friends, round or flat, is freedom.

How about you?  When you blow up, where do you go?

Power of Confession

/ Jana / Leave a comment

I have been having some interesting conversations about confession. In fact, I had this dream about a dear friend of mine who is running hard after freedom. We had had dinner together and she was saying, “I just don’t know what to do next?” That night I dreamed she was sitting in the middle of this swirling wind and a voice kept repeating, “Confess that you may be healed.”

When she began confessing all the hidden places, lies, hurts, people, beliefs, the whirlwind got stronger and stronger around her and began changing colors. She was laughing and crying and confessing.

Did that just weird you out as much as it did me?

But then there is another friend who is trying get free from tragic happenings in her past. Again, “confess” was the word that came to mind for her.

Cliff notes on confession:

Remember that confession is agreeing with God.

It is owning and calling sin by name: people, actions, feelings, etc.

It is being willing to think about sin the way God does.

People think that confession produces condemnation but actually the opposite is true. When we call things what they are, we walk in the light of Truth. Nothing hidden or disguised. No lies. God already knows the truth, He desires that we KNOW the truth that we might be set free.

This can very hard to do with such an enemy on our heels. There is this Fantastic book that addresses head on the enemy’s tactics but it has a Scandalous title. All the church ladies prepare to gasp in offense…(Wait, are there really church ladies reading this blog? Right. So forward ho.)

The book is called “Emotional Bullshit.” There I said it. And I wish I had written it because it captures some really great insight into Denial, Delusion and Blame. The author even calls those three combined tactics the Toxic Trio.

Here is how it works. I am confronted by my own need to take responsibility for an action or belief. I don’t want to confront or own that responsibility so I deny it. Then I create some story that supports my denial, then I blame someone else for what is happening to me.

Let’s use food as an example. (Did I just hear a collective groan?) I am not taking care of my physical body. I am stiff and don’t like the way I look, and I need to lose weight for my health. These are the facts. This is where I need to take 100% responsibility to change my lifestyle so that those three things might change. Exercise and a better diet will decrease the stiffness, change the way I look, and improve my health. I have the power over all of those choices.

BUT: if I refuse to exert my power over those choices, I have to create some story as to WHY I can’t change. So I exaggerate, or fabricate, or procrastinate the circumstances to make up a B.S. story about why I am stuck. And almost ALWAYS my B.S. story will have someone ELSE being the reason or problem, the culprit, the cause of why I can’t change. See if my health is dependent on someone or something else, then I am not responsible for me. Voila’! Emotional Bullshit at its finest.

This is why confession is the key to all things. Confession is a completely counter-flesh concept. Only the Spirit of God leads the spirit to come to the the throne of a merciful God. It is the Spirit who convicts of sin. Not accusation, that is demonic. Not condemnation, that is only part of the enemy’s tactics.

But confession comes from God and returns to God. When you confess with your mouth those things that you are afraid of saying to God, you will be healed. It is His promise to us.

“He who conceals his sins does not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy.” Proverbs: 28:13

So in every day life, not just the stronghold issues we face, but moment by moment, we ask the Lord to sweep our hearts. When He puts His loving finger on that heart attitude or action, word or deed, then we don’t resort to Emotional B.S. but we learn to confess.

“Yes Lord, thank You for showing me that. I see You are making me whole hearted.”

Just watch yourself today. It can be a fun exercise to see how much you shift and squirm to get away from being responsible for your own life…