Forgiveness

A Picture into the Future

/ Jana / 2 Comments

In honor of Mother’s Day, I thought I would post one of my favorite photos of the Spicka Chicks. Shot nearly five years ago,  I love is how this picture captured the “Who” of them before they came to “Be” them.

Salem, the oldest, is the strong, not so silent type.  Her face is full of thought and her gaze on others and life is straight forward. Today, we see this is growing more and more. Charis, the youngest, here is just beginning to “strike a pose.” But now we know that she is  full of color, sass and joy.

I love that God knows them and what they need more than I ever can. I love that God loves being Our Father and that we all get to journey together for a season.

If I had to pick one of the 1000 pictures I have taken over the last fourteen years of this amazing madhouse journey of motherhood, this one stops my heart every time. I love my girls. I love being their mom. And, I am so thankful that God heard my cries and gave me children against all odds.

 

Songs in the Night

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“He will light the way
He will lead us home
As we offer all
To the One who saves us”

The Lord woke me up with this song at 1:30 a.m.  I had gone to bed with a rolling question that needed His answer. And although this didn’t answer the specific, it absolutely answered the deeper, greater questions. Are you with me? Have you got me?

I remembered as I woke up this morning and saw this scribbled on my mirror what the chorus of the song is:

His love endures. Forever His love endures.

To make it even sweeter,  I had great memories of this song.  He and I  had just shared  the most amazing time on Sunday morning with this song. I had to go in the back of church and just sing out and dance in worship of Him. When I sat down Chuck turned and asked me, “Did you  just have a spell?”  Smiling ear to ear, I nodded yes.

How tender of the Lord to use it again in the middle of the night. This is the beauty of worship. Jesus said that true worshipers would worship in spirit and in truth. I don’t think I understood that verse fully until today. Now I see that  He planted that “truth” into my “spirit” on Sunday morning. And in the wee hours of Wednesday, He began harvesting its fruit. Worship is when His truth is deposited into our spirit. It is when our spirits are connected to His Spirit. It changes things in our present moments but also in our futures.

I had to abandon everything Sunday morning to get to that sweet spot with Him. The issues, the preferences, even the grumblings. I had to get to that place of intimacy that all I could see and feel was His presence. The great exchange… Breathe Him in. And watch Him pour back out when you need it most.

Bless you Lord for your amazing love.

The One Who Saves, by Hillsong

Come join the song, lift your voice
As Heaven and Earth give praise
Fall to your knees at the feet
Of the Son of the One true God

Turn from old ways, lift your eyes
For the kingdom of God is here
Open your heart, offer all
For Jesus Christ is here, now

We have found our home
We have found our peace
We have found our rest
In the One who loves

He will light the way
He will lead us home
As we offer all
To the One who saves us

Call on the name that is hope
Jesus, the Son of God
Lord over all, He is good
And His mercy endures always

His love endures
Forever His love endures
Forever His love endures
Forever and ever

Let’s risk the ocean…there’s only grace.

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We have all green lights from God.  All the promises of God are “yes and amen” in Jesus Christ, therefore we can move with ease and confidence in God.  Why does this matter?

So many people are paralyzed about what to do with their lives, what God’s will is, how then should they live, or how are they going to make this work?  They are not paralyzed out of the prospect of handling God’s blessing, they are paralyzed by the fear of losing something, or doing something wrong. But we have green lights from God.

Does that mean that we can do anything sinful that we want? God forbid. However, It does mean that when our hearts are “tuned to sing his praise” and  we are motivated out of love for Him, then we can run full out expecting his favor. And just like in traffic, when danger is present,  a red light appears. God  protects us with a red light when he wants us to stop or sit still.

I have three friends who have stopped dead in their tracks. Not because God has given them a red light, but because they are terrified of just running in His grace. They really don’t trust God to direct and guide and provide, so they are constantly trying to calculate their every action. “I just don’t know what God wants.” they complain.

We can trust  the Holy Spirit to lead us. He uses our aches, groans, hunches and desires to reveal our path. As we mature He leads through the Word  or speaks to us directly. But always He is responsible for getting us to and through our lives.  Therefore we can run in confidence believing our good God will direct our paths.

Listen to the song Sometimes by Dave Crowder. I love the line, “let’s risk the ocean, there’s only grace.”  God stirred that in my heart about four days ago and it is literally haunting me.

What am I willing to risk to follow God? What do I think I will encounter that God won’t handle? How much will I throw myself into His grace? No matter if I choose wrong…there’s only grace.

Check your heart, your plans, your relationships. Are you paralyzed by fear, or are you running in His favor? Your job is to love Him with your whole heart, soul, mind and strength. His job is to take care of everything else. He’s got you.

 

 

A Wedding, a Baby Shower and a Funeral

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Within a month I will have attended all three of these life events. These reality checks should be mandatory once a year for every human being. Why? Because they remind us of promises and futures. They give us perspective on our choices, and what we are sowing and reaping. And, if our hearts are beating at all, we will cry at all three.

Take weddings for example. The bride and groom’s ardent affection make me remember when love was new and the wounds not yet inflicted. I need to remember the helplessly giddy feelings—and cry. Am I still willing to give my heart to my husband with abandon?  But their beaming faces also make me smile because I know, with God’s grace over time, those fresh, gushing promises of forever love and good behavior will turn into more than they could imagine. The wish for “happily ever after” will become a deep reservoir of victories and defeats, little deaths and resurrections, a history of two lives being melded into one. Love is transformed from shallow rapids in a stream into deep still waters.

Baby showers are bittersweet too. Reading the fear and panic on the faces of new moms, or moms again, remind me of just how fast time flies and just how faithful God is. You only have to be a few miles down the road to realize that the sweet cuddles are gone in a moment. Did I stop long enough to enjoy them? Did I plant the seeds of loving God in my children? The messes, questions and hopes of those beginning years will soon be whispers in our memory. God really is big enough to be God to our children, not just to us.  And He will be their God even in our bad moments and failures.

Fortunately, this funeral celebrated a woman who loved God. So we did “not grieve as they who have no hope.” It was a refreshing change to celebrate a life well-walked with Jesus. It caused me to pause and reflect. Am I living in such a way that people know I love God? Not works. Just fruit. This woman had a beautiful display of fruit in the testimonies of others’ lives.

In contrast, the last several funerals I’ve attended have been for unbelievers or spiritual fence-sitters. It is amazing how we speak with gymnastic prowess around death when hell is very real.  None of us can bear the thought of eternal separation from God, yet those people chose separation from Him in this life.  Here is a hard question. If you don’t want to be with Jesus now, why would you want to go to heaven and be with Him forever?

When I die, I  don’t want the speakers to be hanging on some tightrope that I am with Jesus based on some long forgotten church experience. I told Chuck, “If I go first, you tell the people at my funeral that there is no question about whose I am and where I am. I am with my Lover and I had just talked to Him the day I died.”   Chuck laughed and shook his head. “I know honey, I know.”

Life well in Christ so you can die well Christ.

Don’t sleepwalk through your life. Examine, reflect, celebrate, change course. Plant God and harvest His life.

Don’t work more, worship more.

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I am reading this AMAZING book called, Compelled by Love, by Heidi Baker. She and her husband are lovers of Jesus and they pour out their lives to orphans in Mozambique, Africa. She says the poor and orphaned have taught her how to love. Talk about a paradigm shift.

Beyond her degrees, Powerpoints, and fundraising back up plans, she said that they have entered into the Life of Jesus — only. If God doesn’t show up, there is no food. If God doesn’t show up, there is no healing. If God doesn’t show up, they have no protection. So they worship… in everything. And God often responds in miracles and wonderful outpourings that many of us would have trouble believing. But her first goal, her first action, her first response is worship. She knows that the Presence of God is the only way she can live in the pressing need all around her.

Last night, I sat on my bed reading her God stories and just cried.  Cried over the goodness of God. Cried over the way I get distracted and faithless.  Cried over the groan and ache I have for more of Jesus, and yet –I still want my stuff, my way, my comfort.

Then I turned the page and saw a quote from Mother Teresa. She was asked how she managed to face the overwhelming needs day after day. She said:
“My secret is very simple: I pray. Through prayer I become one in love with Christ.

Prayer is not asking. Prayer is putting oneself in the hands of God, at His disposition, and listening to His voice in the depths of our heart.”

At first I read this and was so comforted. But then I looked at the “overwhelming needs” of my day. And I wanted to throw up.

Am I feeding the poor? Caring for orphans? Am I doing something besides being distracted by the lies of my culture (more stuff, more bills, more beauty products)  and seeking entertainment? (Do I even pray about my  “friends” on Facebook? )

Will I invest even one honest season of worship in His presence without all the Christian trappings and just look for His face?

I would love to tell you, Yes, Yes, Yes. But I’m not so sure I can. What I can tell you is that I closed the book and began to pray. First I confessed my willingness to settle for the “pressure of the world” rather than seeking His power in my world. I thanked Him for the blessings of food, shelter, and abundance. When compared to most of the world, I live like a queen. And I can be as demanding and as ungrateful as a queen also. So I thanked Him for His grace and patience with me.

Then I began to pray for the poor and orphaned— in my life. Men and women who are poor in spirit, the people who in live life without the Father’s assurance. They (we) all need to be fed and comforted just like the abandoned ones in countries thousands of mile away. Then my heart turned to just speaking who He is, and how much I need Him and love Him, that He is the answer to all.

He is our greatest ache and groan.

Finally, I just sat in silence. And His presence came.

What did it feel like? Peace. Enveloping, warm, full of light. Peace. Peace that doesn’t always make sense or add up. “Peace that transcends understanding.” But a blanket of “I love you” just draped around me.

His Presence changes things. Our worship stirs His heart and then He stirs ours. He rights our view of our little world when we are reminded, again, it is His world. He is the loving King of all with not only the power but the desire to be God to us and for us.

Today, don’t plan a little more or work a little harder. Worship a little more. And watch God move.

Render Miracles of Our Sin

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What a crazy call.  A friend of mine who had completely given up hope on her marriage called to tell me that God had changed her heart. You have to understand how radical this is. They are separated. They have been at war for years. And the last time we talked, my friend and I were trying to process how to go through the death of a marriage in a graceful way, like walking through a funeral.

And now, a couple of weeks later she is different. Completely different. “I do want to be married…and to him!” she said through choking words. She sees now that she had never been willing to do what it would take to make her marriage work. “I have never been willing to change myself.  I always wanted him to change.”

We pray her estranged husband  will try again too, but watching the Lord soften and heal and completely renovate this wife’s heart is faith building. You can’t believe how bad this story has been.  I listened to her recent revelation with the Lord and  I was dumbfounded. And humbled. She said “I thought about you and Chuck and what God has done.” She named two other mutual friends’ marriages that God had resurrected from dry bones. “If God could heal you all, as bad as you were, then maybe there is something I’m missing here,” she said.

As I relayed the good news to Chuck, we both just sat on the phone stunned. “That’s crazy,” he said. “I mean, who would have believed that this could happen?” Many of us have prayed for breakthrough and deliverance. But when the husband moved out, we felt like it was  over and dead. But God. I am glad that God has enough faith  for all of us.

“It’s a miracle. Really. It is a miracle in our midst,” I said quietly.

Three things  stir in my heart. Share your God stories. No matter how messy and ugly and painful. If God has been God to you through heartache, if you have a story of dry bones brought back to life, then breathe that glory out on others.

At Yes and Amen we talked a lot about the power of God to breathe new life on dead bones. All around the room you could see women sharing their stories. Eating disorders  now healed, marriages being restored, parent relationships being bridged… God’s heart is to heal us all if we will only ask and believe Him to move. And we need to hear that God is still God. Share your stories even if they are not “happily ever after” yet. By faith, we must keep on believing and speaking all that God is doing.

The second thing is hold onto the power of redemption. Really, really. The power of God put on display is not when we do it “Just Right” and He gives us a pat on the back. He does love our maturing in Him for sure. But until we mature, or as we mature, He loves when we bring everything to Him to restore and renew and well—to Be God. God is constantly wanting to be God for us, if we will only ask, believe and receive.

There is a beautiful line in a Caedmon’s Call song called “Carry Your Love.” It says, “change us from within/ render miracles from our sin.”  Only God can do that —take our sin and turn it in to something beautiful for His glory.  That word render  is so potent. Look it up sometime. “To melt down, to give in return, to transmit to another.”

All of those are so different in meaning but so God. His glory melts our sin and converts it into something mold-able in His Hands. He gives us beauty in return for ashes. We give him mess and brokenness, He gives us more of Himself, full of joy, possibility, new mercies. He transmits His very life into our own. Remember in Narnia? Aslan would breathe on the children, and their fears would vanish. In place of lack, He would “breathe into them”, transmit to them  His power, His presence.

And third?  Keep your eyes on Jesus.  Keep believing. What are your dead bones? Ask Him to breathe on them and then believe for your own heart change to happen too. May He render miracles of our sin.

Carry Your Love
We are called out; we are ransomed
We are not of the world were in
We are chosen; we are blessed
to bring light to the lives of men
So Father sow your seed
Give us life in community
Wake us from our sleep
This is your time; this is your place
and we are vessels for breaking

Under your grace we are led by your spirt
You have redeemed us by the blood of your son
Send down your word we are eager to hear it
Ready our hearts to cary your love

You are sunlight you are morning
Your the hope of a brand new day
Your are comfort; you are blessing
and you wipe all our tears away
So change us from within
Render miracles from our sin
Remind us once again
This is your time;this is your place
We are vessels for breaking

Under your grace we are led by your spirt
You have redeemed us by the blood of your son
Send down your word we are eager to hear it
Ready our hearts to cary your love

Sweetly Broken Abortion Healing Retreat

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“I thought I was over it.”

“I’ve never told anyone.”

“I’m afraid God is punishing me.”

“How can I make this right?”

“How can I forgive…?”

We know how you feel.  We have been there too.Through the fear, nightmares, denial, anger and regrets.

BUT we have passed through to a new place called peace, and true forgiveness.

We are still sad about the fact of our past, but we are no longer held captive by it.

God has shown us there is beauty in our brokenness.

We invite you to a tender, honest and safe weekend to
hear about how to walk forward in freedom.

What you can expect:

Time to process

Time to worship

Time to hear truth

Time to be honest

Time to sort out what’s next?

Teaching and materials by Jana Spicka.

2 night’s lodging at a lake house in Louisville, TN.

Check in at 5pm. First session at 7pm.  Check out Sunday at 11am.

Four meals and snacks. Breakfast, lunch and dinner on Saturday and breakfast on Sunday morning. (Friday night dinner is on your own before first session.)

This is an intimate gathering for 9 women.

CLICK HERE TO REGISTER.

A New Spin on Forgiveness

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I love it when the Holy Spirit blows me up. He keeps bringing revelation about love and forgiveness. At Yes and Amen  the Lord  called for us to fall in love with Him.  How do we love Him more? At WGR class last Tuesday, we looked at the parable Jesus told about the two debtors.

“Two people owed money to a certain moneylender. One owed him five hundred denarii, and the other fifty. Neither of them had the money to pay him back, so he forgave the debts of both. Now which of them will love him more?”

Simon replied, “I suppose the one who had the bigger debt forgiven.”

“You have judged correctly,” Jesus said. (Luke 7:41)

Jesus used this parable to challenge the hard-hearted homeowner who scorned the woman washing Jesus’s feet with her tears.  The bottom line is he who has been forgiven much, loves much. Jesus directly equates our ability to love with our willingness to receive forgiveness from God. But there’s more.

Sunday morning, I was in a wad  before church and  journaled out some confusion and frustrations in relationships. The Lord spoke that forgiveness was the key. So I wrote out the names of the strained relationships and asked the Lord to bring forgiveness to bear in the hearts involved. Then, what was the topic at church on Sunday morning?

Yes, a message on forgiveness. There were  new pieces revealed in this conversation with the Lord even as the pastor was speaking.

The pastor, Scott Hughes,  taught out of Luke 9 where Jesus said that if we are to follow him, we must take up our cross daily. I began to groan under the hint of “work it up” theology, but  Scott quickly commented how misunderstood this verse is. He broke down the meaning. The cross is a symbol of God’s love, the sacrifice of Jesus, the total forgiveness of our sin, but also the sin of every person in the world.  The cross means I’m forgiven, but so is the person I have conflict with.

So when we take up our cross daily, we take up, we carry around with us, the weight, the meaning, the reality, of God’s love and his total forgiveness. We carry the cross so we think rightly about our relationship with God and our total acceptance by Him. But we also carry the cross as a reminder that the others in our lives, even the ones we want to punch in the face, are also dearly loved and forgiven by God.

Then the Lord added His beautiful touch of revelation and the pieces starting connecting together like magnets pulling pins together.

He brought back a memory from another sermon from a few Easter’s ago. Greg Pinkner had fish tank on the stage and illustrated the story of the ax head being raised up out of the river. He said it was a picture of the resurrection of Christ. Greg had a blooming dogwood branch in his hand. As as he taught — about things begin buried, out of reach, and should not be able to be raised up, things like an ax head, like our sin, like  the crucified man named Jesus—he would push the dogwood branch down to the bottom of the water and hold it there.

But as he talked about the power of God, the power of His word, the heart of God to restore all things, Pinkner would release the branch and it would spring back to the surface of the water. The branch could not stay submerged. It had to come to the surface. He did this three or four times. By the third time, I wanted to stand up and yell HALLELUJAH!!! God has taken our sin and our separation and by His own Hand, He buried it in Jesus, once and for all. And then by His own mercy, He called Jesus back out of the grave and us with Him! Jesus could not stay in the grave!

So the cross isn’t just a sign of death. It is a sign of Life. New Life. Resurrected Life. When we pick up our cross daily we can take our offenses and hurts and “bury them” in the Cross of Jesus. He will bring new life where there was only death and separation before. And part of His new life, is an increased love for Him and for others because of this beautiful forgiven and resurrected life.

Oh the beauty of the Forgiving Father! The power of the Resurrected Christ! The promise of the Wonderful Counselor who leads us into increasing freedom with others, and from others.

Could we love others more if we forgave more? Could we love others more if we embraced how much we have been forgiven by God? May God grant us eyes to see and ears to hear all that He has in store for us through His love.

Working for the Breakthrough

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Marriage is hard. Fun. Exhausting. Enjoyable. Maddening. Titillating. Boring. Hilarious. Numbing. Satisfying.

How can one relationship be all these things? Why would God set up this structure? Was He looking for cruel amusement. Or cosmic transformation?

God loves marriage. More than we do, I think. Perhaps it is because He sees more than we do. And He knows what He is capable of when He is invited INTO a marriage.

Chuck and I passed the 20 year mark last year. I mean, in all seriousness, it was an act of God. I can’t believe how different we are now, and how glad I am that we kept believing for more. Maybe it is that God kept believing for more.  Just like this photo, He broke through our hard hearts, and brought new life. More than we could have asked or imagined.

And in this last year, I have watched many marriages fall apart. There is grace and hope of course. But what about your marriage?

Would you like see God perform a miracle? Then press into your marriage and beg Him for transformation. It won’t be easy or pretty. But it will be worth it. Get some godly counsel. Learn how to do marriage God-style. Take a great big dose of humility. It is the best medicine around for marriages, hurting or thriving.

And, I have just 2 or 3 spaces left for the True Intimacy Marriage Retreat. If you need a little help, or a great big dose of Jesus, we would love for you to join us next weekend. It is never too late for God to be God in your marriage.

 

Seeing, and Speaking, Truth

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Charis and I were watching a football game with Chuck and of course being bombarded with the ads as well. There were two ads that continued to repeat in the same order every couple of minutes. Then it hit me.

“Charis, watch this ad. What is the guy doing?” I asked. She proceeded to tell me how he  “thinks he is all cool, and doing all that rapping and talking about how good he is because of his shoes. And he got all those different colors. He doesn’t need so many pairs.”

“Do shoes make you cool?” I asked.

“No mom, but that’s all he’s talking about. ”

“Okay now watch this one.”  We sat in silence watching the ad, again, but this time focused on its message even though both ads had already washed over us at least four times before. Pay attention to what you are soaking in.

“Charis do you see the difference between these two men? One is about the outside appearance. He is saying,  what I wear makes me cool. It’s all about him, what he gets, what he wants. But this  second ad is about a man who is giving to others. It is about him being strong and brave because he is serving others. His value is on the inside pouring out.”

Oh, the difference between sports shoes and the Marines. But in a two-minute time capsule the great war was revealed. It’s not the argument surrounding materialism vs the military. Those are secondary opinions. It is the war of shallow self focus vs a surrendered life of sacrifice.  When we think we have to own, or wear, or look on the outside a certain way, to feel right on the inside, we have been deceived by our enemy. It’s that simple.

Our worth is who we are in God, to God, through God. It is the truth we possess on the inside that creates our strength, power, beauty, love. Indeed our worth.

You know this. You just unwrapped Christmas presents. Regardless of the wrapping, you judged the gift by what was IN the box. Not the paper and bows.

You are the dwelling place of the The Most High God. No pair of sneakers will substitute for, or add to, this great gift inside you. And honestly, nothing will satisfy our aching hearts like His presence. Are we seeing, and speaking, this truth to ourselves and the next generation?

Every time we turn our hearts toward heaven, every time we breathe a prayer of thanks, or ask in faith, we are strengthened to live inside out.  May it be so.

“They exchanged the truth about God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator—who is forever praised. Amen.” Romans 1:25