A friend of mine came to visit after a disturbing message at her church. She said the pastor used the Genesis curse to say that “your desire will be for your husband” meant that women would want to control and manipulate men. This really bothered her. And me too.

As I was researching the meaning of word desire the Lord revealed a whole other truth about His love for us. Look at the cross reference verse used to describe this desire, this aching.

“I am my beloved’s and his desire is toward me” (Song of Songs 7:10)

This is the same “desire” from Genesis. It struck me as so bizarre. Of all the interpretations frequently used to describe the curse of the woman’s desire, with most of them saying it means that she fights for power, I have never heard this Scripture cited.

Do you know what women want more than anything?

(Control! the men shout. Nope.)

She longs for adoration. For pure desire. Being enthralled with her and only her. To be the One of ones. To be fully realized and known and appreciated. Why would that be part of the curse?

Because that’s how it was before the fall. Before the fall she was full of the knowledge of God, full of the companionship with man, fully complete. Dare I say it, could it be that on this side of the cross, Adam and Eve had no need. They were full.

And now the woman is craving, empty, longing, aching. Remember the haunting from the first chapters? You could thank our mother Eve for that legacy.

But on the other hand, stop and consider what this could possibly mean—God has this kind of strong desire kind for me.

For you.

“I am my beloved’s and his desire is toward me” (Song of Songs 7:10)

Have you ever considered that God aches for you, the way you ache for a man?

This is why being freed from the curse is so critical to our hearts. We were made for desire. Because we were made in the image of a God of desire.

And He longs to fill our desire.

Men and women place all this need and weight on each other when they live out of the curse. Her desire is for him, his desire is to rule. They both fail because neither were created to meet this “need” in the other.

No wonder this is a sick relational cycle.

Before you get too depressed let me tell you the good news. Contrary to popular opinions, we no longer live under the curse. Even in the garden there was hope.

Jesus came to restore the blessing. He came to destroy the efforts of the devil and break the yoke of the curse.

There is a much, much more to us than scraping for the man’s attention. Much more to marriage than bickering about who is the boss. There is more of Jesus in us than we can possibly bear.

Let’s Get Real Here:

What are your desires that you’ve never even dared to hope Jesus could fill?