Blog

In Conflict, Check the Love Switch

/ Jana / 1 Comment

How do we repair relationships without first repairing our own hearts? The Lord and I have talked a lot about how to walk through conflict —you know, the relational blow-ups  that make you want to throw up? or run away? or cry? or break something?

God is depositing so many revelations about how to do life with others, even when it is messy. He is revealing a beauty in the process that is priceless and is almost worth the pain even. He is teaching me and you how to live as He lives. In Perfect Love.

Revelation One is to assess  why  this conflict is so big on our radar? Why the over the top emotional reaction ( select from prior list or add your own)?  Why go there? God loves you and me. God loves the other person. We are both good.  So let’s take a deep breath and just let the Holy Spirit tweak and heal without all the drama caused by insecurities. There is a peace that passes understanding. Drama steals that peace. So wait on the Lord to bring clarity, truth, and hope.

Speaking of insecurities, that is Revelation Two. We react because we are afraid the love has run out. Danny Silk calls it the Love Switch,  and when we get hurt the first thing we do is turn the Love Switch  off.    We get stung by actions or words and then we question the intentions of the offending person. Does this person really love me? Is this person safe? Without clearly knowing the love connection, the commitment to relationship, it is difficult to trust. So we scramble, attack, hide or blame.

We want to “resolve the problem” but where is the love? We have to let the Lord first heal our hearts through forgiveness and grace so we can get the love back on for that person. Intention is a two way street. How are we communicating our continued love in this hard circumstance? Are we still speaking love and affection even though there is conflict? Through Jesus, is the Love Switch on?

As believers, we know this is a reality that Jesus is pleased to empower because His love is everlasting.  He is teaching us how to love as He loves.  Keep your love switch on. This requires faith. Strong faith that God is truly working all things for your good, but also  for the other person’s good.  (I’m glad He is God. This makes my head hurt.)

“What are you, man, if you do not learn love?”  This question posed by Shawn MacDonald in the song Simply Nothing sums up Revelation Two.

And finally, Revelation Three came by way of  a pertinent blog by Seth Godin. When God is talking, teaching, healing, He brings truth from all directions. Read it and let the Lord have His way in your conflict.  Conflict  is part of our transformation.  We can press in to learn how to enjoy it because we trust the end result.  “Christ in you, the hope of glory.”

Two questions behind every disagreement, by Seth Godin

Are we on the same team? and

What’s the right path forward?

Most of time, all we talk about is the path, without having the far more important but much more difficult conversation about agendas, goals and tone.

Is this a matter of respect? Power? Do you come out ahead if I fail? Has someone undercut you? Do we both want the same thing to happen here?

The reason politics in my country is diverging so much from useful governance has nothing to do with useful conversations and insight into what the right path is. It’s because defeat and power and humiliation and money have replaced “doing what works for all of us” as the driving force in politics.

If you feel disrespected, the person you disagree with is not going to be a useful partner in figuring out what the right path going forward might be. If one party (employee/customer/investor) only wins when the other party loses, what’s the point of talking about anything but that?

Deal with the agenda items and the dignity problems first before you try to work out the right strategic choices. (emphasis added)

The Promise of Transformation

/ Jana / Leave a comment

I am not sure anyone ever questions that a tomato will turn red. From its gangly green stalk to its delicate yellow flower, the idea, the goal is always the same.  A red tomato. Sooner or later. We watch for them because we have “faith” that it will become what it was planted to do.

As this tomato ripened on my deck, going from green to red, I watched the gradual change. I couldn’t discern the change daily. But over a “season” of time, it warmed up and graduated into its best self, a vibrant red beauty.

All of nature does this “ripening” process. Going from one stage to another, but always with a certain goal.  For sure there inhibitors—bugs, lack of rain, ground rot. Life. But none of these deter the goal for which the plant was created.

We were created for the process of transformation. We all get to watch and observe the miracle of God in us. We may not be able to see it daily. But God is “ripening” all of us. In due time, we will able to see His life revealed in us. His goal is that we would be seen for who we were always intended to be: His vibrant beauties. It is His great promise to all His children.

I’m sure now I’ll see God’s goodness
      in the exuberant earth.
   Stay with God!
      Take heart. Don’t quit.
   I’ll say it again:
      Stay with God.

Psalm 27: 13-14,  The Message

 

 

Men behaving…like Jesus…

/ Jana / Leave a comment

Hello friends,
I am trying to help Chuck get in contact with your men, husband, friend, or boyfriend. He and two other men are starting a new group this Tuesday night that will repeat every other Tuesday night. Please read his letter below. It is not like every other men’s group. It is focused on real hope and  freedom.  And all God’s women said, Amen!
______________________________

I am starting a new group with Ray Heath and Allen Suffridge.

It’s not a lot of notice – but we’ll start meeting  this Tuesday night, 7 pm at Greenbrier Apartments club house.
After that we’ll meet every other week.
If this looks like a fit to you, reply and I’ll add you to our contact list.
Greenbrier Apartment Club House, 3920 Lonas Rd, Knoxville, TN 37909

High level, here’s what we care about:

Most guys we know are wrestling with the deep love of the Father toward them.
They might not see how good the good news really is, and that ends up expressing itself in various forms of coping,
especially sexuality getting twisted around, and anger that spews over the people we say we love the most.
We believe there’s hope for real change, and that we can live different lives.

You’ve heard this before.  You might be a little pissed off about it, even.
It all sounds so good, but where is the real change?
Maybe you look at your  New Testament and think: guess what, I’m not experiencing this abundant life I read there.
Is it even possible?

We think it is.  To various degrees, the three of us have walked through a lot of mess and seen Jesus move in amazing ways in our lives.
Come check it out, and if you hate it, no harm – no foul.  You don’t have to come back.

But our hope is to foster an environment where guys can get real about what’s really happening in their lives, and know they’ve got guys they can trust around them that can keep pointing them back to the love of the Father toward them, the desire of Jesus to share this walk with them, and the power, grace and truth that Holy Spirit has to make all this possible in their real life here in Knoxville.

We’re not out to fix anyone, only God can do that, so don’t expect that this is a group where you have to become the poster child for vulnerability and then everyone’s going to gang up on you and preach at you.  No, we’ll keep it pretty simple.  Talk about what you need to talk about.  Listen to other guys (you might learn something from their stories and their current struggles).  And – please don’t come with the mind that you need to fix someone else, and please don’t think this will be a place where you can trash your wife or your girl friend, because we think she just might be your greatest ally in the pathway out.

Feel free to forward this to a buddy of yours if you want.  We’re open to anyone coming, as long as they get that we are going to be talking pretty plainly about these three things (love of God, sexual purity, release from anger).

thanks

Chuck Spicka
(865) 235-1558
cspicka@gmail.com

Hidden Masterpieces

/ Jana / Leave a comment

Never question the unseen work you do. For God sees. And God enjoys.

I was struck this morning by the heavy fog. Hard to see much of anything until the sun began burning off the haze. And then, at just the right angle, I  noticed along the roads were these beautiful cobwebs strung between the power cables.  If you drove right up on them they disappeared. But with the donning of the dew, you could see their delicate artistry.

Spider webs. Between power lines. If you can visualize it, because they were so hard photograph, the spider’s masterpieces appeared to be on display, an elegant hanging gallery.

But who would see them, except for the dew?  And yet they spin them.  Whether seen or unseen. It is their work, their calling.

“These are hidden masterpieces,” I said to the Lord.  The Spirit whispered this verse, “Your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.”  (Matthew 6)

What are your hidden masterpieces? Will you do them just for the reward of His pleasure? Just for His enjoyment?

Weekly WGR Class? Oh yeah…

/ Jana / Leave a comment

Sisters,
FINALLY, after much conversation with the Lord I am going to teach every Thursday instead of every other week.

I know that not everyone can, or desires to, come every week to WGR, which is fine. But some people do desire that and I know for myself that having the steady continuity of a weekly “meal” helps me spiritually. So I am making this available to you.

Also, when we only meet every two weeks, it seems hard for people to connect. And we all need a little more community and connection, even if we don’t think we do.  Smile.

Now let me tell you what’s coming. I can’t tell you how excited I am to see, feel,  hear,  taste what He has for us. Very distinctly He told me at the beach that people don’t trust Him because they don’t experience Him. And they don’t experience Him because they don’t expect Him to show up in their five natural senses. How can you expect Supernatural if you don’t expect natural? So we are going to do all kinds of study, experiments,  worship, stories and reflections to hone our senses, and whet our appetites to “taste and see that the Lord is good.”

The classes will be independent of each other so feel free to miss if you have to,  or you can watch online. You won’t be behind.  If you come (or watch) regularly you will likely get more connecting dots. The choice is yours.

Other big news is Chuck is starting a class with a couple of other men to go deeper into healing and intimacy. So tell your guys about this.  First class is August 28th, and continue every other Tuesday.

 

See you girls on the 23rd at Cedar Springs Church. And  a big shout out to Suzanne Stelling for inviting us in! There is FREEEEEE childcare but you MUST register. Even if you only use it occasionally.

Blessings on you.
Jana

Summer Rain Refreshes More Than The Grass

/ Jana / Leave a comment

I love summer. I love getting to work on projects and “hang out” with my kids. I love what seems like a radical schedule shift when school gets out. But now here we are in mid-July and I find this radical shift also has a challenge to it.

It surfaced when I said out loud to the Lord, “my cup is empty.”

Then I realized how little “alone” time I have. For you moms with children younger than mine, I can hear your resounding, “Amen!”

But here is my quick pearl for today. God is always seeking to refresh, water, replenish, renew us. It happened like this for me.

It began to rain really hard, big steady drops. And I heard the faintest whisper, “that would feel so nice.” Immediately, I began recounting all the practical reasons why I didn’t have time to mess with a rain date.

Ever so gently the Lord replayed the comment, “my cup is empty.”

I looked outside at the trees, flowers and grass. They never complained about a good soaking rain. Even nature knows the high cost of being parched and drained from the intense heat. And even nature readily receives the Lord’s refreshing rain.

So out I went. Standing on my deck in the pouring rain. Not hours. But minutes. Enough to get soaked. I cupped my hands and let the rain form little pools in my hands. I couldn’t help but laugh as I tilted my head back to let the raindrops kiss my face. I felt the Lord’s pleasure as I received His gift.

Then a quick warm shower and back to the summer frenzy.

Allow the Spirit of God to water you. And see how it revives your life.

When God Speaks…

/ Jana / Leave a comment

Instead of asking does God speak, what if we asked, what do we do when God speaks.  I am convinced more and more of His desire to be known, explored —enjoyed. And I am also increasingly convinced of the “two-way street” reality of our relationship. It is not just me going to Him. Or Him pouring out on me. But instead it is a beautiful exchange, a passing of ideas and thoughts, a stirring in both hearts, mine and His.

In the same way that I am hopeful, even fervent, for His response, He is eager and awaiting mine. The word is giddy. Think excited kid before she opens up a present. Think a bride and groom before the pastor announces “the kiss.” Think grinning. Clapping hands. Raised eyebrows.  A giddy comment of  “Soooo, whatcha gonna do?” from Jesus.

This catches me off guard.  I love getting touches, kisses, insights, direction from the Lord.  But in recent months, these affections have  changed from a delightful act  to an incredible invitation.  My reactions have moved from “You are too sweet. Thanks, Lord,” to a head shaking, heart pounding, “You are joking, right Lord?”

Jesus is always inviting us into More. Holy Spirit is always revealing the Way into more. The question remains, how will we respond?

Just for fun, here is the crazy conversation He revealed on the way to the beach and home, via billboards.  If this isn’t crazy enough, look at the invitation to more that requires an answer.  And who, in their right mind, can refuse this Crazy Loving God??

Rest is required
Make outside the place to be
Fall in love all over again
Economic forecasts tend to be shovel ready
Change the way you advertise
Become a fan
Quality without question
Let me be your guide.
Why settle?
Unlock your future.
Whatever it takes. Wherever it takes us.
Uncommonly made. Uncommonly good.
Take home more. Be home more.
Going strong.
Ignite greatness.

 

WGR Class Fall Semester Begins August 23rd!!

/ HeatherT / Leave a comment

What is WGR class?

Jana is inviting hungry women to pursue the scripture and stories to see how the Lord builds intimacy through our senses.  This is an unusual class with hands on activities, soaking worship, and real seasons to hear from the Lord personally and powerfully.

The class is for all ages and does not require perfect attendance. Or homework.

We are meeting every Thursday at Cedar Springs Presbyterian Church in room B203 from 6:30-8:30pm.  CSPC is located at the corner of Kingston Pike and Cedar Bluff at 9132 Kingston Pike.  Free childcare will be provided with registration.  Please click here to register.

We will also be live streaming class this year so you can tune in at home!  Just visit the WGR UStream channel at http://www.ustream.tv/channel/womengettingreal to join the class every week at 6:30pm EST!  

For specific details around the class please feel free to email us at info@womengettingreal.com.

Beautiful 2012 at Russellville Baptist Church

/ HeatherT / Leave a comment

Beautiful 2012 is a day to discover your real beauty and prepare for the journey of being a young woman. It is a day of fun and facts for 3rd grade through 6th grade girls and their mom, aunt or other special female role model. We will talk about heart stuff, body stuff, boy stuff and God stuff. Registration fee includes lunch, a cool tshirt, and materials for the day including a special keepsake memento.

Click here to register!!

Cost- $25 per person for early registration, $20 per person for families of 3 or more, $35 per person at the door (tshirts for door registrations will be mailed).

Call Lynn Hamer at 423-258-1684 for more information or email rbcbeautiful2012@yahoo.com!!

This event is open to all.

Relationships Need a Real God

/ Jana / Leave a comment

It is always a challenge at first to follow God into a new teaching topic. It is not the study or the actual delivery of the spiritual download I tremble over.

It is the living it out first in private before He lets me share it in the public.

Therefore you can imagine my hesitation to teach on healthy relationships. No, more than just healthy, He is going after loving relationships with others, even the “others” that I can’t stand, can’t forgive, can’t believe will be different.

I can talk about a loving healthy relationship with that Lover Boy Jesus all day long. But when you get into other peeps or my family, ouch, this cuts a little too close to home. And yet. Isn’t this precisely the way of God? To so overwhelm us with His love and affection that we spill out and over on others? Proverbs says “the tongue of the wise brings healing.” And we need to hear Jesus speak healing into every relationship we have.

So this new seminar  on June 9, is very simply a time plant a few seeds of Jesus in our lives. Most of us have been through some sort of counseling, even Bible studies. Yet most of us would say our relationships don’t change much. I find that to be so counter to the way of God.

When people in the Bible had an encounter with Jesus, their lives were changed. Some instantly, some over time, but all were changed because He put something in them that produced His life.  Real Life. That is what we are going after.

Plan to come with a desire to pull weeds in your heart, and to let God plant His healing and wisdom instead.

Real Life. Real Relationship.
June 9, 9:30-Noon
Fuse Church, Midpark Drive
Open to All: women, men, couples, singles
Love Offering Event
Pre registered Childcare Only.