Author: Jana

Ready, Set, Pray!

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When God calls you into an adventure, how do you know when to go? How to go? Or even why to go? How do you shut up the flesh long enough to let the Spirit persuade your spirit into action?

You watch, wait and believe. I had been approached about going to Zimbabwe for years. But there was never one inkling to go. I had lots of reasons that compelled me to stay. A sick child. A conflict in schedule. But more than anything there was no “draw” to go. I would send stuff: books, CDs, T-shirts, lots of prayers. But I never had a desire to send “me.”

Then one day a letter came from across the world. A year later another letter came.  Like drops of rain begin sporadically then become a steady downpour, there was one thought then another, then it began to rain.  My friend came back from the most recent trip and said, “You have got to go.”

Before I even thought about it, I blurted out, “I know. I am going. I know I am going.”  And the rain began. Then there was meeting to hear about the youth camps, the students, the women’s events —the opportunities to build, to encourage, to influence a country torn apart — and my heart pounded in my chest. Raining down.

Then we had a prayer time and I just asked the Lord, “Tell me real plainly who is to go, and I will follow.”  As soon as I bowed my head, it was plain as day. “You and Salem.” What???

The trip was already seeming impossible, but now add my 12 year old?  Wow. That is a lot of rain…But the downpour came over the next three nights in songs and messages in my sleep. The first night was waking up to a line from the song, Healer, by Kari Jobe. “Nothing is impossible for you.” I had to decide whether this trip was too big for God.

Second was waking up to a verse God had given me as a promise long ago. He had told me that through Him, I was a tree planted by streams of water and that my fruit would prosper.  For years He has been talking  to me about trees.  But He cinched the conversation by reminding me of a verse He had spoken over me: “The tree will have healing in its leaves for the nations.”  It was time to go to the nations.

And finally, was the confirmation about Salem, that she was not a liability but a huge asset. Not an interruption but a purposeful planting.  And God said told me clearly that He had a design for Salem going at this time in her life and in mine. To drive the point home He said, “Salem is a mini-She.” I understood the power of that name. Here is why. We call the women who volunteer in WGR “The SHE” because we all work together as a Body under Christ. Salem is a mini-She. How do you argue with that?

When God speaks, how do you walk away and pretend He has not?  In all the wrestling and preparing, stripping off and surrendering, He has asked me just to pray and wait.  Pray for the people we are going to, not about my fear. Pray for the hearts to be healed, not about my needs. Pray about the power of God to change us all, not about my to do list.

Today He invites me and you.  Just rest your head on Me. I really can be trusted.

How Big is Your God?

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Today my friend Anna sent me this amazing youtube… Francis Chan – Balance Beam

You gotta watch it. But more than watching, you gotta get this. You get to decide what kind of life you live. Big or small. Strong or impotent. Reaching out or closed in. God-sized or  man-safe.

I think of big things when I watch this. I think of God setting men and women free. I think of God teaching the next generation how to truly value a woman. I think of God rescuing the women and children in the sex trade, of breaking down the strongholds of adultery and perversion. I think of crazy faith adventures to impact places like Zimbabwe, India, even little ole Knoxville…

But I also think of things closer to home.  I think of God getting me out of my fear zone when it comes to money and securty. And God getting me out of my comfort zone, my church zone, my “rights” zone.  I want to be free from all these places where it actually boils down to one thing: control. I try to grab hold of that balance beam so that everything appears to be in my grasp and under my control. But the more I grab, the less freedom I have, the less I can look up and see God, the less I can walk forward.

I watch this kind of God-sized abandon and I want to blow the doors off this puny little world I’ve created. Won’t you join me?

How about today let’s stand up and walk. Let’s let go of the beam. Sure our knees are shaking, sure we might fall. But our God holds us.

“He’s got the whole world in his hands.”

Let’s live a God-sized life.  One so big that only God in us could pull it off.

Will You Help Us Change the World?

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Isn’t that an audacious question? It sounds like, uhm, let me think — oh yes, it sounds like Jesus. He is the One who took a handful of scarred and frail believers and changed the course of history.  Their encounter with the Living Messiah, their passion to tell their story about Him, changed the world, one person at a time.

That is what we are up to at Women Getting Real. Our desire is to rescue people from the heartache, lies and defeat in their lives and lead them into the presence of the Loving God where He can restore, renew and heal. Are we there yet ourselves? Nope. We are all in process, on the journey, ever seeking His face. But this one thing we know and bank our lives on: the same God who is healing us, will heal others too.

We believe that the same tender love, the same Living God who has radically altered our lives, altogether changed our existence not only in the hereafter but also with His overwhelming presence in our daily lives, is able and willing to do that for others too.  And we want to tell our stories, now and later, near and far, home and abroad.

Will you help us with this Holy Search and Rescue Mission?

There are four of us going to Zimbabwe in May. I am going to teach retreats and teens. Two other “dream team” members of WGR are going, Beth Hungerford and Laura Jones.  They are invaluable leaders in the workings of Unhindered events, and behind the scenes work of the ministry. When they go to Zimbabwe they will be helping with the youth camps and orphanage there. The final representative from WGR is our youngest team member, Salem, my 12 year old daughter. She is a bundle of gifting: child magnet, willing builder and adventurer extraordinaire.  God was so clear to us all that she was to make this trip. So we are quite eager to see all that God will reveal and deposit in her.

It is not so much what we offer, but that we have all been clearly, and almost humorously, Called. And we must answer. We are joining a larger team going with John Dee and Ebenezer Ministries and will be gone for three weeks. Does this sound crazy to you?  It still does to me. But isn’t that just like God? Nothing is impossible for Him.

So we are extending an invitation to you to link arms with us.  Will you pray for us?  Salem said it best. When I was helping her with her donor letters, I asked her what she wanted to put under her “prayer requests.”  She said,  “Preparation and faith.” I love that. That is our first step. Preparation and Faith. Our second step is to pray in the funds to go. We know that God has all the money we need. And He has given me such a verse:

And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work. As it is written: “He has scattered abroad his gifts to the poor; His righteousness endures forever.” Now He who supplies seed to the sower and bread for food will also supply and increase your store of seed and will enlarge the harvest of your righteousness. You will be made rich in every way so that you can be generous on every occasion, and through us your generosity will result in thanksgiving to God.

2 Corinthians 9: 8-11

We stand on His promises to provide through many hands.. Will you  link arms with us financially too? Maybe you can’t go, but you can help send us.  You are going to Zimbabwe “through us”  as we all go through the power of Christ.

So if you want to join the Change the World adventure with us, click here.  This is will give you all the info you need to be part of this God work.

“Lord rend the heavens and come down, Seek the lost and heal the lame, Father bring glory to your name.”

The Wonders of Men

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Okay, so admit it.  You know that you’re curious as to what this blog is about…Well I just finished a really powerful marriage retreat. (Thank you Lord for coming, and thank you friends for bringing your hearts!)  And while I was prepping for that, I ran across this book, written by a man, that actually admitted that men “do goofy things.” His words. Goofy. Funny, inane and sometimes altogether inexplicable.

Shortly after reading this chapter, I had this telling experience. Chuck was flying around getting ready for work and he brought me a shirt that had some faint dirt marks on it. “Is there anything I can do for this?” he asked. I suggested a Clorox pen, but he said he was afraid the chemical would irritate his neck since the smudge was on the neck line.

“Got it.” I said. “So instead, spray some Shout on it, rub it to remove the dirt, then moisten a paper towel and dab it off.” Simple, to the point, clear and precise. He bustled off in search of the Shout spray.

“You good?”  I hollered over my shoulder as I was finishing up the girls’ lunches.

“Yes,” he mumbled.

Several minutes passed and he came back in the kitchen in his t-shirt with his dress shirt still in his hand. “Did that not work?”  I asked perplexed, being confident of my solution.

“No.”

“Really?”

“Well I couldn’t find the Shout so I sprayed Wrinkle Release on it and it didn’t seem to help any.”

I searched his face to see if he was making a joke. He was not.

I stood there dumbfounded myself; do I laugh out loud, or cry hysterically?

“Honey,” I began carefully, “what exactly did you think Wrinkle Release would do for the dirt? Help it stay fresh and crisp?”

Now he looked at me searching my face. We both cracked up. “Is it just a lot of fun being a man?” I asked.

“Yeah sometimes. This is how new discoveries are made you know.”

Goofy. That’s all I could think of it. But you know what I have discovered, I like goofy.

There are crazy differences about us, male and female. But both are in the image of God.  And it is in these funny moments I see that God is so smart for making us so polar in some ways and then saying to us, “Okay, ya’ll, live together in the same house!”

But laughing with Chuck also made me think about how big God’s capacity must be when we do inane things ourselves with Him. He gives us clear instruction and we go off in left field and wonder why His plan isn’t working. We’re goofy. Plain and simple. I can just hear God say sometimes, “How is that working for ya? You are using the wrong remedy for the wrong issue, but still expecting the same good results.  Want to try it My way this time?”

And even better, I really think God laughs too.  I think He likes our goofy too.

Stop Fighting – by Guest Blogger, Beth Hungerford

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This past September I went to the Dominican Republic to visit my friend.  My favorite day of the whole trip was the day we went to a secluded beach to swim in the ocean.  We swam out pretty far from shore and just floated up and down with the waves.

However, these were not small waves and I kept finding myself coughing and spitting out salt water after getting smacked in the face.  I got really tired of this really quickly but I just couldn’t seem to do anything about it.

Then I heard the Lord say quite clearly, “Stop fighting.”

“I’m not fighting I’m just trying not to drown,” I responded getting another mouthful of salt water.

“Stop fighting.”

That’s when I started watching the two local boys that were out there with us.  They had lots of experience swimming out in the waves and I realized they just dove straight into them.   I tried this and found that it was much easier than bracing myself or trying to fight them.

Soon I was tired and started swimming toward shore. If you’ve ever done this, you know that you swim and swim but never really get anywhere because the receding waves pull you right back out.

Again I heard the Lord’s voice, “Stop fighting.”

“I’m not!  I’m just trying to get back to shore.”

My way clearly wasn’t working, so again I watched the local boys and learned that the only way to get back in was to swim hard with the incoming waves, but then you just relax and let the waves pull you back a little, repeating the process until you’re all the way in.  It is slow going but you use way less energy when you let the waves do the work and don’t try to fight against them.

At last I was close enough to stand and I immediately tried to run out of the water before the next wave came to overtake me.  I still hadn’t gotten it.  I didn’t even get three steps toward shore before a giant wave picked me off my feet and slammed me into the ground.

“Stop fighting.”

“I didn’t even know I was!”

What I ended up having to do was let the water bring me all the way up on shore and I mean ALL THE WAY.  The waves were so strong that to stand up even when it was little more than ankle deep you would be caught be the next wave before you could get out and you’d get a not so gentle landing on the rocky shore.

When it was all over, I realized the Lord was trying to get me to completely surrender and let Him do all the work.  I really didn’t have to do anything except listen and respond to His voice.

100% Responsible

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Do you ever have those relational upheavals that make you tired? Whether it is your mate,  your family or friends, do you hit one of those emotional oil slicks where everyone goes crashing into each other, and all the parties end up in the relationship hospital?

Sounds likes a lot of drama doesn’t it? But it happens, it really does. You can’t say the right thing, he/she can’t say the right thing, and before you know it, it’s emotional ICU, either Chaos or Ice City. Not pretty.

I am assuming you can connect the dots about why this is my chosen topic. But I am finding out (again!) that the Lord does this for several reasons.

Temperature Check

The Lord lets us bump into each other to see what spills out. It is a temperature check to see how our hearts are really doing. If I blow a gasket over something small, it could be there is a deeper issue.  Just like fever indicates infection, our reactions indicate lack of forgiveness, unresolved hurt, need for grace. Sunday morning, Rick Dunn made this great comment, “When you have a need, it shows that you are not a god, but you need one. Which God will you turn to?”  When I sense I have a relationship fever, what medicine will I seek?  Coping and denial? Or humility and restoration?

Tutoring

Relationship crashes make us better relational drivers. It only takes a couple of fender benders, or a major accident, to make you a more conscious driver. I see in my relationships that I sometimes act like a drunk driver, all over the road, ignoring signs, crashing into guardrails. I am DUI, driving under the influence of something other than the Holy Spirit. Being selfish, hard hearted, determined to be right, lacking boundaries, all of these are sure to deter my (and your) ability to properly handle a relationship. Just like the road, our relationships need yellow lines, no passing zones, and concrete dividers.  For our good and the good of others. God uses these moments to teach us how to define and defend boundaries.

Tenderize

Finally, these pile ups help to tenderize our hearts, drawing them back to God.  When we see the messes we have made, we go back to the Relationship Expert. We tap into His love, His mercy, His DESIRE for us to walk in health. He stirs a desire that we be rightly connected to Him and to others. He does that. And then He begins to create change by revealing truth, again and again. Truth: I can only change ME, rather than trying to change another person. It is in this posture before His unfailing love, that He tells me I am 100% responsible for me. Truth: I am 100% responsible for my behavior, attitudes and heart. I can’t change or fix another person. They can’t change or fix me.  But the flip side is, I can change with the Holy Spirit’s help, how I react and relate, even how I love someone else.  Even in this, loving someone, God is the source. Truth: He is 100% responsible to transform you and I into the ways of Christ. He will complete the good work He began in us.

“Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.” 1 John 4:7

I Hate Object Lessons

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So I am teaching a marriage retreat this weekend. And if that isn’t scary enough, I got in a huge fight with Chuck this past weekend.  Here is what happened.

We are preparing for Charis’ birthday party Saturday morning. Yes, I said six little girls in their favorite dress up costumes complete with those loud clacking plastic dress up shoes. Did I mention that I have wood floors? And cathedral ceilings? Did I also mention that in some insane moment I purchased those roll out blowers as favors? You know the ones – they coil up into a mouthpiece. You blow into the mouthpiece and the coil rolls out and honks like a duck.

Yeah. Multiply that times 6 and add clacking heels.

Anyway, before all this drama, we were blitzing the house. (I have to say I love how Chuck and I work together. But hold on for the rest of the story.)

Charis was understandably excited and didn’t want to clean her room. So I threw out some merry little quip about “a cheerful heart doeth good like medicine.”  Choose to work with a good attitude, I said.  And we continued our blitz.

But somewhere over the morning, I lost my own cheerful heart.  I was stressing out, there was too much to do, and if I am painfully honest, Chuck wasn’t doing it the way I wanted it done.

I began IMploding first. Do you know what I mean by this? Grumbling and swearing, complaining and whining, all silently – but internally boiling. Then I began EXploding. Lots of me-centered comments. I have to, I don’t have, I want, I need… And on top of that, I began excusing myself  about why I was exploding. “I just need to vent and get this out,” I explained loudly. (Read: yelling). Was that supposed to somehow justify my behavior?

Deep in my spirit, I heard the words I had said to Charis. A cheerful heart, Jana, is like medicine.  But I sent that medicine flying. I didn’t want to get well. I wanted to be mad.

Standing at the sink, fuming, I made an attempt to get a hold of myself. I bit the bullet and went back to Chuck. My apology was lame, lame, lame. “I know that I am wrong, and I know that God is going to convict me sooner or later, so I am just getting this over with now and apologizing,” I snapped and went back to my chores.  I don’t  know what I thought that was going to accomplish, because my heart was still boiling.

In response, Chuck  put on a worship CD and before I could complain, I heard the words to the song that randomly came on:

“Praise God from who all blessings flow.
Praise Him all creatures here below.
Praise Him above ye heavenly hosts.
Praise Father, Son and Holy Ghost. Amen.”

“Will you praise Me for your blessings, Jana?”

“Yes, Lord,” I said begrudgingly, “but You have to change my heart to do it.”

Charis came into the room and said, “Mama, why are you being so grumpy?”

“Mama is having a bad day; we all have bad days don’t we? Well today is Mama’s day,” I said. I had just excused myself AGAIN.  And that was it. The conviction fell. The Spirit said, “No, it’s not a bad day. It’s sin. At least call it what it is.”

I went and found Charis and cupped her little face in my hands. “Mama is not having a bad day. I have sin in my heart. Will you forgive me?”

Same drill for Chuck minus the cupped face. They were both happy to forgive because none of us wanted to waste our day and hearts like that.

And it’s so funny, the rest of the day turned around. Everything got done. Everyone, even me, enjoyed the party.

It is no wonder that the Bible says, “God gives grace to the humble, but opposes the proud.” Did you hear that?  I can either have His help, or He’ll love me enough
to fight against me. He’s that determined to have my heart. Hmmm. That would be a no brainer.

“God, thank You for your unconditional love, even when I screw up royally. Thank You that it is You that causes me to want to humble myself. Thank You for Your loving grace. Amen.”

Warrior 101

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I had two different questions last week that had almost the exact same answer. One was from a friend who is experiencing a downpour from the Lord, but identified some fear lurking in the shadows. You know, the “other shoe is about to fall”  fear that the devil loves to torment us with? I hate that.  It can be paralyzing. She asked how to prepare. Was there some class in “Warrior 101?”

As an aside, what if the other shoe did fall?  Is God not the Author of that as well?  Is He not strong enough?

But the other question came from a person who is dealing with a severe illness in his family. He asked what to do. But the answer that flowed out to both of them had more to do with a Who than a What.  Here is my response as related to when my youngest daughter was critically ill for 4 years. I will fill you in on details later.

“I know how tough these days must be.  I have really had to process with the Lord how to respond to you. I learned so much about the Lord, and from the Lord, during this very hard season.

I don’t think I have actually taken the time to write the story out. So I will try to highlight the take aways from that season.

1) God alone is sovereign.  We tend to dismiss things in life: money, health, relationships, circumstances. But He holds all things together, and in Him we move and have our being. This sickness brought that reality home in a whole new way. God had the RIGHT to do whatever He wanted, and would STILL be acknowledged as Good. But also because He is sovereign, He is always working on our behalf.  He is not a distant God; but right here, right now. One of the many intercessors during this season had this word from the Lord for us, and for Charis:  “God is not doing something TO you, he is depositing something IN you.” This journey with Him would be a foundational piece of our story and HER story. That brought us great courage.

God doesn’t waste anything.

2) The doctors are not greater than God. I had to learn to listen to what GOD said rather than what they said.  They were “practicing” medicine. He was the Healer.  Many times they gave her meds for her detriment. Literally.  God would instruct what to listen to and what to ignore. Also, when the Lord told me that He was going to heal Charis, the doctors scoffed.  Literally.  I had to decide who I would stand on. God or man.  It is a tough, tough road.

Clearly, God was right. The docs had her diagnosed as lifelong meds, allergies and food restrictions. Today she walks in restored health.

3) The body is connected to the spirit.  “Confess your sins to one another that you may be healed,” James says. Chuck and I did much inventory of our lives to remove any “authority” we had given the evil one to torment us and Charis. We believe God broke strongholds during this season. I would pray for the home and marriage. That was a root issue in our case, and perhaps yours.

4) I learned how to pray in earnest. I learned out of desperation how to sing songs of deliverance, to bang on the doors of heaven for healing. I grew faith like never before to believe in the God who loved me and my daughter, even when the circumstances did not align with His voice. I was in the Word often, asking for guidance and leading.

5) I began to expect the supernatural. Before this, I heard about it, thought about it, sort of wished for it. Now I HAD to have it. She had to have it. We and the community around us have a stronger testimony that Our God Saves because of what we have seen and heard.

6) I learned to let go. Living with death as a real possibility at times, taught me more than I can write. I became a more grateful person.

7) This is an invitation to intimacy.  It is one thing to know OF God. It is radically different to KNOW Him.  I became firmly convinced that every single thing in our lives, good or bad, is His call to see Him in the middle of it. He wants to walk with us, and will do whatever it takes to get our attention. Whatever it takes. And believe me, He got our attention. Still I can tell you, I wouldn’t trade this season for anything. I am forever changed.

May the Lord Himself be your Comfort, Healer and Strength.”

Faced with God

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Monday, I got to redeem a really great birthday gift.  It was 45 minutes in a Detox Sauna and a deep cleansing facial.

Now hold on, because if you know me at all, you know that either one of these events is a real stretch. To get me to sit still anywhere for 45 minutes is a wonder, let alone sit still and sweat. But then to go immediately to lay down and have someone else rub goop on my face verges on the miraculous.

But I confess…it was wonderful.

(For those of you who are jealous, you can schedule your own mini-retreat at Seasons of Farragut Wellness Clinic. 675-9355)

And it was wonderful for the craziest of reasons. I had time to sit in the presence of the Lord. I had time to invest in myself. And I had time to take stock of how my heart is doing with the skin I am in.

Just how is the beauty journey going for me? And you?

I don’t know about you, but if I am paying attention to what I eat, and working out, and taking time to dress, then I like myself pretty well.  But if I have been out of Jazzercise for a couple of months, enjoying the holiday treats a little too much, and not “dolling up” unless absolutely necessary, then I catch myself saying pretty toxic things to me, about me.   (Do you hear that performance train rumbling down the tracks?)  But after spending nearly an hour with God, that detox sauna did more than rid my body of harmful toxins; that time flushed my heart as well.

So when I go to do the facial, the woman asked, “What are areas you don’t like about your face?”  I was silent as I was stunned a little. Then I almost laughed out loud because what I heard in my head was God saying, “I like your face, it looks like Me.”

I simply responded, “You know, I am good with my face. I really am.”  And I really was.

Gee, that detox idea is pretty potent. You should try it. With or without the sweat.

A Funny Ah Haaaaaa. . .

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Okay, I have the WGR info meeting tonight and just have a minute to write.

(Not too late to check it out…7-8:30 Cedar Springs Bookstore)

But I had a hilarious holy “Ohhhhh” moment with the Lord. It goes like this.

On Monday morning, I told my friend Kate that the Lord was really challenging me. The more He revealed what He was up to this year, the less He wanted me to “do.”  He was calling forth these crazy adventures like Zimbabwe, India, many hands in WGR, a worship CD, and more. But the more I would attack my to do list, the more He would call me to prayer.  Deep prayer. Extended prayer.

Only I wasn’t going.
The math wasn’t adding up.

In my spirit, I knew He was right. The prayer WAS the Greater work. God’s kingdom is advanced by spending time in the “bedroom chamber” with our Lover.

But in my head I was fighting.  I had things to DO… durnnit.  So we parted that morning, with a playful laugh.  Kate agreed to pray for me that I would come to agree with God and do it His way. (Which is really what I want, even if I don’t do it.)

One hour later, I am laughing for real.  Without connecting the topic of our conversation, our prayers, or the Lord’s skillful hand, guess where I spent the next hour?

In a sauna. I was sweating my arse off, but I listened to worship music and just drank deeply of the affections of the One and Only.

Later that day I realized He had hemmed me. Deep prayer.  Kingdom work.  One of the best hours of my life.

“Ohhhhh, that’s what  you meant. Thank you Jesus.”