Provision

Help My Unbelief

/ Jana / Leave a comment

The word stopped me dead in my tracks.  A friend was coaching us about decisions that needed to be made and he remarked, “it was presumptive of me to think God would take care of” the situation the way I had planned. He went on to give us much-needed wisdom and insight. But that word nagged me.

Presumptive.

What does presumptive mean?  It describes something that is expected to happen or become true.

I went back to the Lord and vented: “I am only doing what I think You said. Yes, it sounds crazy, but it doesn’t have to make sense to anyone else. And if that makes me presumptive, then FINE! But I would rather be presumptive and believe YOU, than never attempt anything because I couldn’t even get out of the gate.”

Whew. Snort. Okay then.

Once I calmed down, I realized my wise friend was trying to broaden our scope and options. However, years after the conversation, the word still comes up in my mind like a full-blown assault.

It goes like this. I will hear a faint whisper from the Lord about some action to take, or an invitation to some dream He wants me to pursue. As I rally up my faith to hit the first Domino, I hear a sneer from the enemy, “you are so presumptive.”  Translation: You really expect God to come through? You really think He WILL do that for you? This is a stupid idea. It will never happen. You are crazy for thinking you heard God.

Does this happen to you too? God invites us into more and our own unbelieving thoughts, or the enemy of God, tries to kill the dream before we even take the first step.

Sounds like the garden. Did God really say?

Well. As a matter of fact. YES — GOD DID SAY!

Now, after years of practicing trust and surrender, when I hear that word fire in my mind, it has become a bright flare, like a beacon of evidence.  Ahhh.  It MUST be God if there is this much opposition right off the bat.

I am calling us as believers to rise up in Faith and Boldness.  It’s not God who is weak, but our faith. We must rise up to activate His promises and goodness over our lives and our families and communities.

I want to bless you with one word: Storehouses.  There are storehouses of treasures in heaven. God is waiting for someone earthbound to pull them down. On Earth, as it is in Heaven. I remember Shawn Boltz saying God gave him a vision of a room with body parts with names on them. Creative miracles that God wanted to do on earth through our faith.

Just recently the Lord has been expanding that idea to me that there are storehouses of His goodness that He wants to release on earth and He wants to know who will do the faith journey to be a part of it.

Storehouses of relational healing, financial favor, healing and miracles, generational restoration. I don’t know about you. but I don’t want to miss out on heaven here because I would not believe God to Be God to me.

For the faint of heart (that’s all of us at some point), it’s not about just getting what we think we want. It is our transformation in the process, and being so close with this Beautiful God that we move to what He wants for us.

We bank our whole lives on the belief that God is working for our good. Presumptive. Yes, please.

Jesus said to him, “If you can believe, all things are possible to him who believes.”
Immediately the father of the child cried out and said with tears, “Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!”
Mark 9:23-25

 

Dependance Is A Dance

/ Jana

Something happened yesterday and it was simply incredible. I was talking to a friend about financial things. There was absolutely nothing emotionally charged about our conversation but I kept seeing something on her face. It almost looked like she had been crying. It wasn’t a mascara run but it looked like fresh tears without the glisten. I was becoming increasingly distracted by it so I finally interrupted her and said, “Have you been crying?”

She said, “What?”

I said again, “Have you been crying?”

She said, “No. Why?”

I said, “It just looks like you have been.”

She said, “Do I have makeup on me or something? Are my eyes red?”

I said, “No. Actually, this may be in the Spirit. Are you sad about something?”

She froze, “What?”

I said, “Are you sad about something? Is something bothering you?”

She said, “How did you know?”

I said, “I think I’m seeing tears on your face in the spiritual. Tell me about it.”

She proceeded to share with me a story about something that has been really causing her pain. She had wounded a friend and wasn’t sure what to do about it. She felt like she was swimming in a sea of grace about it but there was something about that that made her uncomfortable, she just didn’t want to depend on the Lord so much. She was believing a lie that He was disappointed that she needed Him so much.

Her words reminded me of a time when I was breastfeeding. I had seen all the successful moms who would breastfeed and pump enough to have freezers full of milk. I wanted to provide for my daughter and save some for later in case she needed it. It took me almost a year to be able to save anything. I distinctly remember standing at my kitchen sink in the early months of my breastfeeding journey and saying to Jesus, “I just don’t want to have to ask You every day to provide this. What is wrong with my body that I can’t seem to produce enough without asking You for help? I just don’t want to need You.” In that moment I heard the Spirit whisper, “I am your daily bread. I am your daughters daily bread. I love to hear you ask Me. I long to provide for you. I am drawn to the need in you.” I want to tell you that I swooned and feel back in His arms. The truth is I flippantly responded, “I guess” and kept washing dishes.

And there is the stick: I don’t want to need Him all the time. I want to rule and reign and run my little kingdom. I want to fix my problems the way that I think they should be fixed. I want to provide for myself and have extra so I won’t need faith to live.

But I was, and you are, created to need Him and when our need meets His provision, this beautiful dance happens. There is no lacking. There is no striving. It is perfect, whole and holy. Heaven comes to earth.

So, friend, may I encourage you with 2 things today:

  1. He sees you. He is putting people in your path who will see your pain and help you carry it. Most importantly, He is working in the unseen. What is seen is temporary, what is unseen is eternal.

  2. He wants to be needed by you. Your dependance on Him is beautiful in His eyes. Will you offer your lack to Him and wait on Him to provide?

    Crystal Freeman

 

 

Is Grace Enough?

/ Jana

My 92-year-old dad’s health is rapidly declining. My dog just had surgery and we are awaiting test results to see if it’s cancer. My kids are each going through their own wrenching challenges. My husband’s job has been erratic. And on and on it goes. What’s your list look like?

This is just the obvious stuff. The next layer is even more tender. There’s the grief of losing my mom and the anticipated grief of losing my dad soon. The fear and helplessness of not being able to influence my children can take my breath away. The decision fatigue of managing so many things at the same time sometimes leaves me wanting to run away at best, or zone out and binge a show at worst.

And underneath all of this is my love for God. And the love from God.
I have to stop and pause. I have to stop and remember. He is the way maker.

More than a great song lyric, He really is the one who makes rough places smooth. His light leads through the darkness. He takes me on well-worn paths and to uncharted trails. He guides me through the fire, through the flood. He sets me high upon a rock.

He leads me to green pasture. To rest. To settle. To focus again.

Since I know that nothing is a surprise to Him,
since I know He plans ahead for me,
since I know that He is always with me,
I can turn to Him, see His face, hear His voice, and understand what He wants to show me in these very harried moments.

Today, He says that life is a gift. Don’t waste it by complaining about what is wrong but look for the good, His goodness in the moments.

Today He says that my faith in His provision is my gift to Him. Regardless of the swirl, He has already provided for me and I “get to” watch and anticipate His movement in my life.

Today He says that grace is a reality for me to pull on, to expect, to stand on. It is a divine presence in every situation. I can bank on it.

Last year, God gave me this beautiful revelation about the word grace as represented in Hebrew letters. Hebrew letters are pictures that reveal a much deeper meaning. The word “grace” is literally the letters that mean “beautiful camp.”

The Israelites were a nomadic people so they would travel and then set up tents in a circle close to each other. They would overlap the tent cords on the outside circle of the tents to form a barricade from animals and invaders. Then they would open up their tents to the inside of the circle so that they could freely visit, the children would play safely inside the tent circle. More on this later.  However, God gave me the phrases:

Protection from without.
Provision from within.

That is what I can expect and hope and trust and rely on when I say I need grace. His grace.

God’s protection from without. God’s provision from within. He’s got me, and you, fully covered in grace. I truly am in good hands. And so are you.

When You think You Need More Money…

/ Jana / 1 Comment

I have a lot of wealthy friends.  We live in really different financial spheres and  sometimes the money gap is comical.  For example,  I was thrilled to go to Florida and one friend vacationed at  a Mediterranean  oasis.  I bought a new house (that I love!) and one friend bought a new house that makes my house look like her bonus room.  Another  friend  eloquently remarked, “Jana I live in a land with lots of zeros, so I  am not worried about the cost of this.”

I laughed out loud. I can’t even imagine making such a statement.

The odd thing though is my wealthy friends also make heart-wrenching comments.  Two of them said  recently that they have a hard time with close friendships because people are jealous of them and that people judge them for how they spend their money.IMG_1962

These comments rattled my soul. For several reasons. I love my friends. Deeply. And they love me. Deeply.

I would hope that their love for me would not fluctuate as my income fluctuates. As in,  when I have no money,  I would have no friendship? So then, why would having a surplus of income mean a sacrifice of friendship?

Do we really believe that more money is the answer to most everything?  If we are not careful, we will have our eyes on more money rather than on more of our Maker.  Look at these statements from wealthy people in my world:

“I have so much money, I don’t really need Jesus for anything.”

“I had an opportunity to make millions, but I don’t think that is what’s best for my family or my own soul. I don’t think this is God’s plan for me right now.”

“I am thankful for the money we have, but my friends think I don’t have any problems.  They think their  life is harder than mine. And it gets very lonely.”

Do you hear the temptation? the poverty? the need?  Suddenly the ground becomes very level at the Cross. Perhaps money isn’t the answer to everything. Here are real life people who have plenty of money, yet still have plenty of lack.

Theologian Henri Nouwen poignantly calls out that we are all poor in some areas and rich in some areas. Some have material wealth, some have spiritual wealth. Some have wisdom, some mercy.  Yet above all things, he asks, where is our trust? The Lord is the source of all, for all.

Extreme security.  These are the two words that God gave me in March.  It was an invitation actually.

“How would you like to live in “extreme security?” He asked.

“What does this mean?” I said. Instantly I thought of paying opportunities that would give me more stability, more options. But that’s not what He had in mind.

“That you would be so convinced of My Provision that I would  become your ‘extreme security’.”

“I would love this Lord, but I don’t know how.”

“Trust Me.”

Trusting the goodness of God is our highest goal. Perhaps, just perhaps, this is why Jesus said you can’t love God and love money. You have to choose.

You can love God and use money. But you can’t love money and use God.

When I love God, I can learn to trust in His abundance for my every need. Enter peace.

When I love money, I am constantly grasping for more to meet my own needs. Enter exhaustion.

My wealthy friends already know this. They have all they need financially and more. (Which is why they give so much away.) They already know that money doesn’t meet ALL their needs. Only God can do that.

So regardless of your financial status, how is your peace? What is your source? Where is your love?

Really let the Lord reveal your mental conversations as you compare yourself to others, or even despise others for their surplus or lack. Are you asking God to meet your needs?  Are you accusing God of not taking care of you? How about this— are you thanking God for what you do have?

And, likewise, let the Lord reveal your areas of spiritual wealth. What areas are you so full that you might share with others?  You may be rich in ways you have never considered. I love what 1 Timothy 6:6 says: “But godliness with contentment is great gain.”  Godliness. Contentment. Great Gain. This sounds like a great path for us all, regardless of the number of zeros in our lives.

God is faithful to meet all our needs. May we be rich in trusting Him.

 

 

 

Where is your face?

/ Jana / 2 Comments

I am not always a big fan of the book of Job. He had some pretty lousy friends who gave really crappy counsel. But as is the way of God, tucked in every messy relationship is a revelation of God, and a revelation of ourselves. Don’t even ask how I ended up at this passage. But it really hit me. I went back and read it in several translations.

Here is my take on it:

When we try to do it our way, then what we grasp and strive for is meaningless. Our impact on the world is very small. But when we do life God’s way, with Him as the source, the reward, the goal, the pleasure, then all of life is changed, not only our lives, but the lives of those around us.

“Give in to God, come to terms with him
and everything will turn out just fine.
Let him tell you what to do;
take his words to heart.
Come back to God Almighty
and he’ll rebuild your life.
Clean house of everything evil.
Relax your grip on your money
and abandon your gold-plated luxury.
God Almighty will be your treasure,
more wealth than you can imagine.
You’ll take delight in God, the Mighty One,
and look to him joyfully, boldly.

Job 22:21-26 The Message

Look at the actions required. Give in. Let Him tell you. Come back and He will rebuild. Clean house. Relax your grip and abandon. Take delight. And look to him.

Do you ever find yourself stuck in those Not Yet seasons? You know something in on the horizon but it’s not here yet?

Or you are poised in one of those Ready to Launch phases?

Or, perhaps, God has already Released you but you are not doing what He said?

Be faithful. Do what He tells you. Clean house. Let go of your notions about money and treasure. Delight in the Lord first and foremost. Turn your face toward Him. Not toward yourself. Not your pride or problems. Not someone else to “rescue” you. Just face him.

In one of the translations, the word God is Shaddai. How funny. That means All Sufficient. Lacking nothing. Looking to God is more than passive Jesus talk. It is intently listening and doing whatever He says.  There you find delight. And so does He.

 21 “Yield now and be at peace with Him;
Thereby good will come to you.
22 “Please receive instruction from His mouth
And establish His words in your heart.
23 “If you return to the Almighty, you will be restored;
If you remove unrighteousness far from your tent,
24 And place your gold in the dust,
And the gold of Ophir among the stones of the brooks,
25 Then the Almighty will be your gold
And choice silver to you.
26 “For then you will delight in the Almighty
And lift up your face to God. NASB

 

 

Give Us Our Daily Bread

/ Jana / 1 Comment

In the book of John, chapter 5, Jesus had just completed feeding the masses with two fish and five loaves. And the next evening He walked on the water to catch up with His disciples who were rowing in boats. (You might want to let your brain and your faith actually connect on just those two facts alone.) Got it? Okay, let’s continue.

The next day, the recently fed masses went looking for Jesus. “I tell you the truth, you are looking for me, not because you saw miraculous signs but because you ate the loaves and had your fill. Do not work for food that spoils, but for food that endures to eternal life, which the Son of Man will give you. On Him, God the Father has placed His seal of approval.” Jesus said.

Let’s pause here a moment. Why are you looking for Jesus? Do you want the miraculous supernatural life? Or do you want your belly filled? I know in my own life, I get sucked into only asking for mortgage payments when God wants me learn how to co-rule in His Kingdom.

The crowd asks Jesus a pertinent question. “What must we do to do the works God requires?”

To the surprise of us all who have been seduced into a “working for God’s pleasure” mentality, Jesus answered, “The work of God is this: to believe in the one He has sent.”

Huh? That’s it? Believe in Jesus? Not quite. This verse immediately sent my mind back to Psalm 78 which recounts the plight of the children of Israel. After all that God did in their midst, they were doomed to the desert because “they did not believe in God or trust His deliverance.”

To believe in Jesus is not a glib comment, or fish logo, or wristband. This is a “way of life” dependence on a Person. Not on programs, jobs, families, churches, bank accounts. Jesus is the central nervous system to the whole of our life. In Him, we live and move and have our being.

I’m not sure the folks with Jesus connected the dots yet because they turned around and asked Him for a sign. “What miraculous sign then will You give that we may see it and believe You? What will You do? Our forefathers at the manna in the desert; as it is written: He gave them bread from heaven to eat.”

What are you asking Jesus for? Are you asking for more of His heart? Or are you still trying to be convinced that He is the Messiah? Do you want His life or are you satisfied with manna? If ever there was a case of selective memory, this is it.

That manna experiment didn’t end so well for their forefathers and they are asking Jesus for the same thing. And Jesus helped them raise their sights. He said, “I tell you the truth, it is not Moses who has given you bread from heaven, but it is my Father who gives you the true bread from heaven. For the bread of God is He who comes down from heaven and gives life to the world.”

Can I dare to ask you who is your Moses? Who are you crediting for your provision and success and supply? Is it your work, your husband, your parents? Do you look to them to provide for you when it is our Father who gives you all you need for life and godliness?

Slowly a new hunger is stirring in those around Jesus. The people asked Him, “Sir, from now on give us this bread.” Then Jesus declared, “I am the bread of life.”

I don’t know about you, but for the first time in my life I understand why Jesus instructed us to pray: “Give us this day our daily bread.” It’s not the physical bread but the spiritual He was speaking of. Jesus has just told the disciples in Chapter 4, “I have food to eat you know nothing about.”

The disciples, like us, were still thinking the physical and asked a hilarious question: “Then His disciples said to each other, ‘Could someone have brought Him food?'”

Does God care about the physical needs? Of course He does. In fact Jesus tells His followers later, “Do not run after these things like the pagans do, your heavenly Father know you need them. But seek first the kingdom of God and all these things will be added to you.”

What is so startling is the remainder of this conversation with Jesus. He has made this declaration and then proceeds to tell them “He who comes to me will never go hungry, and he who believes in me will never be thirsty. But as I told you, you have seen me and still you do not believe me.”

Wow. My head is spinning today about what I am asking and why and who. I want to believe more. I want to feast on The Bread of Life. How about you?