Digging Up Bones on FB

So I thought it was just me. But then I do a couple of retreats and I hear the same thing over and over. I ask women or men, “How did this crazy thing start anyway?”

“Well they asked me to be their friend on Facebook.”

Sometimes there is a reason that seasons pass and doors are closed.  Sometimes there are very good reasons that they should stay closed.

Connecting with old lovers while you’re married: not a good idea.

Talking more to your ex boyfriend on FB than you do to your husband, or he does his wife: not a good idea.

Friending ex husbands or wives?  Uhm, wasn’t the point of the divorce to NOT be in relationship?

And what if you aren’t married?  Aren’t rules different then?  I don’t know; what are you looking for?  Facebook is great for connecting people but it is also great for inserting people that have no place in your life.

I mean seriously…why on earth do I want to be “Friends” with a person with whom my only connection is sexual stupidity in high school? What is he supposed to say to me?  “Gee remember when we ——–? And now I see you have two kids? How great. And how is your husband?”

I know this is all under the blood of Christ. I have forgiven myself and them. Maybe you have too. But is it healthy to renew these relationships? I would say after talking to several men and women who are losing their hearts to phantom relationships, this breach in boundaries is just one more attack on marriage, or the hope of a healthy relationship. People can be toxic for us, even from afar.

Perhaps there is no sexual contact. But isn’t the mind and its ability to rewrite history strong enough to distract from the now? I am talking to people who just like “to watch what is happening in this person’s life.”  What do you think fosters fantasy anyway?  Watching from afar with no reality of relationship.

Brothers and sisters, beware.   Corinthians says “just because something is technically legal doesn’t make it spiritually beneficial.” (The Message) I encourage you to guard your hearts in Christ Jesus.  Guard your homes.

Don’t allow the enemy to entice your hearts away, especially when your heart is dissatisfied or hurting in your marriage or relationship status already. Don’t believe the lie that it is harmless. It is not.

“The name of the Lord is a strong tower, the righteous run into it and are safe.” Proverbs 18:10  Run to the Lord, and “defriend” the obstacles to your real relationships.

The Wonders of Men

Okay, so admit it.  You know that you’re curious as to what this blog is about…Well I just finished a really powerful marriage retreat. (Thank you Lord for coming, and thank you friends for bringing your hearts!)  And while I was prepping for that, I ran across this book, written by a man, that actually admitted that men “do goofy things.” His words. Goofy. Funny, inane and sometimes altogether inexplicable.

Shortly after reading this chapter, I had this telling experience. Chuck was flying around getting ready for work and he brought me a shirt that had some faint dirt marks on it. “Is there anything I can do for this?” he asked. I suggested a Clorox pen, but he said he was afraid the chemical would irritate his neck since the smudge was on the neck line.

“Got it.” I said. “So instead, spray some Shout on it, rub it to remove the dirt, then moisten a paper towel and dab it off.” Simple, to the point, clear and precise. He bustled off in search of the Shout spray.

“You good?”  I hollered over my shoulder as I was finishing up the girls’ lunches.

“Yes,” he mumbled.

Several minutes passed and he came back in the kitchen in his t-shirt with his dress shirt still in his hand. “Did that not work?”  I asked perplexed, being confident of my solution.

“No.”

“Really?”

“Well I couldn’t find the Shout so I sprayed Wrinkle Release on it and it didn’t seem to help any.”

I searched his face to see if he was making a joke. He was not.

I stood there dumbfounded myself; do I laugh out loud, or cry hysterically?

“Honey,” I began carefully, “what exactly did you think Wrinkle Release would do for the dirt? Help it stay fresh and crisp?”

Now he looked at me searching my face. We both cracked up. “Is it just a lot of fun being a man?” I asked.

“Yeah sometimes. This is how new discoveries are made you know.”

Goofy. That’s all I could think of it. But you know what I have discovered, I like goofy.

There are crazy differences about us, male and female. But both are in the image of God.  And it is in these funny moments I see that God is so smart for making us so polar in some ways and then saying to us, “Okay, ya’ll, live together in the same house!”

But laughing with Chuck also made me think about how big God’s capacity must be when we do inane things ourselves with Him. He gives us clear instruction and we go off in left field and wonder why His plan isn’t working. We’re goofy. Plain and simple. I can just hear God say sometimes, “How is that working for ya? You are using the wrong remedy for the wrong issue, but still expecting the same good results.  Want to try it My way this time?”

And even better, I really think God laughs too.  I think He likes our goofy too.