God’s love

The Glory of Peach Butter

/ Jana / Leave a comment

The Zim Celebration on Tuesday night has really been an ordeal. Broken computers, room changes, etc. But more than that, it has required culling through moments and memories, photos and videos. It is a lot of life packed into three weeks that I am trying to boil down to a few minutes. All the effort is pointed to one thing: God’s glory.

It reminds me of the other day when I was teaching the girls to make a family favorite, peach butter. You take almost too ripe peaches and cut out the bad places, the bruises or mold spots. That is what I mean by too ripe. In fact, the best peaches for peach butter are the ones the grocer is going to throw out.

These culls are deceiving. They have bad spots, but if you cut into them a little there is still good flesh toward the middle. So you slice off the bad, and then split them open to remove the pit. If they are “cling-free” you pop the pit out. But if they are not, then you have to cut the peach off the pit. Did I mention that you don’t peel the peaches?  You don’t take their skins off, you just wash them.

So they have been washed, and trimmed, and pitted and NOW…they go into the blender to be ground up and then into the pot with sugar to be “cooked down” as Granny said. You heat the peach goop into a slow rolling boil and until it is a slow drip off the spoon. There is nothing better than this old farm recipe. It is southern glory at its finest.

Is anybody else seeing the human parallels here?  I want to be a beautiful flawless peach. But those kinds of peaches are hard and not so sweet. What I am instead is the kind that a lot of people would throw away.  But God.

God cuts out my bruises and moldy spots. But God doesn’t stop there. Then He splits me wide open and takes out the hard pits. Next  He puts me in a blender and grinds me up. If that isn’t bad enough He heats up my life and circumstances so that I feel like I am in a rolling boil.

But God. He doesn’t mind the extra effort I require. Doesn’t mind getting His hands dirty while He’s working on me. And He knows just how long to grind, how much sugar to add, how long to let me boil. And then the He gets to be the first one to taste and enjoy His new creation.

God is in the business of creating something wonderful out nothing. He gets all the glory that way. With this said, don’t miss us bragging on God Tuesday night. Truly He made glory out of nothing.

Dear Diary…

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Have you ever had the “song” thing happen?  Remember the high school or college romance when you had “Our Song”? Sigh. But the part that nobody ever told you about was that every time you heard the song from that  infatuated moment forward until you were wrinkled and gray you would think of that person, that time, that romance.

I don’t know about you, but these are not always happy memories for me. I don’t like being reminded of him, or us, or how much it hurt.

But God.

Last night, He showed me how He is the Redeemer of all things. Because last night, I was on this excellent date with Chuck, and over the speaker I hear this song. It was a song God had given me a year ago. I stopped mid-sentence to listen. And to remember. He reminded me of all that was going on during that time, and all that He had healed (obviously with Chuck and I being on an excellent date). But He also reminded me of the His love for me.

No one, no one, no one
Can get in the way of what I feel for you

Who knew? Who knew that Jesus remembered “Our Song”?  Or that when memories come back from this Love Affair they aren’t hurtful. But indescribable. Beautiful. Wonderful. A love affair that will never end.

I am beginning to see that Jesus likes to share His entries in His diary about me — with me. Love notes, whispers, songs, and dried leaf hearts. He is the pursuing Lover we have been looking for our whole lives . . . .

Listen. You will hear Him singing over you.

Eyes Wide Open

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When God speaks, what do you do? I was driving down the road and Charis unexpectedly changed the station on the radio. But she pushed a button of a station we rarely, if ever, listen to. And here come the words:

‘Cause it’s you and me and all of the people
With nothing to do nothing to prove
And it’s you and me and all of the people
And I don’t know why I can’t keep my eyes off of you

Something about you now
I can’t quite figure out
Everything she does is beautiful
Everything she does is right

‘Cause it’s you and me and all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to lose

The “voices”  in my head immediately shouted out: “You are so vain, so foolish to believe that’s for you.”  But sometimes, if you listen rightly, even the “voices” go too far and betray themselves. Because they ranted on and said, “You are not beautiful.”

With that lie, the source was exposed, and my spirit snapped to respond. “Yes I am. Jesus said so.” And the Spirit whispered softly, “Good, now… listen again.” The song washed over me and my heart opened like a flower opens in the morning to receive the sun. “Love you back, Lord,” I prayed. With a full heart, I pondered, What will you and I do together with all the people?

All this in a split second. All this in the middle of an ordinary day. With to-do lists, with kids, with bills, with fears and hopes. All this and more God does just to remind us – we are not alone. We are not on our own. It is “You and me.” The two of you, you and Him. And He loves doing life with us. Really. Even the mundane, is not to Him.  He just can’t keep his eyes off of you.

Open your heart to the songs, touches, whispers of God. There is nothing better.

Are You Excited?

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Yesterday was Zoo day with Zooee. (That is Charis’ nickname, Zoo-ee.)  At 5:45 a.m. she jumped in our bed and whispered, “I am so excited, I just can’t wait to go to the Zoo today.”

In my pre-coffee grogginess, I gave her a warm hug and felt her back. “Are you dressed already?” I mumbled.

“Yes!” she all but squeaked. “I looked at the time and I know that we leave at “25 o’clock”  so I didn’t want to be late.”

“Honey,” Chuck said, “We leave at 7:25 not 6:25.”

“Ohhhh,” she said.

The whole rest of the day, from getting to school to waiting in line, to seeing each beautiful animal, Charis’ eyes were glowing. This was one exciting day. At dinner, she had to replay the day for us. She acted out the otters sliding up against the glass, the bird swooping close over her head in the bird show, the slide at Kid’s Cove and many other “moments.”

It was so good for my soul.  Not the child mania of course with groups of colored t-shirts screaming and yelling, or the near comatose chaperones trying to keep up. Her eager anticipation before Zoo day, and her enthusiasm the day of reminded me of what it was like to just be willing to be “wowed.”

I told Chuck for this moment in time, “It is so beautiful to watch a happy child have happy expectations.” Don’t get me wrong, there are many, many children who have no happiness, or hope of happiness. Just watch the movie “Precious” to get a reality check for way too many children right under our noses.

But for this golden moment, it was heavenly. It was a glimpse of our God-image.  She was full of hope and joy, grateful and simply wiggling with “what is to come.” No worry, no doubt, no demands.

Do you have many of these moments with the Lord?  I mean, really. Do you allow yourself time to get out of the muck to look up, look out, and see the “wonder of what is to come”? Do you ever get wiggly over just having a day to play, to have an adventure, to be alive?

There really is something to that childlike faith thing that Jesus talked about. He is so so smart.

An Invitation to Trust

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My friend Toni unknowingly blew my head off one day when she was talking about obedience. She said, “We have a wrong thought about obedience. It is not a hard, mean thing.  It is kind of like when you were a kid and your dad or mom says, ‘Hey I am going to the store, you wanna come?’ ” 

It’s an invitation. An invitation to trust the One who is asking you to come along.

I have brewed on this conversation with my insightful friend for a long time now. Every time I hear Chuck invite one of the girls to go on an errand, the Lord takes my understanding a little deeper. Why does Chuck ask? He wants to have some one-on-one time. He wants to talk to them about something specific. He has a surprise for them. He just enjoys their company.

Rarely do the girls fire off these questions:
Where are we going?
How will we get there?
How long will we be gone?
How much will it cost?
How will I pay for this?
How am I supposed to do this alone?

You see, all they know and rest in is that their dad, imperfect but loving dad, has asked them to go somewhere. The details don’t really matter because it is about the two of them going on an adventure.

If you told them, “you have to go”, the reactions would be different wouldn’t they? That Self kicks up in a moment. And this is the beauty, and the scandal, of our free will choosing of God. Our perfect Loving Father has asked us to trust His leading, trust His way. Trust Him. Even when we don’t understand the details and we can’t foresee the outcome. Jesus said, “Follow me.” He did not say, “You have to follow me.” He invited them into an adventure. And even though His followers surely did not know the future, they saw in His eyes something they could not refuse.

Where are you chafing?  What are you fighting for or against?  Who are you fighting? And what if you just looked instead into the eyes of God?  What if you listened again to what He said, ‘Follow me’, and without throwing out a thousand rebuttals, you just trusted the Heart that was asking you to come on an adventure?

 9 Do not be like the horse or the mule,
       which have no understanding
       but must be controlled by bit and bridle
       or they will not come to you.
Psalm 32:9

My Soul Sings Out “Halle-lu-jah”

/ Jana / 1 Comment

There is no one like our God.  No one.  Not just when things go like we want them, but when all of life becomes dark, gray or numb. There is no one like Him, Them.  No one who washes us out of Their glorious riches like They do. There is no one loving and leading like They do. No one who can be Father, Brother, Lover like They can. No one who sees our desperate need and reaches out to heal and restore. Not disinterested observers from afar. No, this God is right in the middle of our business. They get in there and wash, and redeem and breathe dead bones back to life.

They delight in being Our God.

Listening right now to the song “Reign in Us” by Starfield. How it makes my soul soar:

Oh great and mighty one
with one desire we come
that You would reign that You would reign in us
we’re offering up our lives
a living sacrifice
that You would reign that You would reign in us

Spirit of the living God fall fresh again
come search our hearts and purify our lives
we need Your perfect love we need Your discipline
we’re lost unless You guide us with Your light

Lord Jesus
come lead us
we’re desperate for Your touch

What are you desperate for?  Life, hope, health, friends, love, money, peace? Come to the One Who promised to meet all your needs out of His glorious abundance. He lacks no good thing.  This whole Zimbabwe trip has forever changed my life and I haven’t even left yet.  The question about God that I had to face is this:  I know You are Good. I know You are Here. I know You are Able. But are You Willing for me?

What  He revealed was that I had a lot of false props in my life.  Lots of places that I leaned on other than Him. And one by one, (and I am quite sure we are not done yet), He is showing me, He doesn’t just say, “I am the Life.”  HE MEANS:  I am the Life. I AM your life.

Every way, every day, every need, every desire. I have so many things to give testimony about to brag on Him.

God has provided all our Zimbabwe funds! You should hear the stories… Only God could have done that.

God has rescued my marriage and we celebrated 19 years on April 13.  Only God could have done that.

God came down in overwhelming extravagance at the retreat. Women were given wings to fly. Only God could have done that.

On and on.  What about you?  What will you give testimony about today?  Don’t miss the power of God that is released when we praise Him in every season, act, and issue.  “And they overcome him by the blood of the Lamb and the word of their testimony.”

Reign in Us

You thought of us before the world began to breathe
You knew our names before we came to be
You saw the very day we fall away from You
and how desperately we need to be redeemed

Lord Jesus
come lead us
we’re desperate for Your touch

Oh great and mighty one
with one desire we come
that You would reign that You would reign in us
we’re offering up our lives
a living sacrifice
that You would reign that You would reign in us

Spirit of the living God fall fresh again
come search our hearts and purify our lives
we need Your perfect love we need Your discipline
we’re lost unless You guide us with Your light

Lord Jesus
come lead us
we’re desperate for Your touch

Oh great and mighty one
with one desire we come
that You would reign that You would reign in us
we’re offering up our lives
a living sacrifice
that You would reign that You would reign in us

we cry out for Your life to revive us cry out
for Your love to define us cry out
for Your mercy to keep us
blameless until You return

oh great and mighty one
with one desire we come
that You would reign that You would reign in us
we’re offering up our lives
a living sacrifice
that You would reign that You would reign in us
[2 x]

You would reign in us

So reign please reign in us
come purify our hearts
we need Your touch
come cleanse us like a flood
and send us out
so the world may know You reign You reign in us
[3 x]

When Life and Death Collide

/ Jana / 4 Comments

Within a week there have been two infant deaths in my world. One unsaved woman delivered a still born at eight months. Another woman, a strong believer, was carrying triplets, and one baby died. In the process, all three babies were delivered by C-section. The two surviving babies are in critical condition.

And often the first question is, “How could something like this happen?”  More piercing questions sound like, “How could GOD let something like this happen?”

Really gut-wrenching, honest questions sound like, “How can this be good in any way?”

If we are not careful, these are the horrible moments when we throw around spiritual band-aids because we don’t know what to say:

“At least you have another child.”
“At least you didn’t have to fill-in-the-blank…”
“God must be teaching you something…”
“God works all things together…”

If we are not careful, because we are so uncomfortable with pain, agony, and despair, we will make all manner of attempts to fix, tidy, gloss over, and cover the gaping hole in those broken hearts.

And if we are not careful, we will miss the aroma of Christ. I told my friend who is truly broken-hearted over our friend’s loss, “God is good, and He is here.” He is right here. In the middle of this mystery. And misery. He knows exactly how it feels to lose a child.

The Bible says to mourn with those who mourn. And to trust that God is doing the same.  I remember delivering Judah when we found out he had died at 16 weeks. He was so small, he fit in our hand. To some it seemed odd because he was so little. But he was our son, is our son.

Sure we got a gamut of responses — the gossip, the “glad it didn’t happen to me”, the “you can always have another baby”, even the God comments that cut like knives rather than soothe like a balm. But the sweetest gifts I received during that time were friends and family who would simply weep with us. That’s all. It hurt and that was okay.

The help and healing came from those who had nothing to offer but their tears. These precious few didn’t come to my bedside needing me to make them feel better, needing me to explain anything or defend God. They just came to journey with me and pray for me, when I was too weak to pray myself.  My friend Nan says, “When you grieve together the love goes deeper still.”

Oddly enough, yesterday, the same day we heard about the death of the triplet, my sweet friend Amanda gave birth to her baby boy. And so we live. Life and death side by side. And somehow we are comforted because we stake our whole existence on one belief: God is good and He is here.

“Sweetly Broken”

/ Jana / 1 Comment

The Lord met me at the beach last week.  I am still in awe. Standing on the seashore I always get caught up in the seashells.  I just love them.  They are so beautiful and colorful. They are diverse and repeating. And for the most part, they are broken. That is why I only look for the perfect ones.

On the first day of the beach trip, I was so caught up in looking for the pretty shells that I had to stop, drop and roll.  Stop looking. Drop the handful and roll my eyes out on the water.

To which I immediately heard, “I am so glad you came.”

After I fumbled an apology for getting distracted by the lesser thing, the Lord and I started a dialogue about how seashells are really sea debris.  They are only indicators of life that once was. We talked for some time about learning to focus on the deeper life of God, the unseen reality of Him, instead of running from shell to shell on the shore. Instead of seeking the hidden living treasures of the ocean, I was captivated by the trash of the sea, the remnants and reminders of what lies in the depths.

“But, I still like them so much, ” I sighed. To which He replied, “I know, Me too. It is a way for you to see glimpses of My beauty.”

Fast forward to dinner that night with friends, and I was recounting the conversation. Then my friend Dana offered to read a poem that the Lord had given her.  I sat there stunned as she read about the beauty of the broken shells like the beauty of broken lives, because life pours out when both are broken.

So the next day on my walk with God, I kept hearing the song, “Sweetly Broken” (by Jeremy Riddle). I asked the Lord what He was trying to say about that song and the conversation from the night before. And Wow. I saw a broken shell in the shape of a heart. I thought the Lord was just trying to love on me, but He told me to keep looking. So I found another. And another. And many, many more.

“What is this, Lord?”

“You were looking for perfect shells. But you can only find the hearts when they are broken.”

“Like people,” I said. “Like me,” I whispered.

“Yes, sweetly broken,” He said.

I began to weep. On the beach. In front of everyone, but I didn’t care. I thought about my own story. And the story of so many women and men. And you only see our hearts when we are broken. Like our Lord, we saw His heart when it was broken.

And His life has poured out on us, and our lives on others. Sweetly broken, the aroma of Christ. Hallelujah, what a God…

Blood and Water

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Let’s stretch a little shall we? Here are two words to consider: consecrate and purify. Or in other words, set apart and cleansed.

There are a lot of parallels between the birth and death of our Lord. I have never thought it before. Ever. But now I am seeing them everywhere. Let’s look at the blood and the water.

Jesus came to this earth through blood and water. In childbirth, Mary’s water broke, and she delivered her Son in the same way we all arrived, by pain and blood. And when we look at Jesus’ death, we shudder at the blood and pain. But when they pierced His side, blood and water also flowed out.

Why does this matter? Because all through the Old and New Testaments you see the same thing. Blood and water. In the Holy of Holies there was blood on the altar and a laver of water for washing. With Elijah there was a blood sacrifice and 12 jars of water. Even Jesus was baptized before He was crucified.

At the Last Supper, Jesus used water to wash the disciples feet and gave them wine as a symbol of His blood.  Think God is trying to tell us something? Blood and water. Consecrated and purified.

It is the blood that pays for sin; it is the water that washes us. We are not only paid for, we are cleansed, forever. He is trying to tell us, “Everything you need, I have. Everything it takes to live this life, from birth through blood and water, to the resurrected life, through blood and water, I have accomplished this in you, for you.”

“Let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled [with blood] to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water.” (Hebrews 10:22)

Consider today what it means to be set apart and cleansed by God.  When Jesus uttered, “It is finished,” it was not the end of His life He was referring to, but rather the beginning. . . . The beginning of our lives made holy, and wholly new.

Kissed the Face of God

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There are two kisses that changed the course of history.  Mark Lowry summed up the first in his song, “Mary Did You Know?”  He thoughtfully and beautifully penned the words,

“Did you know that your baby boy has walked where angels trod?
And when you kiss your little baby, you have kissed the face of God.”

I just can’t get over that visual. Of holding and caressing the newborn face of Jesus and also knowing that “the Son is the radiance of God’s glory and the exact representation of His being.” (Hebrews 1)  But another kiss to that Holy face was a catalyst beyond compare.  “Jesus asked him, ‘Judas, are you betraying the Son of Man with a kiss?’ ” Luke 22:48

One kiss was proof of the prophecy fulfilled that she was holding in her arms. The other kiss was also a prophecy fulfilled. But it makes us so uncomfortable. Many people try to reason through the betrayal of Judas.  Some say he acted out of disappointment when he realized Jesus was not the warrior king to overthrow Rome. (Yet.) Some say he was jealous of Jesus, others say he was a plant from the beginning.

But Jesus picked Judas. And He loved him and walked with him for three years, teaching and exhorting.  Is it possible, even remotely, that Judas betrayed the Son of God for sheer money?  Is it so difficult for us to believe that we would trade the Truth of God for cash in our pockets? 

This is a question to reflect on. It may hit closer to home than we think. Do we gamble, trade, bank on a sure thing jingling in our hand, more than the God in our midst? Perhaps our answer makes the redemption story all the greater. For He loves us still.

Enjoy this song that really speaks to this kind of love.  “And I don’t know what to do with a love like that…”

 And the problem is this
We were bought with a kiss
But the cheek still turned
Even when it wasn’t hit

And I don’t know
What to do with a love like that
And I don’t know
How to be a love like that

When all the love in the world
Is right here among us
And hatred too
And so we must choose
What our hands will do

Where there is pain
Let there be grace
Where there is suffering
Bring serenity
For those afraid
Help them be brave
Where there is misery
Bring expectancy
And surely we can change
Surely we can change
Something

And the problem it seems
Is with you and me
Not the Love who came
To repair everything

And I don’t know
What to do with a love like that
And I don’t know
How to be a love like that

When all the love in the world
Is right here among us
And hatred too
And so we must choose
What our hands will do

Where there is pain
Let us bring grace
Where there is suffering
Bring serenity
For those afraid
Let us be brave
Where there is misery
Let us bring them relief
And surely we can change
Surely we can change
Oh surely we can change
Something

Oh, the world’s about to change
The whole world’s about to change