Freedom

Release Me

/ Jana / 1 Comment

I woke up with a fragments of a song in my head this morning. I heard it yesterday in Jazzercise and it has been rolling around in my head ever since. And when I looked up the lyrics I almost laughed out loud. Let me explain.

Try to picture this. There are 40 – 50 women. Varying ages, shapes and sizes. Jocks, Rocks, Dancers, Divas. But also there are the Wrinkled, Sagging, Wishful and Wanna-bes. We collectively come together to cheer each other on. We motivate and inspire. All this done by just showing up. And while I am there, working on my outer shell, God works on my inner health.  He motivates and inspires. Not for the goal of perfection in the physical. But for the transforming of my perspective.

You see, every woman there works for the goal of seeing herself beautiful. Not just being beautiful. But SEEING herself as beautiful. Some are satisfied, some are killing themselves trying. Most think it is an endless battle they ultimately lose.

But God shows up to tell anyone who will listen how pleased He is that we are taking care of something He loves so very much. And an odd moment occurs every time I go. When you get us all side by side, sweat by sweat, you can really see the beauty and diversity of God. He has made us. Each one. Every one.   What a lot of people call working out, I call Worship.  Because I kid you not, when I show up to invest in this body that God has given me, He meets me there. And He sings over me. Really. 

In the gym, it is really loud, and the workout is really strenuous. But God will have some line blurt out in the middle of a song. It happens like an answer to the question in my head. It happens a lot. So now, I’ve learned to tune my ear. Instead of it being a random, bizarre experience, it is part of our connection, our conversation.

Yesterday, my question to Him was about how to manage all the desires of my heart and still manage the real life demands that coexist. All I heard was:

Release me, release my body…
blah blah blah

Release me, cause I’m not able to…
blah blah blah

Release me, I just can’t do this myself…
blah blah blah

The remainder of the day, I sang those lines. “Release me.” Release me from my need to demand and control. “Release me, cause I’m not able to” do this life alone, nor do I want to. Release me to see You and feel You. Release me from the lie that it is all up to me, all on me, all about me. “I just can’t do this myself.”

So when those lines surfaced again this morning, I looked up the whole song by Agnes. And it is crazy. This song is about a woman who can’t break away from a bad relationship. It has an “addictive hold.” She has no voice or thought except to be consumed by this man. She “knows it’s wrong” but wants it anyway. So she sings, “Release me…” The problem is who is she asking? There is not an addiction that will release you for the asking, nor a user that will stop using because you are hurting. So we are destined to “do what we do not want to do.” Unless. Unless we ask the Right Person to release us.  There is a Healer, a Warrior, a Savior who died to release us from this body of death.  This Lover longs to see us soar in Him, to be released into all that He has ever created us to be.

Who are you asking to release you? You really can’t do this alone.

Prayer for Restoration

/ laurajones / Leave a comment

Greetings!

Jana is teaching a women’s retreat tonight and part of the day tomorrow.  This song came to heart to pray over her and the women who are there to hear her.  Join us in asking that the Lord would restore souls.  And revel in this truth yourself: He’s called you by a new name.

Blessings!

Laura

RESTORATION SONG by David Brymer

You bring restoration
You bring restoration
You bring restoration
To my soul

You’ve taken my pain
Called me by a new name
You’ve taken my shame
And in it’s place, You give me joy

You take mourning and turn it into dancing
You take weeping and turn it into laughing
You take mourning and turn it into dancing
You take my sadness and turn it into joy

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
You make all things new, all things new

When Words Just Aren’t Enough

/ Jana / Leave a comment

I have been trying to get my words around how the Lord showed up this weekend. We named the retreat “Yes and Amen” 6 weeks ago.  But little did I realize that the title was God foretelling what He was planning to do. We spent the weekend re-discovering the promises of God. That they are Yes and Amen in Christ. But they were not just words on dusty pages. We let those promises fill us with His power and we began to dream again. We dared to sit in His presence and let Him wash away our fears, breathe new life and courage into our hearts.

We began to believe we are more than women. We are His Women created for this time and for a specific God-ordained destiny, with His Holy Spirit power shaping and forming and giving us wings to fly. Because the Holy Spirit dwells in us, “we have been disqualified from mundane and ordinary lives.”  We were made to “shine like stars as we hold out the word of life.”

And shine we did and do and will. Could we have planned any better celebration? One sweet lamb was baptized in the cold mountain water. We all stood there stupified. We had cheered, and prayed, and sung. And we couldn’t leave. We all felt it. The power of God.  You simply did not want to walk away…

Here is a beautiful offering of what happened. To God be the glory…

“Be silent
rejoice
your spirit is cleansed

You are water
free as a rushing river,
no longer dammed, damned
for I am your current

We pour and shift
around boulders
without slowing

A force
in constant motion, stop-less
Obstacles are still, lifeless

can not steal power
when you trust and live
within me

love,
God”
by Michelle Westenberger Carrico

Hitting a Nerve

/ Jana / 2 Comments

It is so much fun to let go of a ball in a pinball machine.  It starts setting off lights and bells everywhere. Such was yesterday’s blog.

Sistahs just like me (members of the round belly club) gave me a resounding Amen.  DING DING DING
Others gently instructed me on how or why to process with understanding. FLASH FLASH

I so love journeying with us in all different places. Nice to know that I am not alone in my frustration; nice to know that others have moved beyond, or never experienced it. But I find I am laughing at us all. In love of course. Not sure there is a right answer on this one.

He is the answer. For me, for you, in the middle of the moment. And you know what? The moments are often ugly and that is okay.  You may not ever get asked that because that might not ever set you off. But I did, and it did.

You see, my Holy Dad set me up.  He knew that reaction was in there, and I did not. Think of it as my own personal “show and tell.”  He showed me what He was seeing so He could tell me how much He loves me and wants to be my everything.  John Dee tells me often, “He wanted me to see what He always knew was there.” Truth in the innermost parts.

And then Jesus came right after the wounding and started reminding me of all of His sweet murmurings in my ear and heart.

As if that was not enough, the Spirit guided me into real revelation…. about “that girl.” Do you have this? The memory, the hurt from middle school, high school, college, the same “that girl” who has showed up all through life. You know the one – she always made you feel like crap. If you let her.

I just took a comprehensive exam yesterday. And you know historically, I don’t test too good.  But I am a quick, quick learner. I love the way He simply won’t let me live in lies. That my friends, round or flat, is freedom.

How about you?  When you blow up, where do you go?

Power of Confession

/ Jana / Leave a comment

I have been having some interesting conversations about confession. In fact, I had this dream about a dear friend of mine who is running hard after freedom. We had had dinner together and she was saying, “I just don’t know what to do next?” That night I dreamed she was sitting in the middle of this swirling wind and a voice kept repeating, “Confess that you may be healed.”

When she began confessing all the hidden places, lies, hurts, people, beliefs, the whirlwind got stronger and stronger around her and began changing colors. She was laughing and crying and confessing.

Did that just weird you out as much as it did me?

But then there is another friend who is trying get free from tragic happenings in her past. Again, “confess” was the word that came to mind for her.

Cliff notes on confession:

Remember that confession is agreeing with God.

It is owning and calling sin by name: people, actions, feelings, etc.

It is being willing to think about sin the way God does.

People think that confession produces condemnation but actually the opposite is true. When we call things what they are, we walk in the light of Truth. Nothing hidden or disguised. No lies. God already knows the truth, He desires that we KNOW the truth that we might be set free.

This can very hard to do with such an enemy on our heels. There is this Fantastic book that addresses head on the enemy’s tactics but it has a Scandalous title. All the church ladies prepare to gasp in offense…(Wait, are there really church ladies reading this blog? Right. So forward ho.)

The book is called “Emotional Bullshit.” There I said it. And I wish I had written it because it captures some really great insight into Denial, Delusion and Blame. The author even calls those three combined tactics the Toxic Trio.

Here is how it works. I am confronted by my own need to take responsibility for an action or belief. I don’t want to confront or own that responsibility so I deny it. Then I create some story that supports my denial, then I blame someone else for what is happening to me.

Let’s use food as an example. (Did I just hear a collective groan?) I am not taking care of my physical body. I am stiff and don’t like the way I look, and I need to lose weight for my health. These are the facts. This is where I need to take 100% responsibility to change my lifestyle so that those three things might change. Exercise and a better diet will decrease the stiffness, change the way I look, and improve my health. I have the power over all of those choices.

BUT: if I refuse to exert my power over those choices, I have to create some story as to WHY I can’t change. So I exaggerate, or fabricate, or procrastinate the circumstances to make up a B.S. story about why I am stuck. And almost ALWAYS my B.S. story will have someone ELSE being the reason or problem, the culprit, the cause of why I can’t change. See if my health is dependent on someone or something else, then I am not responsible for me. Voila’! Emotional Bullshit at its finest.

This is why confession is the key to all things. Confession is a completely counter-flesh concept. Only the Spirit of God leads the spirit to come to the the throne of a merciful God. It is the Spirit who convicts of sin. Not accusation, that is demonic. Not condemnation, that is only part of the enemy’s tactics.

But confession comes from God and returns to God. When you confess with your mouth those things that you are afraid of saying to God, you will be healed. It is His promise to us.

“He who conceals his sins does not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy.” Proverbs: 28:13

So in every day life, not just the stronghold issues we face, but moment by moment, we ask the Lord to sweep our hearts. When He puts His loving finger on that heart attitude or action, word or deed, then we don’t resort to Emotional B.S. but we learn to confess.

“Yes Lord, thank You for showing me that. I see You are making me whole hearted.”

Just watch yourself today. It can be a fun exercise to see how much you shift and squirm to get away from being responsible for your own life…