desires

Do you want to be free, or not?

/ Jana / Leave a comment

So yesterday morning my cat, Dante, brought  in a full grown chipmunk.

I heard the scrambling and the screeching and I ran to see it just in time as the poor chipmunk leaped from the cat’s mouth as Dante fumbled down the stairs.

(Why the cat felt the need to bring it downstairs is unclear and absurd. Getting in the cat door with a full grown animal is impressive enough, but down the stairs? Anyway…)

Immediately the other cat, Leonardo, and the dog, Lucy, were on high alert, sniffing and running after the poor creature who is also on high alert. The chipmunk is panicking and smelling and trying to find someplace to hide quickly. With a lunge, it ran behind the piano.

I am too am now on high alert. I put one cat in the bedroom and closed the door. I put the other cat upstairs. And closed the door. I put the dog in the crate and closed the door.

For the chipmunk…I opened the basement door. Wide open. Empty room with a open door

It did not budge.

I got a broom and tried to gently push it out from behind the piano so it can see the open door. See the freedom.  But the broom was too short.

And so we stood there. The chipmunk and I.  It was hiding and cowering. I was standing there waiting, hoping it would smell the scents of the freshly rained on morning and peek around the piano and see freedom.

“Okay buddy. It’s all on you. I have done all I can.”

I removed the obstacles. I opened the door. The rest was on the chipmunk.

Freedom is choice.

For the chipmunk. For us.

We can cower in fear all our lives. We can hide in dark places and feel sorry for ourselves.

Or we can peek around the corner and see that God has already bound our tormentors and has opened the door to freedom. Wide open. The rest is up to us.

Choose freedom today. Freedom from anxiety,  anger,  self pity and even sadness. There is a fresh newly rained on morning awaiting. All you have to do is go through the open door.

The chipmunk finally did. So can you.

 

Photo Credit: tellthemisaidsomething.com

 

 

Awakened by the God of the Ocean

/ Jana / Leave a comment

Years ago, I remember reading a profound little book called Gifts from the Sea by Ann Morrow Lindbergh.  I was a new Christian, a wanna-be writer and a newlywed. Her book was so deep and so grown up, I missed much of her wisdIMG_1107om the first time I read it.

It seemed surreal that she would leave her family, or could leave it, just to go to a beach to unwind and write. And yet, here I am — waiting, seeking  what the ocean might bring to my distracted soul; here I am yearning for the presence of God. It’s not as easy as it sounds.

Like my sister from generations passed, I am disentangling myself from the daily demands of family, work, ministry, and life. They are beautiful  cords that weave through and decorate my life. Yet I confess the tautness and pull of them sometimes knot up my mind. (I suspect I am not alone.) Ann Morrow described a woman’s life being the hub of a wheel with responsibilities and relationships emanating outwards in constant motion. That said, it required so much trust and courage to step out of the circle of motion and to take the time to unknot myself. Oddly, I find it is the very lack of pace that leaves me uncomfortable.

What do I do with my time? Now that I have removed all excuses and counterfeits, what is best done with my sabbathed energies and emotions?

I listen.

Yesterday the word was affection.  We talked about hearts. But not sea shell hearts, although I have found many. He showed me hearts in the sand, hearts outside crab holes, hearts in sea foam, in the clouds, in tree leaves.

The message?

His love is everywhere. Will I simply see it and receive it?

His love is everywhere. Is there anything more present or powerful? 

His love is everywhere. Am I walking in the boldness of a well loved woman?

As I look back on my God journey, I realize my soul was awakened by the ocean. From a child who giggled at first sight, to a twenty-something who stood by the sea and cursed my life for its bitterness and loneliness, to a young married consumed with “what would be one day”, to a wonder-filled diver who explored the glorious underwaters, to a forty-something who realized that I was not alone as I picked through the trinkets of the sea — God had been there, was there, would be there. He is here. Now.

My conversations have changed over the years and the beach trips. This time together, we dream and enjoy and ponder. The conversations are as diverse as the tides that roll in differently every day. One day it is fierce and windy, leaving me breathless and slightly off center;  another day is warm with gentle waves urging me closer.

Every day there are different lessons and perspectives. But always, always is the “voice of many waters”. Always is the rushing energy, the pounding roar, the blue visual feast that stretches out beyond my comprehension. Every day is the welling up in my spirit, in my deepest heart that often goes overlooked or undernourished when I am in the “hub mode.” God is for sure the center of my life, but life itself is draining as “the wheels on the bus go round and round.”

So to pull away, to hear him, to laugh and muse, to tease and argue, to deeply intercede for others in a focused way…it replenishes me in the same way the dry sand hungrily soaks up every drop as the waves wash ashore.

What do I do with so much time with the God of the ocean?
Soak Him in.

Find your place, your beach, your sabbath. Find your spirit again.

“Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.” Mark 6:31

When is enough, enough?

/ Jana / 1 Comment

Time to get serious. The WGR class topic of “Appetites, Addictions, and Affections”  is really challenging me about why do we want what we want? And why are we rarely satisfied with what we want?

You can watch the classes online for these revelations about desire gone awry and its rescue. But for a sobering affect, I am sharing this photo from one of my summer cleansings.

66. Actually 66 pairs of shoes. There’s a good excuse or story about each pair. Sure some of them are old. Sure some of them are “special occasion” only. Some were from Goodwill, some were gifts. But stilll…66 pairs of shoes? Really?

I made myself pull them all out on the floor and look at them. It was gross. It was excessive. It was gluttony of a different kind. I had a flashback to high school when I had only four pairs of shoes. I had a flashback to my Zimbabwe trip in 2010 when the children and adults had No pairs.

So, when is enough, enough? shoes

I want to share part of my personal mandate.   It was a holy moment when Jesus whispered a secret in my ear of where we were going together. (Only in part you understand, He rarely gives us full detail.) And after a moment of incredulous joy I took a deep breath and said, “Wow, how are we going to that?”

“You must reorder your life,” He said.

That was in December 2011. And in the last 13 months He has continued to refocus my energies and attentions. He has brought books about simplifying, fasting, and letting go. He’s revealed moments of just how deep the affection for “more” really is in my heart. One moment was while we were on vacation. The beach condo we stayed at had a wickedly beautiful  walk-in closet. Chuck and I walked in and giggled, “Yeah baby, how about this?”  “This is what I need,” I said. “I hate how small our closets are at home.” I have an ongoing battle with my clothes being hung and put away, therefore clothes are often in piles on the floor.

Fast forward a couple of weeks through times with the Lord and some very pointed books about excess. I stood in front of my small but sufficient walk-in closet and I said out loud to the Lord, “How about I get rid of enough clothes to fit in my closet instead wanting a bigger closet for more clothes?” I felt Him nod in happy agreement.  Hence the reason my floor was covered in shoes.

Does it sound noble that I whittled my collection down to 33 pairs? Can I actually stomach the thought of that many pairs of shoes even though some of them are only worn once or twice a year? This is just one area of balancing that I am going after.

Here is what I am doing. You are welcome to join me. I am flushing my excess throughout my whole life. We swept  our bedrooms, including the girls’ rooms. If I don’t curb my “more” appetites, how will they learn they don’t “need” every toy, shirt, shoe, and stuff, stuff, stuff. They are so much happier now that there is room for “them” in their room, instead of their stuff. Then there are the books, our junk piles, my food choices. (Perhaps, just perhaps, Starbucks and Diet Coke is not a constitutional right.)

I asked a ministry that serves the homeless if they would take our clothes.  “Gladly, the homeless wear coats all year long,” she said. I put two coats in the box and was thankful and humbled that I had so many to choose from.

Here is the bottom line. God is asking me, and maybe you, to slough off those “things” that require our time. What do I spend time doing? Is it really necessary? If I didn’t have that, would I live? Would I have more time? more space to think? more energy to be with Him?

Not a hermit mindset, but a free one. More is really attainable. But it probably starts with less.

 

You can watch the  WGR class topic of “Appetites, Addictions, and Affections.”  online for more revelations about true freedom.

Twists and Turns and the Peace of God

/ Jana / Leave a comment

My brain got twisted around on Saturday.  So on Sunday, in worship, I just sat there. No singing. No standing even. Just sitting.

And as I felt the Spirit of God pulling on my heart I began to cry because I realized I wasn’t even sitting and looking for his presence. I was content to just sit in my pity party. But God.

I heard the faintest whisper, “Grab your Bible.”  I did and it fell open to Philippians. Oh great, I thought, the whatever is good, noble, blah, blah, blah passage. “Like I haven’t read that a hundred times,” I said aloud through my tears.  The whisper came, “Read it again.”

The whole passage is below. It is medicine for the weary soul. But let me just give you highlights of what I saw as I read  it “again.”

You whom I love and long for, my joy and crown, that is how you should stand firm.   (He still loves me when I’m acting like a brat.)

Let your gentleness by evident to all. (Ouch, I have not been gentle at all.)

The Lord is near. (I know you are Jesus, help me re-focus)

And the peace of God will guard your hearts and minds, in Christ Jesus. ( I have let down my guard so I have no peace.)

Put it in to practice. (Yes, I can try again. I must keep practicing.)

And the God of peace with be with you. (Thank you for never leaving me hopeless.)

I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. (I am still learning this. I got swept up in the drama.)

I have learned the secret… (Secret? What secret?)

I can do everything through him who gives me strength. (Yes God. With you all things are possible. Forgive my unbelief.)

I am amply supplied. ( Why do I still question this?)

The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit. (Your grace covers all my weakness. Thank for strengthening my spirit.)

Can I get a Wow and and Amen?

That play on the words  — the peace of God, and the God of peace — was like an IV drip for my spirit. The peace of God will guard me, because the God who is peace is with me. In His presence there is peace and it is the shield and medicine I need.

And everywhere, all the time, the Lord is insisting on P-R-O-C-E-S-S. I must learn to enjoy the journey with Him. There is a secret. I can learn it if I will practice it. There is a truth greater than my need. I can do everything in Him because through Him I am fully resourced.

How then shall I live? By the grace of Jesus in my spirit. Selah.

Oh Spirit of God, how excellent you are in all your ways. To our God and Father be glory for ever and ever. Amen.

 

Therefore, my brothers and sisters, you whom I love and long for, my joy and crown, stand firm in the Lord in this way, dear friends!

2 I plead with Euodia and I plead with Syntyche to be of the same mind in the Lord. 3 Yes, and I ask you, my true companion, help these women since they have contended at my side in the cause of the gospel, along with Clement and the rest of my co-workers, whose names are in the book of life.

4 Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5 Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. 9 Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

10 I rejoiced greatly in the Lord that at last you renewed your concern for me. Indeed, you were concerned, but you had no opportunity to show it. 11 I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. 12 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13 I can do all this through him who gives me strength.

14 Yet it was good of you to share in my troubles. 15 Moreover, as you Philippians know, in the early days of your acquaintance with the gospel, when I set out from Macedonia, not one church shared with me in the matter of giving and receiving, except you only; 16 for even when I was in Thessalonica, you sent me aid more than once when I was in need. 17 Not that I desire your gifts; what I desire is that more be credited to your account. 18 I have received full payment and have more than enough. I am amply supplied, now that I have received from Epaphroditus the gifts you sent. They are a fragrant offering, an acceptable sacrifice, pleasing to God. 19 And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.

20 To our God and Father be glory for ever and ever. Amen.

21 Greet all God’s people in Christ Jesus. The brothers and sisters who are with me send greetings. 22 All God’s people here send you greetings, especially those who belong to Caesar’s household.

23 The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit. Amen.[a]

Philippians 4, NIV

 

Room for Wonder

/ Jana / 1 Comment

We make all kinds of allowances for fear, worry and stress.  We take meds. We have talk shows. We have lots of diagnoses. But I am not sure we are actually getting any where.

My friend Heather said, “this way of life is scandalously simple.” Let me explain the math.

Jesus is the Son of God. He can do anything. (Check your own qualifiers and excuses that just surfaced.) He loves us completely, in fact He adores us.  Lavish is the word that comes to mind.  All through scripture we see Him saying radical things like:

  • Ask and believe.
  • With God all things are possible.
  • If you believe, you will see the glory of God.

Yet we don’t ask. We don’t be believe. And we don’t see His glory.

What are we waiting for??  The Lord told me the other day that I was too comfortable. I wasn’t attempting anything that needed a miracle.  A God life should be so big that it takes God to pull it off.  How big is your life, your ask, your need?  How big is your God? How great is your faith?  Mary turned to Jesus for help when they had run out of wine.  Not a life or death situation. Not healing. It was a party.  And after she asked she immediately turned to the servants and said, “do whatever he tells you do.”

Belief. Waiting. Expecting.

There should always be “room for wonder” in our lives. We have to let go of the control and confines and leave space for God to show up and show off. But instead of waiting in wonder, we often quit, lament, or take it back in our own hands.

Let’s be done, shall we?  Let’s whisper our prayers in faith, fully knowing that He listening and ready to pour out. Let’s pray for others knowing that God is ready to be God to them. Let’s do whatever he tells us. And then let’s sit back after the miracle with hearts full of wonder and give God all the glory for being God. He is so worthy of all our praise.

 

Men behaving…like Jesus…

/ Jana / Leave a comment

Hello friends,
I am trying to help Chuck get in contact with your men, husband, friend, or boyfriend. He and two other men are starting a new group this Tuesday night that will repeat every other Tuesday night. Please read his letter below. It is not like every other men’s group. It is focused on real hope and  freedom.  And all God’s women said, Amen!
______________________________

I am starting a new group with Ray Heath and Allen Suffridge.

It’s not a lot of notice – but we’ll start meeting  this Tuesday night, 7 pm at Greenbrier Apartments club house.
After that we’ll meet every other week.
If this looks like a fit to you, reply and I’ll add you to our contact list.
Greenbrier Apartment Club House, 3920 Lonas Rd, Knoxville, TN 37909

High level, here’s what we care about:

Most guys we know are wrestling with the deep love of the Father toward them.
They might not see how good the good news really is, and that ends up expressing itself in various forms of coping,
especially sexuality getting twisted around, and anger that spews over the people we say we love the most.
We believe there’s hope for real change, and that we can live different lives.

You’ve heard this before.  You might be a little pissed off about it, even.
It all sounds so good, but where is the real change?
Maybe you look at your  New Testament and think: guess what, I’m not experiencing this abundant life I read there.
Is it even possible?

We think it is.  To various degrees, the three of us have walked through a lot of mess and seen Jesus move in amazing ways in our lives.
Come check it out, and if you hate it, no harm – no foul.  You don’t have to come back.

But our hope is to foster an environment where guys can get real about what’s really happening in their lives, and know they’ve got guys they can trust around them that can keep pointing them back to the love of the Father toward them, the desire of Jesus to share this walk with them, and the power, grace and truth that Holy Spirit has to make all this possible in their real life here in Knoxville.

We’re not out to fix anyone, only God can do that, so don’t expect that this is a group where you have to become the poster child for vulnerability and then everyone’s going to gang up on you and preach at you.  No, we’ll keep it pretty simple.  Talk about what you need to talk about.  Listen to other guys (you might learn something from their stories and their current struggles).  And – please don’t come with the mind that you need to fix someone else, and please don’t think this will be a place where you can trash your wife or your girl friend, because we think she just might be your greatest ally in the pathway out.

Feel free to forward this to a buddy of yours if you want.  We’re open to anyone coming, as long as they get that we are going to be talking pretty plainly about these three things (love of God, sexual purity, release from anger).

thanks

Chuck Spicka
(865) 235-1558
cspicka@gmail.com

Weekly WGR Class? Oh yeah…

/ Jana / Leave a comment

Sisters,
FINALLY, after much conversation with the Lord I am going to teach every Thursday instead of every other week.

I know that not everyone can, or desires to, come every week to WGR, which is fine. But some people do desire that and I know for myself that having the steady continuity of a weekly “meal” helps me spiritually. So I am making this available to you.

Also, when we only meet every two weeks, it seems hard for people to connect. And we all need a little more community and connection, even if we don’t think we do.  Smile.

Now let me tell you what’s coming. I can’t tell you how excited I am to see, feel,  hear,  taste what He has for us. Very distinctly He told me at the beach that people don’t trust Him because they don’t experience Him. And they don’t experience Him because they don’t expect Him to show up in their five natural senses. How can you expect Supernatural if you don’t expect natural? So we are going to do all kinds of study, experiments,  worship, stories and reflections to hone our senses, and whet our appetites to “taste and see that the Lord is good.”

The classes will be independent of each other so feel free to miss if you have to,  or you can watch online. You won’t be behind.  If you come (or watch) regularly you will likely get more connecting dots. The choice is yours.

Other big news is Chuck is starting a class with a couple of other men to go deeper into healing and intimacy. So tell your guys about this.  First class is August 28th, and continue every other Tuesday.

 

See you girls on the 23rd at Cedar Springs Church. And  a big shout out to Suzanne Stelling for inviting us in! There is FREEEEEE childcare but you MUST register. Even if you only use it occasionally.

Blessings on you.
Jana

When God Speaks…

/ Jana / Leave a comment

Instead of asking does God speak, what if we asked, what do we do when God speaks.  I am convinced more and more of His desire to be known, explored —enjoyed. And I am also increasingly convinced of the “two-way street” reality of our relationship. It is not just me going to Him. Or Him pouring out on me. But instead it is a beautiful exchange, a passing of ideas and thoughts, a stirring in both hearts, mine and His.

In the same way that I am hopeful, even fervent, for His response, He is eager and awaiting mine. The word is giddy. Think excited kid before she opens up a present. Think a bride and groom before the pastor announces “the kiss.” Think grinning. Clapping hands. Raised eyebrows.  A giddy comment of  “Soooo, whatcha gonna do?” from Jesus.

This catches me off guard.  I love getting touches, kisses, insights, direction from the Lord.  But in recent months, these affections have  changed from a delightful act  to an incredible invitation.  My reactions have moved from “You are too sweet. Thanks, Lord,” to a head shaking, heart pounding, “You are joking, right Lord?”

Jesus is always inviting us into More. Holy Spirit is always revealing the Way into more. The question remains, how will we respond?

Just for fun, here is the crazy conversation He revealed on the way to the beach and home, via billboards.  If this isn’t crazy enough, look at the invitation to more that requires an answer.  And who, in their right mind, can refuse this Crazy Loving God??

Rest is required
Make outside the place to be
Fall in love all over again
Economic forecasts tend to be shovel ready
Change the way you advertise
Become a fan
Quality without question
Let me be your guide.
Why settle?
Unlock your future.
Whatever it takes. Wherever it takes us.
Uncommonly made. Uncommonly good.
Take home more. Be home more.
Going strong.
Ignite greatness.

 

Relationships Need a Real God

/ Jana / Leave a comment

It is always a challenge at first to follow God into a new teaching topic. It is not the study or the actual delivery of the spiritual download I tremble over.

It is the living it out first in private before He lets me share it in the public.

Therefore you can imagine my hesitation to teach on healthy relationships. No, more than just healthy, He is going after loving relationships with others, even the “others” that I can’t stand, can’t forgive, can’t believe will be different.

I can talk about a loving healthy relationship with that Lover Boy Jesus all day long. But when you get into other peeps or my family, ouch, this cuts a little too close to home. And yet. Isn’t this precisely the way of God? To so overwhelm us with His love and affection that we spill out and over on others? Proverbs says “the tongue of the wise brings healing.” And we need to hear Jesus speak healing into every relationship we have.

So this new seminar  on June 9, is very simply a time plant a few seeds of Jesus in our lives. Most of us have been through some sort of counseling, even Bible studies. Yet most of us would say our relationships don’t change much. I find that to be so counter to the way of God.

When people in the Bible had an encounter with Jesus, their lives were changed. Some instantly, some over time, but all were changed because He put something in them that produced His life.  Real Life. That is what we are going after.

Plan to come with a desire to pull weeds in your heart, and to let God plant His healing and wisdom instead.

Real Life. Real Relationship.
June 9, 9:30-Noon
Fuse Church, Midpark Drive
Open to All: women, men, couples, singles
Love Offering Event
Pre registered Childcare Only.

 

Yes or No, both are Good

/ Jana / Leave a comment

Sometimes it is good to state the obvious.

My kids still act shocked by it, but on occasion, I tell them “No.”  I usually have  a good reason, or insight, or hunch that they may, or may not see– or agree with. But the answer remains a no. And, I still love them. I have begun saying to them, “My No is as loving as my Yes.” I want to plant in them that I am not mad when I say no. I am not delighting to torment them, or purposely spoiling their idea of fun.

As a parent, I have to look at the big picture, the overall story of what they want  and what I want, who else is involved, the long term effects, even the unforeseen consequences or rewards. Out of love, I tell them–yes. Out of love, I tell them– no. But both are love. My kids Love my yes answers. I get all kinds of gleeful responses. My no answers are not greeted with such enthusiasm.

I ask my kids to trust me even if they disagree. I ask them to trust that I am moving out of heart of love for them. Obvious, right?

Now if I do that so imperfectly, how much more trustworthy is Our Father? When the Spirit tells us ‘no, you can’t have that, do that, go there, say that,’ how much love is He showing us? He cares so much for us that He walks with us, in us. He says because of His goodness and abundance we can run full out.

God says with a smiling whisper, “Go!”  When we fall, no worries, He is there. Just get back up and keep running.

But then He says—no, stop, wait. He wants us to respond with as much love and affection as we do when He says run full out.  Picture His face when He says no.  Is He scowling, condemning, smirking, or ridiculing? God forbid.

He is still smiling, with a secret twinkle in His eyes, and whispers, “No. But trust Me. I can only give you good.”

God does say “no.” And He still loves you. It’s obvious. But we need to translate it rightly. His no is as loving as His yes.