wisdom

The Power of Do-Overs

/ Jana / Leave a comment

This lovely picture is from last week. Everything started out beautifully. Chuck walked out of his office and said, “Oh my goodness it smells wonderful in here.”  I laughed and told him it was the magic of garlic, onions, and olive oil. Great ingredients to begin with then I added Italian sausage, ground beef, red wine, and balsamic vinegar. (Ten points if you can figure out what I was making.) Then I went outside and got distracted…

The next time Chuck came out of his office, he was banging on the door with his foot,  trying to get my attention. The pot, now in his hands, was pouring out smoke.  I rushed into the house and was instantly enveloped by a grey cloud that reeked of charred meat. Not the eating kind of charred, but the death kind.

We had company arriving in three hours. Dinner is dead and our house makes you want to vomit.

Good times.

Have you ever scorched a conversation? Or burnt a relationship to a crisp? So much so that your heart hurts for days after?  Yeah.  Me too.  In fact. While supper was burning on the stove, I was distracted by a conversation that had an eerie resemblance. Burnt to a crisp. And reeked for days.  So now what?

It is the holy work of Do-Overs. When you know how it could go if you had a chance to start again. To do it better this time.  This is how the mess in my house tutored me in the mess of my conversation.

First, the initial assessment:

No fires. Check.

Windows open and fans on. Check.

Chuck is not burned. Check.

Candles lit. Check.

Second, begin acute cleanup.

Whew. The whole area surrounding the stove was a nightmare. Deep cleaning was required. But immediately I got the stovetop and floor cleaned, so I could cook again right away.

Third, still need to feed the company.

The Lord was so kind. He reminded me that I bought two packs of Italian sausage for two different recipes. Ahh.

Thank you, Lord. I had all I needed for a Do-over.

Fourth, I started again.

I got a clean pan and threw in the garlic, onions, and olive oil. This time, I only left the pot once all the ingredients were simmering happily.  To be clear, I was making this new fragrant dish while choking back the still-present smoke smell. As I peeled and sliced and stirred, I replayed the fiasco. What had I done wrong? Why had it burned like that?

Not enough liquids. I had sauteed the onions and browned the meat but forgot to add the crushed tomatoes. (Yes, it’s spaghetti sauce.) I had wanted to let the meat cook a bit more but ruined it all instead.

I am telling you this because while I was burning my supper, I was engrossed in a difficult meeting via Zoom on my back porch. Turns out, I scorched the meeting the same way.

So again, what had I done wrong? And what to do now?

One. I had to open the windows and give everybody a minute, including myself to get some fresh air. We were all choking.

Two. I had to clean up the mess. Emotionally, spiritually, relationally.

Three. I had to begin again. And learn from my mistakes. Turned out that my meeting had all the ingredients there,  just like my sauce. We just needed to add a little extra liquid— insight, courage, wisdom, and even Living Water. Smile. And I needed to stir and simmer it longer.

Holy Do-Overs.

Can I tell you this is a code word in my family? Chuck and me, and the kids, would often come back after some charred moment and ask: Can I have a Do-Over? I can do that better than I did right there.

Do you know that we still had a lovely spaghetti dinner that night? Even that was healing for me. It reminded me I am a good cook.  Just like I am a good friend and leader.  I just have to keep my focus and clean up my messes.

Honestly, the hardest thing for me was enduring the stench. For days when I walked in my house or leaned too close to the exhaust fan, (oh the irony) I could smell traces of it all over again. The stench reminded me of the stinging in my heart and the hurt to others.  But we keep learning. We keep cleaning. We keep trying to be our best selves.

Lord, we thank you for Holy Do-Overs. Thank you for mercy. Thank you for healing. Thank you for good meals after bad ones. And good relational laughs after tears. Amen.

Wisdom Finds a Way

/ Jana / Leave a comment
The other day I was driving alone in the car, which very rarely happens these days. I noticed the silence and appreciated it for a moment, until I realized the thoughts that were swirling around in my mind. I was somewhat commiserating with myself about a situation that the Lord and I have been carrying for a while now. I heard a lot of hopeless words floating around so I turned on worship music to battle against them. As I was worshiping I started talking to Jesus. I quickly realized I was holding something close that I was reluctant to reveal to Him. I found myself saying things like, “Here I am again. Talking about this same old thing. I don’t even know what to ask for anymore. I just need some relief. That’s what I need. Relief.” It was as if He said, “Yes, yes you do. And is that really what we’re talking about? Because I see something more…” I knew immediately what He was seeing and replied, “But I love You so much. I don’t want to say that. I don’t want to think it, much less tell you I’m thinking it.” To which He replied, “Yes. But I already know. I can hold it. It’s ok. You don’t have to hold it anymore if you’ll just tell me about it.”
And so I did. I just said it.
I said,  “I know You can do anything. You can grow a 3rd arm on me right now if You wanted to. You make seas part and heal people and bring people back from the dead. And yet I’ve begged You for some relief from this draining relationship and yet here I am. Again. Still carrying it. I love You so much and I don’t want to accuse You of not being good. I know You’re good… And You aren’t acting on my behalf. You see it. You see it all. And yet You don’t move. And I want to be mad at You but I love You so much. So what do I do now with all this?”
As soon as the words left my mouth, I looked over to my left and noticed a billboard that said, “Wisdom Finds A Way” and the peace of Jesus filled my car. Matthew 11:28-30 says, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” In that moment, Jesus took my yoke and my burdens and gave me His easy yoke and light burdens instead. I felt no shame or condemnation for my thoughts, only peace and can I dare say relief? Sweet relief.
Maybe that’s you today? Maybe you’re carrying far too much. Whether that’s pain, anger, bitterness, strife, jealousy, shame, sadness or guilt. Whatever your thing may be, can I encourage you today to just say it to Him? Tell Him about it, that which you so desperately want to hide or ignore. He will hear you and will find a way to bring you what you need. He always finds a way.
Contributed by Crystal Freeman

Shake it Like a Polaroid Picture

/ Jana / Leave a comment

Do you ever have those times in life that you feel like conflict surrounds you? I mean, conflict at work, at home, in friendships, with relatives. Just conflict all around. I’ve been sitting in the middle of what felt like consistent and continual conflict and it is not a fun place to be for this enneagram 9.

Much like Matthew 5:23-24, I continually felt like I was walking to the altar in my heart with a gift and was reminded that my relative/co-worker/child/employee at Target had something against me so I had to go make it right with that person before I could talk with Jesus. So, really, I felt a deep need to people-please so God would be alright with me. A deep need to stuff my feelings and make sure everyone else was happy so I could talk to my Best Friend. That doesn’t really grasp the heart of the original text of relationship over religious ritual, does it?

I took it to the Lord and said, “I feel like I can’t even talk to you because so many people have so much against me. What do You have to say about that?” and so kindly He said, “I’m the one you sin against, not them. If you know that I forgive you, having them forgive you is a bonus.” And the pressure came off a little bit. The more I dug into His Words, the more I saw the full picture of His love for me. He cleanses me from all righteousness, not them. He makes me a new creation, without their permission. He tells me I can approach His Throne of grace with confidence. He desires a relationship with me, over religious rituals and He desires His Kids to be in peaceful, loving, healthy relationships.

In the middle of a conflict the other day, He reminded me about my grandmother’s old polaroid camera. My sister and I loved that thing growing up. We would take pictures of literally everything and would fan that polaroid back and forth to try to hurry up the developing process. Jesus said, “This conflict, this image you see could be perceived a certain way but it isn’t fully developed. Just give it more time. Don’t zero in on one aspect. Step back and ask Me for the full picture.”

Wisdom is seeing things from His perspective and I’ve found that asking for wisdom in conflict is my purest form of love for another.

So, maybe you find yourself in some conflict. Maybe you have picked up an offense, been hurt or feel misunderstood. May I encourage you today to take His Hand and lean into His heart for you. Whether you have wronged or been wronged, ask for forgiveness from Him for the offense and wait for the full picture to develop. It’s always more beautiful and more intentionally detailed than we could ever imagine.

Wisdom from the Upside Down Kingdom

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Many of us are in places where we don’t know what to do. We may know what we WANT, but we sorely lack the essential HOW to achieve it. The Lord is literally tutoring me in lessons on wisdom. And may I just add, summer school sucks. Smile.

 

In an age of excess information and inflated reactions, how are we to discern what is truly wise? Some camps shout: You must use logic. Facts only. No emotions. The rival camp shouts: All decisions are based on emotions whether you admit it or not. The battle ensues. 

For example, consider this remark from a guy I just met. He was trying to decide if a particular house purchase was a good fit. When I asked him how he would choose, he boasted, “I take all the emotion out of it and just look at the facts.” I laughed in his face.

“Good luck with that,” I said. “The Lord has emotions, gave you emotions for a reason too, and you are totally deciding if this house gives you all the feels in all the right places.” Whatever.  

However, this conversation reminded me of a phrase God gave earlier in the week. 
Wisdom: the balance of logic and emotion.

The key word here is balance. We don’t lean too far on data points because we cannot predict the future from past numbers. And to be frank, the need to control and predict the future is fear-based and borders on sorcery.  We don’t lean too far on emotion because we may be over-tired, over-hungry, over-angry, or over-excited. Just over… which kills the balance needed for wisdom to grow.

Logic and Emotion. Balance. Check. Wisdom. Check.

Before we proceed, let me throw in a monkey wrench. Every new level of faith and adventure with God requires me to learn more about Him. His way of doing things, how it works in heaven, how I will have to take on or let go of earthly thinking.

This past March brought one of those upgrades. The Lord told me, “You are trying to figure this out in your world system. But I live in an Upside Down Kingdom.”

O-kaaaaay. That helped a lot. Thank you, Lord. But seriously. What does that even mean?

First came the revelation. Then came the wisdom from God to absorb the revelation. We had been talking about Jesus feeding the 5000, when He asked a question. 

How do you think the boy felt when he gave up his lunch (five loaves and 2 fish)?

Never crossed my mind.

The Lord persisted. 

That boy had his lunch. Why would he give up his lunch, so little, in the face of so much need? 

Squirming, I can tell you I went for the easy answers first.  Because he wanted to share. Because he loved his neighbor. Because the boy was moved by the great need. Because he was asked to help. Because, because, because…

The Lord would not let it go. 

But now he was hungry. And he didn’t have to be. Why did he give up his lunch, when he had all he needed?

The Good Teacher finally helped me, the slow student, grasp the answer. Because Jesus was on the scene. That lunch could do more in Jesus’s hands than in that boy’s belly.  Somehow, Jesus would fill everyone’s needs.

Enter heavenly wisdom.  Upside down Kingdom.

I had to align my life with how God does life in His Kingdom. His life is SO different from mine that it appears, looks, and feels upside down. Radical faith often requires radical sacrifice which produces a radical move of God.

Here is another tough lesson. Abraham gets a bad rap sometimes in our PC world of child-rearing. I mean, putting your kid on an altar today would land you in jail. But the real story, the bigger Kingdom story is not between father and son, but Father and son.

God instructed Abraham to think upside down. Go beyond the logic. Past the very real emotion. The Father who loved His only Son, invited Abraham to experience what He feels and to understand what it takes to make that kind of sacrifice. This was a severe test of Abraham’s heart and what it takes to walk in God’s wisdom. He passed the test. But don’t miss God’s profound response to Abraham’s willing heart.

“Do not lay a hand on the boy,” he said. “Do not do anything to him. Now I know that you fear God, because you have not withheld from me your son, your only son.”

Abraham looked up and there in a thicket, he saw a ram caught by its horns. He went over and took the ram and sacrificed it as a burnt offering instead of his son. So Abraham called that place The Lord Will Provide. And to this day it is said, “On the mountain of the Lord it will be provided.”

The angel of the Lord called to Abraham from heaven a second time and said, “I swear by myself, declares the Lord, that because you have done this and have not withheld your son, your only son,  I will surely bless you and make your descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky and as the sand on the seashore. Your descendants will take possession of the cities of their enemies, and through your offspring[b] all nations on earth will be blessed,[c] because you have obeyed me.” Genesis 22:12-18 (emphasis added)

As I said, upside down Kingdom. In this Kingdom, withholding nothing, extreme dependence, and revering God have supreme value. Also in this Kingdom, it is highly rewarded. More than we can ask or imagine and for generations to come.

God is constantly inviting us to not only know about His Kingdom but to do life the way He does it. Withholding nothing. Extreme dependence. In awe of God’s generous response.

This leads me to this lovely verse tucked in 1 Corinthians that makes me chuckle. For what the world says is wisdom is actually foolishness in God’s eyes. As it is written: The cleverness of the know-it-alls becomes the trap that ensnares them. 1 Corinthians 3:19 TPT

Can I tell you how many times I have said to God, “You want me to do what?  Are you sure? This is crazy!” Yep, foolishness to the world.

There are worthy questions to ask Holy Spirit. Do you think this is wise? Will it multiply and bear fruit? Am I withholding nothing and displaying extreme dependence on You to do what only You can do?

I may be singing to the moon right now. But I tell you, we are living in an age of humanity right now, where God’s wisdom is desperately needed and rarely sought after. We are drowning in a cultural mindset that does what is “right in our own eyes,” what makes us feel good, or safe, or seen. And it’s foolishness to God.

Our solution? Just ask.

And if anyone longs to be wise, ask God for wisdom and he will give it! He won’t see your lack of wisdom as an opportunity to scold you over your failures but he will overwhelm your failures with his generous grace. James 1:5 TPT