General

An Invitation to Trust

/ Jana / Leave a comment

My friend Toni unknowingly blew my head off one day when she was talking about obedience. She said, “We have a wrong thought about obedience. It is not a hard, mean thing.  It is kind of like when you were a kid and your dad or mom says, ‘Hey I am going to the store, you wanna come?’ ” 

It’s an invitation. An invitation to trust the One who is asking you to come along.

I have brewed on this conversation with my insightful friend for a long time now. Every time I hear Chuck invite one of the girls to go on an errand, the Lord takes my understanding a little deeper. Why does Chuck ask? He wants to have some one-on-one time. He wants to talk to them about something specific. He has a surprise for them. He just enjoys their company.

Rarely do the girls fire off these questions:
Where are we going?
How will we get there?
How long will we be gone?
How much will it cost?
How will I pay for this?
How am I supposed to do this alone?

You see, all they know and rest in is that their dad, imperfect but loving dad, has asked them to go somewhere. The details don’t really matter because it is about the two of them going on an adventure.

If you told them, “you have to go”, the reactions would be different wouldn’t they? That Self kicks up in a moment. And this is the beauty, and the scandal, of our free will choosing of God. Our perfect Loving Father has asked us to trust His leading, trust His way. Trust Him. Even when we don’t understand the details and we can’t foresee the outcome. Jesus said, “Follow me.” He did not say, “You have to follow me.” He invited them into an adventure. And even though His followers surely did not know the future, they saw in His eyes something they could not refuse.

Where are you chafing?  What are you fighting for or against?  Who are you fighting? And what if you just looked instead into the eyes of God?  What if you listened again to what He said, ‘Follow me’, and without throwing out a thousand rebuttals, you just trusted the Heart that was asking you to come on an adventure?

 9 Do not be like the horse or the mule,
       which have no understanding
       but must be controlled by bit and bridle
       or they will not come to you.
Psalm 32:9

Weed, Seed and Feed … and Plow

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The term, “weed, seed and feed” originally came from a selling cycle. You weed unproductive accounts out, you prospect and propose for new business (seed), and you feed and nurture existing accounts for continued good business.

I like this notion. It is short, concise and helps keep a focus on needed actions. (It really pays in more way than one to have a husband in sales.) Over the years I have seen this principle apply to our spiritual lives.

Weed:
We weed out the activities, beliefs and habits that damage our good spiritual crop. We all need an honest conversation with the Lord about what He sees that hurts or distracts from our harvest. Not once, but continually. Then we need to do what any good farmer would do, pull the weeds.

Seed:
We go to God to receive more love, insight, and “seed,” then we scatter that as He leads. He loves to see new growth in our lives. He rejoices in those tiny green shoots taking root and thriving. But He has not given to us for our enjoyment alone. He has blessed us that we might bless others. At the proper time, He loves for us to work along side Him, casting out seed.

Feed:
We feed and nurture the relationship with Him and with others so that we will surely reap what we have sown. Call it fertilizer. We care for our God field so that we yield a God crop.  Doesn’t this sound so happy? Churchy? And completely unrealistic??? 

It is because of this reaction that I have modified this cycle by adding one crucial step. Plow.

We do well to examine our hearts, fields and harvest. Why? Jesus said, I am the Way, the Truth and the Life. Through Him, we are life bearers, seed-bearers. Part of our inheritance as a child of God is that we share in His harvest. Harvest of souls. Harvest of righteousness, wisdom, health and favor.

I talk to many people who do none of these things and then complain that God is not real to them. No weeding (“I can do whatever I want”) no seeding (“I don’t feel like it”) and no feeding (“God doesn’t talk to me, so what is the point?”) His life in you is the only point. Not salvation. Not just buying the field and then letting it lay there dormant and undeveloped. But a field that God has great delight in, great plans to bring forth a harvest.

These dear ones need to ask for one simple thing: that God would plow up their hardened hearts. We need to ask God for a ground that has been softened by the rain of our tears, that has had a rototiller of truth dig deep and turn up the weedy top soil, that has let the warmth of His presence temper and prepare the ground for good seed. So how is your dirt?

 “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” Galations 6:9

A Patient Expectation

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Play along. Imagine you drive up to a restaurant. Even before you walk in the door, you are hungry. The door swings open and you are washed with a flood of aromas — breads, spices, warm and inviting. Your stomach agrees with your selection and urges you on.

Now you are seated at the table, and the server hands you a menu.  Your eyes take in all the possibilities. Choices, options, suggestions, pairings and combinations of flavors, textures and details.

Another rumble and you find you want to hasten the process. You just desperately want to actually be eating and not reading. You want the food to be in front of you, not on a page. Somewhere in this moment is the notion of sustenance, the notion of what you “need” to eat, what would be good for you.

But the first and primary urge is on what you “want” to eat. You desire the desirable.

So finally, the order is placed, your stomach is tense and waiting, waiting. You are so hungry you almost feel sick and then  you…

 get up and walk out of the restaurant.

 A feast is being prepared for you, and you left the building.

Your stomach is in shock. Your server is stiffed, and your body has been robbed of much needed fuel. You are angry and unsatisfied.

Now suppose you turn around and say, “the restaurant didn’t answer your request.”

When you come to the table of God, come with a patient expectation. Come hungry, and come with a willingness to believe that He is preparing a feast for you. He knows and responds to the desires of your heart and the needs of your heart to keep you well fueled. Come to the table. And wait for the meal to arrive. Don’t get up and leave and say God doesn’t answer you. Wait and expect. Ask and receive. Though it tarry, wait for it.

But as it is written, “No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined the things that God has prepared for those who love him.” 1st Corinthians 2:9

My Soul Sings Out “Halle-lu-jah”

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There is no one like our God.  No one.  Not just when things go like we want them, but when all of life becomes dark, gray or numb. There is no one like Him, Them.  No one who washes us out of Their glorious riches like They do. There is no one loving and leading like They do. No one who can be Father, Brother, Lover like They can. No one who sees our desperate need and reaches out to heal and restore. Not disinterested observers from afar. No, this God is right in the middle of our business. They get in there and wash, and redeem and breathe dead bones back to life.

They delight in being Our God.

Listening right now to the song “Reign in Us” by Starfield. How it makes my soul soar:

Oh great and mighty one
with one desire we come
that You would reign that You would reign in us
we’re offering up our lives
a living sacrifice
that You would reign that You would reign in us

Spirit of the living God fall fresh again
come search our hearts and purify our lives
we need Your perfect love we need Your discipline
we’re lost unless You guide us with Your light

Lord Jesus
come lead us
we’re desperate for Your touch

What are you desperate for?  Life, hope, health, friends, love, money, peace? Come to the One Who promised to meet all your needs out of His glorious abundance. He lacks no good thing.  This whole Zimbabwe trip has forever changed my life and I haven’t even left yet.  The question about God that I had to face is this:  I know You are Good. I know You are Here. I know You are Able. But are You Willing for me?

What  He revealed was that I had a lot of false props in my life.  Lots of places that I leaned on other than Him. And one by one, (and I am quite sure we are not done yet), He is showing me, He doesn’t just say, “I am the Life.”  HE MEANS:  I am the Life. I AM your life.

Every way, every day, every need, every desire. I have so many things to give testimony about to brag on Him.

God has provided all our Zimbabwe funds! You should hear the stories… Only God could have done that.

God has rescued my marriage and we celebrated 19 years on April 13.  Only God could have done that.

God came down in overwhelming extravagance at the retreat. Women were given wings to fly. Only God could have done that.

On and on.  What about you?  What will you give testimony about today?  Don’t miss the power of God that is released when we praise Him in every season, act, and issue.  “And they overcome him by the blood of the Lamb and the word of their testimony.”

Reign in Us

You thought of us before the world began to breathe
You knew our names before we came to be
You saw the very day we fall away from You
and how desperately we need to be redeemed

Lord Jesus
come lead us
we’re desperate for Your touch

Oh great and mighty one
with one desire we come
that You would reign that You would reign in us
we’re offering up our lives
a living sacrifice
that You would reign that You would reign in us

Spirit of the living God fall fresh again
come search our hearts and purify our lives
we need Your perfect love we need Your discipline
we’re lost unless You guide us with Your light

Lord Jesus
come lead us
we’re desperate for Your touch

Oh great and mighty one
with one desire we come
that You would reign that You would reign in us
we’re offering up our lives
a living sacrifice
that You would reign that You would reign in us

we cry out for Your life to revive us cry out
for Your love to define us cry out
for Your mercy to keep us
blameless until You return

oh great and mighty one
with one desire we come
that You would reign that You would reign in us
we’re offering up our lives
a living sacrifice
that You would reign that You would reign in us
[2 x]

You would reign in us

So reign please reign in us
come purify our hearts
we need Your touch
come cleanse us like a flood
and send us out
so the world may know You reign You reign in us
[3 x]

Fresh from the Garden

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Food is a God idea. Just like sex, beauty, companionship, intimacy, work – all these things were part of the Garden of Eden.  God says that male and female were made in His image and that they were to co-rule over creation. A part of that creation’s purpose was/is to provide food. “And God saw all that He had made and it was very good.” (Genesis 1)

So food is a good, God idea. Even after the fall and the flood, God still provided food and expanded the menu to include more than plants and fruit. (Genesis 9)

But.  Even before the new testament, where grace abounds, there are warnings against indulgence. Not for the health’s sake, but for the heart’s sake. When God told us, “Have no other gods before me,” He was trying to give us boundaries to thrive within. He was trying to tell us the secret of healthy hearts and bodies.

“Seek first the kingdom of God, and its righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” In the Garden and today, the idea is for God to be  rightly placed in our lives, and thus everything else falls into its rightful place.

One issue I take with almost all diet related programs is they do the “don’t touch” method. I am thinking of one friend who was so bound up in her weight and food mania that she planned out her very strict diet for the week. She would eat one meal, which did not satisfy her, and then she would immediately begin to obsess about her next snack or meal. Was she dependent on God, was she thankful, was she looking at her heart more than her scales?

The resolution is not more white knuckling. The issue is not eat less of this or that. The first issue is the condition of our hearts. What is God trying to tell us?  When I was addicted to Diet Coke, it was my reward, my relief, my aspirin, my gold star. I used it when I was sad, mad, celebrating, or punishing myself.  I had formed a kind of relationship with an object. And then God said, “I want you to come to Me for all these things.” When He showed me this, I fasted from Diet Coke for 30 days. I was amazed at just how entangled I was in this seemingly innocent indulgence. I had to learn to replace my habit with intimacy with God.

Why would He do that? Why even care?  Because I was not wired to think about, dwell on, look forward to, depend on anything but God.  Can I enjoy a Diet Coke now? Yes, but there is no emotion, no need to it. It is simply a drink. And it is a beautiful warning signal.  When I “need” one, when I notice I have had too many, the Lord uses it to prick my heart: “Take a look Jana, how is your heart?”

So how is your heart?

Delicious Deception

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There is a lot of effort, advice, and energy surrounding our issues.  I am thinking of food in particular. It is a tragic trend to study.

Chuck and I have seen the odd parallel rise among the sexes. As men turned to porn for relief, excitement and comfort, women turned to food for the same. For both there exists a deception of love and acceptance.  We form “relationship” with an object. We turn to a seductive picture of a body and how it promises to momentarily makes us feel. We turn to a seductive picture of a food item and how it promises to momentarily make us feel.

I kid you not in Walmart last year, there was a calendar display that stopped me suddenly. Side by side. Maxim and Desserts. It was such a telling moment. Two different calendars, one simple lie. A year full of fantasy.

What flavor ? Red head or strawberry? Brunette or banana split?

For both sexes, the compass of True North is broken.  Or maybe instead of True North, the compass of Truth is broken.  We turn to something other than Truth to define, comfort, heal us.

Sure, sure we know that. We only have to look at our out of whack minds and bodies to see this doesn’t work. But now what? Is joining another “don’t touch, don’t eat” group going to really heal the hurt and hunger inside?

For today, I want to suggest you begin a conversation with God and ask Him: Where do I go when I hurt?

It is not a quick conversation. But a slow dawning. Like the sun coming up, the sky goes from black to gray to full light. Ask the Lord to bring you revelation. Before you tear down idols, you have to know the Truth. So let’s begin there.

YOU AND I
by Shane Barnard and Shane Everett

Clean I call you clean
I came to clean you and it’s done
Here’s a call to all who’ve
Felt disqualified to run
Pleasures flowing here and there
From my right hand
What’s mine is yours
Come behold all of who I am

You and I will run
You and I will run forever
All is done
You and I will run

Come with what you do not have
And buy what’s undeserved
Feast and drink, the bounty’s great
I know you hear
But have you heard
Have you heard

Clean!
I’ve called you clean!
“I am dirty”
Clean!
“So unworthy”
Clean!
“Dirty”
That’s what I’m wanting

You and I will run
You and I will run forever
All is done
You and I will run

“Every one who thirsts, come to the waters; And you who have no money come, buy and eat. Come, buy wine and milk without money and without cost.”
(Is 55:1)

“He made Him who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf, so that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.”
(2 Corinthians 5:21)

When Words Just Aren’t Enough

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I have been trying to get my words around how the Lord showed up this weekend. We named the retreat “Yes and Amen” 6 weeks ago.  But little did I realize that the title was God foretelling what He was planning to do. We spent the weekend re-discovering the promises of God. That they are Yes and Amen in Christ. But they were not just words on dusty pages. We let those promises fill us with His power and we began to dream again. We dared to sit in His presence and let Him wash away our fears, breathe new life and courage into our hearts.

We began to believe we are more than women. We are His Women created for this time and for a specific God-ordained destiny, with His Holy Spirit power shaping and forming and giving us wings to fly. Because the Holy Spirit dwells in us, “we have been disqualified from mundane and ordinary lives.”  We were made to “shine like stars as we hold out the word of life.”

And shine we did and do and will. Could we have planned any better celebration? One sweet lamb was baptized in the cold mountain water. We all stood there stupified. We had cheered, and prayed, and sung. And we couldn’t leave. We all felt it. The power of God.  You simply did not want to walk away…

Here is a beautiful offering of what happened. To God be the glory…

“Be silent
rejoice
your spirit is cleansed

You are water
free as a rushing river,
no longer dammed, damned
for I am your current

We pour and shift
around boulders
without slowing

A force
in constant motion, stop-less
Obstacles are still, lifeless

can not steal power
when you trust and live
within me

love,
God”
by Michelle Westenberger Carrico

Living in Third Person

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How many names can you think of for the Holy Spirit?

Go ahead. Try.

Here are some I came up with: Comforter, Completer, Helper, Ezer, Warrior, Healer, Creator, Defender, Destroyer, Teacher, Guide, Counselor, Interceder

Can I get a “Wow”?  Jesus told the disciples that He had “much more” to tell them than they could now bear. “But when He, the Spirit of truth, comes, He will guide you into all truth. “ John 16:13

So why then does it feel like we sometimes shrug off of the Holy Spirit?  The Spirit is the presence of God in the world yesterday, today, and forever. He is the heart of God hovering, moving, healing all creation.  The Spirit is the Third Person of our Triune God.

I hear a lot of talk about returning to the zest and zeal of the early church. But you know what they had?  The Holy Spirit. They were hiding in their rooms, praying and trying to figure out what to do next, when the Holy Spirit came upon them. This one fact is as startling as the Resurrection.  Because of the death and resurrection of Christ, the Holy Spirit  moved from just working in the world, (pillar of fire, talking donkey, rescuing out of the lion’s mouth, thwarting armies) to living in us (leading us out of harm’s way, healing, revealing truth, providing resources, and more).

To have the power of the Risen Christ living within us to guide us into all Truth is a miracle in itself.  Do we really tap into the Well of God within?  He is available and willing; God’s love in action in us. This is not heady, stuffy religion. This is real life involvement with a Real Life God. Do you look for, depend on, seek and find the Holy Spirit?

I have marked my calendar, May 23. It is the date of Pentecost 2010.  I know I already have all of God, but what I want to do during this season is pray what Jesus prayed for us, that our eyes might be opened so our joy will be complete.

I want to live in the Third Person.

When Life and Death Collide

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Within a week there have been two infant deaths in my world. One unsaved woman delivered a still born at eight months. Another woman, a strong believer, was carrying triplets, and one baby died. In the process, all three babies were delivered by C-section. The two surviving babies are in critical condition.

And often the first question is, “How could something like this happen?”  More piercing questions sound like, “How could GOD let something like this happen?”

Really gut-wrenching, honest questions sound like, “How can this be good in any way?”

If we are not careful, these are the horrible moments when we throw around spiritual band-aids because we don’t know what to say:

“At least you have another child.”
“At least you didn’t have to fill-in-the-blank…”
“God must be teaching you something…”
“God works all things together…”

If we are not careful, because we are so uncomfortable with pain, agony, and despair, we will make all manner of attempts to fix, tidy, gloss over, and cover the gaping hole in those broken hearts.

And if we are not careful, we will miss the aroma of Christ. I told my friend who is truly broken-hearted over our friend’s loss, “God is good, and He is here.” He is right here. In the middle of this mystery. And misery. He knows exactly how it feels to lose a child.

The Bible says to mourn with those who mourn. And to trust that God is doing the same.  I remember delivering Judah when we found out he had died at 16 weeks. He was so small, he fit in our hand. To some it seemed odd because he was so little. But he was our son, is our son.

Sure we got a gamut of responses — the gossip, the “glad it didn’t happen to me”, the “you can always have another baby”, even the God comments that cut like knives rather than soothe like a balm. But the sweetest gifts I received during that time were friends and family who would simply weep with us. That’s all. It hurt and that was okay.

The help and healing came from those who had nothing to offer but their tears. These precious few didn’t come to my bedside needing me to make them feel better, needing me to explain anything or defend God. They just came to journey with me and pray for me, when I was too weak to pray myself.  My friend Nan says, “When you grieve together the love goes deeper still.”

Oddly enough, yesterday, the same day we heard about the death of the triplet, my sweet friend Amanda gave birth to her baby boy. And so we live. Life and death side by side. And somehow we are comforted because we stake our whole existence on one belief: God is good and He is here.

“Sweetly Broken”

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The Lord met me at the beach last week.  I am still in awe. Standing on the seashore I always get caught up in the seashells.  I just love them.  They are so beautiful and colorful. They are diverse and repeating. And for the most part, they are broken. That is why I only look for the perfect ones.

On the first day of the beach trip, I was so caught up in looking for the pretty shells that I had to stop, drop and roll.  Stop looking. Drop the handful and roll my eyes out on the water.

To which I immediately heard, “I am so glad you came.”

After I fumbled an apology for getting distracted by the lesser thing, the Lord and I started a dialogue about how seashells are really sea debris.  They are only indicators of life that once was. We talked for some time about learning to focus on the deeper life of God, the unseen reality of Him, instead of running from shell to shell on the shore. Instead of seeking the hidden living treasures of the ocean, I was captivated by the trash of the sea, the remnants and reminders of what lies in the depths.

“But, I still like them so much, ” I sighed. To which He replied, “I know, Me too. It is a way for you to see glimpses of My beauty.”

Fast forward to dinner that night with friends, and I was recounting the conversation. Then my friend Dana offered to read a poem that the Lord had given her.  I sat there stunned as she read about the beauty of the broken shells like the beauty of broken lives, because life pours out when both are broken.

So the next day on my walk with God, I kept hearing the song, “Sweetly Broken” (by Jeremy Riddle). I asked the Lord what He was trying to say about that song and the conversation from the night before. And Wow. I saw a broken shell in the shape of a heart. I thought the Lord was just trying to love on me, but He told me to keep looking. So I found another. And another. And many, many more.

“What is this, Lord?”

“You were looking for perfect shells. But you can only find the hearts when they are broken.”

“Like people,” I said. “Like me,” I whispered.

“Yes, sweetly broken,” He said.

I began to weep. On the beach. In front of everyone, but I didn’t care. I thought about my own story. And the story of so many women and men. And you only see our hearts when we are broken. Like our Lord, we saw His heart when it was broken.

And His life has poured out on us, and our lives on others. Sweetly broken, the aroma of Christ. Hallelujah, what a God…