Author: Jana

Pennies from Heaven

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I had this great God encounter the other day.  Charis and I were at the pool and she wanted money for the snack bar. So I handed her a handful of change and she looked at the amount mounded in her hand and declared, “This is plenty.” When I asked her to count it, she didn’t see the point because there were so many coins in her hands. “But some of those are pennies,” I said.

“It’s fine, it’s fine,” she said with a wave of her free hand. (You know your kids were raised in the South when f-i-n-e is a three syllable word. It’s beautiful to hear.)

Anyway, we separated the coins into like piles and I helped her add up the quarters, dimes, nickels and pennies. Once she heard the magic number of $1.25, which is the exact cost of a frozen Swiss Miss Chocolate Bar, she scraped all the change into her hand and was off. Contented and provided for.

Five minutes later, I am talking to Beth who is preparing to go BACK to Zimbabwe for six months this time to serve at the youth camp. We were working on her financial needs, listing out the room fee, phone, airfare, etc. Her magic amount was a bit more than $1.25.

That’s when the God encounter happened.

“Beth, think about it. When Charis came to me asking for money, she was never one time concerned about whether I had enough money. Her only concern was a yes or no answer from me. And once my answer was yes, it was on me to make it happen,” I said.

“Don’t miss this. She didn’t even care about the pennies, nickels, dimes and quarters. To her, it was more about Mom’s got it taken care of. Sure for you, it’s not pennies and quarters but it’s $100s, $200s, $1000s. But to God it is the same. It’s all pocket change to Him. ”

He said yes. It’s on Him to provide the change. And that is what it is. Pocket change from our Dad. A day at the snack bar with His kids.

Ask Big.  You have a Big, Big, Dad.

Safe or Brave?

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In Just Courage, Gary Haugen asked, “Do you want to be safe or brave?” And then ever so subtly, he asked, “What do you think God wants for you? Safety or bravery?”

These are disturbing questions if you examine them. Let me combine some of Haugen’s thoughts with some ideas of my own that have surfaced. Safety is about control. Safety is about doing life “just so” so that we can predict and determine the outcomes of our lives, our jobs, our families. The desire for safety for the Christian is like the boiling pot for the proverbial frog. It will be the spiritual death of us because it calculates and manipulates all the Life out of us.

We resign ourselves to these small endeavors that are easily managed by our own efforts and rarely tap into the need for an Almighty God. We call this spiritual success because we have planned and prepared, avoided and outmaneuvered any real threat to our well being. We are, deep sigh, safe. We pacify our hunger for more by applauding ourselves with being “responsible.”

Yet all through scripture the only place of safety is in God Himself. Do you think Jesus was calling the disciples to safety or bravery? He said simply, “Follow Me.” Was that responsible? Did they hit the safety wall while following Jesus?  You bet. But they also got to experience life beyond the grocery store and ATM. The feeding of the 5,000. The taxes in a fish’s mouth. You don’t need faith and miracles if you have everything under control.

So then is bravery a reckless abandon, without care or thought of future? Not at all. Bravery is following God where God is working and knowing that apart from God,  you cannot possibly make it happen.  Bravery is laying aside the comforts of life for the compassion of God. Bravery is dependence on God born of a desperate heart. It is the deep understanding that the attempted work is so much beyond the individual, that only God could pull it off. Yet the insanity is, being in His presence doing what only He could accomplish is beyond any man-made satisfaction. Talk about exhilarating.

You know the disciples were scared, but you also know they were blown away by what they saw and experienced of God. Sure it was hard, but our desire for “easy” is an American curse.

To make matters worse, Haugen asked, “How are  you raising your children?  To be safe or brave?” Safe in the cocoon of don’t-get-too-close-to-the-dirty-world because it might rub off? Or brave so that they are equipped and desirous of charging the gates of hell in the name of Jesus?

Assess your life. Ask hard questions and let God answer them. Do you want your lattes? Or do you want to see His Kingdom come on earth as it is in Heaven?

“I run in the path of Your commands for You have set my heart free.” Psalm 119:32

We got trouble: right here in River City

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Does anyone even remember this line from the musical, The Music Man?  All my life I have heard this when bigger-than-life problems hit closer to home than we imagined.  That’s what happened when I read last Saturday’s newspaper headline about sex trafficking.

Sex trafficking? You mean women who choose prostitution as a job? No. Sex slavery. These are predators who steal or buy children then force them to have sex with grown men up to 12-20 times a day. I’m talking 5-12 year old children.  These are predators who ship women across country borders with the promise of a better job. But in reality they steal these women’s passports, take them to places where they don’t know the language, and then beat or rape them into submission. They are sex slaves. Forced to do whatever their oppressors demand.

Now put all this horror right here in little ole Knoxville. Or Atlanta. Or Los Angeles. Or Thailand. When it is your daughter, or son, does it matter what city you live in?

I have been reading like a fiend and meeting people who are making a huge difference in this battle. Let me recommend you read: Just Courage, by Gary Haugen. He asks haunting questions when calling us out of the shadows of Christian apathy and comfort.

Do you want to be safe or brave?

We love, and are made in the image of, the God of justice. We rarely talk about Him like this, but He talks about it all the time.

He has shown you, O man, what is good;
And what does the LORD require of you
But to do justly,
To love mercy,
And to walk humbly with your God?” Micah 6:8

1 million.

That’s how many children are trafficked for sex each year. That doesn’t include the helpless, defenseless women.

I want to just start the conversation. I want to ring the alarm. I want to ask you to ask God to show you what justice means in His opinion. Ask, watch and listen for His answers. Then ask Him what  He has put in you to help bring justice to the world.  If you are alive and you are free, then you have a mission.

Evil triumphs when good men and women do nothing.

Good Man Answer #462

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You know, I love men.  In fact, I am married to one. Still. And they never cease to make me laugh — especially my man when we are in a snit. So we had been having a few tense days. (You know the ones I mean…) In attempts to kind of break the ice instead of each other, we decided to go get coffee. No problem, it’s public, it’s safe.

Well several minutes into our “Awkward-trying-to-connect” conversation an attractive woman walked by and her perfume left this small cloud as she passed. I said off-handedly, “I think I know that woman and I definitely still smell her.”

Chuck says innocently, “I like it.”

Stop the film. Now this is from a man who has stopped most scented products in our house because of his sensitivities to smells.  We move at church and movies because of perfume wafts that irritate his sinuses. I have abandoned my favorite cologne because he can’t endure it.

And he says of the green fog, as only a man can say it, “I like it.”

I just look at him. Blankly. Trying to decide if this is when I kill him or do I wait until we are in the car. He must have sensed the possible danger because he added ever so carefully,
“It reminds me… of something…you used to wear.”

We busted out laughing. I gave him a High Five and told him that was one of the best saves I had heard in a long time. I told him that he should write a book called “Good Answer Manual” and put that as entry # 462, under the CYA chapter.

I tell all my young brides the same thing. With men there are only two choices: Eat them with a spoon or hack them with an axe.

Things Are Not As They Appear

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First. Let me say how thankful I am for hot, running water; electricity that rarely goes out; and computers that work. These are a few of my favorites things.

Second. I am so fired up about  the WGR class beginning Aug. 31 at Fellowship Church. This is going to be a great semester as we reach toward freedom.

Third. It is a good thing I get to blog every day because my cup runneth over. Zim stories, post Zim revelations, parenting growing pains, a disturbing trip to the mall, my post-it notes update, funny Man stories….I’ve got a lot of words to get out. Whew. Let me tell you what is burning most in my heart today.

As we were very first flying from Knoxville to D.C. on our trip, the sky was near impossible to describe.  It was as if we were floating in the “ocean” of air. There was a layer of clouds that looked like white crested waves, another large blue layer filled with small “fish-like” cirrus clouds moving slowly as if in schools.  It was a magical moment to be flying in a plane and have the sensation of scuba diving. Softly, I heard the Lord whisper, “Things are not as they appear.”

Hmmm.  I tucked that comment into my heart, feeling half encouraged and half warned. Later that night, three other people had similar impressions from the Lord, to not be deceived by appearances. In retrospect this is one of my greatest takeaways from this experience with God: we walk by faith and not by sight.

The sheer act of walking with God is one of close communion. Close enough to hold His hand, hear His whisper, feel His warmth. But it is also the sheer act of walking with God that invites us to lay down the need to know and control our own lives. Or perhaps, more importantly, lay down the arrogance that we can rightly translate our lives and circumstances.

Things are not as they appear. Here are some examples:

• The ticket lady had given us the cold shoulder. Our missed flight was not her problem. So while burning time in the airport, we began practicing our music. The three of us just sang out to the passing throng of internationals:  “Declare His glory  among the nations, For Great is the Lord, and most worthy of praise. Declare His gory among the nations. Among all the peoples His marvelous deeds.”  A few moments later, the same woman who had completely rejected us, turned and put us up in a beautiful hotel and re-arranged our flights.

• I was prayer walking around the orphanage, asking God to renounce the evil that several of us had sensed was trying to gain a foothold.  As I walked the property, I saw the iron barred gates at the entrance.  I thought of the scripture that says the gates of hell will not prevail against them. I was intently praying this promise and walking toward the gates to touch them.  Out of nowhere, a small child appeared two steps ahead of me and closed the gates. It took my breath away. Not from fear. But awe. Was God showing me the answer to my prayer?

On and on we had these “moments” that seemed common, but a with a spiritual weight. I have come home with a greater confidence and greater calm.  It is one thing to sing “He’s got the whole world in His hands.” It’s another thing to actually live it.

“For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.” Ephesians 6:12

“Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.” Hebrews 11:1

The Glory of Peach Butter

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The Zim Celebration on Tuesday night has really been an ordeal. Broken computers, room changes, etc. But more than that, it has required culling through moments and memories, photos and videos. It is a lot of life packed into three weeks that I am trying to boil down to a few minutes. All the effort is pointed to one thing: God’s glory.

It reminds me of the other day when I was teaching the girls to make a family favorite, peach butter. You take almost too ripe peaches and cut out the bad places, the bruises or mold spots. That is what I mean by too ripe. In fact, the best peaches for peach butter are the ones the grocer is going to throw out.

These culls are deceiving. They have bad spots, but if you cut into them a little there is still good flesh toward the middle. So you slice off the bad, and then split them open to remove the pit. If they are “cling-free” you pop the pit out. But if they are not, then you have to cut the peach off the pit. Did I mention that you don’t peel the peaches?  You don’t take their skins off, you just wash them.

So they have been washed, and trimmed, and pitted and NOW…they go into the blender to be ground up and then into the pot with sugar to be “cooked down” as Granny said. You heat the peach goop into a slow rolling boil and until it is a slow drip off the spoon. There is nothing better than this old farm recipe. It is southern glory at its finest.

Is anybody else seeing the human parallels here?  I want to be a beautiful flawless peach. But those kinds of peaches are hard and not so sweet. What I am instead is the kind that a lot of people would throw away.  But God.

God cuts out my bruises and moldy spots. But God doesn’t stop there. Then He splits me wide open and takes out the hard pits. Next  He puts me in a blender and grinds me up. If that isn’t bad enough He heats up my life and circumstances so that I feel like I am in a rolling boil.

But God. He doesn’t mind the extra effort I require. Doesn’t mind getting His hands dirty while He’s working on me. And He knows just how long to grind, how much sugar to add, how long to let me boil. And then the He gets to be the first one to taste and enjoy His new creation.

God is in the business of creating something wonderful out nothing. He gets all the glory that way. With this said, don’t miss us bragging on God Tuesday night. Truly He made glory out of nothing.

Give Us Our Daily Bread

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In the book of John, chapter 5, Jesus had just completed feeding the masses with two fish and five loaves. And the next evening He walked on the water to catch up with His disciples who were rowing in boats. (You might want to let your brain and your faith actually connect on just those two facts alone.) Got it? Okay, let’s continue.

The next day, the recently fed masses went looking for Jesus. “I tell you the truth, you are looking for me, not because you saw miraculous signs but because you ate the loaves and had your fill. Do not work for food that spoils, but for food that endures to eternal life, which the Son of Man will give you. On Him, God the Father has placed His seal of approval.” Jesus said.

Let’s pause here a moment. Why are you looking for Jesus? Do you want the miraculous supernatural life? Or do you want your belly filled? I know in my own life, I get sucked into only asking for mortgage payments when God wants me learn how to co-rule in His Kingdom.

The crowd asks Jesus a pertinent question. “What must we do to do the works God requires?”

To the surprise of us all who have been seduced into a “working for God’s pleasure” mentality, Jesus answered, “The work of God is this: to believe in the one He has sent.”

Huh? That’s it? Believe in Jesus? Not quite. This verse immediately sent my mind back to Psalm 78 which recounts the plight of the children of Israel. After all that God did in their midst, they were doomed to the desert because “they did not believe in God or trust His deliverance.”

To believe in Jesus is not a glib comment, or fish logo, or wristband. This is a “way of life” dependence on a Person. Not on programs, jobs, families, churches, bank accounts. Jesus is the central nervous system to the whole of our life. In Him, we live and move and have our being.

I’m not sure the folks with Jesus connected the dots yet because they turned around and asked Him for a sign. “What miraculous sign then will You give that we may see it and believe You? What will You do? Our forefathers at the manna in the desert; as it is written: He gave them bread from heaven to eat.”

What are you asking Jesus for? Are you asking for more of His heart? Or are you still trying to be convinced that He is the Messiah? Do you want His life or are you satisfied with manna? If ever there was a case of selective memory, this is it.

That manna experiment didn’t end so well for their forefathers and they are asking Jesus for the same thing. And Jesus helped them raise their sights. He said, “I tell you the truth, it is not Moses who has given you bread from heaven, but it is my Father who gives you the true bread from heaven. For the bread of God is He who comes down from heaven and gives life to the world.”

Can I dare to ask you who is your Moses? Who are you crediting for your provision and success and supply? Is it your work, your husband, your parents? Do you look to them to provide for you when it is our Father who gives you all you need for life and godliness?

Slowly a new hunger is stirring in those around Jesus. The people asked Him, “Sir, from now on give us this bread.” Then Jesus declared, “I am the bread of life.”

I don’t know about you, but for the first time in my life I understand why Jesus instructed us to pray: “Give us this day our daily bread.” It’s not the physical bread but the spiritual He was speaking of. Jesus has just told the disciples in Chapter 4, “I have food to eat you know nothing about.”

The disciples, like us, were still thinking the physical and asked a hilarious question: “Then His disciples said to each other, ‘Could someone have brought Him food?'”

Does God care about the physical needs? Of course He does. In fact Jesus tells His followers later, “Do not run after these things like the pagans do, your heavenly Father know you need them. But seek first the kingdom of God and all these things will be added to you.”

What is so startling is the remainder of this conversation with Jesus. He has made this declaration and then proceeds to tell them “He who comes to me will never go hungry, and he who believes in me will never be thirsty. But as I told you, you have seen me and still you do not believe me.”

Wow. My head is spinning today about what I am asking and why and who. I want to believe more. I want to feast on The Bread of Life. How about you?

Near to the Heart of God

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I have been wrestling since I got home from this trip.  Wrestling over the unguided generation coming up in Zimbabwe, with little to no parents, and the cannibalizing government that seems free to feed on its own people.
I wrestle with what to do, how to do and even if I should do…anything.  It is so Christian, and even American, to want to rush in to the rescue. But our rescue is not necessarily the needed medicine.
In contrast, I also shudder at the parallels of thoughts and attitudes of our own country to the thoughts and attitudes of far away Zimbabwe.  Attitudes such as entitled government at the expense of the working class, perverted images of women and of marriage. Lack of self restraint and a work ethic are bad here, but there you see years down the road. It’s not a pretty reality.
On top of this my heart is beating ever stronger for the plight of women and children swept into the cesspool of the sex trade. Seems we all need to be rescued.
“God, where are you in all this?” is a common cry of my heart. “For their sakes, for our own, what do You have to say about this?”
This morning, I think He began answering that question. First, I dreamed I was doing a worship dance to the song Beauty for Ashes. “I delight myself in riches of fare, trading all that have for all that is better,” is the line that sticks out. Then in the early moments of waking, I heard this line from an old, old hymn. “There is a place of quiet rest, near to the heart of God.”  The next lines got fuzzy and I could only remember part of the chorus, “Oh Jesus, blessed Redeemer…heart of God…”
The song didn’t go away and my mind woke up searching for the rest of the words. And then I remembered one of my dreams, where someone said clearly, “You need to read Psalm 46.”
Needless to say, first priority I found a book that had the whole hymn and I looked up Psalm 46.  Seems the Lord has a good answer to these kinds of questions. Don’t just read the words of each of these. Sit on them, absorb them. Relate them to your world, our world.
God comfort and encourage our hearts, Amen.

There is a place of quiet rest
Near to the heart of God
A place where sin cannot molest
Near to the heart of God
There is a place of comfort sweet
Near to the heart of God
A place where we our Savior meet
Near to the heart of God.
There is a place of full release
Near to the heart of God.
A place were all is joy and peace
Near to the heart of God.
O Jesus, blessed Redeemer
Sent from the heart of God
Hold us, who wait before thee
Near to the heart of God.
CB McAfee
God is our refuge and strength, an ever present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging.

There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, the holy place where the Most High dwells.  God is within her, she will not fall; God will help her at break of day.

Nations are in an uproar, and kingdoms fall; he lifts his voice the earth melts. The Lord Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress.

Come see the works of the Lord, the desolations he has brought on the earth. He makes wars cease to the ends of the earth; he breaks the bow and shatters the spear, he burns the shields with fire.

“Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”
The Lord Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress.

Psalm 46

Looking For God In Zimbabwe

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Audacious title isn’t it?  But there is a reason for it. For some of us on the team, the notion of hearing from God was about as foreign as the soil we were on. It was a great joy to share and coach these folks on the closeness of God that is available to us all.  But for others of us, especially those of us on the WGR team, we had to tune our ears to hear God in such radically different surroundings. On home turf, we three, Beth, Laura and myself had grown accustomed to particular ways that God conversed with us. With all that stripped away, we each had to strip away notions and familiarities, even comfort levels to regain our intimacy with Him.

The nature was different. Instead of seeing God in gentle deer in mountainous display, we were beholding elephants in dry, desolate lands. Instead of the usual prayers for God to surprise and supply our needs we faced the complete and utter devastation of poverty and governmental corruption. Were these people praying for God’s provision? Was this His answer? Would He answer us in the middle of such great need? This whole trip, in lots of ways I will explain in coming blogs, caused me to question my compass.

If I prayed it once, I prayed it a thousand times. “Lord I feel like I’m flying blind.”  That is how it felt much of the time I was teaching, counseling, interceding.  They had so much heartbreaking need, I had so little understanding of what to offer. But God kept whispering, “I’ve got you. Just keep going.”

Then the kisses began to fall. He began to speak to us in our language, 6000 miles away from home. For me it was hearts and butterflies. Lots of butteflies, even white ones. For Laura it was rainbows. And Beth, well she has a whole new story to tell about rain and spiritual downpours. All these little love notes were out of season and unusual occurrences for the region. But not at all unusual for Our God who knew how very much we each needed to hear from Him,  to be reassured of His presence.  You know it sounds funny, but God lives in Africa too.

What you may not know is, He’s also quite the show-off for out of town guests. Seriously, it is one thing to hear from God when life is going pretty well. It is a whole other matter when you are way out of your comfort zone in every way. I am so glad we have the “God who speaks and He lives.” I am so glad He came looking for us.

Returned and Released!

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Well friends, I am back and I am fired up!!

It is no accident that the movie “Invictus” was playing on the plane as we traveled to and from Zimbabwe. It is the compelling story of Nelson Mandela’s courageous quest for national healing. Mandela’s uncanny vision was to inspire their underdog rugby team to win the World Cup that was being held in their home country of South Africa. It was a gamble for unifying blacks and whites that paid off.

Of course, the soccer World Cup in South Africa is happening at the same this movie has been released and we are traveling through. No accident at all.

In the film, Mandela asks these questions:
How do we get people to be better than they think they can be?
How do we inspire greatness when nothing less will do?
How do inspire everyone around us?

He concludes, “In order to build our nation we must all exceed our own expectations.”

I have much to say about what I saw and did. Thank you for your amazing prayer support. We could tangibly feel your loving arms. But I want to re-enter the conversation by saying to build this Kingdom, “we must all exceed our own expectations.”

The word Invictus means Unconquered. I love that. I need that. So do you. When we face our own personal stories, our national struggles, and the international issues that plague our world, we need to know that “in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.” Romans 8:37

Roll up your sleeves. Get on your knees. There is holy building to be done. We dare not waste another moment in a foggy stupor of fear and indecision. We dare not continue to live little lives distracted by the needs God has already promised to meet.

Now more than ever, I am myself convinced that the world needs you. It needs me. It needs “Christ in us, the hope of glory.”

INVICTUS

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find me, unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate;
I am the captain of my soul.

~ by William Ernest Henley; 1849-1903 ~