women getting real

Fresh from the Garden

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Food is a God idea. Just like sex, beauty, companionship, intimacy, work – all these things were part of the Garden of Eden.  God says that male and female were made in His image and that they were to co-rule over creation. A part of that creation’s purpose was/is to provide food. “And God saw all that He had made and it was very good.” (Genesis 1)

So food is a good, God idea. Even after the fall and the flood, God still provided food and expanded the menu to include more than plants and fruit. (Genesis 9)

But.  Even before the new testament, where grace abounds, there are warnings against indulgence. Not for the health’s sake, but for the heart’s sake. When God told us, “Have no other gods before me,” He was trying to give us boundaries to thrive within. He was trying to tell us the secret of healthy hearts and bodies.

“Seek first the kingdom of God, and its righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” In the Garden and today, the idea is for God to be  rightly placed in our lives, and thus everything else falls into its rightful place.

One issue I take with almost all diet related programs is they do the “don’t touch” method. I am thinking of one friend who was so bound up in her weight and food mania that she planned out her very strict diet for the week. She would eat one meal, which did not satisfy her, and then she would immediately begin to obsess about her next snack or meal. Was she dependent on God, was she thankful, was she looking at her heart more than her scales?

The resolution is not more white knuckling. The issue is not eat less of this or that. The first issue is the condition of our hearts. What is God trying to tell us?  When I was addicted to Diet Coke, it was my reward, my relief, my aspirin, my gold star. I used it when I was sad, mad, celebrating, or punishing myself.  I had formed a kind of relationship with an object. And then God said, “I want you to come to Me for all these things.” When He showed me this, I fasted from Diet Coke for 30 days. I was amazed at just how entangled I was in this seemingly innocent indulgence. I had to learn to replace my habit with intimacy with God.

Why would He do that? Why even care?  Because I was not wired to think about, dwell on, look forward to, depend on anything but God.  Can I enjoy a Diet Coke now? Yes, but there is no emotion, no need to it. It is simply a drink. And it is a beautiful warning signal.  When I “need” one, when I notice I have had too many, the Lord uses it to prick my heart: “Take a look Jana, how is your heart?”

So how is your heart?

Delicious Deception

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There is a lot of effort, advice, and energy surrounding our issues.  I am thinking of food in particular. It is a tragic trend to study.

Chuck and I have seen the odd parallel rise among the sexes. As men turned to porn for relief, excitement and comfort, women turned to food for the same. For both there exists a deception of love and acceptance.  We form “relationship” with an object. We turn to a seductive picture of a body and how it promises to momentarily makes us feel. We turn to a seductive picture of a food item and how it promises to momentarily make us feel.

I kid you not in Walmart last year, there was a calendar display that stopped me suddenly. Side by side. Maxim and Desserts. It was such a telling moment. Two different calendars, one simple lie. A year full of fantasy.

What flavor ? Red head or strawberry? Brunette or banana split?

For both sexes, the compass of True North is broken.  Or maybe instead of True North, the compass of Truth is broken.  We turn to something other than Truth to define, comfort, heal us.

Sure, sure we know that. We only have to look at our out of whack minds and bodies to see this doesn’t work. But now what? Is joining another “don’t touch, don’t eat” group going to really heal the hurt and hunger inside?

For today, I want to suggest you begin a conversation with God and ask Him: Where do I go when I hurt?

It is not a quick conversation. But a slow dawning. Like the sun coming up, the sky goes from black to gray to full light. Ask the Lord to bring you revelation. Before you tear down idols, you have to know the Truth. So let’s begin there.

YOU AND I
by Shane Barnard and Shane Everett

Clean I call you clean
I came to clean you and it’s done
Here’s a call to all who’ve
Felt disqualified to run
Pleasures flowing here and there
From my right hand
What’s mine is yours
Come behold all of who I am

You and I will run
You and I will run forever
All is done
You and I will run

Come with what you do not have
And buy what’s undeserved
Feast and drink, the bounty’s great
I know you hear
But have you heard
Have you heard

Clean!
I’ve called you clean!
“I am dirty”
Clean!
“So unworthy”
Clean!
“Dirty”
That’s what I’m wanting

You and I will run
You and I will run forever
All is done
You and I will run

“Every one who thirsts, come to the waters; And you who have no money come, buy and eat. Come, buy wine and milk without money and without cost.”
(Is 55:1)

“He made Him who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf, so that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.”
(2 Corinthians 5:21)

When Words Just Aren’t Enough

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I have been trying to get my words around how the Lord showed up this weekend. We named the retreat “Yes and Amen” 6 weeks ago.  But little did I realize that the title was God foretelling what He was planning to do. We spent the weekend re-discovering the promises of God. That they are Yes and Amen in Christ. But they were not just words on dusty pages. We let those promises fill us with His power and we began to dream again. We dared to sit in His presence and let Him wash away our fears, breathe new life and courage into our hearts.

We began to believe we are more than women. We are His Women created for this time and for a specific God-ordained destiny, with His Holy Spirit power shaping and forming and giving us wings to fly. Because the Holy Spirit dwells in us, “we have been disqualified from mundane and ordinary lives.”  We were made to “shine like stars as we hold out the word of life.”

And shine we did and do and will. Could we have planned any better celebration? One sweet lamb was baptized in the cold mountain water. We all stood there stupified. We had cheered, and prayed, and sung. And we couldn’t leave. We all felt it. The power of God.  You simply did not want to walk away…

Here is a beautiful offering of what happened. To God be the glory…

“Be silent
rejoice
your spirit is cleansed

You are water
free as a rushing river,
no longer dammed, damned
for I am your current

We pour and shift
around boulders
without slowing

A force
in constant motion, stop-less
Obstacles are still, lifeless

can not steal power
when you trust and live
within me

love,
God”
by Michelle Westenberger Carrico

Living in Third Person

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How many names can you think of for the Holy Spirit?

Go ahead. Try.

Here are some I came up with: Comforter, Completer, Helper, Ezer, Warrior, Healer, Creator, Defender, Destroyer, Teacher, Guide, Counselor, Interceder

Can I get a “Wow”?  Jesus told the disciples that He had “much more” to tell them than they could now bear. “But when He, the Spirit of truth, comes, He will guide you into all truth. “ John 16:13

So why then does it feel like we sometimes shrug off of the Holy Spirit?  The Spirit is the presence of God in the world yesterday, today, and forever. He is the heart of God hovering, moving, healing all creation.  The Spirit is the Third Person of our Triune God.

I hear a lot of talk about returning to the zest and zeal of the early church. But you know what they had?  The Holy Spirit. They were hiding in their rooms, praying and trying to figure out what to do next, when the Holy Spirit came upon them. This one fact is as startling as the Resurrection.  Because of the death and resurrection of Christ, the Holy Spirit  moved from just working in the world, (pillar of fire, talking donkey, rescuing out of the lion’s mouth, thwarting armies) to living in us (leading us out of harm’s way, healing, revealing truth, providing resources, and more).

To have the power of the Risen Christ living within us to guide us into all Truth is a miracle in itself.  Do we really tap into the Well of God within?  He is available and willing; God’s love in action in us. This is not heady, stuffy religion. This is real life involvement with a Real Life God. Do you look for, depend on, seek and find the Holy Spirit?

I have marked my calendar, May 23. It is the date of Pentecost 2010.  I know I already have all of God, but what I want to do during this season is pray what Jesus prayed for us, that our eyes might be opened so our joy will be complete.

I want to live in the Third Person.

When Life and Death Collide

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Within a week there have been two infant deaths in my world. One unsaved woman delivered a still born at eight months. Another woman, a strong believer, was carrying triplets, and one baby died. In the process, all three babies were delivered by C-section. The two surviving babies are in critical condition.

And often the first question is, “How could something like this happen?”  More piercing questions sound like, “How could GOD let something like this happen?”

Really gut-wrenching, honest questions sound like, “How can this be good in any way?”

If we are not careful, these are the horrible moments when we throw around spiritual band-aids because we don’t know what to say:

“At least you have another child.”
“At least you didn’t have to fill-in-the-blank…”
“God must be teaching you something…”
“God works all things together…”

If we are not careful, because we are so uncomfortable with pain, agony, and despair, we will make all manner of attempts to fix, tidy, gloss over, and cover the gaping hole in those broken hearts.

And if we are not careful, we will miss the aroma of Christ. I told my friend who is truly broken-hearted over our friend’s loss, “God is good, and He is here.” He is right here. In the middle of this mystery. And misery. He knows exactly how it feels to lose a child.

The Bible says to mourn with those who mourn. And to trust that God is doing the same.  I remember delivering Judah when we found out he had died at 16 weeks. He was so small, he fit in our hand. To some it seemed odd because he was so little. But he was our son, is our son.

Sure we got a gamut of responses — the gossip, the “glad it didn’t happen to me”, the “you can always have another baby”, even the God comments that cut like knives rather than soothe like a balm. But the sweetest gifts I received during that time were friends and family who would simply weep with us. That’s all. It hurt and that was okay.

The help and healing came from those who had nothing to offer but their tears. These precious few didn’t come to my bedside needing me to make them feel better, needing me to explain anything or defend God. They just came to journey with me and pray for me, when I was too weak to pray myself.  My friend Nan says, “When you grieve together the love goes deeper still.”

Oddly enough, yesterday, the same day we heard about the death of the triplet, my sweet friend Amanda gave birth to her baby boy. And so we live. Life and death side by side. And somehow we are comforted because we stake our whole existence on one belief: God is good and He is here.

“Sweetly Broken”

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The Lord met me at the beach last week.  I am still in awe. Standing on the seashore I always get caught up in the seashells.  I just love them.  They are so beautiful and colorful. They are diverse and repeating. And for the most part, they are broken. That is why I only look for the perfect ones.

On the first day of the beach trip, I was so caught up in looking for the pretty shells that I had to stop, drop and roll.  Stop looking. Drop the handful and roll my eyes out on the water.

To which I immediately heard, “I am so glad you came.”

After I fumbled an apology for getting distracted by the lesser thing, the Lord and I started a dialogue about how seashells are really sea debris.  They are only indicators of life that once was. We talked for some time about learning to focus on the deeper life of God, the unseen reality of Him, instead of running from shell to shell on the shore. Instead of seeking the hidden living treasures of the ocean, I was captivated by the trash of the sea, the remnants and reminders of what lies in the depths.

“But, I still like them so much, ” I sighed. To which He replied, “I know, Me too. It is a way for you to see glimpses of My beauty.”

Fast forward to dinner that night with friends, and I was recounting the conversation. Then my friend Dana offered to read a poem that the Lord had given her.  I sat there stunned as she read about the beauty of the broken shells like the beauty of broken lives, because life pours out when both are broken.

So the next day on my walk with God, I kept hearing the song, “Sweetly Broken” (by Jeremy Riddle). I asked the Lord what He was trying to say about that song and the conversation from the night before. And Wow. I saw a broken shell in the shape of a heart. I thought the Lord was just trying to love on me, but He told me to keep looking. So I found another. And another. And many, many more.

“What is this, Lord?”

“You were looking for perfect shells. But you can only find the hearts when they are broken.”

“Like people,” I said. “Like me,” I whispered.

“Yes, sweetly broken,” He said.

I began to weep. On the beach. In front of everyone, but I didn’t care. I thought about my own story. And the story of so many women and men. And you only see our hearts when we are broken. Like our Lord, we saw His heart when it was broken.

And His life has poured out on us, and our lives on others. Sweetly broken, the aroma of Christ. Hallelujah, what a God…

Now That He Is Risen…

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Have you read the Day After story lately? Of just what happened after Jesus rose from the dead. (Do you ever just get startled when you read words like that?  It is really mind blowing…)

The soldiers see an angel. They faint. The women see Jesus. They weep and then run to the other followers. Then Jesus begins a series of appearances. From the Emmaus road download to two lucky listeners to the amazing 500 witnesses, He was out and and about.  Seeing and being seen. And I was pondering something.  Even when Jesus appeared to them, He was instructing and teaching of more to come. What else could there be after the dead being raised to life?

Fasten your seat belts. This could get sticky….

Lent has always nettled me a little. The idea of fasting and “denying” oneself as  a way to prepare for the death of Jesus always has seemed out of whack. I didn’t know why until this week. Of course it is a beautiful tradition. Of course fasting is a beautiful discipline. Of course we prepare our hearts each year to remember the suffering of our Lord.

But. Let’s look at what Jesus said. Even He rebuked the religious leaders of His day who wondered why His followers were not fasting. Jesus replied that you don’t fast when you are at the party. You fast when the party is over.  Or perhaps when the next party is getting ready to come. While we talk a lot about fasting and somberness prior to the Resurrection, it is only AFTER the Resurrection that Jesus instructed His followers to pray, and fast and watch.  What were they told to get ready for?

The Coming of the Holy Spirit.  The Third Person of the Trinity. Father, Son and Spirit.

Makes me wonder why we don’t throw a party celebrating Pentecost like we do Easter and Christmas. The Spirit is worthy of receiving, worthy of a party, worthy of preparing our hearts for. Makes me wonder about fasting now, after Easter, in anticipation of Pentecost. Fasting is, after all, a way to make room for more of God. It is a way to weed out those little affections that crowd out the Real love.

Think about it. There is more to come on Living in Third Person.

The Power of Posthumous

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I have been pondering the similarities of the Nativity and Resurrection. So I looked up the definition of the word, “Nativity.” Funny how I have never known what that meant. Here is a shocker. It is Latin for “birth.” In particular it talks about the Holy birth of Jesus Christ. Resurrection speaks of rising from the dead. And even Webster doesn’t mention any other person’s name in this definition but Jesus. Funny that.

But then when I started looking at death, I stumbled upon the word, “Posthumous.”

Check out the definition:

  1. Occurring or continuing after one’s death: a posthumous award

WORD HISTORY   The word posthumous is associated with death, both in meaning and in form. Our word goes back to the Latin word postumus, meaning “last born, born after the death of one’s father, born after the making of a will,” and “last, final.”

Postumus was largely used with respect to events occurring after death… Because of its use in connection with death, however, later Latin writers decided that the last part of the word must have to do with humus, “earth,” or humāre, “to bury,” and began spelling the word posthumus.

This makes me laugh.  Think about Jesus. He is the last Adam. His Life is a work that continues on after His death. He was buried and His work continues on. It continues not because someone discovered His worth and value after His death, like some remote artist. No. His work continues because He lives again. His Life lives in us and He continues to work out His plan through us. Truly, He is Risen indeed.

What kind of Posthumous Award could we give Jesus?  Our lovesick hearts is all that He desires.

Blood and Water

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Let’s stretch a little shall we? Here are two words to consider: consecrate and purify. Or in other words, set apart and cleansed.

There are a lot of parallels between the birth and death of our Lord. I have never thought it before. Ever. But now I am seeing them everywhere. Let’s look at the blood and the water.

Jesus came to this earth through blood and water. In childbirth, Mary’s water broke, and she delivered her Son in the same way we all arrived, by pain and blood. And when we look at Jesus’ death, we shudder at the blood and pain. But when they pierced His side, blood and water also flowed out.

Why does this matter? Because all through the Old and New Testaments you see the same thing. Blood and water. In the Holy of Holies there was blood on the altar and a laver of water for washing. With Elijah there was a blood sacrifice and 12 jars of water. Even Jesus was baptized before He was crucified.

At the Last Supper, Jesus used water to wash the disciples feet and gave them wine as a symbol of His blood.  Think God is trying to tell us something? Blood and water. Consecrated and purified.

It is the blood that pays for sin; it is the water that washes us. We are not only paid for, we are cleansed, forever. He is trying to tell us, “Everything you need, I have. Everything it takes to live this life, from birth through blood and water, to the resurrected life, through blood and water, I have accomplished this in you, for you.”

“Let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled [with blood] to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water.” (Hebrews 10:22)

Consider today what it means to be set apart and cleansed by God.  When Jesus uttered, “It is finished,” it was not the end of His life He was referring to, but rather the beginning. . . . The beginning of our lives made holy, and wholly new.

“Like it happened to someone you know…”

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After I killed the easter bunny in the WGR class, I spent the rest of the evening talking about the pieces and pictures of this incredible rescue story, of Jesus saving the world. Then I asked the women what is something they were asking for this Easter to help them go deeper into the Redemption Story. Some said greater awareness of God. Some said more dependence. Some were just full of joy and gratefulness and wanted to share that more.

But one woman took my breath away.  She said she wanted the crucifixion story to be more real to her. She said she didn’t want to just say that Jesus died on the cross, and suffered all those terrible things, and not care. She didn’t want to be able to roll that off her tongue and have no emotional reaction to it. “I want to feel and believe it like this happened to someone I know.”

I gently said, “But we do know him.”  She said, “I know we do, but I don’t think about Jesus like I think about my boyfriend.  If my boyfriend went through that, I would be devastated, it would kill me, I would feel something.  I want to feel like that about Jesus, but I don’t.”

Jesus loves to answer these kinds of prayers. I so, so applaud this honesty.  And it makes me ask, is He someone we know? Do we really care what happened? What do you feel?  Guilt, obligation? Gratefulness, confusion? Unspeakable joy?

When I first heard her comment, in my spirit I thought, I DO know Him, I do care about what happened to Him.  But then the Holy Spirit showed me, “Now you do, Jana. But when He died for you, you did not.”

This is God’s love in action. That while we were yet sinners — cold hearted, dead in our sins, grieving him not, concerned not one whit for his agony — Christ died for us. (Romans 5:8)

Oh the beauty of celebrating the Redemption Story. To realize since the beginning of time, He is the ever-pursuing God.  Jesus did do, and is doing whatever it takes that we might experience this Holy relationship; that we would recognize the gift of “knowing Him,” and Him knowing us, up close and personal.

Look for Love this Resurrection Sunday.  May you discover the power and beauty of what happened to Someone you know.