I’ve heard the story too many times, but that doesn’t make it any easier. Good women who put their hopes into one marriage, one man, one idea, only to find out, after marriage, they married a porn addict.

In a very candid way, a porn addict is any woman’s nightmare. Prince Charming is not. The one true love is not true.

Some of us hoped against hope that we had found  a man who loved us for who we are. Some of us saved our virginity for this one person who  promised to honor us and to “forsake all others.”   Yet we found out that he valued his own needs and desires  above  all. I know it sounds callous.  But it’s true.  While all addictions are brutal,  pornography especially assaults a woman’s soul.  It’s a very strategic tool in the hands of the enemy to destroy the man and the woman. And marriage.

So now what? We find ourselves in a marriage that is far from the romantic notions we held as young girls.  Instead of the cherished  ideas about being good wives in happy homes, we find ourselves in isolated and abusive relationships. We have become  helpless women in religious and social traps, where the “good wife”  is never supposed to leave her addict husband.

Let me try to clarify two things. Brace yourself.

1). There’s no such thing as a “Good Wife.”

2).  A man addicted to pornography has already forsaken his wedding vows. Continue reading →