Control

He is Able, But Is He Willing?

/ Jana / 4 Comments

Ever have those days that you don’t dare say, “What else can go wrong?” because you are so afraid that it WILL?

Yes? Welcome to my world.

When it gets frantic,  I notice that I want to “do” a lot of things to make myself feel better. Clean. Get angry. Fix it. Yell at it. Run away. And my personal favorite, blame, blame, blame.

So I go to my bathroom to vent, and I find I am mostly mad at God. What on earth has He done, you ask?  Well that is why I am mad. To me, it looks like He is not doing anything, because my circumstances are getting worse, not better. And you know as well as I do that He has the power to help me. So when He does not, or at least does not on my time table, I accuse Him of not caring about me.

Then I hear my friend Kristen talking about “striving with my Maker.”  When I am fighting God, I am fighting for control, or afraid that He will kill me with His driving. So I reach over and grab the wheel.   Not smart. I hear the words of a song, “when fears are stilled and strivings cease…”

And His Spirit reminds me of the verse from the weekend that He made come alive.  “For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. ” Matthew 6:32

Why do I flip out about bills, and trip expenses, and groceries, and all the other things?  Why do I run after them as if I am all alone and it is all on me to make this happen?

My Heavenly Father knows I need them.  He doesn’t just know. He knows I need.  And He really does care.

I don’t have to run after those things, I just have to run to Him, with faith, believing He knows and He is willing.

How Big is Your God?

/ Jana / 2 Comments

Today my friend Anna sent me this amazing youtube… Francis Chan – Balance Beam

You gotta watch it. But more than watching, you gotta get this. You get to decide what kind of life you live. Big or small. Strong or impotent. Reaching out or closed in. God-sized or  man-safe.

I think of big things when I watch this. I think of God setting men and women free. I think of God teaching the next generation how to truly value a woman. I think of God rescuing the women and children in the sex trade, of breaking down the strongholds of adultery and perversion. I think of crazy faith adventures to impact places like Zimbabwe, India, even little ole Knoxville…

But I also think of things closer to home.  I think of God getting me out of my fear zone when it comes to money and securty. And God getting me out of my comfort zone, my church zone, my “rights” zone.  I want to be free from all these places where it actually boils down to one thing: control. I try to grab hold of that balance beam so that everything appears to be in my grasp and under my control. But the more I grab, the less freedom I have, the less I can look up and see God, the less I can walk forward.

I watch this kind of God-sized abandon and I want to blow the doors off this puny little world I’ve created. Won’t you join me?

How about today let’s stand up and walk. Let’s let go of the beam. Sure our knees are shaking, sure we might fall. But our God holds us.

“He’s got the whole world in his hands.”

Let’s live a God-sized life.  One so big that only God in us could pull it off.