Beautifully Hard Lessons of Motherhood – Part One

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Somehow I want to soften this story to make it appear, well, perfect. But alas. That is the moral of the story. I am not. Neither are my children. And that is very good news. But first, allow me the story behind the moral.

A friend ordered Salem a customized potty training book. The little bear in the story was named Salem so page after page revealed a cute little bear talking to the Mama bear about how to go to the big potty and how “Salem” would soon learn to wear panties instead of diapers. We were both so excited to read it.

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Why I Still Go To Church

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Ah yes. Hear that collective groan?  “To church, or not to church,”  that is the question among believers. Many of us are sick and tired of the way churches have become bloated institutions driven by the agendas of a handful of people. Many of us have been seriously wounded, neglected and rejected. Many of us, old and young alike, remark, “I just don’t see the point.”

I do not deny these stark accusations. And yet, I still go to church. Here’s why.

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When Dead Things Come to Life

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It is one of those Holy Convergences. You know the ones? When God is trying to tell you something and He brings the same message from all these “random” directions? Yeah, one of those. It is freaky and delightful all at once. Let me break it down.

First came the lunch meeting at Aubrey’s.  I casually glanced out the window and time stopped for a moment as I watched this beautiful “pink snow storm.” Only it wasn’t snowflakes but seeds and petals caught up in the wind.  I couldn’t take my eyes off this magical display. The wind, like the hand of God, just wrapped itself around this life-laden tree. It  gathered up the pink promises, and in a gust, tossed the tree’s future into the air, carrying seed far from the original planting. Literally, it was like a river of pink seed carried through the current of air.

Are you seeing this? the Spirit whispered.  Yes, Lord. Yes.

Then came Easter. God always brings a new revelation around what Father, Son and Spirit did for me. For you. One revelation came as I was planting new flowers and seeds. I heard the phrase, “Jesus was  planted in the earth.”  A dead seed. But then God raised him to life and from his resurrected life came forth many seeds. That is me and you.

Our very spiritual lives are a result of His power to bring new life from the dead.

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Why Happy Marriages Matter

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People ask us why we do marriage retreats. They can be tense, awkward, revealing, and sometimes even scary.  But those aren’t the moments we focus on. We live for the  “ah-ha” moments when couples look at each other with fresh eyes, with God’s eyes, and remember why they want to try again. And again.

We do marriage retreats because people poured into us. We wouldn’t still be married, and happily married, (not perfect at it, but happy in the doing) if it weren’t for the older couples who kept holding out hope for us.

Marriage is one of God’s great character refiners. Therefore we need a bag of real tools and a huge dose of perspective to keep digging it out year after year. We need the hope of heaven to learn how to love.

Chuck and I believe that if you are going to stay together, you might as well be happy together. Thriving instead of surviving. We know folks who stay together “for the kids.” But  they might be missing the mark. The kids just  learn what it means to grow up in an isolated, unloving environment. So if you are going to stay married, then shoot for the moon.  Learn how to live in peace, enjoyment, and intimate friendship.

The “I Do. Still” Marriage Retreat is designed for newlyweds and oldyweds. It is for couples who need a break from the mad pace of life, who need a deep breath of the Spirit’s power, and who need some laughter and wisdom.

We are walking evidence that God can build, and rebuild, a marriage that is worth staying in. Join us.

Register here.

 

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Wait Training

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When I first saw these berries, I remarked to the Lord that they are like many Christians I know. So much potential and yet frozen over. Two days later, I couldn’t stop thinking about this photo.  Then the Lord dropped his interpretation and (surprise!)  it was very different from mine.  He simply said, “The wait of glory.”

It’s not a spelling error. The wait of glory.

As I mull on this notion, my spiritual synapses ignite like firecrackers. Wait on God. Wait on glory. Believe in His glory. In me? Ah yes, the scripture, “Christ in you, the hope of glory.” But hope?  What am I hoping in? No, who am I hoping in? He is our hope. Dan-n-n-ng.

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Whether we like it or not, there is a “waiting” in the life with Jesus. And it is holy ground. How will we respond?

Think of Moses as he took off his shoes.  Why did God ask him do that? Continue reading →

So about the Beach…

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Yes, it’s a beach trip. Yes, it’s a date with Jesus. Yes, it is soul time. Yes, it is heart time with other women (don’t let that scare you.) Yes, it is a deep breath, a belly laugh, a new vision, a creative outlet, even a few walls are torn down. It is worship and teaching. It is Yes and Amen Retreat at the Beach.

I don’t really know why this is such a profound time…But women from all ages and stages overcome their dreaded fears of “other women” and we soak in the presence of God. And it changes us all.

There is time to walk on the beach and gather shells. Time to  journal. Time to share thoughts and ideas. Time to be creative and stretch yourself. Time to pray for yourself and others. Maybe most of all, it is time to listen to the One our souls love. And the beach is the perfect place to hear him.  In a very real way, this is time you set apart to be with God. And that in itself is profound.

So you are formally invited. To step out, to draw near. To risk and be rewarded.  But seriously, don’t wait too long. The spaces are half full already. Continue reading →

When a “Good Wife” Marries an Porn Addict

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I’ve heard the story too many times, but that doesn’t make it any easier. Good women who put their hopes into one marriage, one man, one idea, only to find out, after marriage, they married a porn addict.

In a very candid way, a porn addict is any woman’s nightmare. Prince Charming is not. The one true love is not true.

Some of us hoped against hope that we had found  a man who loved us for who we are. Some of us saved our virginity for this one person who  promised to honor us and to “forsake all others.”   Yet we found out that he valued his own needs and desires  above  all. I know it sounds callous.  But it’s true.  While all addictions are brutal,  pornography especially assaults a woman’s soul.  It’s a very strategic tool in the hands of the enemy to destroy the man and the woman. And marriage.

So now what? broken_heart_by_fastreflex-1We find ourselves in a marriage that is far from the romantic notions we held as young girls.  Instead of the cherished  ideas about being good wives in happy homes, we find ourselves in isolated and abusive relationships. We have become  helpless women in religious and social traps, where the “good wife”  is never supposed to leave her addict husband.

Let me try to clarify two things. Brace yourself.

1). There’s no such thing as a “Good Wife.”

2).  A man addicted to pornography has already forsaken his wedding vows. Continue reading →

Dear Blackberry Farm, It’s Still Porn…

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Whether it is the Super Bowl, the Playboy Mansion, or Blackberry Farm,  presenting women as objects, reducing their whole person to body parts for male stimulation and pleasure is still porn and it’s still wrong.

Some local news outlets applauded the prestigious Blackberry Farm for receiving yet  “another accolade”  for excellence because they provided the backdrop for the latest Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition.  On the contrary, it seems they have cheapened their reputation by being an upscale Hooters.  For an organization dedicated to the highest quality possible, they have dropped their standards to such a degree that I have to wonder, is the publicity worth it? No wait, is the degradation of women worth it? Evidently, sadly, yes.

Men behaving badly is the same regardless of your locale.stop porn  This is so painfully obvious that it is near ridiculous to even have to write it out in black and white.

Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition is not art. It’s not benign. It’s not harmless.  Neither is sex trafficking, or adultery, or porn addiction.

It kills women, children and men. It breaks marriages and lives apart.

For what? An orgasm.  Are you kidding me? Continue reading →

The Launching…when God shows up

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There are just these moments when other people’s stories collide with my own.  And when they do, it gets so crazy “coincidence” that you know in your Knower that God is up to something big.

I have had this ember burning in my soul for months now. It has been a mystery, a wonder, a prayer. And I have hardly been able to even speak it out and  be coherent. But every time I tried to release in the physical what is happening in the spiritual, the ember would flare up into golden flame.

And then I would hear comments about hunger, and restlessness, and even eagerness.  “I am never going back,” is a phrase I have heard not once but three times from women who have gone beyond the bible study, the church going, who have gone into the deep places of God. My heart beats with theirs. So much so, that I feel like now there is a rolling fire in my soul.   We can’t go back to okay, God is wanting to more for us.

And thus. “The Launching.”

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God is gathering women who are hungry,  even desperate for more of Him.  There is a rising ache and groan among women who have really tasted the beauty and closeness of Jesus. And we want more. But how?

So this event is to help women soak in His presence. Really. To impart revelations that we need to stay centered in the middle of our lives.

Rest. Dependence — which produces peace and confidence. And so much more. Continue reading →