Doing anything creative is a blur of emotions. You begin with hesitation, hope and unknowns. You get going and you love it, hate it, and hope for it to be more. All at the same time. And when you push your chair back, assess and grade your work, sometimes it a tricky moment.
What was the greater work, the outcome or the process?
When I was writing the music for the Real.Life. worship cd, it happened in stages. First was the simple time in prayer when I tried to get the groan in my spirit to take shape in the form of letters on paper. Weeks later, Chuck and I spent the late night seasons knocking around words and guitar chords. Try to picture this. He is standing up just jamming on his guitar looking out the window. I am sitting on the bed reading through pages of lyrics. And tucked in the pile is this gathering of words that suddenly start spilling out of my mouth in song.
It was as if the Spirit was painting a beautiful picture, grabbing color from Chuck, color from me, then blending, splashing and dabbing. When we stopped, we just sat there is silence. Three way intimacy.
The funny thing is, I started not to send the recording to the producer. I told Chuck this is more of a “moment” that a song. But I sent it anyway. Then the Spirit pulled in Chris’ colors and gifts and the song became an even more brilliant picture.
Last night the Artist signed His name at the bottom of the painting. The final touch. Chuck listened to the rough cut and his comment took my breath away and burned in my spirit.
“Jana this is just like the scripture out of Song of Songs. ‘Who is this coming up out of the desert, leaning on her lover?'”
Read the words as you listen to this as yet unpolished recording. And hear that the whole point is to let Him do what only He can do through me, through you, through us. He is our life and He loves it when we lean on Him.
Depend on You
So glad to depend on you
So glad to lean on you
Your strong arms
So glad to see my need for you
Glad to know you made me that way
Be my life Be my life O God
So glad to lean on you
Be my life Be my life O God
So glad to lean on you
So glad to depend on you
So glad to lean on you
Your strong arms
So glad to see my need for you
Glad to see it was your plan all along
Be my life Be my life O God
So glad to lean on you
Be my life Be my life O God
So glad I can lean on you
Bridge:
Losing the scrutiny
It’s all about you and not me
Losing the need to control
The illusion is gone
I can rest in your arms
(Editor’s note: The Real.Life. worship CD will be available for purchase at Unhindered 2.0, February 12, 2011.)
So grateful you shared this gift of song. On a morning when lots has gone wrong and my hackles are raised and I felt like everything is resting on my shoulders and I want to just run away, this song reminded me to lean on Him. He never gives back to me the burdens I leave with him, but it seems I always pick them back up of my own accord. “It’s all about you and not me…Losing the need to control…The illusion (that he intends for me to try to do this life apart from him–that it’s all on me) is gone…I can rest in your arms.”
Thank you, Jana, for sharing with us your love for our Lord and Savior. It’s right on time for this chick, let me tell you. :o) – Dana
Yowzer!!! Love to hear that voice singing again. I LOVE the sax…my fav. This is fantastic, can’t wait to hear the rest of the CD. Fantastic post!!! Thanks!